Dumbest Things Heard In School

[Danz D Man]

The one I heard/saw was in my Bio30 class (Grade 12 Biology for all those who might be wondering), the teacher had an overhead and it was about calories and carbohydrates. Then we get to this little passage, "One calorie is one kilocalorie is equal to 1000 calories" I don't know why but I find that particular piece of fail to be quite amusing.

I believe that's correct...
One Calorie (note the capitalization) equals 1000 calories, which is one kilocalorie.
That might be me being really dumb though...

 

[Starke]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Amazing creatures they are, absolutely amazing.

The Platypus is proof that God drops acid.

The Platypus is simply a beautiful byproduct of random mutation and natural selection.

By the way, did I have you fooled? I want to roleplay a creationist when labs open up this week.

I didn't actually see where you were trying... so, I guess not...

-

-

Oh, in the other post.

Yeah, I don't know, it did set off my bullshit detectors, but that has more to do with this venue than your content. Honestly it bugs me that so nobody considers compromise on the subject. We have evolutionary data on how things evolved, but it's depressingly rare to find a christian who will say "evolution is God's tool" or something similar. It's always "evolution is a lie by sinners" (or something similar) or people stay oddly quiet on the subject.

Hmm I consider myself a true Christian and I strongly believe in god, but the whole "evolution is gods weapon of choice" makes the most sense. It has the facts of science behind it, and it explains how it all started. If that makes me a sinner, then I'm gonna be sitting in hell.

Nah, you won't be sitting in hell for that, it'll be for this:

'People play video games because they wish to be some gladiator or robot and have a meaning in life because they are really sad, small and depressed in real life'. Girl said in my english class.

I would have called her a *****, straight to her face.

But, in all seriousness, extreme fundamentalists have always rubbed me the wrong way. You're probably fine. I'll loop back go Aquinas for a moment, if God hadn't intended for you to use reason, he wouldn't have given it to you. It's a valid explanation that balances out your beliefs with the available evidence. Also there's no commandment "thou shall believe everything in this book or else," just "place no other gods before [him]", there's literally no way believing that god is the invisible hand behind evolution is blasphemous, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, having mangled Aquinas and Keynes, I'm going to wander off.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Amazing creatures they are, absolutely amazing.

The Platypus is proof that God drops acid.

The Platypus is simply a beautiful byproduct of random mutation and natural selection.

By the way, did I have you fooled? I want to roleplay a creationist when labs open up this week.

I didn't actually see where you were trying... so, I guess not...

-

-

Oh, in the other post.

Yeah, I don't know, it did set off my bullshit detectors, but that has more to do with this venue than your content. Honestly it bugs me that so nobody considers compromise on the subject. We have evolutionary data on how things evolved, but it's depressingly rare to find a christian who will say "evolution is God's tool" or something similar. It's always "evolution is a lie by sinners" (or something similar) or people stay oddly quiet on the subject.

Hmm I consider myself a true Christian and I strongly believe in god, but the whole "evolution is gods weapon of choice" makes the most sense. It has the facts of science behind it, and it explains how it all started. If that makes me a sinner, then I'm gonna be sitting in hell.

Nah, you won't be sitting in hell for that, it'll be for this:

'People play video games because they wish to be some gladiator or robot and have a meaning in life because they are really sad, small and depressed in real life'. Girl said in my english class.

I would have called her a *****, straight to her face.

But, in all seriousness, extreme fundamentalists have always rubbed me the wrong way. You're probably fine. I'll loop back go Aquinas for a moment, if God hadn't intended for you to use reason, he wouldn't have given it to you. It's a valid explanation that balances out your beliefs with the available evidence. Also there's no commandment "thou shall believe everything in this book or else," just "place no other gods before [him]", there's literally no way believing that god is the invisible hand behind evolution is blasphemous, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, having mangled Aquinas and Keynes, I'm going to wander off.

***** isn't the only thing but idk what offends people alot so I stuck to a safe word.

 

[Starke]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Amazing creatures they are, absolutely amazing.

The Platypus is proof that God drops acid.

The Platypus is simply a beautiful byproduct of random mutation and natural selection.

By the way, did I have you fooled? I want to roleplay a creationist when labs open up this week.

I didn't actually see where you were trying... so, I guess not...

-

-

Oh, in the other post.

Yeah, I don't know, it did set off my bullshit detectors, but that has more to do with this venue than your content. Honestly it bugs me that so nobody considers compromise on the subject. We have evolutionary data on how things evolved, but it's depressingly rare to find a christian who will say "evolution is God's tool" or something similar. It's always "evolution is a lie by sinners" (or something similar) or people stay oddly quiet on the subject.

Hmm I consider myself a true Christian and I strongly believe in god, but the whole "evolution is gods weapon of choice" makes the most sense. It has the facts of science behind it, and it explains how it all started. If that makes me a sinner, then I'm gonna be sitting in hell.

Nah, you won't be sitting in hell for that, it'll be for this:

'People play video games because they wish to be some gladiator or robot and have a meaning in life because they are really sad, small and depressed in real life'. Girl said in my english class.

I would have called her a *****, straight to her face.

