Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

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Bedinsis

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May 29, 2014
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The Housemaid - a thriller with very pretty people.

Premise: down-on-her-luck Millie is hired to serve as a housemaid in upstate New York for a family of three. One realizes quite quickly that there is something... off about the mother. Millie is treated badly but her situation forces her to continue, even though you can just feel that something bad will eventually happen. Which it does.

It's a movie with thrills and plot twists that prefer not to spoil, and like a detective film the film reveals nuggets of information through out that is there to keep the viewer guessing of what is really going on, until it lays all the cards on the table in a flashback scene that connects everything, and if the movie had ended at that point I would have called it a good movie overall. It however did not end there. Someone in the production thought the movie needed a climax with a capital C, and the way they got there felt like it wasn't firmly established. Basically a character says "Here's what I will do." and it felt logical and in-character, and another character replies "But what about [this thing]". And the first character acts as if [this thing] is important to them even though I did not think that was established by the movie. Also, once the information of the flashback is revealed to the audience it felt like a central character that was not privy to the information within still acted as if they had seen that flashback. And post climax a character asks the really relevant quesiton "How will you handle [this hurdle]?" and it is handled in a way that seemed textbook deus ex machina.

I doubt I'd be interested in rewatching it.
 
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thebobmaster

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thebobmaster

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thebobmaster

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thebobmaster

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Johnny Novgorod

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Chiming in on this a bit late, but JKR kind of dug her own grave on that one when she started introducing political elements into the Harry Potter narrative. The Chosen One stopping the Dark Lord in a world of wizards and magic is all well and good, but once you start trying to ground a world like that in real-world politics, you've basically shot your worldbuilding in the back of the head. Calling attention to your world mechanics like that only forces your audience to start looking at it more carefully, which then inevitably (or in the case of HP, immediately) collapses like a house of cards. I think the only reason it took so long for people to realize is that HP was a generation-defining literary and cinematic phenomenon, and its main audience were kids growing up alongside it. But as perhaps best illustrated by the Fantas(s)tic Beasts films having to answer the question of "Why didn't wizards stop the Holocaust?", JK's worlbuilding is complete nonsense that cannot sustain a narrative outside the main HP books, let alone one aimed at an adult audience. It's about as functional as trying to do a Ken Loach film in the He-Man universe.
The books were fine while they centered the action in and around the whimsy of a magic boarding school and kept a child's point of view (Hagrid's feet "are the size of baby dolphins", for crying out loud). Then either Rowling became tired of it, or feared her growing audience would, and decided she was somehow equipped to grow her world beyond the point it felt special or made sense. Hogwarts works on Chocolate Factory rules and that's fine, but the society, history, economy and government body that surrounds it is mad libs level of embarrassing nonsense.
 
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thebobmaster

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thebobmaster

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thebobmaster

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Johnny Novgorod

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Novocaine

High concept action flick about a dude who can power through a lot of punishment because a medical condition renders him immune to pain. This by itself doesn't mean much in a genre fueled by taking as many liberties with the pain threshold as it fancies, so the movie contrives a variety of gnarly scenarios for Mr. N. Caine to repurpose his body as a human pincushion. The room agreed it's on that very pleasant Crank/Upgrade wavelength.
 
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Thaluikhain

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I remember an OtT car explosion that takes out a helicopter flying above it in this film.

Also, the bad guy says "Well, if you kill me, I'll come back from the dead to get revenge as well"...which...raises questions, actually.
 
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Jun 11, 2023
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Okay, time to commit some heresy. Get your Bolters ready folks.

E.T. The Extra Terrestrial - 5/10

If you watch this movie for any reason, it should be for the extremely excellent technical work. All aspects of this film on that score are excellent. Framing, lighting, shot composition, staging etc you name it, its brilliant. This movie's technical acumen should be taught in film school (assuming of course it isn't already) because it was like being given lessons.

As a movie however, I cannot fathom for the life of me what the fuck this movie did that it was able to become the biggest movie Steven Spielberg would do money wise that didn't involve dinosaurs. Its boring. Like the movie is flat out dull to watch as a piece of entertainment. Can someone please explain it for my clearly smoothbrained self what the fuck is so enrapturing about this movie?
A friendly alien and kid? People ate that shite up. Hell I think if Spielberg’s name was on Short Circuit he could’ve done the same for that shitty robot.


