Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

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Thaluikhain

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I hate "Merciful bad guys" scenes. Like, when 100 bad guys are shooting at 007 for about an hour straight, then one catches him dead bang and acts like he is trying to arrest him. Bought JW 3 from Amazon UHD and it is a spectacular thing to view. Some terrific lore. BUT: Has at least 2 merciful bad guy scenes that tank so much for me. And some plot points that seem there just to keep nonsense going. But so much is electric action. I will watch 4 if / when it comes out some time after the next "Bill and Ted' movie.
Don't mind merciful bad guys bits, myself. Only remember one in John Wick 3, myself, towards the end in the overly fancy room in the hotel where the two guys help him back up and offer to help him back up...but then later he could have killed them and he walks off, so fair enough.

Shouldn't that be Jumanji 3?
Or 4, if you count the space one no-one ever watched.
 

Ezekiel

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Godzilla: King of the Monsters just joined only one other movie I've dropped this year, out of about two hundred. I didn't like any of the characters. Still bored after 48 minutes. Giant monster fighting wasn't enough to carry it.
 

Hawki

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Stargate: Origins (4/10)

The reason I'm reviewing this as a movie is that it's currently only available in movie form. As in, while this was originally a web series, the movie version is now the de facto one. Whatever the case though, movie or series, Stargate Origins isn't good. As a movie in of itself, it's bad. As a Stargate movie, it's terrible.

I'm going to start with the general elements of this movie that make it lacklustre. The dialogue is repetitive. The sets are confined. The characters are bland. The whole thing is non-eventful. Like, it's competent, but this is very much a direct to DVD movie that you'd get for $10 at most, and it doesn't even have the budget of the Stargate movies that WERE released straight to DVD. Really, there's nothing to reccomend to get someone to watch this movie by itself, even though you probably could without any knowledge of Stargate and get the gist of things, though the original movie is a much better entry point. But enough talk about that, let's talk about why this movie is so lacklustre in the context of its own IP.

Origins is little better than glorified fanfiction. It makes no impact on the wider Stargate universe, and it's loaded with fan service, answering questions that were never asked, while opening up plotholes. There's the mini ones, that 1930s jeeps can somehow generate enough energy to open the stargate. But then there's bizzare ones - ever wanted to know why the seventh symbol in the original film was missing? Congratulations, now you know. Wanted to know who were behind the helmets of Ra's Jackal Guard? Now you know (in fairness, this is one of the few pieces of fan service I feel works). You want to know why Catherine Langford pushed to study the stargate? Brainwashing. Yep, brainwashing. I guess free will took it right in the arse, while Aset wins the prize for Convoluted, No Real Chance at Succeeding Plan. Want to know why the stargate was where it was in the original film? Now you know. I could go on in the realm of unnecessary answers to unnecessary questions, but even when those aren't done, the plot of the film weakens the original. In the original, the premise was that this was the first time Earth had opened the stargate to Abydos. Here, Ra is aware that they've opened the stargate, so the original film can't help but be weakened by it. And back to the cinematography angle, as flawed as the original was, it at least captured a sense of scale. It at least had the theme of technology triumphing over superstition (arguably). Origins has none of this. I'll give Origins credit that it actually has to factor in the tranlation issue (an issue that SG-1 and Atlantis ignored), but it's not enough to salvage the film. The only piece of credit I can give it is where Aset sees the Nazi footage and asks about slaves. The unspoken comment (well, partly spoken) is that thousands of years after gaining their freedom from the goa'uld, humanity has proven itself capable of the same cruelty, but if you're expecting any kind of deeper theme from this, keep dreaming.

In the end, Origins is worthless. It's got no reason to exist. Heck, I'm left to ask why it exists. I've seen it suggested that it was made so that MGM could retain the rights, but I don't know for sure. Funny thing is, the full name is Stargate: Origins - Catherine, as if this was meant to be the first in a series of origin series. I wouldn't be opposed to that, but they have to be better than this if they want me to keep watching.
 

Thaluikhain

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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Which is the 2nd or 3rd Jumanji movie, depending on whether or not you remember the space one.

It was not bad, but not great. In particular the bit where the hardcore action heroine that goes round killing blokes fails to flirt with 2 blokes she's obviously going to kill in a minute went on way too long.
 

Hawki

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Doom: Annihilation (7/10)

Okay, fess up. Who's the person or people that had me believing this was bad? Come on. You can't hide forever.

No? Okay, fine. I'll do it myself.

Turns out Annihilation is actually pretty decent. Good, even. I say that in the knowledge that it's a good B movie, in that in a sense, it's every generic B movie you've seen where bad thing happens, soldiers go on, soldiers shoot, soldiers die, but they win in the end. Y'know, the template that Aliens popularized, if not pioneered. In terms of premise, it's the same as the original Doom movie, but, y'know, good. I'll get this out of the way, as an adaptation of Doom, Annihilation is easily better. There's like, no comparison to be had. The monsters are actually demons, Hell is actually Hell, etc. Of course, being more faithful to the source material than the original film is a low bar to cross, but Annihilation manages it, and has plenty of easter eggs along the way - the AI is named Daisy, there's a Sergeant William J. Blaskowicz, the keycards are colour-coded, and two marines make reference to "ultra-nightmare" and...okay, that last one was pretty forced, but most of the time, it works.

As its own thing, Annihilation is disposable popcorn fluff, but it's FUN fluff. Characters are broad, but they have some depth to him. Pace is mostly good. The worldbuilding, such as it is, is consistent. Maybe that's a low bar, but y'know what? I liked Annihilation. Bite me. And I'd even like a sequel to be released, though that's unlikely to happen.
 

