Disney Is Stupid, And You're Dumb

Firefilm

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Disney Is Stupid, And You're Dumb

Some classic Disney films don't quite live up to their status.

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Mr.PlanetEater

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Very well written article, I'm actually starting to enjoy these more than the actual show--bah just kidding they're both great. Promise me you'll record yourself singing said show tunes Chris. PROMISE ME. D:<
 

Bill Nye the Zombie

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I like the music in Pocahontas. But yeah, beyond that it hurts my brain as an APUSH student. As for best? Hard to say. My list would go something like:

1. Lion King/Aladdin/The Sword in the Stone
2. Robin Hood/ The Fox and the Hound
3. Lady and the Tramp
4. Mulan/Tarzan
5. Atlantis/101 Dalmatians/Hercules
 

Mortamus

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May 18, 2012
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Absolutely loved it. I think alot of viewers could probably stand to read some of the earlier articles in which I think Dan made arguements about these kind of comments and why they are silly. The show isn't about a definitive "THIS IS THE BEST RAAAAWR" but a debate between two friends about which particular one THEY like more and why THEY feel it is the better of the two. It's not supposed to be an end-to-all-arguements discussion. It's supposed to be entertainment.

IN OTHER NEWS

I would personally love to hear Chris sing like Baloo on the next Media Sandwich. I may be one of the few requestees at the Expo.

In the words of Hades:
"We dance, we smooch, we carry on, we all go home happy. Come on, what'dya say?"
 

ritchards

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So next is best Pixar movie? Yeah, good luck with that...

(As for those Disney movies mentioned, I've only ever seen Mulan, which I liked a lot.)

EDIT: (No wait, I tell a lie. I did see The Lion King, but didn't like it.)
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
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Hey, as a 'teh Lion King is da best' person, I don't say it because 'Hamlet with lions!', but largely because of Hans Mutherfuckin' Zimmer.


He laughs at your inferiority.
 

Mr Dizazta

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Why does everyone seem to forget The Great Mouse Detective. The movie is just brilliant and has probably my favorite Vincent Price role.
 

Namechangeday

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As much as I would like to make a list of my favorite Disney movies, I don't remember most of the ones I watched as a kid.
I thought last week's episode was fun by the way cause it took me back to those times I watched them.
 

Kermi

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I'd actually say Mulan is my favourite, followed by Aladdin. I never really got into Lion King or Little Mermaid. I've seen Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and 101 Dalmations, but over 20 years ago so I don't really have an opinion on them. I hate Pocahontas. I've never seen Hunchback, Beauty & the Beast, Robin Hood or a bunch of those older ones. I think I saw Sword in the Stone once but I think I only keep seeing clips of it, so I remember the bit where Arthur draws the sword and the duel between Merlin and Morgana but I have no idea if there's more to it than that. I saw Emperor's New Groove once and I don't remember liking it much but maybe I wasn't paying attention because I really don't remember it clearly.
 

minuialear

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Jerry Pendleton said:
Why does everyone seem to forget The Great Mouse Detective. The movie is just brilliant and has probably my favorite Vincent Price role.
Seconded. That movie was way darker than most of the other movies that were mentioned, while having great characters, a good story, and not having to rely on catchy musical numbers to hold people's attention. Still my favorite Disney movie ever made.
 

Vault101

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I think hunchback was an amazing film....but cripples by its own need to apeal to kids...an example of the animation ghetto
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the time period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
 

Adeptus Aspartem

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I like Disney more because of the awesome cartoons they produce in that cesspool called television.
If i'd have to chose a film it be either the jungle book or aladdin. Also both had a great tv-series afterwards - ok the jungle books has an absurd amount of rip-offs/remakes.

Also i really liked The Rescuers.
 

Firefilm

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LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
 

octafish

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I'm sorry but there was only one Disney film with Louis Prima...so The Jungle Book must win.
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
Fine. I meant the cultures (from which the stories originated) were extremely sexist.

I mean, 1706? West and South Asia? Come on.
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Adeptus Aspartem said:
I like Disney more because of the awesome cartoons they produce in that cesspool called television.
If i'd have to chose a film it be either the jungle book or aladdin. Also both had a great tv-series afterwards - ok the jungle books has an absurd amount of rip-offs/remakes.

