I have a comic on my comixology account somewhere that is basically the better version of both Robocop 2 and 3. I think it was called Prime Directives.
Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched
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Weapons, 7/10
This is the latest film from Barbarian director Zach Gregger, and it's a horror thriller about the disappearance of an (almost) entire class of schoolchildren and how it affects the town around. The film starts out following Julia Garner's character who's the teacher of the class that disappeared, but things start to take a turn when the film switches perspective to be about Josh Brolin's character instead. It then continues on in this baton pass way, where each new character perspective builds more and more of the puzzle.
I want to say that this film is worth seeing, and specifically seeing without knowing anything more than what I wrote above about it. Going in I had only the cursory idea of the plot, but no clue where it was going or what it was like, which was all to the movie's benefit. Saying anything more would risk my opinion coloring expectations, and I don't want to do that. Suffice to say that the film was nothing like I expected it to be, and for most of it I had no idea where it was going.
This is the latest film from Barbarian director Zach Gregger, and it's a horror thriller about the disappearance of an (almost) entire class of schoolchildren and how it affects the town around. The film starts out following Julia Garner's character who's the teacher of the class that disappeared, but things start to take a turn when the film switches perspective to be about Josh Brolin's character instead. It then continues on in this baton pass way, where each new character perspective builds more and more of the puzzle.
I want to say that this film is worth seeing, and specifically seeing without knowing anything more than what I wrote above about it. Going in I had only the cursory idea of the plot, but no clue where it was going or what it was like, which was all to the movie's benefit. Saying anything more would risk my opinion coloring expectations, and I don't want to do that. Suffice to say that the film was nothing like I expected it to be, and for most of it I had no idea where it was going.
This was a great "down the rabbit hole" movie, and as it went on my mind started thinking up all sorts of possibilities: maybe the whole town's crazy. Maybe one of the characters really did do something monstrous. As the movie got more and more comedic I started thinking that maybe the whole movie was a giant bait and switch, and would morph into a full on comedy by the end. It, much like Barbarian from what I've heard, is a deliberately tonally jarring mix of thriller, horror and comedy, but that jarring effect worked in its favor. It is both hilarious and terrifying when it's trying to be. It is very interestingly shot with plenty of moving tracking shots and interesting camera movement. It is very subtly scary, getting a lot of mileage out of simple, yet ever so unnatural moments. It can also be balls out terrifying.
It's not perfect though. For all its wonder and mystery, I'm already kind of wondering what the point of some scenes was, or how exactly certain things happened. It's a thrill ride in the sense that the moment you stop thinking about it you start to see all the ways it doesn't really make that much sense. The main kid actor just plain sucked compared to how much the role required. This kid should have been screaming, crying and shitting his pants, but stoic silence is all we get. The amount of explanation the film also gives goes maybe a bit overboard, calling a bit into question some of the story logistics. The ending feels both satisfying and not, it's pretty abrupt for the amount of buildup throughout the film
It's not perfect though. For all its wonder and mystery, I'm already kind of wondering what the point of some scenes was, or how exactly certain things happened. It's a thrill ride in the sense that the moment you stop thinking about it you start to see all the ways it doesn't really make that much sense. The main kid actor just plain sucked compared to how much the role required. This kid should have been screaming, crying and shitting his pants, but stoic silence is all we get. The amount of explanation the film also gives goes maybe a bit overboard, calling a bit into question some of the story logistics. The ending feels both satisfying and not, it's pretty abrupt for the amount of buildup throughout the film
Extraction 2
It's 6/10 Netflix porridge with 10/10 action setpieces, starring Chris Hemsworth and my waifu Golshifteh Farahani, although none as thrilling as the first one: a 20 minute """oner""" that follows Hemsworth breaking into prison, having a boss fight by a nasty boiler, breaking out of prison, fighting through a vicious courtyard riot while on fire, driving an SUV down the woods, having a chase/shootout with bikes and dune buggies, boarding a cargo train and then minigunning a whopping two choppers as he fights mercs rappelling in and out of the train and the train barrels to a crash. I kid you not, this goes on non-stop for slightly over 20 minutes and it only gets more awesome by the minute. It's like playing 3 or 4 of the more spectacular chapters of Uncharted in a row. It's all relatively grounded even if none of it looks particularly realistic, but I can't argue with fun.