But, in all seriousness, extreme fundamentalists have always rubbed me the wrong way. You're probably fine. I'll loop back go Aquinas for a moment, if God hadn't intended for you to use reason, he wouldn't have given it to you. It's a valid explanation that balances out your beliefs with the available evidence. Also there's no commandment "thou shall believe everything in this book or else," just "place no other gods before [him]", there's literally no way believing that god is the invisible hand behind evolution is blasphemous, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Now, having mangled Aquinas and Keynes, I'm going to wander off.

***** isn't the only thing but idk what offends people alot so I stuck to a safe word.

In all fairness it is just the kind of willful ignorance that sends me up a f---ing tree. As for insulting someone? Yeah, that takes more knowledge of who they are really.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

In all fairness it is just the kind of willful ignorance that sends me up a f---ing tree. As for insulting someone? Yeah, that takes more knowledge of who they are really.

I just know that if I was god I wouldn't be dicking around. You kill somebody, BOOM hit with fuckin flamin lightnen. None of this jail and parole bullshit. Go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect 200$

 

[stone0042]

The one I heard/saw was in my Bio30 class (Grade 12 Biology for all those who might be wondering), the teacher had an overhead and it was about calories and carbohydrates. Then we get to this little passage, "One calorie is one kilocalorie is equal to 1000 calories" I don't know why but I find that particular piece of fail to be quite amusing.

I believe that's correct...
One Calorie (note the capitalization) equals 1000 calories, which is one kilocalorie.
That might be me being really dumb though...

no, that's definitely right. What they were saying is that what we refer to as a calorie on the nutrition facts of a food item are in fact kilocalories, or 1000 calories. I don't know why we do it, though.

Teacher: "Semen has some glucose in it."
Student: "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
Teacher: "Probably because you've only gotten it in the back of your mouth."

I just pissed my pants.

No way that actually happened. If so, I'm moving to your school.

 

[Starke]

Teacher: "Semen has some glucose in it."
Student: "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
Teacher: "Probably because you've only gotten it in the back of your mouth."

I just pissed my pants.

No way that actually happened. If so, I'm moving to your school.

I remember hearing that story, 8 years ago? I'm guessing no, not real.

 

[SnowCold]

HAHA..school strt only on Monday here ::: IN YOUR FACE!!!

Anyway,

-Tell me a vegeatable, the teacher said.
-The apple, my stupid coleg said
-LOL! said the class

7th grade

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF you! I'm learning from the first of september! T_T
Where do you live?

 

[Dragon-Byte]

A girl in my class today asked if Napoleon was a midget.
When asked, she said that he lived in Spain, and that he had a high voice.

Didn't he have that whole "midget" thing thrust upon him by lieu of being badmouthed by his enemies?
I recall reading something that was roughly of that nature.

Edit: Nevermind, found the facts.

ya he was actually like 4' 8'' or something , but apparently that was REALLY short back then

 

[Dragon-Byte]

E=mc2
haha! as if energy and the speed of light could have anything to do with mass or be relative to... the ... uh...
...shit....

 

[Wolfenhawk]

"Why don't we invade Egypt and take all their oil?"

Sad...

 

[Mr36]

(halfway through our Government class)
The class is sitting quietly, studying. One particularly thick girl just suddenly tosses her book on her desk and shouts "I just don't understand politics at all!"

"Politics" pronounced "Poll-it-ticks"

 

[Eisenfaust]

retrospectively, being told for 4 years that contrifugal force was really really important...

then being told at the start of yr 11 that there's no such thing, that they made it up so they wouldn't have to explain it...

WHY?W!W?W?W?!?W?E?R>T<:KJWEPO!!!!

 

[GigsVigilance]

One time in Algebra 2, like 2 years ago, my girlfriend was feeling sick so she popped in one of those Hals menthol action throat lozenges.
She kept it in the back of her mouth but then started to get bored so she started to suck on it. after a minute, she hit the little menthol gel reserve. It made a tiny pop and the sorta yipped, I turned to her to ask what's up, my 3rd favorite conversation ever ensued.
Now you gotta understand, She is a WELL endowed innocent asian girl.

Me: What happened?
GF: I don't know it sorta burst.
Me: Huh?
GF: I was sucking on it and it burst warm and sticky in my mouth!
Me: Eh...(Face Palm, slide hand over mouth)
GF: What?
GF: I was just sucking on it kinda hard and it burst in my mouth?
Me: (Head desk, Breathing heavy, pinching nose as to not to snort)
GF: I don't get it?
GF: why is their so much?
GF: What's so funny about my sucking on it hard till it burst in my mouth?
Me: *GASP* (lungs spas-ming, face red and sweaty)

Kids near me looking to see what's up, Teacher ignoring me even though I'm in the front row
I had to explain it to her after class, That's not the only time either.

 

[Lolcano]

A laptop was making an annoying noise.
Some chick says: "unplug it from the wall"
Mega fail right there.

 

[Pigeon_Grenade]

i had one girl in Math Class Get Excited And start asking What Flavor and where were the paper plates and plastic forks- when the Teacher Mentioned Pi

 

[logiman]

Romania b-)

 

[Iskenator67]

How do you spell orange?
Who was Adolf Hitler?
Can I divide by zero?
Most of these were asked by frat boys who tried to be funny but they were just retarded.

 

[deathless14]

how bout this we were siting in history class and the teacher asked what colony was the battle at yorktown in and this one girl raised her hand and said asia. the whole class eruped in laughter and then i got a dention because my laugh was the loudest.