Also i really liked The Rescuers.
*Tomorrow is another day.*
 

Firefilm

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LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Mar 18, 2012
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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
 

Firefilm

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LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
waitwut

No, seriously... wut? I'm going to need to look into this. I can't believe this is true until I see it. My brain just won't allow it.
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
waitwut

No, seriously... wut? I'm going to need to look into this. I can't believe this is true until I see it. My brain just won't allow it.
No, it was in an Internet Cafe. I nearly punched them.
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
waitwut

No, seriously... wut? I'm going to need to look into this. I can't believe this is true until I see it. My brain just won't allow it.
That's just one thing though, nearly everything causes me to fume with rage. Someone told me that "rapists are doing their victims a favour in the long run."

You know? Because ALL rape victims become strong women, right? -_-
 

Calatar

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Here are some movies you MAY think have been missed

  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
    Pinocchio
    Fantasia
    Dumbo
    Bambi
    Saludos Amigos
    The Three Caballeros
    Make Mine Music
    Fun and Fancy Free
    Melody Time
    The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
    Cinderella
    Alice in Wonderland
    Peter Pan
    Lady and the Tramp
    Sleeping Beauty
    One Hundred and One Dalmatians
    The Sword in the Stone
    The Jungle Book
    The Aristocats
    Robin Hood
    The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
    The Rescuers
    The Fox and the Hound
    The Black Cauldron
    The Great Mouse Detective
    Oliver & Company
    The Little Mermaid
    The Rescuers Down Under
    Beauty and the Beast
    Aladdin
    The Lion King
    Pocahontas
    The Hunchback of Notre Dame
    Hercules
    Mulan
    Tarzan
    Fantasia 2000
    Dinosaur
    The Emperor's New Groove
    Atlantis: The Lost Empire
    Lilo & Stitch
    Treasure Planet
    Brother Bear
    Home on the Range
    Chicken Little
    Meet the Robinsons
    Bolt
    The Princess and the Frog
    Tangled
    Winnie the Pooh
Personally, I vote Rescuers Down Under, Great Mouse Detective, and Fantasia.
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
waitwut

No, seriously... wut? I'm going to need to look into this. I can't believe this is true until I see it. My brain just won't allow it.
Ok fine, you asked for it.

https://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&safe=off&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=mothers+breastfeeding+paedophiles&oq=mothers+breastfeeding+paedophiles&gs_l=hp.3...535.7695.0.7754.33.25.0.8.8.0.199.2429.16j8.24.0...0.0...1c.5jNue3kMtoE&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&fp=3f2d9d64fceb416d&biw=1803&bih=815
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
waitwut

No, seriously... wut? I'm going to need to look into this. I can't believe this is true until I see it. My brain just won't allow it.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/july-2010-babies/archives/article-women-who-breastfeed-are-pedophiles.html

And this.
 

Firefilm

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LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
waitwut

No, seriously... wut? I'm going to need to look into this. I can't believe this is true until I see it. My brain just won't allow it.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/july-2010-babies/archives/article-women-who-breastfeed-are-pedophiles.html

And this.
*Scrolls through the site*

...

*Smashes head against wall to forget ever reading it*

Much better.
 

LookAtYouHacker

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Mar 18, 2012
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Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Boudica said:
LookAtYouHacker said:
Aladdin sexist? No shit, Sherlock. -_-

The story is loosely adapted from the Tales Of The Arabian Nights. During the period it was written, feminism didn't even exist.
Lol. Feminism has existed for as long as we've had a structured society. The term simply implies a form of gender aware social movement.
I've been infuriated by an offensive comment (regarding breast-feeding) all day. The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."

If I was previously interpreted as obnoxious, now you know why.
Out of curiosity, what was the comment?
The user stated "all mothers who breastfeed are paedophiles."
waitwut

No, seriously... wut? I'm going to need to look into this. I can't believe this is true until I see it. My brain just won't allow it.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/july-2010-babies/archives/article-women-who-breastfeed-are-pedophiles.html

And this.
*Scrolls through the site*

...

