Dumbest Things Heard In School

[SadakoMoose]

"How could Japan elect Chairman Mao? Isn't he a communist or something?"
Classmate, Third Grade.
In order to teach us about Chinese history, they gave us Arizona green tea in sippie cups, fortune cookies, and showed us Mulan.

Third Grade? I'm astonished that a third grade child would know of Chairman Mao or Communism. Seriously, this is third grade we're talking about.

It was the 90's...
World Awareness was in.

Ah, I see. In comparison, high school graduates of the pitiful system in the States nowadays would be hard pressed to find America on a map.

Dude, the guy still got China and Japan confused.

 

[Cakes]

Dude, the guy still got China and Japan confused.

The kid was still a third grader. What is that, 9? I don't know where you went to school, but obviously it has much higher standards.

 

[Scumpernickle]

8th grade social studies class
Teacher: ...And thats how the French and Indian War started, it also started the Seven Years war in Europe.
Kid: How long did the Seven Years war last?

*epic facepalm*

At that moment I knew I wasn't suppost to be anywhere near that class, so im transferring out of it.

 

[Logic 0]

Is Mario a drug user that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard in school.

 

[SadakoMoose]

Dude, the guy still got China and Japan confused.

The kid was still a third grader. What is that, 9? I don't know where you went to school, but obviously it has much higher standards.

I don't think those are high standards...
Wow, the educational system really has gone downhill.

 

[ucciolord1]

10th grade english.
the quote: "She could feel them, pelting her with their dirty thoughts like rocks"
My teacher claimed this to be personification. It is not. It is a simile. This particular example is memorable because it was the final straw of a school year full of piss-poor english teaching. I got into a shouting match with her. I won.

I would almost want to have an English teacher like yours so I could make her cry whenever I needed to relieve stress.
Almost.

 

[ucciolord1]

Is Mario a drug user that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard in school.

He does mushrooms. It's not that hard to figure out. You're right, what a stupid question.

 

[morpher80]

Today in Civics.


Question: How would you solve in illegal immigration problem?


Kid in class: Bomb Mexico.

Thats gotta be pretty funny to hear from a person in the same room i think i would be on the floor laughing the whole class

 

[ZombieVictor]

"What's so bad about communism?"

*Epic face palm*

What wrong with Communism?! Hm?!

OT: Wait..........

Yesterday, in Allgebra 2:

Teach: I WILL NOT lend out pensils! Make sure to bring one!
*5 minutes later*
Student: Can I borrow a pensil?

What kind of Algebra teacher won't lend out pencils? That's just silly.

 

[ZombieVictor]

"You guys are all idiots! All we need to do is make a land bridge and we can all get over the ladder to the other side one by one! Then we get a free period!"

-Gym Class (yea it's out of context yada yada)

Could you put it into context?

 

[Nautical Honors Society]

"You guys are all idiots! All we need to do is make a land bridge and we can all get over the ladder to the other side one by one! Then we get a free period!"

-Gym Class (yea it's out of context yada yada)

Could you put it into context?

Gym teacher- "If you can get to the other mat using only these ski things and not touching the gym floor you all get one random free period to skip gym...yada yada"

 

[ZombieVictor]

first day of this year

Teacher: i'm going to now tell you the "big three.

Me thinking:is this going to be something different then the usual don't do bad stuff crap we sit through ever year?

Teacher: the big three are... attend your classes, do your best, and respect everyone.

Me thinking: why?

Those sound perfectly reasonable to me. Why is this dumb?

 

[soren7550]

Monday I think it was, I had to grade someone's test in Government. Here's some of the 'better' answers:
Name a war that was fought in the 1800's
World War I

Who was the president during World War I?
Thomas Jefferson

Who's the senator in your state?
Hillary Clinton (ok, this one isn't nearly as stupid as the others, seeing as she was [apparently, I never saw her do anything here] senator of New York for a few years. But there was a lot of news coverage when she abandoned her post to become Secretary of State. Power hungry worthless *****.)

Ok, sorry but if you're insulting someone's intelligence don't put an apostrophe in "1800s" when it's plural.

