Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[hanselthecaretaker]

Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Salma Hayek’s more ampler than ever tits.

Whoever’s seen the first one will probably like this too, considering the first one isn’t all that hard to dislike unless you make the mistake of looking too deeply into these kinds of flicks.

Some good action and shootouts with punchy sound design, and a fair amount of lol’s even watching solo. Jackson and Reynolds are predictable as their usual selves and Hayek is more boisterous than ever. She might’ve over delivered in a way, but it fits the parts at least. She also gives Sofia Vergara a run for her money in defying her age. Speaking of her pair they certainly *ahem* behave like they’re real.

Also I would’ve never guessed who Reynolds’ dad in the movie would be, and they made a good bit of joking about it. Kudos to his character not just being as typical as the other two male leads.

What else. Antonio Banderas plays a cool villain, and it’s interesting to see him with Salma again after their two Desperado outings.


Oh, rating?

I failed my sabbatical, I’m unlicensed and I don’t give a fuck!

 

[Thaluikhain]

Fast and the Furious 7

The US government hires a band of violent international criminals to steal some 1984 Big Brother -esque surveillance device, which will allow them to spy on anyone, anywhere at any time on the planet.

That this is an exceedingly nightmarish thing is never acknowledged by the movie, because Hollywood loves the idea of shadowy government organisations or private corporations having magic machines to oppress the masses.

There's some car stuff in there as well and the word family gets used a bit.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

The Northman

Similar to The Green Knight theres not much story here. The film is a very straight forward tale of viking revenge, based on an old Norse tale that shares similarities with Hamlet.

This was a passion project driven by the star ‎Alexander Skarsgård who had supposedly been working his whole career towards an opportunity to do one for his homeland. Its actually written by some Scandinavian folks and features bjork so you can tell already this is a personal one.

The real draw is the music, acting and atmosphere and boy does it delivery, once it gets going the whole thing is entrapping, escalating towards a revenge of the sith style climax. The media is kind of all over it already, but it definitely has my recommendation.

I wonder if this has anything to do with why his True Blood character also shared the same last name.

 

[gorfias]

Ghost Busters Afterlife on Starz.
This movie was an unbridled "meh". Full of memberberries and and not much else. Gotta tell the truth. I fell asleep about 1 hour into a 2 hour movie. Long story short, after review, looks like it picked up at about 1:26 of a 2 hour movie. I did wake up for the last 1/2 hour and it was a bunch of fun cgi that was still uncompelling.
I never thought this is franchise property. I thought 2 very meh. I got a 6 month deal on Starz and wanted to make some use of it by watching this but I am telling you, feel free to miss this one. C-

 

[Hawki]

Top Gun: Maverick (7/10)

If I was to sum up this movie in two words, it would be "stupid fun." If I had to choose just one of those words...well, I guess "fun" would win, but make no mistake - this film is stupid.

It's arguably worse than stupid in that it's really a form of US propaganda. And I don't mean that in a judgemental sense, you could switch the nationality around to any nation, and it would still remain propaganda. You have the US Navy attacking the uranium base of an unnamed "rogue state" that seems to loosely be based on Russia, where all the mooks of said state are faceless (literally - their visors are kept down), and we're told that "these people are bad, so we have to get in a group of pilots to launch an unprovoked attack on them, led by a guy who's just so awesome he can destroy a hypersonic test plane and still remain in the Navy because of nepotism." The entire runway of the enemy base is destroyed, and no-one seems to care how many of "the bad guys" they've just killed, all that matters is getting their own pilots home safe.

And even from a writing standpoint, the film has stock characters with stock lines, with stock themes which aren't even fully explored. I should make a disclaimer that I've never seen the original Top Gun, and the film clearly expected me to, but even then, I don't think that would make the characters much more in-depth. And there's also the irritation I have that when I consider the real-world parallels here, countries are spending billions, if not trillions of dollars on this kind of insane hardware, when you could improve human wellbeing with just a fraction of that. And I can't help but wonder why, if the US Navy can destroy an insanely well-defended uranium enrichment site in a "rogue state," why they haven't done the same to Iran and North Korea for instance.

Still, all that being said, if I look at this film just on its own merits, as a piece of craft and fighter jet porn, is it fun? Well, yeah. It is. A lot. I mean, even with everything above said, I was still rooting for the characters to succeed, and hoping they made it back alive as the attack run started, because the fighter jet porn is just that awesome, and the music is just that stirring, and the explosions are just that pretty. Far as I'm aware, most, if not all of the footage in this film is of actual fighter jets, so that alone is an incredible feat. Also, I guess this is Tom Cruise, and if I can enjoy Tom Cruise acting as the hand of the CIA in Mission: Impossible, I won't begrudge him blowing shit up in an F-35.

So, yeah. Dumb. But fun.

 

[Gordon_4]

Top Gun: Maverick (7/10)

If I was to sum up this movie in two words, it would be "stupid fun." If I had to choose just one of those words...well, I guess "fun" would win, but make no mistake - this film is stupid.

