Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

[s0denone]

"Being offended at gays kissing" isn't the problem. 7 pages of everybody agreeing with each other because they believe a clearly untrue story is the problem. Hey, I don't like looking at men kissing either! But reading 7 pages of people not once questioning this story (Did the OP leave? Has he lost the ability to reply?) offends me to no end.

Also, you might think I'm a dick for getting angry at this, but I think your a smug, pompous ass for telling me to "calm down".

How is telling you to calm down(when you're obviously wound up) being a smug, pompous ass?
Do you even know what pompous means?

Please stop messaging me if all you've got is silly flaming.

At the very least you should look at yourself.
If you apply the "You only wrote calm down to make yourself feel superior" scenario - then look at you first post:

Referring to people as sheep? Check.
Referring to the OPs story as a blatant lie? Check.
Making many rather unrelated assumptions? Check.

Applying such logic to my post requires you to apply it to your own as well.
Your post is much more pompous and smug, if we're going that route.

 

[Something Amyss]

A movie theater is not the place to "snog".

God, people snog in every movie theater I've ever been to. The only time I can safely say nobody was snogging was when me and my brother were the only two people in the theater this one time.

I mean, seriously, this is one of those socially accepted "date" places and kissing is common. While I can't condone spitting on people for it, the notion that a movie theater is not a place for kissing seems counterindicative to every experience I've ever had, and general societal consensus.

I have a feeling this level of justification wouldn't even really be coming up if it weren't for the kissers being homosexual.

Personally, I don't like PDAs regardless of sexuality, but part of being an adult means accepting you don't always get your way. I'm picturing the "this isn't the place" crowd actively policing the theaters I've frequented, because there are a lot of straights who would be seriously annoyed by the kind of policing the guy was going in the first place.

It's nice to say this isn't a sexuality issue in principle, but principle and reality don't always dovetail very nice, and tolerances are lower for people we don't like, like say the guys from the initial scenario who are grossed out by dudes kissing.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

No, your friend was in the right about that. You don't go into a theatre and do that, its like texting or talking and it can be distracting. If you're bored and you don't feel like watching the movie, walk out of it. No need to be so hostile.

 

[Iron Lightning]

For the answer to all movie-related controversies, consult this video:


Skip to 1:23 for information regarding the present dilemma.

 

[Captain Pancake]

I think the gay guy was very quick to play the "Hate crime" card. There's this annoying, small and quite intimidating guy at my school called Dammi. He just so happens to be black. if I were to confront him about his douchebaggery, and he were to play the "Is it cause I'm black?" card, I would say, "No, it's because you're a dick". This scenario is very similar, if they would jump so quickly to that conclusion then it shows they're not secure with their sexuality, as he couldn't see that he was just distracting you and your friend.

While you are right, you are wrong about one thing;
They are sure about their sexuality. The one who told them to stop isn't however.

It isn't because you are insecure you play out those cards, it's because it's an easy way to defend yourself because few dare to do anything against the "It's because I'm black / becaues I'm gay" card.

From what I know, it sounds like, although the homosexuality may have been discomforting, it wasn't the major factor for his comment. He just wanted to watch the film, and the other guy jumped to conclusions.

 

[Mr Metzger]

I would have laid the punches into the gay fella. There is never an excuse for spitting in someones face.it is one of the trampiest things you can do. Where abouts in Ireland was it? (im from Ireland too)

 

[Cuddlydemon]

Normally when the question in the title is asked, the answer is almost always yes. In this case, no, asking someone politely to quit making out in a public movie theater so you can watch the movie is not an offense, certainly not a spitting one.

If your friend was actually as polite as he says he was--Not to accuse, just saying, sometimes people alter what they remember saying a tad, especially if they tell the story more than once--then he did nothing wrong.

Edit: I should note that if you're worried about how you respond to gay men doing what gay men do, you should try and examine your response to it very carefully--why does it bother you so much? What about it is so gross? Mind, it being gross to you isn't necessarily a problem, unless it causes you to treat them badly.

 

[Stryc9]

I'm sorry but gay people or straight people in this situation doesn't really matter, it would be distracting either way. Your friend was right to ask them to stop and not be spit on for it.

 

[Arkham]

I think the kissing couple was rude. Had they been sitting further away it would have probably been less likely to cause a conflict, but that wouldn't have made it any less rude regardless of the gender mix. I'd have probably asked them to stop, too. Spitting in someone's face isn't proper conversation either.

I suppose it's worth mentioning I'm a bisexual male. Frankly I think the gay community is a little bit sensitive sometimes. On the other hand some anti-gay groups make it seem like the situation is worse than it really is. It's not much fun being called a '******,' but by that point in an argument any response other than a single fingered salute is in vain.

 

[Dags90]

From what I know, it sounds like, although the homosexuality may have been discomforting, it wasn't the major factor for his comment. He just wanted to watch the film, and the other guy jumped to conclusions.

The OP has expanded the information to include this:

Well, see, part of it is that my friend probably wouldn't have cared as much and/or ignored them if it was a heterosexual couple (in fact, the friend has probably done far worse things in public with his girlfriend. Not to mention in my other friend's bed. Ick.)


Is that still bigoted?

I think a lot of people are overlooking that second post, so the OP by itself is fairly misleading at this point.

 

[Twilight_guy]

If that's all he said then yes they were being rude. If it was a hetero couple and you asked them to a stop and one spit on you it would be just as rude. Although your friend might have offended them and should probably have just tried to ignore them, they were also wrong for spitting on him. The fight was both groups' fault though since you need two to tango. It's unfortunate that the incident got blown out of proportion though.