It's 6/10 Netflix porridge with 10/10 action setpieces, starring Chris Hemsworth and my waifu Golshifteh Farahani, although none as thrilling as the first one: a 20 minute """oner""" that follows Hemsworth breaking into prison, having a boss fight by a nasty boiler, breaking out of prison, fighting through a vicious courtyard riot while on fire, driving an SUV down the woods, having a chase/shootout with bikes and dune buggies, boarding a cargo train and then minigunning a whopping two choppers as he fights mercs rappelling in and out of the train and the train barrels to a crash. I kid you not, this goes on non-stop for slightly over 20 minutes and it only gets more awesome by the minute. It's like playing 3 or 4 of the more spectacular chapters of Uncharted in a row. It's all relatively grounded even if none of it looks particularly realistic, but I can't argue with fun.
A ★★★★★ review of Event Horizon (1997)
"Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see." After his success with Mortal Kombat, Paul Anderson was given quite a few scripts to choose from for his next movie. While two of those offers included the sequel to Mortal Kombat and the original X-Men, Anderson turned down both offers as he...
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This film has to have one of the most refreshing reactions to finding out they’re on a cursed ship:A ★★★★★ review of Event Horizon (1997)
"Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see." After his success with Mortal Kombat, Paul Anderson was given quite a few scripts to choose from for his next movie. While two of those offers included the sequel to Mortal Kombat and the original X-Men, Anderson turned down both offers as he...
*crew sees videos of unspeakable horrors*
Captain Miller: “We’re leaving”
I saw it Sunday night with friends, it was a very entertaining in the moment. It's one of those movies that I feel even if you don't think it's a good movie, you'll enjoy your time watching it. I really did enjoy the tonal shifts; at one point, it felt like an It's Always Sunny episode with the consumption, water bowl, and I'm like are you gonna say milk steak is your favorite steak? I agree with you and Jeremy Jahns about the ending; I watched his review after seeing the movie because it's best to go into these type of movies as blind as possible, though his thumbnail for the review is perfect.
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And his response to Dr. Weir about whether they're really just going to leave the ship. "You can't just leave her!" "I have no intention of leaving her, Doctor. I will take the Lewis and Clark to a safe distance and then I will launch TAC missiles at the Event Horizon until I'm satisfied she's vaporized! Fuck this ship!"
A ★★★★ review of The Faculty (1998)
“You notice anything off today about school?” “I’m from the South, y’all are off.” This film began as a script written in 1990 by David Wechter and Bruce Kimmel, but their initial attempts to find a buyer went nowhere until 1996. After the success of Scream, Miramax Films picked up the rights to...
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Yeah agree, now granted, being the fumiest movie in awhile isn't hard since the bar for comedy is ground floor.
Not as funny as teh original, but shockingly close. Neeson is great in it, good choice for main character. The last third is a bit weaker, but still quite entertaining. Doesn't just redo the joke from the first one, a few callback here and there, but not distracting.
Now I just need coyote VS ACME to be good.
Army of Darkness
I'd seen bits and pieces of it but never the whole thing. It's not a long movie but the big middle part was essentially a Bruce Campbell one man show and while that works fine for most of Evil Dead 2 I think this could've done with more "primitive screwheads" as foils to Ash's antics.
I'd seen bits and pieces of it but never the whole thing. It's not a long movie but the big middle part was essentially a Bruce Campbell one man show and while that works fine for most of Evil Dead 2 I think this could've done with more "primitive screwheads" as foils to Ash's antics.