The Running Man 2025

A good modern retelling, with just enough homage/Easter eggs and better use of source material. Arnold was the only real draw for the 1987 flick, but Glen at least had a movie behind his own solid effort. I recall (no pun) playing an old handheld game back in the 90’s for Total Recall, but also think the general theme of this IP would’ve made a good dlc for Cyberpunk: 2077 if nothing else.
 
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Gordon_4

The Big Engine
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Apr 3, 2020
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A friendly alien and kid? People ate that shite up. Hell I think if Spielberg’s name was on Short Circuit he could’ve done the same for that shitty robot.


The Running Man 2025

A good modern retelling, with just enough homage/Easter eggs and better use of source material. Arnold was the only real draw for the 1987 flick, but Glen at least had a movie behind his own solid effort. I recall (no pun) playing an old handheld game back in the 90’s for Total Recall, but also think the general theme of this IP would’ve made a good dlc for Cyberpunk: 2077 if nothing else.
I’ll not stand for such libellous attacks on Johnny 5. That robot was neither little nor shitty. And the first movie is at least a very well done bit of urban sci-fi.
 
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thebobmaster

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I remember an OtT car explosion that takes out a helicopter flying above it in this film.

Also, the bad guy says "Well, if you kill me, I'll come back from the dead to get revenge as well"...which...raises questions, actually.
That helicopter explosion looked godawful, and the scene in general was over-the-top even by action movie standards. What caused that explosion? Alex igniting a gasoline trail/leak from the car he crashed...with the cigarette lighter/igniter thing from the dashboard.

It did raise some questions, but the villain was basically onscreen for about 5-10 minutes total, and most of that was him ranting about how evil Alex actually was and deflecting blame, so it didn't really have the implications that a decent movie might have considered.
 
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thebobmaster

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thebobmaster

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Thaluikhain

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"Why, oh why didn't he take the blue pen?" Should that be pill?

Truly random aside, the only reason I know about this film is because it's mentioned in Comeback Tour by Kim Newman, which I bought because it had a cool picture of Elvis with a machine pistol on the cover. And it was cheap enough to be worth buying just for that. Very good book, though,I got the rest of the series after that, but they weren't as good.
 
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thebobmaster

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"Why, oh why didn't he take the blue pen?" Should that be pill?

Truly random aside, the only reason I know about this film is because it's mentioned in Comeback Tour by Kim Newman, which I bought because it had a cool picture of Elvis with a machine pistol on the cover. And it was cheap enough to be worth buying just for that. Very good book, though,I got the rest of the series after that, but they weren't as good.
It was a Matrix reference, because Joe Pantoliano, but I swapped out pill for pen because signing contract.
 
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PsychedelicDiamond

Wild at Heart and weird on top
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Jan 30, 2011
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Return to Silent Hill (2026)

Back when I wrote a review for Silent Hill Revelations I, rhetorically, asked why the Silent Hill movies went directly from an adaptation of the first game to an adaptation of the third game while skipping the second one. Back then I suggested that was because sometimes god has mercy on us. Return to Silent Hill is one of many pieces of evidence to suggest that by now, he might have abandoned us for good.

All polemics aside, though, Return to Silent Hill is, indeed, a loose adaptation of Silent Hill 2, originally released in 2002 and remade, very competently, in 2024. Silent Hill 2 is widely held to have one of the best stories in any video game, period. A gothic tale of young widower James Sunderland taking on an orphic journey to the titular lakeside town where he and his wife had spent their honeymoon, finding it haunted by monsters and demons representing his own repressed guilt. I don't necessarily think of it as having the best story in the medium, or even really in its own series, but I will definitely say it's probably pretty high up there. Adapting it to film is french director Christophe Gans who had previously adapted Silent Hill 1 in 2006, a movie that is widely considered to be one of the better video game adaptations for reasons mostly incomprehensible to me.

