Dolphins are assholes

[manythings]

This is a fact people really should learn early on. They are almost human in their assholery. Seriously, spread the word and the next time a person is being a hippy about how awesome dolphins are point out the whole psychopathic murdering rapist thing they have going on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLEb-iCQqec&feature=player_embedded

Now I picked this video specifically because whoever is holding the camera is underwater when they are laughing (Obviously they don't understand dolphins are assholes) so it sounds like a bizarre combination of the dog from duck hunt and R2-D2.

Any animals you think should be reclassified for better or worse?

 

[Tanner The Monotone]

They're also rapists, don't forget about that (I probably shouldn't have said consedering my picture)

 

[drbarno]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_the-6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom_p2.html

Guess what, they the only other speices that kill for fun, as well as killing their own young.

 

[Optimystic]

I'm actually glad there are dickhead animals out there. It just shows that anything can be a tosser if you make it smart enough. We're not totally alone on this ball of mud.

 

[WolfThomas]

Totally, no one believes me when I tell them this.

 

[Ubermetalhed]

They also, in collaboration with whales, dropped the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Total bastards.

 

[dsmops2003]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_the-6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom_p2.html

Guess what, they the only other speices that kill for fun, as well as killing their own young.

That would be Orcas sir. AKA Killer Whales. They kill sharks for teh lulz.

 

[-Samurai-]

Dolphins gang up on other sea creatures just for fun. I saw a documentary once where a large group of dolphins ganged up on a whale, beat the hell out of it, then just left it alone. Assholes.

 

[SonicWaffle]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_the-6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom_p2.html

Guess what, they the only other speices that kill for fun, as well as killing their own young.

Also cats. Cats kill for fun too. But then, everyone already knows what pricks cats are, so it's a little redundant...

 

[Tanis]

Bring on the dolphin unsafe tuna! ^.^

<3
Great minds think alike, this is what I was thinking of.

 

[drbarno]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_the-6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom_p2.html

Guess what, they the only other speices that kill for fun, as well as killing their own young.

That would be Orcas sir. AKA Killer Whales. They kill sharks for teh lulz.

Shows someone doesn't click on the link, it doesn't mention sharks at all, dolpins kill porpoises for no reason than fun.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_the-6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom_p2.html

Guess what, they the only other speices that kill for fun, as well as killing their own young.

Also cats. Cats kill for fun too. But then, everyone already knows what pricks cats are, so it's a little redundant...

http://www.cracked.com/article/226_6-adorable-cat-behaviors-with-shockingly-evil-explanations/
This shows just how much pricks cats are.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_the-6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom_p2.html

Guess what, they the only other speices that kill for fun, as well as killing their own young.

Nice list but I am actually surpirsed that ducks aren't on it. They just fly up and rape the females and often to death as they down in the water and keep going until they finish with them.

 

[SonicWaffle]

http://www.cracked.com/article/226_6-adorable-cat-behaviors-with-shockingly-evil-explanations/
This shows just how much pricks cats are.

Someone's on a real Cracked binge today

Nice list but I am actually surpirsed that ducks aren't on it. They just fly up and rape the females and often to death as they down in the water and keep going until they finish with them.

Not just rape, gang rape. Bloody ducks.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

"Never trust a species that smiles all the time. It's up to something."

[sub]Sneaky, sneaky dolphins....[/sub]

 

[Dr Snakeman]

It's true. Dolphins are mean, dangerous bastards. They have been known to attack humans if they feel like it.

 

[flipsalty]

Dogs also try to rape people, how come they're not on the list.

 

[Neonbob]

Of course they're assholes. They share an environment with whales, the biggest assholes in the world. It's only natural that some of their behavior would rub off on the dolphin.
Stupid whales. Messing up an animal that should be a cool thing.

 

[Padwolf]

To add to it, here is a comic telling you why you should punch a dolphin in the mouth

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dolphin_punch

 

[rancher of monsters]

Fuck you shitty Dolphrin!