A ★★★★½ review of Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
“That's downtown L.A. How would you like to have a house up here?” “Well, it would be okay on the three days of the year when you can actually see it!” This film went through a LOT during the script-writing process. Shortly after the first film was released and proven to be a success, producer...
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A ★★½ review of Kick-Ass (2010)
“Comic books had it wrong. It didn’t take trauma, or cosmic rays, or powered rings to make a superhero. Just a perfect combination of optimism and naivety.” The rights to make an adaptation of the Mark Millar comic of the same name were sold before the first issue was even published. While...
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I liked this movie a lot when I first saw (maybe in the theaters?) I wonder how it would hold up now.A ★★½ review of Kick-Ass (2010)
“Comic books had it wrong. It didn’t take trauma, or cosmic rays, or powered rings to make a superhero. Just a perfect combination of optimism and naivety.” The rights to make an adaptation of the Mark Millar comic of the same name were sold before the first issue was even published. While...
Oh, I'm probably not in the majority watching it. I didn't have any nostalgia for it, with this being my first time watching, and I overall just felt like I was in "old man shouting at clouds" mode.
Star Wars (A New Hope)
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
And so my Star Wars nostalgia and catch-up era ends with a rewatch of the original trilogy (I made sure to find the true original versions not the FrankenLucas bullcrap).
To recap this watchathon consisted of:
- Prequel trilogy (1st rewatch since they originally came out)
- Clone Wars cartoons, abridged, first/only watch
- Rebels cartoon, first/only watch
- Obi Wan Kenobi, first/only
- Andor, rewatch
- The first half of the Solo movie (fell asleep halfway through, didn't care enough to finish)
- Rogue One, 2nd rewatch
(I have watched the Mandalorian, Book of Boba Fett, and the sequel trilogy, but that was when they came out, before this current marathon)
Of course I know the original trilogy by heart so all I have to say about it now is how remarkably well it holds up. I cannot fairly judge how much nostalgia or familiarity plays into it- it may be like declaring that my right arm is the best arm there could be or something, I mean what else would I know. This is the gold standard action sci-fi entertainment that all others have had to contend with for my affection.
Watching the modern stuff like Andor/Rogue One right before felt a lot less jarring than I had feared. Credit must go to the production staff and crew of the modern stuff that adhered so closely to the original look and feel I suppose.
Even getting a fun little detail like: at the end of Rogue One, Vader and stormtroopers invade a rebel ship in clear homage to the beginning of the original SW, but in R1 Vader leads the troop and reeks havoc. In the original, he just lets his goons do all the work and he strolls in, which is even more intimidating. Imagine seeing that dude for the first time ever like that!
And at the risk of even more nostalgia glowing- the sheer force of personalities of Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, the enthusiasm of Mark Hammill- none of the many hundreds of other Star Wars comes even close to that. I think the reason Andor works is that they don't even try, they go another way, with intensity and politics and themes, which is cool 'cause it's different.
Han Solo is just so f'n cool. He's the coolest! His smug smile at everything, charging at a gaggle of stormtroopers by himself, laughing off Luke Skywalkers jealous crush pouting about Leia.
As for the other stuff, well Rebels was mostly really solid, though some of the plot stuff at the end was silly but that's ok and I hate its cliffhanger-ish ending (no I'm not going to watch Ahsoka, I just don't care about anything that happens after Darth Vader and the Emperor die, the story is over as far as I'm concerned). But I liked the characters well enough. But honestly no cartoon will ever be as good as movie with for-real humans anyway for me. And I already posted about Clone Wars, which I'm glad I watched for the sake of Anakin and Ahsoka.
It was a trip to see Thrawn! The Heir to the Empire trilogy is the only Star Wars books I ever read, they were such a big deal back in the day. I was in my prime sci-fi / fantasy reading days and devouring all of that kind of crap so reading a compelling SW villain that wasn't an evil jedi and about Han and Leia's budding marriage was awessome at the time. But with the whole Disney / Legends / "canon" thing I just never imagined they'd dredge up Thrawn or any of that stuff. Goes to show what I know. I didn't particularly find him interesting in Rebels unfortunately, all he did was act smug and declare all his failures to be victories, but whatever.
