Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[Bartholen]

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, 7/10

Did you remember that at one point Zack Snyder directed a CGI animated fantasy movie about owls? A lot of people don't because it's so at odds with his other output that you'd be forgiven to think he wasn't involved in any way. That, and also the fact that this movie has been largely completely forgotten. Which is a shame, because it's pretty damn good actually. It's once again proof that Snyder is best when he's not involved in the script (Dawn of the Dead ´04), or working off of already existing material (300, Watchmen, this). Despite this being a family film, you could easily make this story R-rated because it's very mature: themes of trauma, war, never meeting your heroes, racial supremacy, essentially neo-nazi grooming, brainwashing, there's a lot this movie packs into roughly 95 minutes. It's very efficiently written, the characters are actually really fun and engaging, there's a lot of interesting worldbuilding, the action scenes are genuinely exciting, there's great cinematography, the visual and especially character design is just outstanding, just overall it's really well executed.

But the biggest problem this movie has is its pacing. This needed to be at least half an hour longer to truly let this story have its proper space, because it's simply too fast. Not rushed, but it feels like very few scenes are actually allowed to breathe and properly convey themselves. Really heavy moments are given maybe a few seconds to sink in, and then whoosh, off we go to the next scene. It's frustrating because you can so clearly see how it's supposed to work and the pieces are all there. There just needed to be a bit longer pauses to ruminate on things and let dialogue sink in. It's also very clearly setting up for a sequel (this is based on a series of books after all) that obviously never happened, which is all the more frustrating because this could have been a great start for a franchise. Given that it grossed only 140 million globally with a budget of 80 million, it's fair to call this a pretty bad flop. Which is kind of a "duh" moment. It's a fantasy movie, but they're all owls. That's a pretty tall order for general audiences.

 

[XsjadoBlaydette]

XsjadoBlaydette's ADHD movie night adventures...

The Hatred - (Prime)
An alright intro, about a high-ranking Nazi officer hiding out in 1950's America as a southern farmer with an almost normal family, but was too fascist not to kill his own daughter through control-freak rage. Mother tries to kill him after finding out, then leaves thinking she succeeded. It all goes downhill from there. Once we're in the present, we're lumbered with 4 irritating girls who just about manage to act as well as daytime channel 5 TV film extras, where even the supposed "smart" one talks about her "smart" passion like a dreamy stoner who only read the first paragraph of the wiki page about it.
Then a little white girl appears, who is legitimately the scariest part of this film due to acting like a smug adult instead of, you know, a child. Then the film attempts its real idea of supernatural "horror" and i turned it off at that point: it was cheap and it was terrible! Maybe if I was in the cinema I would've been too socially awkward to walk out, but this is home streaming bahhhbayy...the exit button is literally centimetres from my bored fingers, I am not wasting my precious time to any more of this bullshit. Nice intro though.

The Matrix Aw...Re...Re...*checks notes* Resurrections? - (NowTV)
Hmm. Ok. This is all rather familiar. But worse. A little bit of not-entirely-annoying fourth wall humour. Christ, Keanu's emotional range hasn't broadened one single bit, has it? Oh no, the action's started. Oh no, it's kinda shit too! Ok, I'm out...sorry! What was that? 20 minutes? Ok, Well, I tried.

Antebellum - (NowTV)
I can't turn the "e" backward, there's just no option to do so. This is already visibly more engaging, shot appealingly and ominously scored with a harrowing atmosphere quickly established, might be able to see this all the way through to the end. Hang on, there's a twist...and, um, wh...what? Memory doesn't work like that, I'm almost certain it doesn't! Why did the friend lady not want the dining table by the wall? I always pick a table by the wall cause it provides me anxiety comforts, yet the lady says to the waiter, while gesturing to a preferred table in the room without any wall, "you know why" and I just don't! Is it so the camera can smoothly orbit the 3 ladies? What is this weirdness? It's an unrelated confusion to the film and the twist, but it's the last unsolved enigma. Back to the plot: Memory doesn't work like that! It would've been a great film if it either explained the twist properly or chose a different method of twist.

The Courier - (Prime}
Benedict Cumberbatch is an average sorta guy hired to do some sneaky stuff around Russians during the time they were being all naughty forgetting to efficiently heat up a pre-cooked war. Based on an apparent true story, looked alright for the few minutes I managed to observe. However, by that time, the cocktail of substances had taken it's toll on me and I fell sound asleep on my phone, likely opening up hundreds of internet tabs and signing up to suspicious websites with these incapacitated and unrestrained nipples, so will try again today.

