Critical Miss: Noobgrues

[feather240]

Generalizations, we just love them. Nothing makes me feel more welcome amongst other players than rampant elitism.

This here people, is what puts me (or as Scrumpmonkey would have preferred, someone not equipped to do up his fly) off most text-based adventures. Until someone comes up with a text-game that has more than 1 correct wordings for each action, ill keep on playing RPGs.

What? I can't state that CoD is basically lowest common denominator? It's not elitism, it's fustration. Im not just generalising, these people exists in real life and part of what has debilitated them is the hand-holding, lead by the nose play-stlye of the call of duty games.

I'd rather be regarded as an 'elitist' than be one of those intolerable fuckwits who disregards a game like masss effect becuase "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" (yes i havwe heard this, from 10 different people). At least i have a basic grounded knowlege of other generes, series and stlyes of games. The narrowmindedness of many who just play the yearly CoD releases is staggering, THEY are the elitist ones, juding every other game for NOT being CoD.

No, text adventure games are not user-freindly and are very obviously outdated. That was never my point. My point was this and i stand by it; Much of the CoD fanbase are narrowminded, chuckleheaded and killstreak obsessed and have VERY little understanding of the wider gaming landscape but INSIST on commenting on it at every oppotunity. No, a lot of the 14 year olds who obsess over killsteaks could not find their fly. Zork is antiquated, i get that. Mass Effect 2 is not.

Mass Effect, really?

Mass Effect, the game game that tries to make up shoddy gameplay mechanics with an above average story. It's like trying to read a nice book, but every other page is upside down and after each chapter you have to grease the tires and wheel of your car then drive for ten minutes, before you can continue, and if you lose 'The Game' you have to go back to the page your bookmark was at last. If it wasn't for it's story no one would play it, ever.

So yeah, someone who enjoys the actual game part of the game probably wouldn't like Mass Effect. They're not narrow minded, and those "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" guys, maybe they prefer to have experiences created through social interaction instead of through a story, although they probably should try a story-centered game at least once.

Well, SPEAKING of generalizations... this could end up being one of the most ironic posts yet. I had no troubles - ABSOLUTELY NONE - with Mass Effect's gameplay mechanics. I don't understand how people could. I didn't play it for the story (although it was quite good), I played it because it was a space RPG. Your massive (and confusing) hyperbole on how much the gameplay of Mass Effect sucks makes you look... well... reverse fanboyish, and your assertion that no one would play it for the gameplay itself is hilariously at odds with what has been written above.

Vehicle sections, wonky cover, glitches... It's both bad and broken. Maybe I am biased, after all it is my least favorite game ever.

What I'm saying is that it wouldn't appeal to people who enjoy playing games for a challenge it appeals to people who play games for atmosphere and story.

 

[lacktheknack]

Generalizations, we just love them. Nothing makes me feel more welcome amongst other players than rampant elitism.

This here people, is what puts me (or as Scrumpmonkey would have preferred, someone not equipped to do up his fly) off most text-based adventures. Until someone comes up with a text-game that has more than 1 correct wordings for each action, ill keep on playing RPGs.

What? I can't state that CoD is basically lowest common denominator? It's not elitism, it's fustration. Im not just generalising, these people exists in real life and part of what has debilitated them is the hand-holding, lead by the nose play-stlye of the call of duty games.

I'd rather be regarded as an 'elitist' than be one of those intolerable fuckwits who disregards a game like masss effect becuase "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" (yes i havwe heard this, from 10 different people). At least i have a basic grounded knowlege of other generes, series and stlyes of games. The narrowmindedness of many who just play the yearly CoD releases is staggering, THEY are the elitist ones, juding every other game for NOT being CoD.

No, text adventure games are not user-freindly and are very obviously outdated. That was never my point. My point was this and i stand by it; Much of the CoD fanbase are narrowminded, chuckleheaded and killstreak obsessed and have VERY little understanding of the wider gaming landscape but INSIST on commenting on it at every oppotunity. No, a lot of the 14 year olds who obsess over killsteaks could not find their fly. Zork is antiquated, i get that. Mass Effect 2 is not.

Mass Effect, really?