It's arguably worse than stupid in that it's really a form of US propaganda. And I don't mean that in a judgemental sense, you could switch the nationality around to any nation, and it would still remain propaganda. You have the US Navy attacking the uranium base of an unnamed "rogue state" that seems to loosely be based on Russia, where all the mooks of said state are faceless (literally - their visors are kept down), and we're told that "these people are bad, so we have to get in a group of pilots to launch an unprovoked attack on them, led by a guy who's just so awesome he can destroy a hypersonic test plane and still remain in the Navy because of nepotism." The entire runway of the enemy base is destroyed, and no-one seems to care how many of "the bad guys" they've just killed, all that matters is getting their own pilots home safe.

And even from a writing standpoint, the film has stock characters with stock lines, with stock themes which aren't even fully explored. I should make a disclaimer that I've never seen the original Top Gun, and the film clearly expected me to, but even then, I don't think that would make the characters much more in-depth. And there's also the irritation I have that when I consider the real-world parallels here, countries are spending billions, if not trillions of dollars on this kind of insane hardware, when you could improve human wellbeing with just a fraction of that. And I can't help but wonder why, if the US Navy can destroy an insanely well-defended uranium enrichment site in a "rogue state," why they haven't done the same to Iran and North Korea for instance.

Still, all that being said, if I look at this film just on its own merits, as a piece of craft and fighter jet porn, is it fun? Well, yeah. It is. A lot. I mean, even with everything above said, I was still rooting for the characters to succeed, and hoping they made it back alive as the attack run started, because the fighter jet porn is just that awesome, and the music is just that stirring, and the explosions are just that pretty. Far as I'm aware, most, if not all of the footage in this film is of actual fighter jets, so that alone is an incredible feat. Also, I guess this is Tom Cruise, and if I can enjoy Tom Cruise acting as the hand of the CIA in Mission: Impossible, I won't begrudge him blowing shit up in an F-35.

So, yeah. Dumb. But fun.

Take it from someone who's seen the original more times than they have fingers and toes. You will have the exact same observations about it, with a big dash of homo-eroticism that neither the movie or most of the audience can agree is 80's tongue in cheek or being played straight, so to speak.

But then again, F-14 goes zoom and I kind of stop caring.

 

[Xprimentyl]

Take it from someone who's seen the original more times than they have fingers and toes. You will have the exact same observations about it, with a big dash of homo-eroticism that neither the movie or most of the audience can agree is 80's tongue in cheek or being played straight, so to speak.

But then again, F-14 goes zoom and I kind of stop caring.

As someone who only recently saw the original, and more recently saw the sequel in theaters, this has got to be one of the most accurate take I've read. Bravo, and thank you for putting into words what I could not.

 

[gorfias]

Titanic 1997 on Netflix.

Dunno why I ended up watching this tonight but holy moly this is a fantastic movie. A+

To the kids that haven't seen this, watch it.

 

[BrawlMan]

White House Down - It's Die Hard in the White House! ...The good one. Yeah, I said it. Olympus Has Fallen is not "bad" (still better than Die Hard 5), but I don't care much for movie, nor the franchise as a whole. I do hate the first sequel. Those movies take themselves way too seriously. Especially the second movie. Also, London Has Fallen as by far aged the worse, and the most racists movie in 2014. The only credit I can give OHF is it has some better action and blood because of the R-Rating.

WHD is just more fun to watch and has this self-awareness without being eye rolling and annoying, aside from one scene. The movie is stupid good fun. The weakest elements are the CGI for certain helicopters. Even for 2013, they were not well done and easily spotted. The blu ray just makes them stick out more. Otherwise, good movie, and the one from Emmerich I've enjoyed and re-watched the most.

 

[Thaluikhain]

The F8 of the Furious.

Meh.

Dark City

Distinctly not meh. Go watch it if you haven't, but avoid the opening monologue which spoils everything.

Especially watch this if you pay Delaque in Necromunda, though apparently they predate this film, but only just.

 

[BrawlMan]

Dark City

Distinctly not meh. Go watch it if you haven't, but avoid the opening monologue which spoils everything

You should have gotten the director's cut. Most media stores rarely ever sell the theatrical version anymore. Not counting second hand stores. My brother and I got so lucky with that movie. Because whenever we saw it, it was never at the full beginning. It was usually 7 to 10 minutes in, so the twist wasn't spoiled for us. The director's cut avoids this issue entirely, and does not have the opening monologue.

 

[Xprimentyl]

House of Gucci: Long / Great

A film about the rise and "fall" of the family that established the infamous Gucci brand.

