shogunblade said:
Snip to the Fifth!
Edit:
PsychicTaco115 said:
Forgive me OP, for I have sinned:
But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other.
Boy, do I feel better!
(I also waited until I was guaranteed the first post on the second page. Injustice strikes again!)
Dude, EXCELLENT Goonies Reference!
Thank you, someone recognized it!
OT: Ok, that was the light stuff, here's all my REAL crimes...
Forgive me High Septon, for I have sinned
Now where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose:
When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stile her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I closed my eyes, but I could still see her tits bouncing.
When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat sh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice.
When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did.
I once brought a jack@$$ and a honeycomb into a brothel....