What Rebels did handle real well was the two jedi characters as individuals and their relationships. And in the last two seasons I was pleasantly surprised by how invested I got in Sabine and the mandalorians, given how little I cared about the mandelorians by the second season of their titular show.
But, you know- none of that extra crap adds anything of value to the original trilogy. I was wondering if it would.
Even something like when Obi Wan' let Vader kill him- there was this whole flashback and theme in the Obi Wan show where OW shows Anakin that Anakin's fault is that he wants to win too badly and prove he's better all the time. But Alec Guinness already tells us that in the moment in the movie "if you strike me down I shall become more powerful..." blah blah. So does the prequel add anything? eh.... just another version of the same thing, really.
Certainly the biggest thing is Andor/Rogue1 making us appreciate the insane sacrifices various characters had to make to get those plans to Leia, and even just forming a "Rebel Alliance." But that's also why Andor works as its own story.
How does old Star Wars look to the young people? To me it looks modern, not like an "old" movie. Yeah you can see some of the budget constraints in the original, but my god does Empire still look freaking epic to my old eyes. I think the only thing that stands out as looking "old fashioned' are the droids. C3PO is like something out of Buck Rogers, when people though "robot" meant clanky awkward thing. Just a few years later James Cameron taught us that a robot can look indistinguishable from a person.
I was wondering if the gap in my mind between the quality of the original films and the prequels/sequels/spinoffs were as big as I remembered. No it wasn't- it was even more so.
Here's my fantasy alternate reality of the Star Wars franchise we would get after the original trilogy.
Star Wars Episode 1: The Clone Wars, in which promising young jedi and his slightly older compatriot Obi Wan get sucked into this stupid civil war
Star Wars Episode 2: The Phantom Menace, in which the true nature of the conflict is revealed and we see into the machinations of the impending Sith and Anakin's descent into darkness
Star Wars Episode 3: The Sunset of the Jedi, which is basically just a better version of the episode 3 we got.
Importantly, George Lucas would provide the story outline and some consultation on world building and overall design then f*** off to go swim in his giant pool of gold coins while others write, cast, and direct.
Star Wars: Rebels type TV show, but with real people (my bias of live action over animated). But like the animated, more action and "positive," geared towards younger audiences.
Rogue One as-is and Andor but with 3 or 4 seasons to give what we got in the second season more time to breathe.
And that's it. No sequels. Because the evil emperor dies and the heroes win. Jub-jub.
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
And so my Star Wars nostalgia and catch-up era ends with a rewatch of the original trilogy (I made sure to find the true original versions not the FrankenLucas bullcrap).
To recap this watchathon consisted of:
- Prequel trilogy (1st rewatch since they originally came out)
- Clone Wars cartoons, abridged, first/only watch
- Rebels cartoon, first/only watch
- Obi Wan Kenobi, first/only
- Andor, rewatch
- The first half of the Solo movie (fell asleep halfway through, didn't care enough to finish)
- Rogue One, 2nd rewatch
(I have watched the Mandalorian, Book of Boba Fett, and the sequel trilogy, but that was when they came out, before this current marathon)
Of course I know the original trilogy by heart so all I have to say about it now is how remarkably well it holds up. I cannot fairly judge how much nostalgia or familiarity plays into it- it may be like declaring that my right arm is the best arm there could be or something, I mean what else would I know. This is the gold standard action sci-fi entertainment that all others have had to contend with for my affection.
Watching the modern stuff like Andor/Rogue One right before felt a lot less jarring than I had feared. Credit must go to the production staff and crew of the modern stuff that adhered so closely to the original look and feel I suppose.