Mass Effect, the game game that tries to make up shoddy gameplay mechanics with an above average story. It's like trying to read a nice book, but every other page is upside down and after each chapter you have to grease the tires and wheel of your car then drive for ten minutes, before you can continue, and if you lose 'The Game' you have to go back to the page your bookmark was at last. If it wasn't for it's story no one would play it, ever.

So yeah, someone who enjoys the actual game part of the game probably wouldn't like Mass Effect. They're not narrow minded, and those "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" guys, maybe they prefer to have experiences created through social interaction instead of through a story, although they probably should try a story-centered game at least once.

Well, SPEAKING of generalizations... this could end up being one of the most ironic posts yet. I had no troubles - ABSOLUTELY NONE - with Mass Effect's gameplay mechanics. I don't understand how people could. I didn't play it for the story (although it was quite good), I played it because it was a space RPG. Your massive (and confusing) hyperbole on how much the gameplay of Mass Effect sucks makes you look... well... reverse fanboyish, and your assertion that no one would play it for the gameplay itself is hilariously at odds with what has been written above.

Vehicle sections, wonky cover, glitches... It's both bad and broken. Maybe I am biased, after all it is my least favorite game ever.

What I'm saying is that it wouldn't appeal to people who enjoy playing games for a challenge it appeals to people who play games for atmosphere and story.

The vehicle sections were great (GASP!), and the extent of the glitches I found were two missing textures (that found themselves). And the cover was fine.

I guess my computer is charmed.

And that being said, Mass Effect on Veteran was one of the most satisfying and fun things I've played. Odd.

 

[feather240]

Generalizations, we just love them. Nothing makes me feel more welcome amongst other players than rampant elitism.

This here people, is what puts me (or as Scrumpmonkey would have preferred, someone not equipped to do up his fly) off most text-based adventures. Until someone comes up with a text-game that has more than 1 correct wordings for each action, ill keep on playing RPGs.

What? I can't state that CoD is basically lowest common denominator? It's not elitism, it's fustration. Im not just generalising, these people exists in real life and part of what has debilitated them is the hand-holding, lead by the nose play-stlye of the call of duty games.

I'd rather be regarded as an 'elitist' than be one of those intolerable fuckwits who disregards a game like masss effect becuase "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" (yes i havwe heard this, from 10 different people). At least i have a basic grounded knowlege of other generes, series and stlyes of games. The narrowmindedness of many who just play the yearly CoD releases is staggering, THEY are the elitist ones, juding every other game for NOT being CoD.

No, text adventure games are not user-freindly and are very obviously outdated. That was never my point. My point was this and i stand by it; Much of the CoD fanbase are narrowminded, chuckleheaded and killstreak obsessed and have VERY little understanding of the wider gaming landscape but INSIST on commenting on it at every oppotunity. No, a lot of the 14 year olds who obsess over killsteaks could not find their fly. Zork is antiquated, i get that. Mass Effect 2 is not.

Mass Effect, really?

Mass Effect, the game game that tries to make up shoddy gameplay mechanics with an above average story. It's like trying to read a nice book, but every other page is upside down and after each chapter you have to grease the tires and wheel of your car then drive for ten minutes, before you can continue, and if you lose 'The Game' you have to go back to the page your bookmark was at last. If it wasn't for it's story no one would play it, ever.

So yeah, someone who enjoys the actual game part of the game probably wouldn't like Mass Effect. They're not narrow minded, and those "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" guys, maybe they prefer to have experiences created through social interaction instead of through a story, although they probably should try a story-centered game at least once.

Well, SPEAKING of generalizations... this could end up being one of the most ironic posts yet. I had no troubles - ABSOLUTELY NONE - with Mass Effect's gameplay mechanics. I don't understand how people could. I didn't play it for the story (although it was quite good), I played it because it was a space RPG. Your massive (and confusing) hyperbole on how much the gameplay of Mass Effect sucks makes you look... well... reverse fanboyish, and your assertion that no one would play it for the gameplay itself is hilariously at odds with what has been written above.

Vehicle sections, wonky cover, glitches... It's both bad and broken. Maybe I am biased, after all it is my least favorite game ever.

What I'm saying is that it wouldn't appeal to people who enjoy playing games for a challenge it appeals to people who play games for atmosphere and story.

The vehicle sections were great (GASP!), and the extent of the glitches I found were two missing textures (that found themselves). And the cover was fine.

I guess my computer is charmed.