As interesting as the story actually is, it wasn't "+2.5 hours" interesting. Very plodding as key events developed; it easily has an hour of filler, but I guess when you've got that kind of star power, you want your money's worth. And I'm not an expert on accents, but for as many non-Italians there were putting on Italian accents, I'd hope they would have found an expert on accents to get them on the same page. I swear, there were like 4 to 5 different varieties ranging from reasonably believable (kudos to Lady Gaga) to comical (looking at you, Jared Leto; you could easily voice act the next Super Mario game, ending every sentence with a pronounced "-ah.")

Honestly, I'd have preferred a documentary.

 

[Bob_McMillan]

Everything Everywhere All at Once. Thought I'd like it more, but just kinda felt too long. When I was liking it it was great, when it wasn't I was checking the time.

 

[XsjadoBlaydette]

Duel (NowTV)
No not the 70s Spielberg film about the angry trucker who could've been a 3-headed purple alien for all anyone knew, no this is the totally unrelated 2021 film about Karen Gillan being coerced into fighting her own clone to the death while those around her end up preferring her happier clone instead. With the exact same title.

And before that description conjours anything action packed or exciting in your sweet summer child mind, let me crush those assumptious dreams like the monster I no doubt am, as this is a film specifically for depressed people, and we all know depressed people don't want you having fun now, or ever. But also it's a dark comedy kinda? Maybe a little understated satire too? Though mainly depressed. Which makes it perfect for me, just likely not most other people. Even with that in mind, the ending still felt bad inside, perhaps a logical outcome in a film for the depressed, but I was getting surprisingly attached, invested in the exceedingly dry characters. So in summary its offbeat deadpan depression vibe appeals peronally, but can't recommend it to those hoping for a good buzzy time.

 

[Xprimentyl]

Duel (NowTV)
No not the 70s Spielberg film about the angry trucker who could've been a 3-headed purple alien for all anyone knew, no this is the totally unrelated 2021 film about Karen Gillan being coerced into fighting her own clone to the death while those around her end up preferring her happier clone instead. With the exact same title.

And before that description conjours anything action packed or exciting in your sweet summer child mind, let me crush those assumptious dreams like the monster I no doubt am, as this is a film specifically for depressed people, and we all know depressed people don't want you having fun now, or ever. But also it's a dark comedy kinda? Maybe a little understated satire too? Though mainly depressed. Which makes it perfect for me, just likely not most other people. Even with that in mind, the ending still felt bad inside, perhaps a logical outcome in a film for the depressed, but I was getting surprisingly attached, invested in the exceedingly dry characters. So in summary its offbeat deadpan depression vibe appeals peronally, but can't recommend it to those hoping for a good buzzy time.

Now I want to watch it out of morbid curiosity. Reminds me of this commercial:

 

[XsjadoBlaydette]

Now I want to watch it out of morbid curiosity. Reminds me of this commercial:

Hah! Even that ad is fairly upbeat and optimistic. In so many ways. Don't say I didn't warn you if you do take that plunge though! Any present or future unpleasant movie experiences of yours are not legally my responsibility: so say these omnipresent band of singing lawyers following me everywhere I go. Who are real! According to this group of singing therapists who follow me everywhere too, at least.

 

[McElroy]

The Terminator
Still the best. I mean yeah sure if we could tinker with the handful of dodgy special effects just a little bit it would be perfection. Also the Nike ad is just so damn tasteless it becomes funny upon reminder later. Anyway, I appreciate the slow reveal of 101's true nature. Then again I doubt many have seen the movie without knowing Arnie is a machine in it.

 

[Thaluikhain]

The Terminator
Still the best. I mean yeah sure if we could tinker with the handful of dodgy special effects just a little bit it would be perfection.

Eh, can't say I mind the old effect myself, IMHO, it just works. Also, stop motion monsters often look wrong in a way that makes them look more monstrous, IMHO.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Eh, can't say I mind the old effect myself, IMHO, it just works. Also, stop motion monsters often look wrong in a way that makes them look more monstrous, IMHO.

I still find the prosthetic Arnie head charming, but when you think about how this came out two years after The Thing...

The rear-screen projection is still top-tier though.

 

[Agema]

Dead Trigger (2017)

Dolph Lundgren, who one has to say looks pretty good for his age, hauls himself round a zombie apocalypse film based on a computer game. "Based on computer game" is, as we all know, something of a warning sign for a movie (although to be fair, I quite liked the Wing Commander film). Why you'd pick Dead Trigger, I do not know. I never played it so I don't know what it's like, but I do know that it was definintely not a legendary game. That probably also means the licence was incredibly cheap, which is how we get to this bargain basement horror/action film. A bunch of recruits, none of which look convincing and played by people who can't act, are trained and go off on some mission to something something doesn't really matter. So it's mostly just an incoherent set of scenes where people go places and fight zombies (occasionally each other) in boring ways with low quality action and no sense of style, charm and interest, and then it ends. Along the way it makes a feeble stab at evil corporation machinations, and a few spots of sort of Robocop-like dark humour, none of which disguise the fact that this is a total waste of space. Avoid like you'd avoid a zombie infection.