Embarrassing sex-related stories

[Bara_no_Hime]

Various incidents of having just tied up/handcuffed/otherwise severely bound my girlfriend and then someone knocks at the door. The scramble that follows is terrifying to experience, but kind of funny afterwards (aside from my girlfriend's muted growls of murderous rage).

Fortunately, I haven't had THAT happen. Yet.

There was that one time I was preparing a surprise for my boyfriend at the time. I was going to handcuff myself to his dorm bed so he'd find me like that. I was figuring out logistics and was testing out the best location (while fully clothed, with hours yet before he would get back) and I dropped the key... out of reach. It took me nearly half an hour to contort myself enough to reach out my foot and drag the key back into reach.

But that wasn't the story I was going to share. ^^;;

Okay, so the actual story.

I was on a first date. We were on a hiking trail, one that wound up the side of this gorge. We found this bench along the trail where we could see bother directions fairly well, and it was very scenic. We ended up making out there... and then more than making out. Since no one was around, we moved into second base and towards third.

And then we heard clapping and cheering. There was no one on the trail though... until we looked up. Turns out, the trail cut back overhead. A few hundred feet up, a group of six hikers was getting an eyeful of my tits.

After getting my shirt back on, we beat a hasty retreat down the trail, back to the car. At the time I was super embarrassed, but looking back it was pretty fucking funny. ^^

 

[FURY_007]

Well I was hooking up with a girl freshmen year of college. We were in her room going at it, she starts giving me a BJ, both of us were stark naked, and all of a sudden her roommate walks in with friends. She started to frigging freak out and what not, so I grabbed my boxers and shorts, and bolted lol. That was kinda embarrassing cause holy shit was I close to finishing. Looking back on it it was rather funny, I wonder what my expression was, but man was I blue balled lol

Hmmmmmm...nothing else really too embarrassing, but my ex and I were having a particular horny? lovely? physical? day, basically I woke up and she surprised me by being stark naked and grinding on me. So we did the deed, and went to go take a shower. Things of course started to heat up, and so we end up pausing the shower, and started doing the deed on the bathroom floor Meanwhile, some friends apparently walked in to my apartment cause my roommate let them in, and apparently they could all hear our wet bodies slapping against the bathroom floor, and so my nickname is, Thumper lol.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Many years ago, in 12th grade, for reasons that I can no longer recall, my girlfriend and I thought it would be a good idea for her to attempt to give me a hand job under the desk during English Lit.

After class, the teacher called us aside and calmly let us know that he thought it would be best if, for future classes, my friend Dan sit between us.

Good guy teacher, but still mortified.

 

[WolfThomas]

Err so many of these are so good. I once tried carrying a girl to my bed, she wasn't heavy, but I hit her head on the door frame quite hard. She didn't leave or complain, bless her heart.

 

[Kathinka]

didn't happen to me but involves me xD

there was this party once in highschool. everyone was fairly drunk, and my boyfriend thought he'd pick me up and go into one of the rooms in the house.
he gets busy undressing me and his thoughts go something like: "huh, strange. her belly button piercing has a blue gem in it. could have sworn it was yellow..and..wait. she's scratchy..but today in the morning she was smooth..OH SHIT!"
as it turns out, he picked up my twin sister and dragged her into one of the rooms, and she was so blitzed she didn't realize what was going on and didn't protest xD
good thing he left the lights on^^
he told me about it right away and it was an honest mistake (even our own mother has only an about 50% hit rate in telling us appart :-/ ), so i wasn't mad at him. quite the opposite actually, he could have proceeded and i'd probably never have known about it, but he chose to confess it to me instead^^

 

[Vern5]

There was that one time where a previous girlfriend and I had just finished having sex and were talking about... something. Anyway, we were both naked with only a bedsheet for the both of us when her roommates broke in and attacked us with Nerf guns. Not so embarrassing as shocking.

Then there was that one time with a different girlfriend where we were having sex in her living room when we heard her roommate trying to open the door. Cue the mad scramble for her bedroom and then slamming the door as hard as possible. Her roommate figured out what had happened pretty quickly.

Or how about the time with a completely different girl that we were having sex with one of her windows open. I told her that was a bad idea but she wasn't the brightest star in the sky so she couldn't comprehend my logic. My logic was this: She is a screamer and you can map out her orgasm by taking audio clues. I knew this. She knew this somewhat. The guys outside who heard her and started cheering my name (probably because she liked to shout that too) discovered this as well.

Finally, there are my overseas adventures. I was in Taiwan with a few friends and one of them was having a birthday party. I met a girl there and we hit it off pretty quickly. Our little birthday party group ended up going to a local club so me and aformentioned girl decided to get drunk and dance. We ended up making out a little on the dance floor but I figured we were well-hidden by the pressing mass of Taiwanese teenagers all around us. That is to say, we WERE well hidden until all of those Taiwanese teenagers discovered what we were doing and suddenly backed away from us like we were foaming at the mouth. The asian girls had their hands to their mouths with this group expression like "you can do that in public?" The guys were more supportive, though. One made eye contact with me when I started looking around for where they all went. He grinned and gave me two thumbs up.

Later on, with this same girl, I tricked the birthday girl out of her apartment keys so we could head back somewhere comfy. Ended up having sex in someone's bed. Not sure whose but the girl said we were allowed to use it. The birthday group came back later that night while were still having sex thus began another mad dash to look as innocent as possible so we could let them into the apartment.