And that being said, Mass Effect on Veteran was one of the most satisfying and fun things I've played. Odd.

My cover didn't always work, my vehicle had weird turning, and a side-quest crashed on me, also, freaking elevators. Besides that I was having fun. What system do you have it for?

 

[lacktheknack]

Generalizations, we just love them. Nothing makes me feel more welcome amongst other players than rampant elitism.

This here people, is what puts me (or as Scrumpmonkey would have preferred, someone not equipped to do up his fly) off most text-based adventures. Until someone comes up with a text-game that has more than 1 correct wordings for each action, ill keep on playing RPGs.

What? I can't state that CoD is basically lowest common denominator? It's not elitism, it's fustration. Im not just generalising, these people exists in real life and part of what has debilitated them is the hand-holding, lead by the nose play-stlye of the call of duty games.

I'd rather be regarded as an 'elitist' than be one of those intolerable fuckwits who disregards a game like masss effect becuase "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" (yes i havwe heard this, from 10 different people). At least i have a basic grounded knowlege of other generes, series and stlyes of games. The narrowmindedness of many who just play the yearly CoD releases is staggering, THEY are the elitist ones, juding every other game for NOT being CoD.

No, text adventure games are not user-freindly and are very obviously outdated. That was never my point. My point was this and i stand by it; Much of the CoD fanbase are narrowminded, chuckleheaded and killstreak obsessed and have VERY little understanding of the wider gaming landscape but INSIST on commenting on it at every oppotunity. No, a lot of the 14 year olds who obsess over killsteaks could not find their fly. Zork is antiquated, i get that. Mass Effect 2 is not.

Mass Effect, really?

Mass Effect, the game game that tries to make up shoddy gameplay mechanics with an above average story. It's like trying to read a nice book, but every other page is upside down and after each chapter you have to grease the tires and wheel of your car then drive for ten minutes, before you can continue, and if you lose 'The Game' you have to go back to the page your bookmark was at last. If it wasn't for it's story no one would play it, ever.

So yeah, someone who enjoys the actual game part of the game probably wouldn't like Mass Effect. They're not narrow minded, and those "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" guys, maybe they prefer to have experiences created through social interaction instead of through a story, although they probably should try a story-centered game at least once.

Well, SPEAKING of generalizations... this could end up being one of the most ironic posts yet. I had no troubles - ABSOLUTELY NONE - with Mass Effect's gameplay mechanics. I don't understand how people could. I didn't play it for the story (although it was quite good), I played it because it was a space RPG. Your massive (and confusing) hyperbole on how much the gameplay of Mass Effect sucks makes you look... well... reverse fanboyish, and your assertion that no one would play it for the gameplay itself is hilariously at odds with what has been written above.

Vehicle sections, wonky cover, glitches... It's both bad and broken. Maybe I am biased, after all it is my least favorite game ever.

What I'm saying is that it wouldn't appeal to people who enjoy playing games for a challenge it appeals to people who play games for atmosphere and story.

The vehicle sections were great (GASP!), and the extent of the glitches I found were two missing textures (that found themselves). And the cover was fine.

I guess my computer is charmed.

And that being said, Mass Effect on Veteran was one of the most satisfying and fun things I've played. Odd.

My cover didn't always work, my vehicle had weird turning, and a side-quest crashed on me, also, freaking elevators. Besides that I was having fun. What system do you have it for?

PC, I used an Athalon 2600+ and Geforce 8800 GTX on Vista last time I played.

 

[feather240]

Generalizations, we just love them. Nothing makes me feel more welcome amongst other players than rampant elitism.

This here people, is what puts me (or as Scrumpmonkey would have preferred, someone not equipped to do up his fly) off most text-based adventures. Until someone comes up with a text-game that has more than 1 correct wordings for each action, ill keep on playing RPGs.

What? I can't state that CoD is basically lowest common denominator? It's not elitism, it's fustration. Im not just generalising, these people exists in real life and part of what has debilitated them is the hand-holding, lead by the nose play-stlye of the call of duty games.

I'd rather be regarded as an 'elitist' than be one of those intolerable fuckwits who disregards a game like masss effect becuase "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" (yes i havwe heard this, from 10 different people). At least i have a basic grounded knowlege of other generes, series and stlyes of games. The narrowmindedness of many who just play the yearly CoD releases is staggering, THEY are the elitist ones, juding every other game for NOT being CoD.

