Don't Blame Games, Blame Pants

Agayek

Ravenous Gormandizer
Oct 23, 2008
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RyQ_TMC said:
So the Scots were right all along!
Weren't the Scots like the most violent and brutal of the various Britons back in the day when kilts were invented?

Just saying.
 

an annoyed writer

Exalted Lady of The Meep :3
Jun 21, 2012
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You know, my friend named his one of his Turians "Pants" in Mass Effect 3's multiplayer, and I thought that Turian was an okay guy. How wrong I was makes me feel very sad.

Queen Michael said:
I'm glad to see that someone else has finally realized the evil of pants. That is why, for several years, I've refused to dress myself in the garb of murderers and gone pants-less both at work and in my spare time.
Sadly, not everyone appreciates my efforts...
You and me both, my friend. You and me both.
 

-Ezio-

Eats Nuts, Kicks Butts.
Nov 17, 2009
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i'll have you know i've worn pants for many years and i have only murdered 16 people. i find your claims baseless and offensive sir.
 

thalendiril

New member
Oct 20, 2010
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This is not even counting the fact that great intellectual figures like Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates all thought pants were symbols of barbarism and in their enlightened perspective abstained entirely from the practice of wearing pants.
 

AdmiralCheez

New member
Nov 9, 2009
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Hang on a second... I'm wearing pants right now! I better fix this before things get too dangerous.
 

ryukage_sama

New member
Mar 12, 2009
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I solemnly swear that I will never wear pants in public again. I never knew that my khakis were discreetly nudging me towards going "No Russian" every time I entered a public space. Thank Akatosh I've never worn full-length leggings under my pants, or I may not have been able to restrain myself.

__________________________________________

The above statement is meant in jest and is not to be taken seriously by any overly sensitive, humorless citizens or overzealous prosecutors.
 
Sep 13, 2009
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This is just ridiculous, not everyone who wears pants is going to kill someone. Adults are generally mature enough to be able to wear them without incident.

The real problem lies with irresponsible parents buying them for their kids without educating themselves on the dangers. That and the way that they've been marketed towards children. You know they make these things in children's sizes now?
 

LegendaryVKickr

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2012
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I've always argued it could be something on TV, or something they do in their free time, like taxidermy. Maybe too many Law and Order reruns leads to bloodshed?

Fortunately, I'm glad this discovery has been made duly broadcast. I know I won't be wearing pants ever again.

Satire is delicious. This man could be the next Stephen Colbert.
 

Kapol

Watch the spinning tails...
May 2, 2010
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As we know from another popular Escapist series (found here: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/7045-The-Whole-Story-Pants ), pants were developed (or should I say redeveloped) for the purpose of war. So their involvement in shootings is not all that surprising.
 

EeviStev

New member
Mar 2, 2011
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Every citizen has a right to have access to a pair of pants should he or she be attacked and need to kill in self defense. Hands off our pants!
 

teebeeohh

New member
Jun 17, 2009
2,896
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So when the lrr guys said" no rules means no pants" they were doing pro-pants propaganda because violence increases peoples need for funny videos, increasing their viewership. It's so evil
 

Olas

Hello!
Dec 24, 2011
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Hah, I can proudly say I spend less time wearing pants than playing videogames, and I never do both at the same time, which must be the real recipe for disaster.

Alakaizer said:
As compelling as this evidence is, I know the TRUE secret of mass murders: dihydrogen monoxide. Yes, every murderer throughout time has been addicted to dihydrogen monoxide. Armies make troops carry containers of dihydrogen monoxide. If we were to abolish this dangerous chemical, all murder, nay, ALL CRIME would be stopped within a week!
The supposed "dangers" of Hydric Acid are completely overblown, I drink it almost every day and I've never murdered ANYONE who didn't deserve it. As long as it isn't inhaled or taken in large doses, not only can it be perfectly safe, but it even has some health benefits that most people are unaware of. Perhaps you should do some research before you start trying to cause fear and panic.
 

Teoes

Poof, poof, sparkles!
Jun 1, 2010
5,174
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Excellent article - you make some startling points. I have a proposal and a query.

Proposal: That we introduce international legislation forcing the Governments of the world to record trouser sales and keep track of those walking ticking time-bombs who purchase and wear them. We need to know who these dangerous people are, where they are and what they're doing.

Query: What of sagging? Are violent tendencies reduced by way of the trouser covering less of the body, or does it not work either by way of the uncovered body being at the wrong end of the leg (Shamus said trousers should be rolled up, after all, not down) or because the same amount of trouser material is involved; it's just that it's bunched up more? We must investigate, with science.
 

Noswad

New member
Mar 21, 2011
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I find this article rife with inaccuracies, did not the Romans, one of the most militaristic empires the world has ever seen, give preference to wearing tunics and if trousers cause violence explain Scotland. In fact the invention of violence far pre-dates the discovery of trousers, the modern trouser only becoming popular towards the end of the medieval period, people before relying on brais and hose.
 

rofltehcat

New member
Jul 24, 2009
635
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Noswad said:
I find this article rife with inaccuracies, did not the Romans, one of the most militaristic empires the world has ever seen, give preference to wearing tunics and if trousers cause violence explain Scotland. In fact the invention of violence far pre-dates the discovery of trousers, the modern trouser only becoming popular towards the end of the medieval period, people before relying on brais and hose.
The romans didn't have firearms and they quickly adopted pants after crossing the alps. Sure, they made fun of the German tribes before that. But once they fought them in the harsh conditions north of the alps, they quickly realised why the Germans wore them:
Because of the pure ferocity provided by pants.