*Smashes head against wall to forget ever reading it*

Much better.
Yeah... I literally smash furniture sometimes. Call me immature, but sometimes I just can't help myself. My curiosity overwhelms me, and I come across things like this. *Sigh*
 

likalaruku

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Can't disagree with the varying tastes, & I'll bet no one shares my top 10.

*3 Caballeros: Cute music & I'm pretty damn sure the animators were high when they made it.
*Bedknobs & Broomsticks, because their pre-70s movies were good.
*Fantasia: Could have done without that Mickey the Wizard part though.
*Beauty & the Beast: Woman does not instantly fall head over heals for guy. Gestan doesn't exist outside of the Disney version & he was a massive improvident to the story, whereas all their other adaptations take away & water down the original story.
*Make Mine Music: Very artistic, good music.
*Nightmare Before Christmas: The most un-Disney thing Disney ever did.
*Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Back when Disney knew that adult humor would go right over kid's heads.
*The Great Mouse Detective: Because anything Vincent Price touches becomes gold, no matter how camp it is.
*Hunchback of Notre Dame: Gargoyles were unnecessary, but Frolo & Esmerelda were unforgettable.
*Gargoyles pilot: The first so-many episodes of the TV series were actually a movie cut into segments.


Least favorite, because Japan did it better:

*Swan Princess: The Swan Lake anime follows the book & plays Tchaikovsky. Okay, so it's not technically a Disney movie, but the film is directed by a former Disney animation director Richard Rich & it was done in their style intentionally.
*Lion King: The Jungle Emperor Leo anime is what TLK is really ripping off, & JEL had a fine blend of camp & violence that American parents wouldn't have been thrilled with.
*The Little Mermaid: Original moral is left intact & the ending will actually make children cry.
*Pinocchio: Disney gave it a movie, Japan gave it a TV series.
*Anything not done in cell animation or stop-motion, because f**k CGI.
 

TimeLord

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P.S. If you see me at the Escapist Expo and request show tunes from The Jungle Book, yes, you will get them.
You will regret those words Chris ;)
 

Sovereignty

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I truly didn't like Beauty and the Beast. Not sure why, but even when a few years back a girlfriend tried to get me to watch it with her... I was just bored the whole time. Perhaps it was too predictable (I know all Disney movies are btw)

Something just never felt right or natural in it. It was like some kind of story I'd heard a bajillion times, except it was told in a horribly annoying voice, by ridiculously eccentric characters.

I'm glad the Hunchback got some love though. That movie was awesome.

Would El Dorado have counted as one of those animated movies? Did Disney even make it?

It's one of the few ones that always pops into my head when people talk about disney animated movies... I'm really not sure why.
 

Ferrious

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As my personal favourite Disney film (ARGH! This is like trying to rate Pixar films!) I will say that anyone who hasn't seen Lilo and Stitch is doing themselves a disservice. It's funny and cute but also surprisingly dark and affecting. Seriously, try it.
 

mronoc

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The Little Mermaid isn't any dumber than any of those other movies, really, just about every Disney film (there's at least one exception in Emperor's New Groove) is broad and thematically incoherent (Ariel gets her happy ending by making a deal with the devil, Bell has Stockholm Syndrome, Foxes and Hounds can learn to not kill each other but can't really be friends, and monarchy is a totally viable system of government). Really, any perceived "dumbness" in The Little Mermaid probably comes from the fact that, unlike a lot of other Disney films, it at least doesn't have a tone that pretends to be saying more than it does.

Oh, and the correct answer is "Tangled."
 

trooper6

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Wow, it is clear that these No Right Explanation guys are way younger than I...because *all* of their top 10 films are from the new generation of Disney films. Which was a generation that didn't even register in my brain...though I did see Mulan. But no Sleeping Beauty, Jungle Book...etc.

Product of its time, indeed! It isn't just Disney films that are products of their time, but also No Right Explanation (actually everything this so, you know)

Not a critique, just an observation!

But one that makes me feel old.
 

Brutal Peanut

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I don't really have favorite Disney movies lists. I just know I like a majority of them, so...*raspberry*
 

BlindChance

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I'm just a huge Tangled and am a little sad no-one even mentioned it. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right. Tangled was fantastic; funny, charming, and had substance.

But yes, Beauty and the Beast is probably the best one.
 