No, text adventure games are not user-freindly and are very obviously outdated. That was never my point. My point was this and i stand by it; Much of the CoD fanbase are narrowminded, chuckleheaded and killstreak obsessed and have VERY little understanding of the wider gaming landscape but INSIST on commenting on it at every oppotunity. No, a lot of the 14 year olds who obsess over killsteaks could not find their fly. Zork is antiquated, i get that. Mass Effect 2 is not.

Mass Effect, really?

Mass Effect, the game game that tries to make up shoddy gameplay mechanics with an above average story. It's like trying to read a nice book, but every other page is upside down and after each chapter you have to grease the tires and wheel of your car then drive for ten minutes, before you can continue, and if you lose 'The Game' you have to go back to the page your bookmark was at last. If it wasn't for it's story no one would play it, ever.

So yeah, someone who enjoys the actual game part of the game probably wouldn't like Mass Effect. They're not narrow minded, and those "It has no multiplayer, therefore it sucks" guys, maybe they prefer to have experiences created through social interaction instead of through a story, although they probably should try a story-centered game at least once.

Well, SPEAKING of generalizations... this could end up being one of the most ironic posts yet. I had no troubles - ABSOLUTELY NONE - with Mass Effect's gameplay mechanics. I don't understand how people could. I didn't play it for the story (although it was quite good), I played it because it was a space RPG. Your massive (and confusing) hyperbole on how much the gameplay of Mass Effect sucks makes you look... well... reverse fanboyish, and your assertion that no one would play it for the gameplay itself is hilariously at odds with what has been written above.

Vehicle sections, wonky cover, glitches... It's both bad and broken. Maybe I am biased, after all it is my least favorite game ever.

What I'm saying is that it wouldn't appeal to people who enjoy playing games for a challenge it appeals to people who play games for atmosphere and story.

The vehicle sections were great (GASP!), and the extent of the glitches I found were two missing textures (that found themselves). And the cover was fine.

I guess my computer is charmed.

And that being said, Mass Effect on Veteran was one of the most satisfying and fun things I've played. Odd.

My cover didn't always work, my vehicle had weird turning, and a side-quest crashed on me, also, freaking elevators. Besides that I was having fun. What system do you have it for?

PC, I used an Athalon 2600+ and Geforce 8800 GTX on Vista last time I played.

So either I'm unlucky, I can't support it, or I left anti-aliasing on... That still doesn't explain the side quest breaking.

 

[Continuity]

got to love text adventures, though I think the only one i've played recently is the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. BBC released a version with pictures

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/hitchhikers/game.shtml

Edit: I'm not sure I hold with all the stick CoD players are getting in this thread, I don't like the game much myself, i'm more of a CSS man, but the only serious CoD player I know is an aeronautical engineer... hardly dim-witted. Plus i've never had any issues playing CoD online myself, though I can only speak for the PC version.

 

[Something Amyss]

Lousy campers.


I can't wait to see all the "Let's Plays" of Zork now. Especially the ones with troll commentary.

>.>

 

[=HCFS=Discoman]

It's weird they should put Zork in. Why would the average CoD player want to play a text-based game, even as just a diversion? Or, better still, would the average CoD player even know what a text-based game is, or how to play one?

Finally, a reason to become an average CoD player: Zork.
that game somehow still manages to amaze me-sure, it's frustrating, as archville mentioned, but they can be fun at times. more fun that quickscoping n00b tubers tend to be, at any rate. at least the grue doesn't swear as much.

 

[Kajin]

Someone somewhere probably did this.

 

[Jack Dookie]

I've got a new word for campers: "Grue"

gotta love that "quickscope"

 

[Reyalsfeihc]

I can't get past the first message. All I get is, "It's Here!" I try to open the mail box, I try to go to the house...nothing. I keep getting, "It's here!" That's great.

WHAT'S HERE?! ARGH...

Once you open the mailbox you get a leaflet that's just a welcome to the game sort of deal. You have to walk around the house but movement is governed by cardinal directions such as North South East and West

 

[Clankenbeard]

ZORK was friggin' awesome just like every other early text adventure!

Obvious exits are North, South, and Dennis.
Now go