Even getting a fun little detail like: at the end of Rogue One, Vader and stormtroopers invade a rebel ship in clear homage to the beginning of the original SW, but in R1 Vader leads the troop and reeks havoc. In the original, he just lets his goons do all the work and he strolls in, which is even more intimidating. Imagine seeing that dude for the first time ever like that!
And at the risk of even more nostalgia glowing- the sheer force of personalities of Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, the enthusiasm of Mark Hammill- none of the many hundreds of other Star Wars comes even close to that. I think the reason Andor works is that they don't even try, they go another way, with intensity and politics and themes, which is cool 'cause it's different.
Han Solo is just so f'n cool. He's the coolest! His smug smile at everything, charging at a gaggle of stormtroopers by himself, laughing off Luke Skywalkers jealous crush pouting about Leia.
As for the other stuff, well Rebels was mostly really solid, though some of the plot stuff at the end was silly but that's ok and I hate its cliffhanger-ish ending (no I'm not going to watch Ahsoka, I just don't care about anything that happens after Darth Vader and the Emperor die, the story is over as far as I'm concerned). But I liked the characters well enough. But honestly no cartoon will ever be as good as movie with for-real humans anyway for me. And I already posted about Clone Wars, which I'm glad I watched for the sake of Anakin and Ahsoka.
It was a trip to see Thrawn! The Heir to the Empire trilogy is the only Star Wars books I ever read, they were such a big deal back in the day. I was in my prime sci-fi / fantasy reading days and devouring all of that kind of crap so reading a compelling SW villain that wasn't an evil jedi and about Han and Leia's budding marriage was awessome at the time. But with the whole Disney / Legends / "canon" thing I just never imagined they'd dredge up Thrawn or any of that stuff. Goes to show what I know. I didn't particularly find him interesting in Rebels unfortunately, all he did was act smug and declare all his failures to be victories, but whatever.
What Rebels did handle real well was the two jedi characters as individuals and their relationships. And in the last two seasons I was pleasantly surprised by how invested I got in Sabine and the mandalorians, given how little I cared about the mandelorians by the second season of their titular show.
But, you know- none of that extra crap adds anything of value to the original trilogy. I was wondering if it would.
Even something like when Obi Wan' let Vader kill him- there was this whole flashback and theme in the Obi Wan show where OW shows Anakin that Anakin's fault is that he wants to win too badly and prove he's better all the time. But Alec Guinness already tells us that in the moment in the movie "if you strike me down I shall become more powerful..." blah blah. So does the prequel add anything? eh.... just another version of the same thing, really.
Certainly the biggest thing is Andor/Rogue1 making us appreciate the insane sacrifices various characters had to make to get those plans to Leia, and even just forming a "Rebel Alliance." But that's also why Andor works as its own story.
How does old Star Wars look to the young people? To me it looks modern, not like an "old" movie. Yeah you can see some of the budget constraints in the original, but my god does Empire still look freaking epic to my old eyes. I think the only thing that stands out as looking "old fashioned' are the droids. C3PO is like something out of Buck Rogers, when people though "robot" meant clanky awkward thing. Just a few years later James Cameron taught us that a robot can look indistinguishable from a person.
I was wondering if the gap in my mind between the quality of the original films and the prequels/sequels/spinoffs were as big as I remembered. No it wasn't- it was even more so.
Here's my fantasy alternate reality of the Star Wars franchise we would get after the original trilogy.
Star Wars Episode 1: The Clone Wars, in which promising young jedi and his slightly older compatriot Obi Wan get sucked into this stupid civil war
Star Wars Episode 2: The Phantom Menace, in which the true nature of the conflict is revealed and we see into the machinations of the impending Sith and Anakin's descent into darkness
Star Wars Episode 3: The Sunset of the Jedi, which is basically just a better version of the episode 3 we got.
Importantly, George Lucas would provide the story outline and some consultation on world building and overall design then f*** off to go swim in his giant pool of gold coins while others write, cast, and direct.
