Dante's Inferno: Rated M for Floppy Demon Wang
Dante's Inferno seems to have reveled proudly in its "M for Mature" ESRB rating, featuring topless chicks, undead babies, and at least one demon boss who rocks out with his ... you know.
We already knew that Dante's Inferno was really going out of its way to earn an "M" rating from the ESRB - hell, there were "female lust demons with what appeared to be tongues coming out of their nether regions" and a giant topless Cleopatra with unbaptized children "pouring out of [her] nipples" in ratings companion [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/95686-Hands-On-Dantes-Inferno] published on the ESRB site, though, we learn that there's plenty more to look forward to in the game.
"Blood often splatters out of monsters' bodies when attacked; weakened monsters can be finished off with a set of commands leading to tongue-evisceration, but more often, some version of dismemberment." Okay, tongue-evisceration. That doesn't sound very pleasant, but it's unclear - is Dante chopping and/or ripping out the monsters' tongues, or is he eviscerating them with his own tongue? If the latter, then damn, dude has one talented tongue.
Moving on: There's intense cutscene violence (but we knew that from the animated trailer [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/96072-Dantes-Inferno-Animated-Trailer-Still-Inaccurate-Kind-of-Badass]), as well as unblessed infants "with sharp blades-for-arms zealously attack Dante in dark spaces. These 'unbaptized' demons resemble babies only in size, as they tend to hack, slash, scream, and impale/get impaled as often as taller demons."
"The game also contains some sexual content and depictions of nudity." Okay, now we're talking - but is there sideboob [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/96960-Final-Fantasy-XIII-Rated-T-For-Sideboob]? Inquiring minds want to know!
"During one sequence, a distraught demon-like creature seizes Dante's right hand and slowly guides it across her bare chest; during another, 'shade minions' in high heels moan lustfully - in the Lust level - as tentacles protrude from their stomachs, their lower regions. As for the nudity: a tapestry-style (hand-drawn) image of a topless woman embracing a man; the same art-style depicting a slave woman - breasts exposed - lying on the floor with the guilt-ridden; a naked woman on a stone slab levitating in the air (only her breasts are fully defined)"
...so, while there might not be sideboob, there's plenty of fullboob. And shade minions with tentacles protruding from their lower regions. (Think about it - modeling and animating those things was somebody's job). But oh no, that's not the best part about this ESRB rating, as we see next:
There is apparently a fight against "a bluish devil/demon in boss-battle mode - its penis visible during the flying and fire-spewing." What's more, in Dante's Inferno there are "equivalent physics applied to female/male body parts." Meaning that yes, there will be a boss battle against a demon whose Jimmyjangles is flopping all over the place. Because anybody can make a game with tits, but it takes a real man to make a game with an animated, dangling Sir Weinerhoffer.
Dante's Inferno GOTY 2010. Calling it right now.
(Via Kotaku [http://kotaku.com/5431725/dantes-inferno-esrb-rating-sounds-pretty-tame-boss-penis-physics--all])
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Dante's Inferno seems to have reveled proudly in its "M for Mature" ESRB rating, featuring topless chicks, undead babies, and at least one demon boss who rocks out with his ... you know.
We already knew that Dante's Inferno was really going out of its way to earn an "M" rating from the ESRB - hell, there were "female lust demons with what appeared to be tongues coming out of their nether regions" and a giant topless Cleopatra with unbaptized children "pouring out of [her] nipples" in ratings companion [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/95686-Hands-On-Dantes-Inferno] published on the ESRB site, though, we learn that there's plenty more to look forward to in the game.
"Blood often splatters out of monsters' bodies when attacked; weakened monsters can be finished off with a set of commands leading to tongue-evisceration, but more often, some version of dismemberment." Okay, tongue-evisceration. That doesn't sound very pleasant, but it's unclear - is Dante chopping and/or ripping out the monsters' tongues, or is he eviscerating them with his own tongue? If the latter, then damn, dude has one talented tongue.
Moving on: There's intense cutscene violence (but we knew that from the animated trailer [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/96072-Dantes-Inferno-Animated-Trailer-Still-Inaccurate-Kind-of-Badass]), as well as unblessed infants "with sharp blades-for-arms zealously attack Dante in dark spaces. These 'unbaptized' demons resemble babies only in size, as they tend to hack, slash, scream, and impale/get impaled as often as taller demons."
"The game also contains some sexual content and depictions of nudity." Okay, now we're talking - but is there sideboob [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/96960-Final-Fantasy-XIII-Rated-T-For-Sideboob]? Inquiring minds want to know!
"During one sequence, a distraught demon-like creature seizes Dante's right hand and slowly guides it across her bare chest; during another, 'shade minions' in high heels moan lustfully - in the Lust level - as tentacles protrude from their stomachs, their lower regions. As for the nudity: a tapestry-style (hand-drawn) image of a topless woman embracing a man; the same art-style depicting a slave woman - breasts exposed - lying on the floor with the guilt-ridden; a naked woman on a stone slab levitating in the air (only her breasts are fully defined)"
...so, while there might not be sideboob, there's plenty of fullboob. And shade minions with tentacles protruding from their lower regions. (Think about it - modeling and animating those things was somebody's job). But oh no, that's not the best part about this ESRB rating, as we see next:
There is apparently a fight against "a bluish devil/demon in boss-battle mode - its penis visible during the flying and fire-spewing." What's more, in Dante's Inferno there are "equivalent physics applied to female/male body parts." Meaning that yes, there will be a boss battle against a demon whose Jimmyjangles is flopping all over the place. Because anybody can make a game with tits, but it takes a real man to make a game with an animated, dangling Sir Weinerhoffer.
Dante's Inferno GOTY 2010. Calling it right now.
(Via Kotaku [http://kotaku.com/5431725/dantes-inferno-esrb-rating-sounds-pretty-tame-boss-penis-physics--all])
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