Critical Miss: Noobgrues

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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Noobgrues

The average Call of Duty player is about as well equipped to play Zork as I am to eat the sun.


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Andronicus

Terror Australis
Mar 25, 2009
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It's weird they should put Zork in. Why would the average CoD player want to play a text-based game, even as just a diversion? Or, better still, would the average CoD player even know what a text-based game is, or how to play one?
 

TimeLord

For the Emperor!
Legacy
Apr 5, 2020
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Andronicus said:
It's weird they should put Zork in. Why would the average CoD player want to play a text-based game, even as just a diversion? Or, better still, would the average CoD player even know what a text-based game is, or how to play one?
I resent that! I am an average CoD player and have played a couple of text-based games in my time.

OT: "Quickscope Grue" made me laugh
 

TheRealCJ

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Mar 28, 2009
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Goddamn GRUES man, they just hide in darkness, waiting for you to walk in without any obvious light sources and DEVOUR YOU.

Plus, they're like, totally 0 ping, so they've devoured you even though you've already emptied an entire clip of ammo straight into their face seconds before!.

ALSO, they've got fucking MARATHON + COMMANDO + LIGHTWEIGHT EQUIPPED, so they fucking run around killing people without using guns. HOW DARE THE DEVELOPERS PURPOSEFULLY DESIGN AND INTEGRATE AN OBVIOUS HACK INTO THEIR GAME.
 

ForsakenUK

New member
Feb 11, 2010
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ha zork... what a classic!
id have probably got black ops if id known Zork was on there... mind you it is free to play online somewheres
 

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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I was playing Zork over at a friends yesterday and he and his brother where finding it rather strange that I was enjoying it, they just wanted to play zombies...uncultured fools.
 

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought or any kind of reasoned choice.

I know people who have given up on Half Life 2 becuase it dosen't tell you exactly where to go and hold your hand and every monent. I mean Half Life 2 isn't exactly the least linier game in human history and they can't even cope with that. Nevermind that most people think if you aren't shooting at something RIGHT NOW the game is "Boring". I would love to see the results of a CoD head attempting to survive in the zone of exclusion. There's no regenerating health here boy, quite the opposite if you hit radiation.

I guess to get to a wider audience things need to be acessible and i do get that (that's the main point of motion controls, simplicity. but people MUST realise that for more complex tasks a controller/ M=KB are infinitely better) but there is 'acressible' and down right 'played for you'
 

TheRealCJ

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Mar 28, 2009
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Scrumpmonkey said:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought or any kind of reasoned choice.

I know people who have given up on Half Life 2 becuase it dosen't tell you exactly where to go and hold your hand and every monent. I mean Half Life 2 isn't exactly the least linier game in human history and they can't even cope with that. Nevermind that most people think if you aren't shooting at something RIGHT NOW the game is "Boring". I would love to see the results of a CoD head attempting to survive in the zone of exclusion. There's no regenerating health here boy, quite the opposite if you hit radiation.

I guess to get to a wider audience things need to be acessible and i do get that (that's the main point of motion controls, simplicity. but people MUST realise that for more complex tasks a controller/ M=KB are infinitely better) but there is 'acressible' and down right 'played for you'
I think people have given up on Half-Life 2 because Ep. 3 is about a billion years late.

Poor Gabe Newell, if only he hadn't discovered the all-you-can-eat buffet down the road...
 

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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"Quickscope Grue" Made me laugh out loud, also, scored 290 at Zork when I finished it... or to be accurate, when it finished me =3

But I have to admit I laugh to the irony, a non linear game hidden in a linear game? Too genious to be a coincidence.
 

Bek359

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Feb 23, 2010
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GeneticallyModifiedDucks said:
Did they really include Zork? I think this is some kind of Critical Miss joke I'm not getting (again x_x)
Indeed they did include Zork. I have absolutely no idea why.
 

Irony's Acolyte

Back from the Depths
Mar 9, 2010
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Heh heh. "Quickscope Grue" "I don't know the word 'quickscope'" Take that quickscopers! Quickscoping is dead! Long may it rest!

"Oh no a lurking grue slithered into the room and devoured you!" "FUCKING CAMPERS!" Eh more like a marthon-lightweight-commando. Shoulda had his akimbo 1887 shotguns ready.

Very nice, very funny.
 

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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I heard the PC version of blackops is really bad thanks to the lag problems.

They nerfed quickscoping which fine by me because i never use sniper rifles in MW.MW2 gameplay. I hate quickscopers anyway.