Does gay as a derogatory term offend you?

[Cheery Lunatic]

My friends use brown as a synonym for cheap.
I don't get offended by it.

Gay isn't even in the same category anymore. I'm sure people have already said this, but words EVOLVE. Hell, no one uses it to mean "happy" anymore.

I don't use the word as an insult but frankly I get more annoyed at the people who are ohhhh so mature and look down on those lowly, immature homophobes.

Stop taking everything so seriously, jesus.

 

[Purplecoyote]

It can, but it depends on the context. If someone says it with the intent of wanting to call me something that would be offensive, like "useless", "idiot" or something like that. And they use "gay", like with the intent purpose of wanting to call me a bad name, then yes, I get offended because being gay is not offensive or wrong.

If my sister has trouble opening a bottle of ketchup and says something like "this bottle needs to stop being so gay", then of course I don't get offended.

Just because I call some sort of kitchen appliance a **** sometimes doesn't mean that I hate women. But I don't call people that.

 

[tautologico]

Hate to be that guy, but...yeah, I'll admit. Gay being synonymous with 'bad' or 'cowardly' or 'lame' has some very nasty undertones no matter how far you distance yourself from what the word really means. I don't think it's the worst thing ever, but none of my friends or family have ever used it that way, and...again, dem undertones.

Exactly. You can say "it has lost all meaning to me, it's just an insult" but this doesn't change the fundamental fact here: using "gay" as an insult equates being "gay" with being "bad" or "lame". If it's an unconscious association that you don't even notice, that's even worse. And by saying it, you are, in a little way, helping to perpetuate this idea.

Words shift and are used according to the culture, so it's pointless to try and fight everyone who uses the word, but it still means something. And I don't think it's a big offensive slur. But if you don't want to maybe hurt people who have done nothing to you, and you don't feel comfortable knowing you're helping, in a small way, to perpetuate a senseless prejudice, then don't use these words as insults.

 

[CMDDarkblade]

I get mildly annoyed when people say to refer to things as "gay" because seriously you can't thing of a better way to describe it, but I get offended when people directly use the word to insult people. Because in most cases when that word is used to insult people, it doesn't mean that that person is "stupid" or "lame"; it's mostly used to tell other men that they are too feminine to be real men and that they are less of a person because of it. One context is much worse than the other but it's still not a nice word to throw around carelessly as long as it still used as a word to describe homosexuals.

In fact is there a simple, non-clinical word to describe gay people without using words like "gay", "queer", or "******" that are also used as slurs? In any case there wouldn't be an easy way to separate the definitions and switch to another word to describe gay people without perpetuating the euphemism treadmill.

 

[orangeban]

No matter what people claim about "gay" losing it's meaning as "homosexual", it hasn't. Currently gay has two definitions.

1) A homosexual
2) A bad thing

And as long as those two definitions exist together, that means that homosexual = gay = bad thing then we have a problem. But who am I to say that it's offensive, when there are all these straight people on here informing me that, well, they don't find it offensive!

 

[gnihton]

No matter what people claim about "gay" losing it's meaning as "homosexual", it hasn't. Currently gay has two definitions.

1) A homosexual
2) A bad thing

And as long as those two definitions exist together, that means that homosexual = gay = bad thing then we have a problem. But who am I to say that it's offensive, when there are all these straight people on here informing me that, well, they don't find it offensive!

You don't need to share someone's perspective to know that what they're saying is ridiculous.

I can understand people finding it offensive, what I don't understand is people not acknowledging that they shouldn't find it offensive. The second definition is clearly not intended for you, and the former is only used by the ignorant.

Also, if South Park's anything to go on (hurrdurr I can't be arsed to do the research) gay/****** has always meant something that people don't like, meaning that it never necessarily implied homosexuality at all, there was just a period when it was used to that end. Although, everything I've just typed could just be nonsense if that little nugget of information in that SP episode isn't actually true.

 

[Tippy]

Anyone who takes offense to it at this point has no idea how to take things within context.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

gay used as "homosexual" always has been a slur and derogatory. The community then accepted the term themselves and thereby took away its power. so if you are still offended by it your mind is somewhere in the 70s

 

[CMDDarkblade]

Also, if South Park's anything to go on (hurrdurr I can't be arsed to do the research) gay/****** has always meant something that people don't like, meaning that it never necessarily implied homosexuality at all, there was just a period when it was used to that end. Although, everything I've just typed could just be nonsense if that little nugget of information in that SP episode isn't actually true.

Well before LGBT people took the word in the 1960s to describe themselves, it was used to describe carefree happiness. Back then it had mostly positive connotations, but was sometimes used as a slang word for someone who is sexually promiscuous. Once "gay" started to mean "homosexual person" then it started to develop a negative connotation because not many people liked gay people or the stereotypes about them. It only became an general insult because it started to be associated with gay people. So no, it didn't become an insult in spite of homosexuality, it became an insult because of the negative attitudes towards homosexuality. It is almost exactly like the progression of the word "retarded" in that sense.