Star Wars: Rebels type TV show, but with real people (my bias of live action over animated). But like the animated, more action and "positive," geared towards younger audiences.
Rogue One as-is and Andor but with 3 or 4 seasons to give what we got in the second season more time to breathe.
And that's it. No sequels. Because the evil emperor dies and the heroes win. Jub-jub.
The Order
The Pacific Northwest's answer to Mississippi Burning. Jude Law is a coleric FBI man hunting Nicholas Hoult's white supremacist outfit. Based on a true story, with the usual caveat about composite characters and dramatic flourishes.
Mississippi Burning it is not, but it's a very good send-up of that kind of movie, angry about the ugly side of things. It's directed by Justin Kurzel and produced by Jeremy Saulnier, who definitely has a type. I was just thinking the movie looked like his kind of moody, grimy slow burn. Gasped when I saw him credited at the end.
The Pacific Northwest's answer to Mississippi Burning. Jude Law is a coleric FBI man hunting Nicholas Hoult's white supremacist outfit. Based on a true story, with the usual caveat about composite characters and dramatic flourishes.
Mississippi Burning it is not, but it's a very good send-up of that kind of movie, angry about the ugly side of things. It's directed by Justin Kurzel and produced by Jeremy Saulnier, who definitely has a type. I was just thinking the movie looked like his kind of moody, grimy slow burn. Gasped when I saw him credited at the end.
A ★★★★ review of Happy Death Day (2017)
“If that’s the way that you refer to girls, you and your hand are going to have a very lasting relationship.” The initial concept of this film dates back to 2007, when Scott Lobdell wrote a script then titled Half to Death for Rogue Pictures under producer Michael Bay and to be directed by Antti...
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Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
I went into this film expecting it to either be basically fine, or a hilarious trainwreck. What I wasn't expecting was for the film to actually be really enjoyable. The film is genuinely very funny, and I was laughing along with it a lot of the time, not just at it whenever it did something stupid. And while it does do a couple of stupid things, there's nothing that totally took me out of the experience. I'd rate it similarly to The Super Mario Bros Movie (2023): it won't blow anyone away (except by comparison to expectations), but it's got good visuals, likeable characters, and doesn't teach the kids anything it shouldn't. You can do a hell of a lot worse than that.
And from what I've heard, the sequels are even better. Looking forward to getting around to those.
I went into this film expecting it to either be basically fine, or a hilarious trainwreck. What I wasn't expecting was for the film to actually be really enjoyable. The film is genuinely very funny, and I was laughing along with it a lot of the time, not just at it whenever it did something stupid. And while it does do a couple of stupid things, there's nothing that totally took me out of the experience. I'd rate it similarly to The Super Mario Bros Movie (2023): it won't blow anyone away (except by comparison to expectations), but it's got good visuals, likeable characters, and doesn't teach the kids anything it shouldn't. You can do a hell of a lot worse than that.
And from what I've heard, the sequels are even better. Looking forward to getting around to those.
I watched Toy Story again for the first time in a very long while, and it surprised me how... unfriendly this movie is. Not mean, just willing to not play nice, excuse the pun. The toys aren't banded together through frienship, but through Andy owning them and them vying for his attention. There's a scene of the other toys threatening to hang Woody, showing a noose on the Etch a Sketch, after finding out he knocked Buzz out the window. And that's an actual brand for a childrens toy in a kids movie showing a noose to hang someone. Imagine Disney having the guts to do something like that now, or any brand being okay with someone even stubbing their toe while having their logo on a T-shirt.
Pixar has this image of being child friendly and trying to get people all teary-eyed, but their first feature film really has none of that. It was kinda refreshing.
Pixar has this image of being child friendly and trying to get people all teary-eyed, but their first feature film really has none of that. It was kinda refreshing.
You should look up the Black Friday cut of Toy Story that nearly got it cancelled.