 

[thebobmaster]

However, by that time, the cocktail of substances had taken it's toll on me and I fell sound asleep on my phone, likely opening up hundreds of internet tabs and signing up to suspicious websites with these incapacitated and unrestrained nipples, so will try again today.

Wait, I'm not the only one that that's happened to? Well, not the signing up on suspicious websites, but I did accidentally download a Bible app on my phone by falling asleep with it in my hands.

 

[Agema]

Archive (2020)

SF drama about some dude building a robot in a remote complex, installing it with the memories of his dead wife. He's on version 3, and more primitive versions 1 & 2, who he keeps around to assist him, get jealous that he's going to love the new one more than them. Then, after 90 minutes of depressed robots and odd occurences and flashbacks to his married life, the movie ends with a twist that's not hard to predict. Are twists overused? I wonder if lots of films think they should have them because reasons, but they'd be better off left alone.

Apparently, this was a victim of the covid cinema shutdown, and was pretty much lost straight to streaming. It's more a thinky SF than an action SF, although it can't resist trying to ramp up the tension at a few points in ways I didn't find that convincing. It does a decent job on a modest budget, it's efficient enough, and it has some reasonably pretty shots of stuff, but it never hits any great peaks either. I suppose we could call it a meditation on love, humanity, and loss, but let's not make it sound like it's that deep. Still, if you like your SF films a little more cerebral than normal, why not give a whirl?

 

[XsjadoBlaydette]

Wait, I'm not the only one that that's happened to? Well, not the signing up on suspicious websites, but I did accidentally download a Bible app on my phone by falling asleep with it in my hands.

That's just a symptom of Jesus trying to wriggle his way into your heart, like toxoplasmosis, the cat brain parasite.

-

The Courier (full length, uninterrupted impression)
It's a competent, dry British political thriller, along the lines of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, so if that appealed then this should too hopefully. Jesse Buckley makes an appearance for good measure, present though not prominent.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I tried to watch Space Jam: A New Legacy. I really fucking tried!

Say what you will about the original movie, at least it had the charming Roger Rabbit-esque animation.

 

[Xprimentyl]

Top Gun: Maverick: Tom Cruise / Great

Tom Cruise plays an apparently ageless flight instructor tasked with training younger pilots for a very specific and dangerous mission.

Tom Cruise. Saw it in the D-Box, so that was fun, but other than that, just Tom Cruise.

Premonition: Huh? / Great

Sandra Bullock plays a wife who learns her husband and father of her two children has died in a car crash, then awakens the next day to find he's not only alive, but has no idea what she's talking about. Then awakes the next day to find he's dead again. Then alive the next day, ad nauseum.

Very confusing, and makes no effort to even being to explain itself, so ends very unsatisfactorily. What they tell you is far less interesting than what they should have.

 

[Dwarvenhobble]

Ever since The Hunger Games, there's been a drive to make SF YA films based on popular books which mostly turn out to be very undistinguished. Maze Runner, Divergent (or whatever it was called), Ready Player One and now this. Hopefully, people will soon realise they suck and stop.

I actually kind of liked the Maze Runner films because of how much the franchise seems to lurch about and change with each entry and really change things up. Also The Hunger Games was only OK and I will happily stand by my take that the only good film in that Franchise was the 2nd Hunger Games film

Also it's YA novels in general because Twilight did well. To add to you list by the author of Twilight is "The Host" which just don't bother, seriously don't bother with it.

 

[Dwarvenhobble]

I saw it, on Netflix or Amazon Prime or something. It's a sort of mash-up of Lord Of The Flies, Resident Evil and Cube. If you want spoilers: adolescents are in some weird place with shifting walls attacked by creatures, hero wakes up and tries to find out what the fuck is going on. Adventures occur. Turns out to be some experimental arena by an evil corporation (called WCKD - seriously!) designed to cure a plague. Any semblance of reason as to how the hell such a ridiculous set-up would help find the cure spectacularly absent. Fucking YA.

My advice is, don't bother. But I remember more about it than I remember of Divergent: that's gone from my memory wholesale.

Oddly they do explain it somewhat

The idea is the production of the antibodies for the plague is linked to adrenaline production and the maze creatures are designed to try and expose the teens to the virus to cause an immune response so they can find who is and who isn't immune. They also changed some things around in the film as apparently in the original books WCKD is actually good because the whole start humanity again on an island of immune people was WCKDs idea in case they couldn't make a workable cure.