 

[Sovvolf]

Mmm, not sure on how to take this story... I wasn't there at the time so I don't know exactly what went off and how it all went down. However what I will say is that... I would have informed a member of staff about it. Asked the first time, if they continued... Get a member of staff, explain the them that the couples constant snogging is ruining the movie your trying to watch. The staff member would probably have warned them not to do it again... They spit in the staff members face or pull the "Because I is gay" card and well... They'll be out of the Cinema.

I hate it too... People kissing or shouting in the cinema. No mater what gender they are. Little hypocritical of me because I've done this at the cinema before (Getting off with a bird) but I at least go to the back corner of the cinema (or where know one is around) so I'm not disturbing anyone. If these fellows wanted to do all that shit... Find a better spot and don't complain when your called out on it.

From what I know, it sounds like, although the homosexuality may have been discomforting, it wasn't the major factor for his comment. He just wanted to watch the film, and the other guy jumped to conclusions.

The OP has expanded the information to include this:

Well, see, part of it is that my friend probably wouldn't have cared as much and/or ignored them if it was a heterosexual couple (in fact, the friend has probably done far worse things in public with his girlfriend. Not to mention in my other friend's bed. Ick.)


Is that still bigoted?

I think a lot of people are overlooking that second post, so the OP is fairly misleading at this point.

Well with this bit of info... I'm not sure what to say. Sounds like the friend was a bit of a bigot after all so... I don't know if I believe the friend was as kind as stated.

 

[MorganL4]

I wrote the title in first person so it'd be more immediate and attention-grabbing, but this actually happened to a friend of mine (yeah right, I'm sure you're thinking). Though it could hypothetically happen to me.

My friend and I have discussed how we feel about homosexuality, and we generally agreed that we accept it as long as it's not annoying or obnoxious, just like everything else. We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!" just as we dislike emos going "look at me, I'm all deep and dark!" or political extremists or whatever. We're both friends with a gay guy, and we treat him the same as anyone else (I mean, we "tease" him about it, but he doesn't mind, and he slags us right back. Everyone's got something to rip on).

But one thing was that it always creeped me out to see guys kiss. I don't think I'm really alone on this. It's like the equivalent of watching someone pick their nose. It's just... eew. It's not something I have any control over, it just disturbs me on a fundamental level. People have been throwing slogans around like "homosexuality isn't a choice, but homophobia is", and I'd have to say that if being a bit disgusted by men kissing is homophobic, then it really isn't a choice. If I had a choice, I wouldn't choose to be disgusted by anything. (On a side note, I always hated the word "homophobe". 'Homos' means 'one and the same', so 'homophobia' would technically mean 'a pathological fear of things staying the same')

Anyway, here's the thing. Recently my friend and his friend went to see Inception (I think), and the cinema was fairly empty, except for these two other guys in front of them. And halfway through the film these two other guys got bored, for whatever reason, and started making out. And my friend was distracted, and grossed out, and couldn't enjoy the film properly. So, never being one to suffer in silence, he gently (according to him) said something alone the lines of "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie". And then, one of the guys turned and spat directly into my friend's face.

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do), and everyone was ejected from the cinema. The local newspaper even caught wind of it, spinning the whole thing to sound like some sort of hate crime riot.


So, what do you think? Was my friend being intolerant, and deserved what he got? Were the homosexual couple being rude, and shouldn't stopped when asked? Did they overreact? Do you think gays in general seem to be more intolerant of people expressing their feelings about homosexuality than heterosexuals are? Or do you think the homosexual community should take a zero tolerance policy to any form of discrimination?

I'm not really sure what to believe.

well it depends, if he would have acted in kind if a heterosexual couple had been making out the same way, then no he wasn't being homophobic just easily distracted and a bit arrogant, if not, then yeah, it was a bit homophobic...at least that's my two cents

 

[Edorf]

Well, I think it your friend could've kept his mouth shut. I also, however think spitting on him was a bit of an overreaction.

 

[Kortney]

Yeah that's annoying. I don't like watching anyone make out near me, I think it's incredibly rude and your friend was well in his right to clatter them. Twats.

 

[riotwraith]

If the story happened exactly as you said, then your friend did absolutely nothing wrong. If you're exaggerating parts of the story to make it sound like you or your friend was the good guy... then I guess you need help? I don't know why anyone would go to a forum to tell people a false version of a story just to get validation that that would have put them in the right if it happened, but I don't know why people do a lot of things.

Either way, someone in this story is fucking nuts. Sometimes misunderstandings happen and just escalate due to a number of different factors in people's personal lives, sometimes people are just fucked in the head, but most of the time it's a little combination of both on both sides. Not much you can do about it.

edit: just saw the post about how he wouldn't have done the same if it were a heterosexual couple. I hate to make assumptions in situations like this, but watch as I do just that! (Weeee! It's fun being a hypocrite) The friend didn't say anything remotely polite, he deserved to get spit on, and whoever lost the fight deserved to lose regardless of who it was.

Sometimes you gotta turn the other cheek, sometimes you gotta beat an ass or two, and sometimes you need to get your ass beat. That's just how it goes.

 

[KingOfRoll]

Your friend was completely in the right to ask them to stop. If it had been a man and women, it would have been equally annoying (at least to me, though I don't think I would be alone there). You're trying to watch a movie and if anyone is making out right in front of you it's pretty damn irritating. If someone spat at me, they'd probably end up in a great deal of pain, regardless of their orientation.

It would have to be a pretty good movie for me to say something if it were two women, on the other hand.

 

[boyvirgo666]

i must be lucky. i asked a gay friend of mine if and i quote "is taking a big poop like sex for you?" and i didnt get spat on

 

[Sonofadiddly]

I get distracted when any couple, gay or straight, starts making out in front of me while I'm trying to watch a movie. So no, your friend did not deserve spit in his face.