Critical Miss: Noobgrues

[kouriichi]

Ahhhh Zork. The Bane of all with short attention spans.

Im guessing they put it in for irony. They knew 90% of the people that bought the game couldent play it.

 

[midpipps]

You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought

Ah yes the classic creative thought method of clicking random inventory items on random things in the environment in the hopes something will happen because you already tried the things that made sense and they didn't work. And who could forget the classic 'you missed the all important item that there was no indication of it mattering or even that you could pick it up and now you can't go back and get it so the game is unwinnable. have fun starting back at the beginning asshole! Oh, and were not going to tell you where you screwed up either, or even that you screwed up at all.'

You've been playing Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy, then.

King's Quest and Space Quest actually. My dad had a few that a tried, I didn't like them. Text games are even worse.

Example: The door to the room I'm in is locked, there is a key on the table.
Me: take key
Game: I can't do that
M: Get key
G: I can't do that
M: Grab key
G: I can't do that
M (starting to get annoyed): pick up key
G: I can't do that
M: Why won't this fucking thing work!? *thinks for a moment* walk over to table
G: You are now in arms reach of the key
M: pick up key
G: I can't do that (I didn't word it right most likely)
M: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!

Those are my favorite games still love going back and playing the space quest games. Once you get through a few areas you will start to under stand the lingo needed.

Also if you type in naughty words they have some pretty funny responses for them such as would you want your mother to hear you talking like that

 

[Iron Mal]

King's Quest and Space Quest actually. My dad had a few that a tried, I didn't like them. Text games are even worse.

Example: The door to the room I'm in is locked, there is a key on the table.
Me: take key
Game: I can't do that
M: Get key
G: I can't do that
M: Grab key
G: I can't do that
M (starting to get annoyed): pick up key
G: I can't do that
M: Why won't this fucking thing work!? *thinks for a moment* walk over to table
G: You are now in arms reach of the key
M: pick up key
G: I can't do that (I didn't word it right most likely)
M: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!

As much as fans of adventure and text based games will deny this, they have largely died out for a very good reason (the above post touches on just one of these reasons).

Let's face facts people, these games had more than their fair share of suckage (sure, some of them were funny and clever but that didn't keep them from being any less annoying and unintuitive).

Back to the comic though, it made me laugh although it's kind of sad to think that there is no doubt at least one person out there who will do and say exactly that.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

As much as fans of adventure and text based games will deny this, they have largely died out for a very good reason (the above post touches on just one of these reasons).

Died out? Oh no...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/hitchhikers/game_andrew.shtml

There's also the entire Sam and Max series...Monkey Island...there's still a few adventures around, in fact....there's this little graphical adventure that's quite popular I hear...

 

[Deofuta]

When I had originally seen Zork as an option in the PC screen, I laughed quite hard. Can't be arsed to play it right now however, having to much fun with the rest of the game. 4 player split screen is hilarious in DOA.

 

[Chris^^]

i LOVE this

 

[Shihoudani]

Hahahaha! That's just awesome! I know I've been trying out a bit of Zork myself on Black Ops. It's neat, considering it's the first text based adventure game I've ever played. Awesome comic

 

[Catalyst6]

The toy guns on the wall were a nice touch.

Yeah, while I can see how the Doom generation of FPS players might appreciate it, I doubt that the largest part of the COD audience will understand it.

 

[warboss5]

I just finished reading through all your comics and have come to the following conclusion: I am in love with Erin. Yes, she is fictional, this I know, but I love her none the less. I hope you realize this unrequited love will cause me to shun other, real women for fear of being unfaithful to the only woman who could ever truely understand me and result in my eventual death as a lonely, embittered old man.

On an entirely different, yet related, note: you guys are awesome, your comic is awesome, and it now sits proudly alongside Penny Arcade and Order of the Stick in my "check every night before sleep webcomics list"

 

[Rad Party God]

That last panel was a bit too familiar...

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I can't get past the first message. All I get is, "It's Here!" I try to open the mail box, I try to go to the house...nothing. I keep getting, "It's here!" That's great.

WHAT'S HERE?! ARGH...

 

[Urgh76]

Is it seriously included?

OT: Awesome strip this week XD

 

[elilupe]

It's weird they should put Zork in. Why would the average CoD player want to play a text-based game, even as just a diversion? Or, better still, would the average CoD player even know what a text-based game is, or how to play one?

I resent that! I am an average CoD player and have played a couple of text-based games in my time.

But thats the thing, the fact that you are on this site, have over 7000 comments, and have a Doctor Who avatar means you are not the "average" player this comic is talking about.

 

[Whitenail]

It has Zork? Man oh man Christmas cannot come early enough.

Then again, this won't be the biggest thing that'll have COD fanboys raging:


Hehehe...awesome strip this week.

 

[Unhappy Crow]

So it is true. I'm curious to know the percent of those millions of CoD: BO players that'll take the time to play this game. Also adding this game to a Call of Duty game is weird.

 

[saphiren]

Okay, Critical Miss is now my favorite webcomic EVER. I remember mapping the whole game out with my dad when I was nine. Plus it's sooooo truuue...

People who work on Critical Miss, here is your well-deserved cookie:

Spoiler

 

[binvjoh]

Haha, these comics are always awesome.

"I don't know the word quickscope"

 

[Criquefreak]

Maybe they could make an FPG (First-person grue) game. They'd likely do quite well at descending upon helpless prey in the darkness. The real challenge would be finding and getting into melee range of an adventurer before they light up a torch. Since no one knows what a Grue looks like, they'd be ideally suited to first-person gaming.

 

[kotorfan04]

I think I would regain all respect for Treyarch if they made each and every achievement in the game related to Zork. Yeah that would be fun.