Dumbass Thieves Attempt Robbery in Sharpie Masks
- Thread starter John Funk
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Huh, thats the first I've heard of a robbery being solved...go figure.
Incidentally, those two robbers are beyond mental challenged. Also, I agree with the guy above me that they should NEVER have offspring.
Incidentally, those two robbers are beyond mental challenged. Also, I agree with the guy above me that they should NEVER have offspring.
That's right up there with a criminal genius named Louis Albright from Lafayette Louisiana who tried to use whipped cream as a disguise while standing in line at a bank. Apparently he tried it out at home a few times beforehand and it worked. It hid his identity, was easily washed away and tasted great. So on the day of the big heist he sprayed his entire head with whipped cream, and by the time he got to the teller a lot of it had melted into his eyes and blinded him. The teller (right about when she started laughing) had long since hit the silent alarm, so the whole thing ended pretty quickly and the "Whipped cream bandit" went to "The cooler."
See what I did there? Yeah I know, comic brilliance.
I found a few other retarded criminal stories, check these out:
"A man from Louisiana walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars."
"Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in."
"45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil."
"Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off their truck. In a panic they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. And the bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper."
"A group of criminal masterminds thought it would be a wise idea to steal cars from one of those trucks that transport automobiles across the nation. Everything went smoothly until it was realized that each car only contained one gallon of gasoline."
Not sure about this last one though:
"Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed."
Oddly enough, that last one although hard to believe, would be totally legal...
See what I did there? Yeah I know, comic brilliance.
I found a few other retarded criminal stories, check these out:
"A man from Louisiana walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars."
"Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in."
"45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil."
"Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off their truck. In a panic they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. And the bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper."
"A group of criminal masterminds thought it would be a wise idea to steal cars from one of those trucks that transport automobiles across the nation. Everything went smoothly until it was realized that each car only contained one gallon of gasoline."
Not sure about this last one though:
"Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed."
Oddly enough, that last one although hard to believe, would be totally legal...
That is shear awesome.Undercover said:
OT: About half the responses are right, those two need to be barred from reproducing. That is quite possibly the worst disguise I have ever seen apart from the guy who robbed an urban bank while disguised as a tree.