About two years ago, when I played Bloober Teams remake of Silent Hill 2 I was, sometimes, wondering how a version less slavishly devoted to the original, a version more eager to get weird with it might have looked. Of course I did that with the knowledge that when, say, the remakes of Final Fantasy 7 "get weird with it", they get to do that because they're made by most of the creative team behind the original game applying decades worth of hindsight to the original text and reflecting on their own work and its cultural impact. It's not that nothing good can't possibly come out of a creator making someone elses work his own, I'd never say that, but I will say that Return to Silent Hill certainly doesn't make an argument for it.

RTSH takes the broad strokes of Silent Hill 2. There is a guy named James, played by Jeremy Irvine. He meets a girl named Mary, played by Hannah Emilie Anderson. They start a relationship. They're not together anymore. He receives a letter from her and goes to the town of Silent Hill, where, in this version, they lived together. He finds it turned into a sort of foggy purgatory overrun by demonic creatures. He goes on a journey through it to learn the truth about Mary and himself. An attempt is made to remix and reframe the story beats of the source material. The movie turns James into a tortured artist. The movie adds an evil, demon worshipping cult again, which is an angle the Silent Hill movies just can't let go off and which factors heavily into Mary's new backstory. Supporting characters like Angela and Laura now explicitly represent aspects of Mary. And the reveals are handled very differently, none for the better.

It tells a story of 8 hours in a time frame of under 2 hours and somehow felt it wise to still overcomplicate it, to a point where the attempts at increased complexity combined with the movies breathless pacing add up to something that won't make sense to people familiar with the game and will be impossible to follow for those who aren't. All of which makes RTSH feel less like a properly developed narrative and more like a highlight reel of surrealist setpieces that, I imagine, are about what someone who's never seen a David Lynch movie thinks David Lynch movies are like. It's just the fact that the movies plot is the "And then..." method of writing, taking to its absolute extreme, where James gets pushed from location to location and from setpiece to setpiece, being given barely more time to do anything other than run and grunt, any sort of arc being practically imperceptible. Well meaning but sparse and underwritten flashback sequences elaborating on his and Mary's relationship doing little to alleviate that problem, although the fact that neither of the actors playing them seem to be working very hard doesn't help. Matter of fact, the best performance in this might be the kid that plays Laura who, hey, also voiced her in the games remake. Also, this might be petty, but indulge me for a moment: Is it just me or do more and more productions these days just feature a psychotherapist among their cast, just so they can have an excuse to bluntly exposit on a characters mental state? I feel like I've been seeing that more and more often, recently.

Writing aside, the movie's also just not well produced. I'm cutting them some slack for obviously working on a low budget but it has that characteristic smeary, fuzzy low budget CGI look that so many European fantasy productions are settled with and it's just not good enough at stylization to make it work. It's not that the monster and environmental designs are necessarily bad, although they mostly miss the mark of the games art direction, but it's that the visual style makes all of it look like a 00's music video. I would have liked to be able to say that I could appreciate the movie at least as an artistic parade of surreal sequences but frankly, the movies direction is just way too loud and obnoxious for that. So despite its best efforts it certainly can't pass as an arthouse production. RTSH goes out of its way to pay visual homage to films like Rosemary's Baby, The Shining and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, but it's never more than this cheap, trashy fastfood simulacrum of an arthouse horror movie. Limp Bizkit sampling the Suspiria soundtrack.

Let me be honest here, I really, really didn't enjoy this. It's not a good adaptation of Silent Hill 2. It's not a good original movie inspired by Silent Hill 2. It doesn't look good. It doesn't sound good. It's not written well or even comprehensibly. I don't think Christophe Gans was a good pick to direct the first Silent Hill movie nor was it a good idea to let him direct another one. Silent Hill is a setting with almost unlimited potential and yet all either of its adaptations ever managed to produce are worse versions of the games. Just fucking let a good director tell their own story in the Silent Hill universe. There's no reason to continuously try, and fail, to adapt the games. There is a reason people say that sort of behavior is the definition of insanity. This is probably the worst out of the three Silent Hill movies, simply on the virtue that at least Revelations occasionally managed to be unintentionally funny. If they ever make another one, I hope they rethink their approach. Or maybe they'll just drag Christophe Gans back in five years to adapt fucking Silent Hill 4: The Room, what do I know.
 
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