 

[TitanAura]

Personally I, as a heterosexual man, am not offended but I have friends, very gay friends, who are. I empathize with their situation so I personally do not use the word gay in that manner, but I wouldn't stop others from using it in such a manner. I believe breath is wasted on such bigoted individuals.

 

[search_rip]

I don't really mind about the word "gay" but how about the way the new-ish generations use the word "*****", "***** please, ***** that, hello bitches, etc." I found it a little disturbing

 

[pilf]

My friends are now really cautious with such words around me after coming out to them, but I really don't care and sometimes use derogatory terms like gay although mostly in a joking way (I would find it quite difficult to say such a thing in an offensive way). I do seem to find ****** to be a much harsher word.

I think it's fairly safe to say the word's meaning is undergoing another semantic shift; from happy, to homosexual, to something bad/annoying and in essence because of this is losing more of it's meaning.

 

[gnihton]

Well before LGBT people took the word in the 1960s to describe themselves, it was used to describe carefree happiness. Back then it had mostly positive connotations, but was sometimes used as a slang word for someone who sexually promiscuous. Once "gay" started to mean "homosexual person" then it started to develop a negative connotation because not many people liked gay people or the stereotypes about them. It only became an general insult because it started to be associated with gay people. So no, it didn't become an insult in spite of homosexuality, it became an insult because of the negative attitudes towards homosexuality. It is almost exactly like the progression of the word "retarded" in that sense.

I wasn't thinking, I somehow completely forgot the definition of the word gay. I meant the word ******, apparently it used to be used for 'witches' and so on.

 

[orangeban]

No matter what people claim about "gay" losing it's meaning as "homosexual", it hasn't. Currently gay has two definitions.

1) A homosexual
2) A bad thing

And as long as those two definitions exist together, that means that homosexual = gay = bad thing then we have a problem. But who am I to say that it's offensive, when there are all these straight people on here informing me that, well, they don't find it offensive!

You don't need to share someone's perspective to know that what they're saying is ridiculous.

I can understand people finding it offensive, what I don't understand is people not acknowledging that they shouldn't find it offensive. The second definition is clearly not intended for you, and the former is only used by the ignorant.

Also, if South Park's anything to go on (hurrdurr I can't be arsed to do the research) gay/****** has always meant something that people don't like, meaning that it never necessarily implied homosexuality at all, there was just a period when it was used to that end. Although, everything I've just typed could just be nonsense if that little nugget of information in that SP episode isn't actually true.

If that SP episode is true (and I'm pretty sure it isn't), it doesn't matter. What matters is that right now, "gay" means homosexual. And that isn't some snobbish only-English-majors-know-this, everyone knows that one of the meanings of gay is homosexual. It's in the damn acronym after all, LGBT

 

[neoontime]

Kind of, I use gay(only in text of lame) or very rarely f-word around my close friends. Though I tend not to use the f-word around some of the gay or bi people I know. Plus my sister calls me ****** occasionally but I'm okay with as long as its playful.

 

[gnihton]

If that SP episode is true (and I'm pretty sure it isn't), it doesn't matter. What matters is that right now, "gay" means homosexual. And that isn't some snobbish only-English-majors-know-this, everyone knows that one of the meanings of gay is homosexual. It's in the damn acronym after all, LGBT

I'd like to point out that that was an aside, my actual point didn't hinge on that at all.

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

My best friend is gay, I'm bisexual, and all of my friends are of various orientation. Not one of us gives a shit and will say things are 'gay' all the time. The word 'fag' is just a little different, though, so we only use it with people we know very well.

 

[Theminimanx]

I often correct people, but that's not because I'm offended on behalf of gay people, but more because I'm a vocabulary nazi (is that even a word? it is now.)

 

[lovest harding]

To me, words are just words.
I do take some offense to it, though, when the intent is not just to use gay as bad (the same way retarded is used as stupid) but to equate gay people as bad (usually with the term fag or ****** rather than gay which is meant to imply that somehow being gay makes a man less than).

Intent is far more important than the actual words these days.

I would like to mention that as a gay man I also understand how offensive it can be (to take a word that is used as a title for a community and give it negative connotations is quite an offensive idea, the problem being unlike other derogatory words aimed at groups of people it wasn't originally a derogatory word). And I know how much damage it can cause to young kids/teens first hand.
It's also strange to hear gay used as bad when that is almost the exact opposite of its true meaning, but modern society has done that often (using bad to mean good in the 80's and 90's and occasionally now). xD

 

[WindKnight]

I wouldn't say it offends me, but I find it wearying, immature and tiresome. Its something I'd like to see gone, for sure, the sooner the better.