Epic fail flirting stories

[Insert Comedy Here]

Don't know if this counts but...

Walking right past a group of girls that were pretty much screaming out my name, not the best way to endear yourself to the women.
Also, I was listening to my Mp3 player at the same time, at decently loud volume, so they must have been screaming 'blue murder' for me to be able to hear and ignore them.

 

[gewuerzgurke]

I was in a bar in France with some friends. We saw a really good looking guy, and as he was talking french to his friends, we supposed he was french, and talked in german about how extremely hot he was. At some point he turned around and said "oh, so you're from germany aswell?" That was VERY embarassing. It turned out that he was half french half german. Nevertheless we spent some very funny nights with him.

 

[Trivun]

singing to a chick while under the influence is a horrible way to go.

Only if you're bad at singing. It worked when I sang a disney song to one girl.

If it's from the Golden Age then any Disney song is straight away acceptable. Provided you can sing. If so, then go for it... (starts humming Circle of Life)... hmmmmmmmm

Ahem.

Anyway, moving on. I don't have any funny stories because I'm too shy to chat girls up, I usually wait for them to make the first move. Which usually never happens. The one time I did make the first move it went well until the girl in question had to go back to her home in Scotland. Fortunately we're still friends though

However, I did once muck things up with one girl who was actually the ex of another friend. I'd actually met her only once before when they were together, then we got in touch when they split up. Anyway, she came over to my house once and we went out, but again my crippling shyness kind of drove her away. I really need to get some more self-confidence...

 

[T3h Camp3r T3rr0r1st]

I walked into the room saying "...then I saw her tits"


yeah...

 

[dwightsteel]

singing to a chick while under the influence is a horrible way to go.

Only if you're bad at singing. It worked when I sang a disney song to one girl.

If it's from the Golden Age then any Disney song is straight away acceptable. Provided you can sing. If so, then go for it... (starts humming Circle of Life)... hmmmmmmmm

Ahem.

I know for a fact that "A Whole New World" is effective. And I won't go into details, in what is probably the most humiliating episode of my life. Just take my word for it: You can't go wrong with "A Whole New World".

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I had a friend who started flirting with this girl who sat next to him in Geometry (Becuase it always happens in Geometry.) Anyway he gets shot down multiple times. After about two weeks of trying he came into home room one day looking like he saw a ghost. He tells me that he went to a family party and found out that the two of them were related.

Basically he spent two weeks trying to hook up with his cousin.

 

[Emeli]

Walking over to a girl and getting hit in the face with a football halfway there.

I can one up you. While I was lost in my crushes eyes and he was smiling at me a dog came out of nowhere, knocked my knees out from under me and then slobbered all over me while I lay ont he ground.

 

[Dyp100]

I had a friend who started flirting with this girl who sat next to him in Geometry (Becuase it always happens in Geometry.) Anyway he gets shot down multiple times. After about two weeks of trying he came into home room one day looking like he saw a ghost. He tells me that he went to a family party and found out that the two of them were related.

Basically he spent two weeks trying to hook up with his cousin.

Oh God. >.> That must be horrible.

I've got a GF and never flirted, I fail, but I love these threads.

 

[Erana]

Once, I was sitting outside of the coffee shop, my nose in my school books, and this guy kept trying to talk to me in this almost stuttering tone. I'd been in a bad mood that day, so I kept shrugging him off, agitated. Eventually he tried to extend his arm for a handshake and he knocked my hot tea onto my lap. I left, flustered, and didn't say a word.
Apparently the poor boy was a friend of a friend, we had actually met before (I thought he was just trying a bad pickup line), and he was just trying to ask me to go to a gallery downtown to go see a local band I had voiced some interest in.
Fail from both parties... >.<

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I had a friend who started flirting with this girl who sat next to him in Geometry (Becuase it always happens in Geometry.) Anyway he gets shot down multiple times. After about two weeks of trying he came into home room one day looking like he saw a ghost. He tells me that he went to a family party and found out that the two of them were related.

Basically he spent two weeks trying to hook up with his cousin.

Oh God. >.> That must be horrible.

I've got a GF and never flirted, I fail, but I love these threads.

Actually it gives me a little thing I can hold over his head.

 

[Hikikomori Ookami]

Being nice.
Seriously.

I was turned down 9 times last year for being nice. Not creepy nice, or overly nice, or whipped. Just average nice. Goodbye, self-esteem.

I hate hearing that one. Used to happen to me all the time too, then I turned into a bitter ass hole (from unrelated events) so at least I don't hear that anymore.

 

[Fulax]

Last year a friend of mine walked up to a girl in a bar on a student's night out. They got talking and she asked him what he was studying. He said Computer Science. She immediately walked away.

 

[Antlers]

I used to tell people I did Science instead of Engineering. Unless I thought I'd like to progress our relationship beyond that drunken night in the pub.

 

[Dottie]

Card tricks are a great way to get into a conversation with someone your interested in, they grab attention, sometimes impress and allow you to break the ice so to speak.

You just have to use them to get things going and then move on from there.

Sounds like you read that straight out of a book. It doesn't work that way...EVER.

 

[Evilbunny]

Hitting on my friends 15 year old sister once, in my defence I was a tad drunk and she was wearing a lot of makeup.

She has to be 18 by now though right? Or just move to Canada with her lolz

Excuse me? Are you implying that Canada is some kind of redneck state? I'm sorry, but you're looking for the country that's way south from here.

No, he's implying that in Canada the age of consent is 15, which was true until last year. I think it's 16 now.

 

[Golden Gryphon]

Being nice.
Seriously.

I was turned down 9 times last year for being nice. Not creepy nice, or overly nice, or whipped. Just average nice. Goodbye, self-esteem.

I hate hearing that one. Used to happen to me all the time too, then I turned into a bitter ass hole (from unrelated events) so at least I don't hear that anymore.

Girls do not turn down guys because they are too nice. They turn them down because they are too boring. If you can manage to be nice and interesting and exciting at the same time they will flock to you.

 

[Oneirius]

Tarot crads. Very very pathetic.
And the most amazing thing?
It might have actually worked, because she asked ME out six months later.

 

[Emperorpeng]

I'm oblivious to flirtation, my friends usually point it out later on, after the fact.

Apparently girls like me more than I'm aware of.

There was one incident where a friend of mine was over watching a movie, along with some other friends. Everytime something funny happened she would laugh a little too hard and nudge me, one time she collapsed into my lap laughing...THAT was obvious, but unwelcome...

 

[Antlers]

Tarot crads. Very very pathetic.
And the most amazing thing?
It might have actually worked, because she asked ME out six months later.

Did you forsee that she would ask you out 6 months later?

 

[Thespian42]

Ah, yes. I remember this one time I found a really hot Latina girl at a water park, and spent like two hours trying to figure out the best way to approach her.

So, after a long, long day, I went up to her and asked:
"Do you speak English?"
"No."


...Whack the Frog.