 

[Dwarvenhobble]

Archive (2020)

SF drama about some dude building a robot in a remote complex, installing it with the memories of his dead wife. He's on version 3, and more primitive versions 1 & 2, who he keeps around to assist him, get jealous that he's going to love the new one more than them. Then, after 90 minutes of depressed robots and odd occurences and flashbacks to his married life, the movie ends with a twist that's not hard to predict. Are twists overused? I wonder if lots of films think they should have them because reasons, but they'd be better off left alone.

Apparently, this was a victim of the covid cinema shutdown, and was pretty much lost straight to streaming. It's more a thinky SF than an action SF, although it can't resist trying to ramp up the tension at a few points in ways I didn't find that convincing. It does a decent job on a modest budget, it's efficient enough, and it has some reasonably pretty shots of stuff, but it never hits any great peaks either. I suppose we could call it a meditation on love, humanity, and loss, but let's not make it sound like it's that deep. Still, if you like your SF films a little more cerebral than normal, why not give a whirl?

Hey I didn't see it coming, also posed about this film months ago here.

Oh I'd argue it is that deep.

You see the "flashback" sequences actually feed into the whole thing and add to elements of the film which I'm going to have to go into spoilers for.

Ok so the big spoiler is the guy is actually insane the archive with his consciousness being kept alive and as the archive decays he gets less and less contact with the outside world eventually only being able to phone.

The robot's he makes are described as having the mind set of a young child for version 1, a teenager for version 2 and version 3 will like a fully mature adult. In the flashbacks we see his wife had the child and we see him (using the systems connected to the archive) going on walks and being at their daughters birthday parties etc. The film is very clear the robots are based on part of his wife's consciousness but not actually her. Like a child can inherit many traits of a parent. The evolution of the robots mirrors him seeing his daughter grow up and the fact he will never actually see her become her own woman before he dies.


Also as the archive decays you see it being somewhat reflected in the research base where something always seems to be going wrong.

The film is basically about the idea of he conscious mind dealing with the idea of death with the version 3 robot being more about his mind finally starting to embrace death than fight against it.

 

[Agema]

Man Of Tai Chi (2013)

Chinese-American martial arts drama directed by Keanu Reeves, who also plays the bad guy. This is very much in the style of Chinese martial arts, and it's nice to see some real acrobatics where you can see what's going on rather than the fast cut garbage Hollywood often pumps out. Storywise, there basically isn't one. Martial arts guy with temper issues joins illegal fighting ring, is tested and learns honour, getting in lots of fights along the way. Acting is minimal. Ethics appropriate for Chinese government sensibilities is extremely high: Westerners are dishonourable, money-obsessed, soulless, rapacious scum who can be thwarted by upholding good, honest, Chinese traditions - and Chinese traditions can merge seamlessly with modern development for a happy, moral and productive future. Sure, okay then.

I can see why this bombed at the box office. It's not bad, it's just sort of bland: a pastiche of what Chinese cinema can already do much better without having to stick a Hollywood star in for extra attention, whilst never succeeding as a meaningful draw for Western audiences either.

You can watch much better martial arts movies with your time, and I strongly suggest that you do. But if you have run through everything else on offer, you probably won't be that disappointed.

 

[Gordon_4]

Man Of Tai Chi (2013)

Chinese-American martial arts drama directed by Keanu Reeves, who also plays the bad guy. This is very much in the style of Chinese martial arts, and it's nice to see some real acrobatics where you can see what's going on rather than the fast cut garbage Hollywood often pumps out. Storywise, there basically isn't one. Martial arts guy with temper issues joins illegal fighting ring, is tested and learns honour, getting in lots of fights along the way. Acting is minimal. Ethics appropriate for Chinese government sensibilities is extremely high: Westerners are dishonourable, money-obsessed, soulless, rapacious scum who can be thwarted by upholding good, honest, Chinese traditions - and Chinese traditions can merge seamlessly with modern development for a happy, moral and productive future. Sure, okay then.

I can see why this bombed at the box office. It's not bad, it's just sort of bland: a pastiche of what Chinese cinema can already do much better without having to stick a Hollywood star in for extra attention, whilst never succeeding as a meaningful draw for Western audiences either.

You can watch much better martial arts movies with your time, and I strongly suggest that you do. But if you have run through everything else on offer, you probably won't be that disappointed.

My only objection to this movie was it did not make the most of Iko Uwais. His fight was the worst of the lot when he was probably one of the best fighters in the cast.

Also didn’t Keanu make and finance this movie as a favour for Tiger Chen?

 

[Agema]

My only objection to this movie was it did not make the most of Iko Uwais. His fight was the worst of the lot when he was probably one of the best fighters in the cast.

Also didn’t Keanu make and finance this movie as a favour for Tiger Chen?