Good times.

 

[Blackmagic1515]

Wow, some of these are good.

I don't have that many myself. The first one was when I first tried doggy style with my ex and my vagina suddenly made a weird farting noise. Ended up having a 10 minute giggle fit and completely ruined the moment. Made it up to him later though.

The other one, more embaressing, was when we were going at it and right as I finished I let out a LOUD fart. This time he ended up laughing for ages afterwards.

 

[Findlebob]

I once noticed that my girlfriend wasnt really moving much while we were at it. I felt her breathing so i was satisfied she wasnt dead but right after that she started snoring.

FML

 

[BlindTom]

I once impregnated a female and then made her get an abortion. WHOOPS.

 

[DazZ.]

And iv learnt the mute button is my friend.

Similar note, don't leave your music on shuffle.
Thankfully it was something I could work with.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

What are your most embarrassing sex-related stories? They can be about masturbation or anything. I remember a while ago, I found this website or something that was entertaining to read through the cringeworthy and sympathetic, yet hilarious stories, so I thought it'd be nice for people to share.

Just going to say, particularly on this sort of thread, it's considered good manners for the OP to get the ball rolling with their own story...

I honestly don't have any embarrassing stories to tell. I'm a virgin, and so far, the closest I've come to being caught masturbating is when I'd just finished and was cleaning up, when my mother came into my bedroom for something. So I had to quickly shove my wet tissues and lotion bottle under my pillow as I hurriedly pulled up my trouesrs, just in time.

 

[aba1]

Not really a sex story but my friend once wrote "Ginger porn" on the tape we were using for our movie and so when I gave the camera back to my mom I forgot to remove the label and she gave me that most WTF look ever. Ohh ya I forgot the mention I am a red head.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Not really a sex story but my friend once wrote "Ginger porn" on the tape we were using for our movie and so when I gave the camera back to my mom I forgot to remove the label and she gave me that most WTF look ever. Ohh ya I forgot the mention I am a red head.

**giggles** Ginger porn. ^^ That really is pretty funny.

Anyway, since the thread has drifted towards embarrassing stories about OTHER people - particularly walk ins, I'll share another one.

Sophomore year of college, I was coming back from an art class early. I had my headphones on and was listening to music. I got to my dorm room... walked in... sat my art bag down... turned around...

And got an eyeful of my roommate riding her boyfriend. Her eyes were closed, so she didn't notice me, and I couldn't hear her/them over my headphones. My roommate was normally very modest - I'd never seen her in less than bra and panties before. Gotta say, she looked very nice totally naked. Also, I'm pretty sure she was either about to orgasm, or had just started, considering the expression on her face.

I slipped out of the room right about then. Never did tell her that I'd walked in on her. However, I left my art bag in the room, so... I have no idea if she realized I'd walked in on her and her boyfriend.

 

[Wolfhowl the shadow lurker]

someone at my collage told me about a freind of his who had sex with a big girl and stuck his whole hand up her backside

true story

as for me... never done anything

 

[aba1]

back in highschool bunch of freinds asked if I had "hooked up with a guy yet"....

...I had not...

..it was embarassing

I remember in highschool there was this one chick who asked me if I had ever made-out with a girl. I had not and she give a giant huge laugh in my face. Fast forward 8 years I have strong prospects as a indie game designer going into the work force as a multimedia designer with a great girlfriend of 6 years and she is a high school drop out with 2 kids and no job living off well-fare. Funny how things change XD

 

[Cpu46]

Oh, and you're now going to wonder in the back of your head for the next while how your dick compares to a toilet paper roll. You're welcome.

Don't have to wonder. Had that experience before, except in my case I attempted to compare the roll after I had gotten an erection. Needless to say, it didn't fit very well.

OT: Aside from the toilet paper roll fiasco I haven't had many masturbation or sexual encounters that stood out.

 

[twaddle]

2 occasions....make that 3

when me and my girlfriend first started getting active and i was going down on her for the first time on the stairs and her youngest brother glanced at us from down the starway.

The second time was when she was horny and i was half asleep on the sofa and she had only a shirt on and proceeded to start riding me out of nowhere while the same brother was dead asleep watching youtube...at night....3m away. (the sofa computer was 3m from where we were.

I same problem as #1 but on a sofa next to her second eldest brother who asleep. He wasn't that asleep and woke up partially and stared dead at us -_-.
Dear God i need my own place

 

[Luke3184]

Removed

 

[GoddyofAus]

2 occasions....make that 3

when me and my girlfriend first started getting active and i was going down on her for the first time on the stairs and her youngest brother glanced at us from down the starway.

The second time was when she was horny and i was half asleep on the sofa and she had only a shirt on and proceeded to start riding me out of nowhere while the same brother was dead asleep watching youtube...at night....3m away. (the sofa computer was 3m from where we were.

I same problem as #1 but on a sofa next to her second eldest brother who asleep. He wasn't that asleep and woke up partially and stared dead at us -_-.
Dear God i need my own place

I feel worse for the brother. Imagine waking up to see your little sister having a root.

 

[Zipa]

My mother in law let herself into my house once without knocking while my wife and I were going at it on the sofa in the lounge. Needless to say said mother in law GTFO of there really fast.

We just laughed and carried on though so it wasn't a total disaster.