Therumancer

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When I see things like this the first thought that comes to my mind is that the contenders are by and large too recent, we're looking at a competition that is largely pitting the animated movies of Generation X against each other, with nods to Generation Y's "Pixar" movies like Toy Story. The problem with this of course is that it overlooks things like "Snow White" and "Cinderella" which arguably started it all, set high bars for animation for pretty much forever, and most importantly have been watched and embraced by pretty much every generation since their release, in some cases setting sales records when they have been held back from public release and then re-released on video or in theaters. I'd say that while it's POSSIBLE that someone hasn't seen these movies, I'd imagine far more people have seen them and liked them than any of the modern contenders, especially if you start thinking globally.

When it comes down to things like the best Disney villain, consider that when all all the bad folks gather around at night (Disney crossovers are frequent) it's not Jim Walker or Jafar they look to for leadership, it's inevitably Malificent , the evil queen, a character that is both instantly recognized and absolutly oozes dark charisma, not to mention having been the bearer of one of the most dramatic beat downs to Disney heroes (and part of what is their best over all fight scene/confrontation).

Now, don't misunderstand this, I'm not actually breaking this down to a personal favorite, but saying there are some objective criteria that can be used. If your going to argue "best" at this time you need to look at classic disney, give it a few more generations and if Aladdin, Beauty and The Beast, or some of the works of Pixar are still around and being viewed the same way, then they would be due for consideration.

In closing, other than a certain evil Queen from one movie, how many of the Seven Dwarves would you recognize? The answer might surprise you, and I think you'll get more recognition from that, than Timon and Pumbaa no matter how praised "The Lion King" might be, at least for the moment. None of these works have endured long enough to be a true, multi-generational global phenomena.

So to throw my hat into the ring, instead of analyzing the match up, and talking about how it's subjective, you might want to kind of consider than the real match up probably should have been "Cinderella" against "Snow White".
 

Sharayah Pranger

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BlindChance said:
I'm just a huge Tangled and am a little sad no-one even mentioned it. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right. Tangled was fantastic; funny, charming, and had substance.
If it will make you feel better, when I watched Tangled with Chris, one of us was very teary-eyed and it wasn't me.
 

BlindChance

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Sharayah Pranger said:
If it will make you feel better, when I watched Tangled with Chris, one of us was very teary-eyed and it wasn't me.
... it does, actually. :D
 

Arnoxthe1

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Hm. Only one person in this entire thread has mentioned Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

Call me prejudiced (and I am) but if a movie has singing in it, it instantly loses massive points in my book. I'm sorry, but I grew up kinda fast. No, I'm not trying to be "hardcore".

Seriously, you just can't beat magical god crystals, mercenaries, and ancient civilizations. And did I mention no singing?
 

Entitled

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My two favorites are Lion king and Beauty and the Beast.

The Lion King is just plain EPIC, and not in the slang sense, but it really feels like an ancient heroic epic. It is partially Hamlet, but Hamlet itself is part of a much older tale, that they both retold. Though it's also epic in the slang meaning of the world. The music during the stampade was actually chanting a reworked version of Dies Irae. How much more epic can you be than that? Not to mention the slow-mo lion-duel at the finale.

The Beauty and the Beast is just plain nerd-bait, with the "Belle" song, and the "Beauty and the Beast" song just beautiful. It's refrain also has a sense of epicness, "tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme", but in a more personal emotional sense. "Bittersweet and strange,
Finding you can change, Learning you were wrong".
 

Bara_no_Hime

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Kyle said:
First off, Chris should have mentioned (when we were talking about the antagonists) that Jafar offered more as a villain. He actually manages to win; exile for Aladdin, slavery for Genie, and most likely rape and torture for Jasmine.
**blinks**

**thinks about it for a second**

Holy shit.

I can't believe that never registered before. Wow.

That film wasn't exactly from my childhood, but it is still one I saw in the theater in my teens. So... yeah.

Damn. Someone should have posted that comment in the "let's ruin eachother's childhoods" thread a few months back. Nothing in that thread got me - this did.

And now to pass the love: if that is true, then the same likely applies to Jabba the Hut and Princess Leia.

You can't unsee it. Congrats. Enjoy your brain bleach.