Did I just cheat on my girlfriend?

[William Ossiss]

So, I recently got into a relationship with a girl I really like, but it's long distance and it's been moving pretty slowly. (She only lately told me she loves me) but she was/is happy, and I'm happy to be with her.

However, there's another girl I knew earlier who's started to sort of make moves on me, and straight up admitted that she'd like to sleep with me. I haven't pushed her away, and I've definitely been flirting with her. I haven't told her that I have girlfriend, either.

So, escapist, what do you think? What, if anything, am I guilty of, and how do you suggest I solve it?

you've already cheated on your girlfriend by:
1. flirting back with this girl.
2. NOT telling her that you have a girlfriend.

way to think with your dick, dude.

it would be best to break up with her. let her down now before she finds out. you've already cheated, so what's to stop you from doing it again?

note: your emotionally cheating. your getting attention from this other girl that you cannot get from your current girlfriend. also, a relationship cannot be built upon fornication. you'll find out one day.

 

[Nieroshai]

You're guilty of wanting to cheat, but if you haven't touched her you haven't cheated. But I'd advise figuring out what you really want here, eitherr stop flirting or dump your long distance girl but don't stay in a position where you could betray someone.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

You've lied, if nothing else. You need to decide which one you actually want, and be honest with both girls when you do. Do you want a girl you've described as "been happy with" or one that seems to just want to have sex with you? You need to ask questions like "are you ever going to be living in the same place as the long distance girlfriend" and "does the other girl actually want a relationship or is she just interested in sex?".

 

[Isgandar]

I can make it pretty simple for you. First off, long-distance relationships do not work. End of. Secondly, a girl who 'straight up admitted she'd like to sleep with me' is bad news as well. So I suggest you stop any contact with both of them and return to your videogames good sir.

 

[General_Potatoes]

As long as your GF doesn't find out, it's all cool. Although, when she does your screwed buddy.

 

[Brandon Lum]

No, you didn't cheat.

You are not guilty of anything.

Solve it by dumping the chick way the hell over yonder, and - YOU KNEW THIS GIRL EARLIER?! - bang the chick that wants to bang you.

Just make sure to do it in this order.

 

[The Lugz]

can the long distance relationship, they never work anyway
tried it, if you cant look someone in the face when you talk to them it's
'game over'
to put it super obtusely blunt

 

[Skoosh]

I'd say you're definitely near that cheating edge. On which side though, it's hard to say. It's certainly dickish to both girls. You're hiding your flirt from your girlfriend and leading this other girl on. Go with one or the other, don't sit here in limbo.

From personal experience, long-distance relationships are difficult but possible...so long as they aren't distant for too long. A different college? If you spend all the breaks together, might get through it, but really unlikely. More than a year, even with frequent visits, is difficult for a relationship that isn't fully developed. A semester or two away though isn't bad.

On the other hand, there's a good chance you're willing to jump on most anyone since you're in a long-distance relationship. It will be easier to have a girlfriend nearby, but your judgement is likely clouded from lack of contact.

Either way, choose one. Stop leading that poor girl on and emotionally cheating on your girlfriend. You're also really close to cheating for sure.

P.S. How long have you been with that girlfriend to think saying "I love you" is moving slowly? That's a pretty big step, I think. Eh, everyone is different, whatever.

 

[Firia]

So, I recently got into a relationship with a girl I really like, but it's long distance and it's been moving pretty slowly. (She only lately told me she loves me) but she was/is happy, and I'm happy to be with her.

However, there's another girl I knew earlier who's started to sort of make moves on me, and straight up admitted that she'd like to sleep with me. I haven't pushed her away, and I've definitely been flirting with her. I haven't told her that I have girlfriend, either.

So, escapist, what do you think? What, if anything, am I guilty of, and how do you suggest I solve it?

You're boarderline- and either girl would be / should be upset to learn that things have gone this far without you coming clean that you have a girlfriend, or denying the advances. Unless you're in an open relationship, you cannot have your cake and eat it too.

 

[marurder]

A person cannot be condemned for a thought (so the court of public opinion says).

You haven't done the deed, so there is nothing 'cheating' there. Being honest with your gf about this will NOT help at all. Telling her any inkling of this will only damage the relationship (honesty is the best policy my ass - I speak from the throne of experience). So IMO flirting is fine but keep your head and don't think with your pants.

 

[Killclaw Kilrathi]

note: your emotionally cheating. your getting attention from this other girl that you cannot get from your current girlfriend. also, a relationship cannot be built upon fornication. you'll find out one day.

There's no such thing as emotional cheating, either that or everyone on the planet is guilty of it. Most people aren't biologically capable of switching off all possible attraction to everyone except their significant other, and any partner who expects you to do so is being unreasonable and a hypocrite.

Don't feel bad for feeling attraction to another person, OP. Especially when she's right there and the one you're in a relationship with is far away. But you have to decide one way or the other if you can commit to long distance. Most people can't, and they would have saved themselves a lot of grief by admitting that and coming clean with their partner before they slept with someone else. There's no shame in breaking up with your current partner if you can't deal with it, shame only comes if you cheat on her first.

 

[Bigsmith]

Flirting is hardly cheating. In fact, I think a little flirting is perfectly healthy. As long as you keep your hands to yourself, a little flirting can actually help in certain instances. If anything, long distance relationships are painfully retarded and should be avoided at all costs. They never end well and usually force someone into doing something rash like moving. I would recommend getting out of it.

Pretty much this. I wouldn't say that it's a good idea, I know people who have been in them for over a year and they're constantly depressed.

Another long distance relationship I know of is that of an "Open Relationship" where they can do stuff with other people as long as it's nothing serious. But that takes some serious trust in order for it work.

 

[katsumoto03]

If at any point you're genuinely asking yourself, "Am I cheating," you're doing something wrong.

 

[Bigsmith]

Agh, way too much kind-hearted advice so far, time to give it a spin...

Long distance love = 4 people happy.

Get the emotional needs from the long distance GF and the physical needs from the local girl. Voilá!

Until the whole thing comes crashing down when they both find out what's happening.

Terrible advice.

It's not that bad advice, if you don't keep it a secret. Just requires a lot of trust on both sides. You can even lay down some rules on how far you can go with people.

 

[Canid117]

Not quite yet but I would shut the other girl down if you want to keep your girlfriend.

 

[brainslurper]

How long distance...

 

[Phoenixlight]

While it's not cheating it's not really right either, you should tell the other girl that you have a girlfriend and stop flirting.

 

[Gudrests]

You've got to make a decision:
a) Break up with your Girlfriend and get with this girl
b) Tell the girl you have a Girlfriend
c) Don't tell her, but don't break up with your girlfriend, have two girlfriends and see how happy your morals let you be

I'd go with a, but I only know what you told me, maybe your current girlfriend is incredible and you'll see her soon, I don't know, but I don't think long distance relationships are a good idea in general

GO WITH C DO IT DIFFRENT AREA CODES MAH BRO HAM....but yeah flirting is ok just no touchie.

 

[EuZic]

I know most people will disagree, but I try to be understanding when it comes the concept of cheating, mostly because people tend to view what they can't have as being really attractive. If I was to be in a relationship with someone I'd really love, I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with sexual experimentation, as long as I know it's just that There are normal curiosities each of us has regarding our sexuality. And best of all, there are few consequences to our actions if we're still young and trying out relationships. We have plenty of time to learn responsability

I guess I'm saying that whatever you decide to do in the end, whether it is to actually cheat on your girlfriend or not, it's important that you are satisfied with this decision. You can't go all married husband and then resent your girlfriend because you feel like she's grounding you. So think on it, then act.