Putting a apostrophe is a small grammatical mistake. Putting down that WWI was fought in the 1800s (fixy-fixy) is just pure stupid.

 

[ZombieVictor]

I like the time in Honors Chemistry where my teacher was going over how atoms become excited and when they return to their normal state they release photons, which have a wavelength (Because they're waves duh). Then we proceed to go over what a wave looks like, with the amplitude, trough, etc.

This one kid that almost killed me several times in drivers ed asks how a tsunami works.

....HOW DO THESE THINGS EVEN REMOTELY CONNECT?

Waves...tsunami

 

[SillyNilly]

Physics. We had a new Physics teacher in our last year in school. She was fat. I mean FAT. She must've been ill or something because it wasn't normal, she was mushy fat & had HUMONGOUS sagging breasts. Like a Michelin woman (better comparison: Boomerette).

Anyway, me & my friend are sitting side-by-side at the same desk. Teach's explaining a new subject. My friend turns to me & whispers "I didn't get this, did you?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "I'll ask the teacher then."
Me: "Are you stupid?! Don't do that! Trust me."
Him: "Miss? I didn't really understand how this equation works, can you explain again please?"
Teach: "Of course dear."

The thing I dreaded happened. Teach strolled over to behind him to look at the equation in his book. I pulled farther against the wall, acting relaxed. She leaned over. She practically draped his face with her money-bags & her saggy fat was pressing all the way down to the small of his back.

I took a peek at his face from under the landslide that was explaining the equation to him. He couldn't hear her, partially because he was so revolted & partially because her boobs had sealed his ears. He looked like he was in physical pain. His eyes barely glanced in my direction & I saw him mouth the word "help" X(

I... was... in such turmoil... struggling so hard not to have a Malkavian hysterics episode right there. I was biting my hand & coughing. When Teach said "You get it now?" he squeaked "yes". She lurched off of him. His eyes were wide. "I told you not to ask her you dumbass..."

I treated him to a drink during break time. He never asked her a question again. EVER.

EDIT: my bad, I just realized that this wasn't exactly a stupid thing said in class, just a really sad, hilarious thing that happened. I somehow saw it coming, but I don't see how anyone without my messed-up mind could have.

Holy @#$%! Hilarious!

Lesson learned the hard way, eh?

 

[cheese_wizington]

What's a Jew?

literally half the class groaned and face palmed all at once.

And now, on crappy behalf of my Teacher; whenever someone asks her what a jew is she smartly replies "A jew is a religion stupid"

Yes, that is a double fail.

 

[dabronc7]

AP Government class:

We were given a map with numbers on countries and numbers with country names next to them. I was the only one to get 100% right. The hardest country was iraq. Some people got the US, Canada and Mexico wrong.

Also:
Student: Who did we fight in WWII?
Teacher: Germany and Japan
Student: No that cant be right, we were Germany's allies.
Teacher: No, we fought against the Nazis.
Student: I thought we supported Hitler?

*Headdesk*

 

[Dragon-Byte]

A girl in my class today asked if Napoleon was a midget.
When asked, she said that he lived in Spain, and that he had a high voice.

Didn't he have that whole "midget" thing thrust upon him by lieu of being badmouthed by his enemies?
I recall reading something that was roughly of that nature.

Edit: Nevermind, found the facts.

ya he was actually like 4' 8'' or something , but apparently that was REALLY short back then

No he was 5' 7" i urge you to look it up before replying, he was actually taller than average.

i guess "short in stature" was refering to some other part of his body

 

[darkless]

A girl in my class today asked if Napoleon was a midget.
When asked, she said that he lived in Spain, and that he had a high voice.

Didn't he have that whole "midget" thing thrust upon him by lieu of being badmouthed by his enemies?
I recall reading something that was roughly of that nature.

Edit: Nevermind, found the facts.

ya he was actually like 4' 8'' or something , but apparently that was REALLY short back then

No he was 5' 7" i urge you to look it up before replying, he was actually taller than average.

i guess "short in stature" was refering to some other part of his body

No, the unit of measurement in France was different at the time what they marked down as 5'2" was 5'7" in our measurements, also they attribute it to his bodyguards having a height restriction making seem short by comparison.