Dear Escapist, I F*cked up.

[Elementlmage]

Well, you have two hands, and she has neck?



All joking aside, this ***** planned it from the beginning and you need to try to separate yourself from her.

How do I know she planned it?
Two facts:

1. You said it yourself, women don't "forget" to take birth control for a WEEK!?!!?

2. The fact that she waited 12 weeks to tell you she was pregnant means that she deliberately took one of your options off the table. 12 week=3 months=1st trimester= abortion deadline

It's not that she doesn't want an abortion(well it is) it's that she wanted to be as sure as possible that you would be stuck as the father. I say hit that adoption line as hard and as fast as you can. She may not want to do it now, but if she is convinced that you won't be around(I'm not saying be a dead-beat if it comes to that; like it or not, it's your kid) to help her, she may change her tune in a couple of months once that water weight starts to get heavy.

Talk with her, talk with her parents, and for God sakes talk with yours; make sure they know your side of the story and push the adoption line HARD. Make it as clear as possible that she is a conniving ***** and deserves no more say in the fate of that child than you.

 

[Sikachu]

You done gone and fucked up big. That is pretty much my biggest fear.

I dunno, if she still can, convince her to abort. Here, try this jingle.

"If you don't choose to abort, I won't pay child support"

(I'm a terrible person)

In your position, I would flee to Mexico and become a bandito.

That doesn't make you a terrible person. In fact, if a woman is choosing to keep a baby against the wishes of the father, that should be the standard practise.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Man up dude. No matter what if that is your kid, then its yours forever. Grow a pair and take responsibilty. No one forced your dick in this girl and you knew the risks of unprotected sex going in (no pun intended).

Edit: Before you think I'm taking her side I just want to say what she did was fucked up, but if she refuses to give the kid up then there's nothing you can do. I'm not saying to be a happy couple again, but don't shun the kid.

Essentially what he said. No one is responsible for your lack of self control other than you.
You'll have to excuse my lack of empathy, but it's stories like your's that just make me shake my head. You screwed up (literally) and now you must bear the consequences. The real test of your manhood is how you face these consequences. Will you run away like a coward or will you face it like a real man?

 

[Crusnik]

Something seems fishy. Demand a paternity test, and failing that, get some prenatal tests for the baby. Contraceptive pills can seriously fuck up a baby. Some of them require that a woman stops taking them for a YEAR before trying to get pregnant.

 

[Bellvedere]

3) I'm still not sure, the forgetting the pills thing is AWFULLY sketchy, and another thing is, her family (I know this from witnessing it) is not a very supportive family, and her adoptive parents are fairly mean sometimes. On the other hand, my family is incredibly supportive and kind, and who wouldn't want to be in a family like that?

Well then, I legitimately have NO IDEA what's going on. She said she got her period, albeit a few days late. Also, the alleged period was only a few days after we had sex. So, it could have been the "light bleeding" you mentioned.

Well it would have to be at least 6 days after 'fertilization'. I don't know, to me it seems like she was never on the pill to begin with. There's no way you would not realise you had forgotten. Even if that were the case, I don't know if her missing her period was the catalyst but you said if was only a few days after having sex in which case the morning after pill despite it's name is still effective when taken up to 72hrs after having unsafe sex. It would be weird she'd forget about the pill for over a week but remembered the exact day her period was supposed to start.

It sounds cruel but the adopted thing and the ordinary family she has it would seem like she wanted to have a child. I've seen it happen, girls that feel neglected want to make up for it by having a child that will love them unconditionally. The good thing is though at least they'll love their child even if they're unequipped to be great Moms.

Have you tried getting her to sit down with you and your parents if you say they're really supportive and trying to get her to change her mind about adoption?

You should get a paternity test if she does keep it though.

 

[ethaninja]

Dug yourself into a pretty nice little hole there didn't you? Well, I'm sorry it backfired on ya, but look for the silver lining.

A child can be a wonderful blessing, if you look at it the right way.

Heh, or worse comes to worse a projectile.

OT: Good luck with that bro, hope you can look after it. Remember: don't be a fool, wrap your tool ;D

 

[Ad_Astra]

This is a very unlikely story, theres a 1 in 12 chance you were even in the right month for her to get pregnant,

Dear heaven, I hope that was either a typo or a joke. I know that this has been touched upon, but women ovulate EVERY MONTH. Humans are actually a bit unusual among animals in how the female is pretty much always fertile. As to whether women have more fertile months or not, I can't speak on, but as I said- Women ovulate every month (unless there's some medical condition). Humans are, again, odd in that way, what with our near-constant fertility. Also, a woman is most fertile between 15-20, IIRC.

OP: Like others have said- if she's saying she's pregnant (after the already fishy "oops, I forgot the Pill for a week), ask to go with her to get a pregnancy test, maybe at a Planned Parenthood? Or ask to see the results of an official pregnancy test. If she is pregnant and she's claiming it's yours, GET A PATERNITY TEST.

There's no way one "Forgets" to take their Pill for a week. I mean, really, it'd at least cross your mind after sex if you hadn't taken it. That right there is really suspect.

The whole thing could be a lie. I know someone whose girlfriend told him she was pregnant, and it was an utter falsehood.

Also, if she is pregnant: not saying you aren't responsible at some level- it takes two to tango, and you could have insisted on a condom. But if she set you up intentionally, or is lying- that's completely and totally repugnant, and...I don't even know. That's beyond awful.