Dalisclock

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Doom: Annihilation (7/10)

Okay, fess up. Who's the person or people that had me believing this was bad? Come on. You can't hide forever.
Wait, there's another Doom movie? I totally missed this until you mentioned it. Even the gaming sites I go to haven't been talking about it much, and normally these things get at least a passing mention.
 

Hawki

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Wait, there's another Doom movie? I totally missed this until you mentioned it. Even the gaming sites I go to haven't been talking about it much, and normally these things get at least a passing mention.
I'm surprised you missed it, it was discussed a lot, at least in the context of how it related to the games (or didn't).
 

Thaluikhain

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It went straight to DVD. And, there's probably a reason for that. I'll take the 2005 one, even with the entire story being changed.
 
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BrawlMan

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It went straight to DVD. And, there's probably a reason for that. I'll take the 2005 one, even with the entire story being changed.
Same here. Doom Annihilation made Mortal Kombat Annihilation look like a masterpiece by comparison.
 

BrawlMan

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Ah, that explains it. I normally don't even hear about straight to DVD type movies anymore.
The funny thing is, direct-to-DVD films have gotten better in quality, if we're talking about action and sometimes horror films. I noticed the trend around 2012/13. They ain't perfect, but I found directo-to-DVD action films more interesting or have better action than films released in theaters. It did not help as a lot of non-Marvel/Superhero action films still felt the need to do the Jason Bourne shaky-cam-over-edit-quick-cut bull-shit and call it "realistic".
 

Johnny Novgorod

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The Old Guard

Charlize Theron leads a group of immortal mercenaries. This one is on me. I was checked out 10 minutes in. I thought it would be another brainless in-and-out action vehicle ala Extraction but it turns out it's 1) based on a comic book 2) essentially about superheroes and 3) pitching yet another franchise with one of those shit's-about-to-get-real stingers. Listen, why do I care about the action scenes if all the heroes are immortal and their enemies aren't? This is like The Boys if they'd gotten the powerless underdogs mixed with the murderous Ubermensch. Except it's the kind of immortality that works until the plot doesn't want to anymore. No, it's never explained, the characters are as puzzled out as you are. I don't understand the rave reviews but for we all like Charlize who looks bomb in her Ruby Rose cosplay.
 

Thaluikhain

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Ok, in retrospect I was much too harsh on Charlies Angels, and X-Men: Dark Phoenix and even Doom: Annihilation.

In not unrelated news, I've just watched Spiderman Homecoming. Now, of course, taste in movies are subjective, but it was an irredeemably awful film, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. IMHO, of course, but boo! I wonder if as a joke they told Michael Keaton he was in a real film or something, because he's doing a legitimately good job with what he's got, but the everything else was rubbish. This is rubbish, that is rubbish, this is rubbish, that is Michael Keaton. Boo!

Also, I watched Maleficent, starring Angelina Jolie and her excessive cheekbones and horns. Which was quite decent, nice visuals, solid if predictable plot, should have lost the unfunny pixies.
 

BrawlMan

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In not unrelated news, I've just watched Spiderman Homecoming. Now, of course, taste in movies are subjective, but it was an irredeemably awful film, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. IMHO, of course, but boo! I wonder if as a joke they told Michael Keaton he was in a real film or something, because he's doing a legitimately good job with what he's got, but the everything else was rubbish. This is rubbish, that is rubbish, this is rubbish, that is Michael Keaton. Boo!
I always found the MCU Spiderman films okay. Better than 3, and both Amazing Spiderman films, but not better than 1 or 2. They do have better pacing than Spiderman 2, so I will give them that. 2 dragged on for way too long at times; especially if you have the 2.1/Director's cut version. Spiderverse is the best Spiderman movie in my opinion. I will give credit to Far From Home with its cool Mysterio visuals and illusions.
 

Gordon_4

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The Old Guard

Charlize Theron leads a group of immortal mercenaries. This one is on me. I was checked out 10 minutes in. I thought it would be another brainless in-and-out action vehicle ala Extraction but it turns out it's 1) based on a comic book 2) essentially about superheroes and 3) pitching yet another franchise with one of those shit's-about-to-get-real stingers. Listen, why do I care about the action scenes if all the heroes are immortal and their enemies aren't? This is like The Boys if they'd gotten the powerless underdogs mixed with the murderous Ubermensch. Except it's the kind of immortality that works until the plot doesn't want to anymore. No, it's never explained, the characters are as puzzled out as you are. I don't understand the rave reviews but for we all like Charlize who looks bomb in her Ruby Rose cosplay.
Immortal isn’t the same thing as invulnerable (at least it isn’t supposed to be) and I wish more writers would remember that. Highlander had immortal characters and it’s stakes worked because there was a perma-death state available.
 
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Trunkage

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Ok, in retrospect I was much too harsh on Charlies Angels, and X-Men: Dark Phoenix and even Doom: Annihilation.

In not unrelated news, I've just watched Spiderman Homecoming. Now, of course, taste in movies are subjective, but it was an irredeemably awful film, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. IMHO, of course, but boo! I wonder if as a joke they told Michael Keaton he was in a real film or something, because he's doing a legitimately good job with what he's got, but the everything else was rubbish. This is rubbish, that is rubbish, this is rubbish, that is Michael Keaton. Boo!

Also, I watched Maleficent, starring Angelina Jolie and her excessive cheekbones and horns. Which was quite decent, nice visuals, solid if predictable plot, should have lost the unfunny pixies.
Dark Pheonix is better than Homecoming? That's a no from me
 
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Gordon_4

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Ok, in retrospect I was much too harsh on X-Men: Dark Phoenix

In not unrelated news, I've just watched Spiderman Homecoming. Now, of course, taste in movies are subjective, but it was an irredeemably awful film, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong
Brother whatever you were smoking when you typed that out, you had best start selling because damn.
 
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