Don't drop the soap

[LightningBanks]

Tell him that I have aids

Tell him Im the male version of teeth.

Get me inmate buddies (If I have any) to have a gangbang on his face

...uhh, Not take a shower?

 

[Dr Snakeman]

I'm going to go with the "fight like hell" option suggested by a few other people. The only way he's taking my anal virginity is if I'm dead.

Also, this is a horrible thread. Which is why it's hilarious.

 

[Shapsters]

Uhhhh, take a bite out of his neck or something. I don't know, realistically, would probably have to take it in the ass. :|

This.

Watching many, many episodes of Oz has taught me that should I end up in a maximum security prison I will almost definitely get raped...

 

[ethaninja]

Cast magic missile.

Seriously though: Probably rip his dick off and slam it into his throat. I'd forfeit my life by doing such, but I'm guess it would be a much more merciful way to go then up the pooper.

Do you have ANY idea how *hard* it will be to actually rip a dick off? There will be nothing to really grab on to unless you really feel like messing with his nob.

...that's gnarly.

Yeah, but let's not forget, that a woman managed to lift an entire car off her baby because she had her adrenaline going.

And as for messing with his nob, "I'm sure it would be a better thing to do then getting that nob inside of you"

(It rhymed, that's why I added the quotation marks )

 

[Mcupobob]

Rape him back. Who the hell is going to mess with a guy that turns around and rapes you back? Its just to crazy to even imagine.

 

[Mcupobob]

Well seeing as somethings inevitable.

I'd offer him oral pleasure, thus disarming him. Then bite it off, taking one for the team and stopping Bubba's reign of terror.

ROFL. One of the best resonses on this thread.
OToint out how much hotter the guy across the room is and then go find someone bigger to protect me. Oh yeah why are we in jail? If its child molestation then our collective ass will be so fucked we'll need a new one. But if we're in for murder, not many people will want to try their luck. (I read a book on prison once)

Where all in because of white collar crimes, tax evasion and what not. Sounds good?

 

[The_Emperor]

Kill, eyes, throat, balls.

punch for the throat, hurt the eyes, bite, anything

if all else fails revenge, I'd bide my time and find a way to kill that person, really. I don't think thats psycho behaviour either.

judge me as a weirdo if you will I'd rather spend the rest of my life in prison, I would infact rather die, than be raped. I would also destroy anyone who would try to disempower me in such a way, with little regard to my own life and the consequences, before or after the event.

I'd rather die fighting, than live on my knees.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

Spread the rumor that your sphincter has teeth?

 

[Zykon TheLich]

I would remind him that I am the leader of the prisons loaded mousetrap smuggling ring.

 

[DeathsHands]

Tea party. Then go for the daddy bags.

 

[Sacman]

Cut his ass... martial arts won't help you when 90% of your intestines are on the floor...

 

[AceAngel]

I would tell him I'm very gay, and that I would kill my lover if they upset me.

Or that I only give, not take.

If all fails, bite it off, kick it, then call everyone in for a large orgy!

Oh crap, the last part is kinda counter-helpful...

 

[randomsix]

I don't think there is anyone 8 and a half feet tall in prison...

 

[deonte9109]

Well beside the obvious of not dropping the soap. I start kicking some sacks. Eventually everyone will call me the Nutcracker and leave me alone.

 

[Mrkittycat]

duct tape my ass

 

[Danpascooch]

I'd definitely have a shank. First rule of prison.

What are ya gonna tell me, he is two ranks higher in the "pointy things in your flesh" discipline? Stabbing is all about who does it first, that guy wins, since he's trying to rape me not stab me, I'd be first.

 

[Skorpyo]

I would stop washing my ass. Forever.

He wouldn't WANT to do it.

 

[cobaltfram]

Hope the computers in the library blocked inane conversations like this.

 

[BioHazardMan]

Hope you like men...

 

[Dutchie_Diatribe]

Unless they have AIDS too...