If she's really pregnant, she'll need prenatal care. If she's faking it- how far would she take it? Pretend to have a "miscarriage"? Either way, you can't fake ultrasound pictures (well, you probably could somehow, but she'd not be capable of it), and she's twelve weeks/three months along, right? They should be able to do an ultrasound. Indeed, if she IS pregnant, she really should have one. That right there should bring the truth out.

Best of luck, whatever the circumstance.

P.S. I know what we say ultimately doesn't matter, but here's hoping some of it will do some good.

 

[Billion Backs]

Get the fuck out of there.

Getting kids when you're younger then 30s is a formula for disaster, you'll never get to spend some of the best years of your life on yourself.

Also, condoms exist for a reason, foo! Always carry at least two with you wherever you go.

 

[duchaked]

Dug yourself into a pretty nice little hole there didn't you? Well, I'm sorry it backfired on ya, but look for the silver lining.

A child can be a wonderful blessing, if you look at it the right way.

oops

I never impregnated my ex (whew...tho ironically that woulda made her stay with me but I'm not evil/stupid like that)

but yeah I'm with Johnnyallstar (lol sorry it's just so funny saying that ^^) on this one

life's short, find the beauty in it =} kid might have your eyes, wouldn't that be precious?

(I was once a hopeless romantic too...so take heart, walk tall but don't be prideful/arrogant, and take responsibility like a man)

note: man, I hope you're at least 18+

 

[Ruzzian Roulette]

Kill mirelurks until you level up, then unlock the Childkiller perk.

Wow. Just wow. This is amazing.

It's in horrible taste, but soooo funny.

Thanks.

I needed that.

 

[Bellvedere]

You done gone and fucked up big. That is pretty much my biggest fear.

I dunno, if she still can, convince her to abort. Here, try this jingle.

"If you don't choose to abort, I won't pay child support"

(I'm a terrible person)

In your position, I would flee to Mexico and become a bandito.

That doesn't make you a terrible person. In fact, if a woman is choosing to keep a baby against the wishes of the father, that should be the standard practise.

I agree too. There's no rules if the father wants to keep the baby and the mother doesn't. I think it's incredibly unfair the way women can trap men like that...

I'm so glad I'm a girl sometimes.

 

[KiruTheMant]

If you don't want advice?Thats fine,but fuck it,you NEED it. If you feel shwe lied to you,confront her,be stern with her,you'll know from her looks,and how she reacts. If you need to,test if it really is yours. Love this child,even if you didn't want it.

 

[dragonnewby]

Does this remind anyone of School Days?

 

[AWDMANOUT]

.....

Kill em?

Love them

Remember what Lennon said, it's all you need.

 

[geldonyetich]

Society has an interesting perspective towards sex in that we're supposed to regard it as a lot of harmless fun. Pornographers aren't going to tell you that the wild monkey sex you see on the Internet has a chance of a wide rage of consequences. That would only hurt their chance towards you giving them money. So you're going to be fed a lie every time you pull up smut.

The bottom line is that, though contraceptives significantly blunt the odds of pregnancy, no contraceptive is bulletproof. Use a rubber or a pill, it's a mite sketchy. Use a rubber and a pill, and your odds approach zero. However, those odds are never completely zero. So you want to keep in mind that every time you have sex you have a chance toward parenthood. If you don't have a way to support a child, you're taking a gamble every time you knock those boots.

So, you got a girl pregnant. Big fucking wake up call - literally. Now you get the usual choices. Parenthood or abortion? Marriage or not? I can't tell you which of these choices work for you because I don't know your social situation. Ask everybody you think should have a say on this.

Just don't expect much from the Escapist forums because by and large the maturity level here doesn't run super high. A recent poll indicated that over half of these monkeys are under 18, which explains why they post up the some brainless forum topic every other day with nary a check of the search button. it's the reason why I tend to find myself here by accident by and large these days.

 

[jboking]

Since you don't want advice and I don't feel like saying "cool story bro." I'll just go with this: Your life makes me feel better about mine! Thanks!

 

[Timbydude]

DO A BARREL ROLL!

Sorry, that was in poor taste, and won't get you the desired results.

FALCON PAAAAUUUNNCCHH that womb!

OK, I'll be serious now.

Remember that this will be your kid. Regardless of whose mother it is, he/she is still your offspring, so I feel like loving the child will be natural. But remember, it's NOT his/her fault that this happened. Give the kid a great upbringing; whether it's you or her taking care of the child.

You should change your college plans accordingly, though. Try to go somewhere within driving distance, if it's not too late. That will make it easier for the kid to see his mom or dad, depending on the custody situation.

I would recommend not staying together just for the kid, though. It might sound like a noble cause, but having parents that divorce at a young age is much more traumatic than only having one all along.

 

[Nifarious]

yikes...
yeah, if the girl trapped you, you're still legally tied to the child because the child, if it is born, has the legal rights to a father regardless of the circumstances...
Definitely make sure you get definite testing to affirm that it's yours...
Ignore the people who just say tough shit, you broke it, you fix it, ect. They're all virgins anyway. That's not to say you don't have responsibilities now, but just that life as you know it isn't over. It sounds like the girl is crazy and wants a baby with or without you...that or she's trying to rope you down permanently, idk. But you're you. Stay you. You won't be doing the kid much service if you, for example, just went into the workforce to start supporting it. Of course, this sort of thing all depends on your options, but as much as having a kid is bound to change your life, it isn't at all the end of your life.
This is just the sort of shit that you have to work through on your own. But the best this e-community can give you is its support, however vague, like this.
GL

 

[Sandaime]

Did it ever occur to you to wear a condom?