That's more than I know. My assumption was that it was part of China's cultural expansion by increasing its presence in Hollywood (although it is plainly a Chinese film rather than a Chinese-backed American film), but Keanu doing a friend a favour makes sense. Iko Uwais is indeed heavily underused. But then, he was still quite early career at that point, so may have had relatively little draw for audiences.

 

[Xprimentyl]

The Devil's Own: Alright / Great

Brad Pitt portrays a member of the IRA who travels to the USA to illegally obtain stinger missiles while under the guise of an immigrant seeking employment. An IRA sympathizer arranges for him to stay with Harrison Ford's family who're unaware of his actual intentions.

Meh, I think a little too much was going on for any of it to really have an impact. I've seen worse.

 

[Xprimentyl]

Empire State: Oof / Great

Liam Hemsworth plays Chris Potamitis, an adult failure living with his parents who, after failing to get into the police academy, lands a low-level job as a security guard at an ironically poorly secured armored car company. He's got a loud-mouthed friend (Eddie) who puts shitty ideas in his head. Large sums of cash are stolen, he is involved both willingly and unwillingly, the mob gets involved, cops find out, etc.

Based on a true story, but everyone involved is just so stupid and amateur, it didn't make for a good story, so didn't make for a good movie. They somehow managed to pull down Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to portray the lead detective, but he's featured so little in this film, I wouldn't be surprised if this was a Bowfinger situation, i.e.: they filmed him surreptitiously and spliced him into a few scenes. The whole film felt like a victim of the sunk cost fallacy; it went straight to DVD in 2013, if that's any indication of quality.

 

[Ezekiel]

American Beauty (1999, Sam Mendes)

Rewatch. Been long enough that I wasn't 100 percent sure who would fire the gun as the end came slowly up. This is pretentious. Good, but pretentious. The characters have to act so weird for the story to even work. Funny, though. When it wants to be.

Saboteur (1942, Hitchcock)

It's a traveling thriller in the vein of North by Northwest and 39 Steps, with the protagonist again accompanied by a woman who gets unwillingly wrapped into the whole conspiracy and him again having to use his head to get out of sticky situations. But it's not as good. Hitchcock's love for special effects is here too. I wonder how convincing people found them in 1941. There's a part where a stuntman jumps off a pretty high bridge into a shallow looking river where in my mind I was going, "HOLY SHIT."

Too much contrast. Also, weird choice for a 4K. Much of it doesn't look like OCN. But I get Universal mostly just packed whatever movies they had left into the second Hitchcock volume because they blew their load with all the most beloved ones they owned with the first volume.

 

[Xprimentyl]

Doctor Strange (The first one): Good / Great

Due to the oversaturation of Marvel films I've complained about here countless time, I had no interest in watching this film, but for whatever reason, my gf wants to see the second one in theater, so we watched it to get as up-to-speed as one who's only glanced at about 60% of the tangled MCU films might expect. Turns out it was pretty good. nice balance of humor, action, and spectacle. I had more fun watching this than most of the Marvel films that try to take themselves too seriously.

 

[Ezekiel]

Hate AI-upscaling so much. Hate it, hate it, hate it! Prince and the Revolution Live, one of the best concerts ever shot, got upgraded to Blu-ray. It was filmed on standard def video. Would have happily taken a 720x576 or 720x480 4:3 Blu-ray with bitrate out the ass, like Mylene Farmer en concert. A normal upscale would have been fine too. Instead, they did the machine learning shenanigans. Now it's full of weird ringing around objects and hyper-sharpened faces that look like cardboard. Fuck. I think I'd rather watch the DVD. The DVD looks poor, especially in motion. The bitrate can't keep up, so the picture breaks up. It also wastes a lot of resolution/data on pointless black bars. (720x480 isn't 4:3, but players can squeeze it so anamorphically.) But at least the picture isn't so artificial.

Am I looking at Prince or a GoldenEye 64 face?

Fuck!

 

[Ezekiel]

Which is which? I don't know!

 

[Ezekiel]

So I watched the BD, stopped 23 minutes in, checked the old DVD again and decided the DVD is better. Then I watched it over from the beginning and found I was better able to enjoy it on DVD in stereo. Don't know what goes through these people's heads that makes them think their moving water color paintings (with fake grain) look good.

Spoiler

The Atmos isn't good either. The LFE just sounds like a boombox. The old stereo already sounds thunderous with my headphones.

Watching Prince is amusing. Because he's short, not really that handsome, can't dance that well, but makes up for it all with extreme confidence and spirit. It's like a nerd pretending he's the sexiest guy around. Obviously none of it would matter without musical skill.



Edit: Pretty creepy what it did to his face here:

Spoiler