Elderly Woman Pokes Cable, Cuts Internet Access in Three Countries

[LCP]

She holds the internet ransom for 1 million dollars

Cue to picture of Dr.Evil

 

[Thaluikhain]

This happens to be why when you go digging for metal, you use a metal detector.

Hey? How would that tell you there was a fibre optic cable there?

Also, isn't this exactly the sort of thing the internet was designed to be protected from, due to it being decentralised and interconnected and all?

 

[C_Topher]

Q: What does the internet in the Soviet Union have in common with the internet in Canada?
A: They're both ruined by gold diggers!

HEY-O!

Major lolz to you, my good sir (madame?).

Anyways, I give it one week before the Chinese government starts sending grandmothers to dig up internet cables after they hear about this.

 

[Liquid Paradox]

"temporarily released for "old age."
Nice, I think i'm gonna wait until 75 to rob all the banks in the world.

Haha, good idea!

"Listen here, sony! Put all the money in the bag, and no one gets hurt!"
"Sir, the year is 2062... we haven't used cash in this country in nearly 30 years"
"Aww, dag nabit"

 

[Ironman126]

Talk about 'data mining'
*snap*
There it is

You sir, are going to pun hell for that. But it's not all bad, Shakespeare will be there with you, so at least you won't grow board.

But I might grow bard

I really should have seen that coming.

 

[Boba Frag]

Talk about 'data mining'
*snap*
There it is

...Oh no you didn't

(I actually did LOL at that)

Ah, I feel a revival of In Soviet Russia jokes coming back in all their proletariat glory!
For The Motherland!!

 

[LCP]

She holds the internet ransom for 1 million dollars

Cue to picture of Dr.Evil

Thank you, so much... *tips hat*

 

[KalosCast]

Also, isn't this exactly the sort of thing the internet was designed to be protected from, due to it being decentralised and interconnected and all?

To prevent people from getting disconnected to it? No, that's literally never been in the design. As a structure, the Internet has always been quite fragile.

Those copper-looters need to go collectively kill themselves. Not far from where I used to live (it was a bad neighborhood) a bunch of them looted the piping in a house for sale. The gas piping. The house proceeded to blow up with debris damage nearby houses and breaking windows at larger distances. The only reason nobody got injured was because it happened early enough that nobody was outside.

 

[Ravek]

Yeah - fiber-optics may be awesome but they are not infinite Chuck Norris awesome. I don't see how a single fiber optic cable could supply one entire country, much less three of them. At least not without some serious lag. Talk about trying to shove 20 pounds of shit in a 2 pound bag...

You grossly underestimate the bandwidth of a fibre optic cable connection. There are only like a dozen cables between Europe and North America, each a few centimeters thick. There is absolutely no reason why a single cable thin enough to cut with a spade couldn't supply three million connections.

 

[godfist88]

3 years in jail? that seems a little harsh for a 75 year old women don't ya think?

 

[Slim-Shot]

Wow, thats awesome, i should start digging now!
Wait, they get fiber optics over there? i should move there, and get better gaming connections!

You may notice the part where a single fiber optic cable carried the internet for over 3.2 million people.

Yes, its also called "New Zealand".

 

[Mrsoupcup]

Well now I've seen everything. Next thing people will be telling me they saw a bear mining coal.

 

[samsonguy920]

Prison? For real? At worst she should only be facing a fine. She could serve the guys who repair the line tea and cookies.

Wow, thats awesome, i should start digging now!
Wait, they get fiber optics over there? i should move there, and get better gaming connections!

You may notice the part where a single fiber optic cable carried the internet for over 3.2 million people.

That's still more than what most of the US has to deal with. The old lady should have been digging over here for copper wire.

Goddamnit, this shouldn't happen as often as it does, remember that incident with a boats anchor severing some lines?

Not sure if it still does, but when the original Trans-Atlantic line was laid, they often had to repair it because sharks would attack it because of some effect it had on them. Considering this happened before submarine travel was as practical as it is now, I don't see the big deal they are making over an old lady accidentally cutting an underground line that should have been better maintained.

 

[Swifteye]

When technology inept old people goes BAD.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

This sounds like a sketch comedy skit.

 

[Biosophilogical]

In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

In Soviet Russia, old lady screws you! Dear god, I need brain bleach!

I lol'd. Harder than I should have.

OT: Crazy old people and theirs shovels. Get with the times! We use 'spades' nowadays.

 

[51gunner]

Apparently the internet is not shovel proof.

And three years in prison seems more than bit excessive.

Well, the consequences of depriving that many people of internet are more dire than just cutting off people's gaming connections. Think of all the purchases and business deals that might have been interrupted by that. Anyway, they're letting her off presumably because she was old enough to have no idea what the hell it was.

Oh yeah:
In Soviet Russia, old ladies DDOS you!

(Also, I really hate captchas)