Epic fail flirting stories

[Eclectic Dreck]

I once used the line "Set phasers to stun-ing!" (said in your best Pauly Shore impersination) on a pair of nice looking young ladies in a car. The car in question was a convertable. The top of said convertable was down at the time. After exchanging a subtle glance at one another, they both turned and looked straight ahead and without saying a word, rolled up their respective windows. The top of the convertable was still down.

That said, I didn't expect it to work but I was a bit suprised at just how badly it failed.

In my own experience, flirting really only serves to broadcast one's interest and a pickup line at best might serve to get a laugh. All you really need is something that gets a conversation started. "Set phasers to stunning" probably isn't a good way to go - just saying hi and introducing yourself works well enough.

 

[Oneirius]

Oneirius:
Tarot crads. Very very pathetic.
And the most amazing thing?
It might have actually worked, because she asked ME out six months later.

Did you forsee that she would ask you out 6 months later?

All was as planned.

 

[Hikikomori Ookami]

Yea but if I start calling myself boring and worthless then people start talking about self pity and such.

I guess talking about my bottle cap collection within five minutes of meeting someone is a bad idea...

 

[Lynx]

Haven't tried to pick anybody up that way. Though I have been picked up by someone else in funny ways. F.ex. when I sat waiting alone on a bench passing the time by reading, a dude walks up, sits next to me and asks what I'm reading. After I answer he asks if it's any good. After I answer that he asks what time the buss leaves. Next he asks if I have a boyfriend.
A very bizarre situation where I come from.

 

[Ray De Ation]

"Oh, surely a guy like you [i ]must[/i] have a girlfriend..." as the girfriend was walking up behind me and heard the whole thing. Whoops. Always scan the room first...

 

[quiet_samurai]

I once hit a a girl that was the friend of the girl I just broke up with. She foound out who i was after she came to my lace and saw a picture of us on my PC. I use the screensaver that just displays random pics I have saved. She was sitting there all close to me with one of her legs over my lap and just happens to glance at the screen and sees her friends face. She was all like "Oh my god! how do you know Amanda?" It was akward, and she left after that.

I've had other doozies though, usually just typical drunk guy trying to get laid type of stuff so it's not that special.

 

[hidden walls]

once was trying to get over a ex by flirting with random guys

well after a few drinks i find a guy and like him alot so we go to his house

only for me to walk into the door and notice it was my ex's

needless to say i ran away very fast

 

[Jharry5]

A girl came up to me in a club once and said something to me. I couldn't hear (and was slightly drunk) and asked her to repeat what she'd said. This happened about four more times; the last one she rolled her eyes and walked off. A friend had to tell me afterwards that she was interested.

There are others (got quite a talent for non-flirting), but that's possibly the worst...

 

[Jirlond]

Being nice.
Seriously.

I was turned down 9 times last year for being nice. Not creepy nice, or overly nice, or whipped. Just average nice. Goodbye, self-esteem.

I hate hearing that one. Used to happen to me all the time too, then I turned into a bitter ass hole (from unrelated events) so at least I don't hear that anymore.

Girls do not turn down guys because they are too nice. They turn them down because they are too boring. If you can manage to be nice and interesting and exciting at the same time they will flock to you.

Apparently so....

 

[Fairee]

singing to a chick while under the influence is a horrible way to go.

Only if you're bad at singing. It worked when I sang a disney song to one girl.

Mustafa? Is that you?

I kid, the only reason I say that is because my friend sung A whole new world to a girl.

He's not a great singer. And you better sound like Usher/Gareth Gates if you're singing that to a girl.

I can honestly say that the Cap'n is a brilliant singer. Trust me, he'd make it work...

singing to a chick while under the influence is a horrible way to go.

Only if you're bad at singing. It worked when I sang a disney song to one girl.

If it's from the Golden Age then any Disney song is straight away acceptable. Provided you can sing. If so, then go for it... (starts humming Circle of Life)... hmmmmmmmm

Ahem.

Anyway, moving on. I don't have any funny stories because I'm too shy to chat girls up, I usually wait for them to make the first move. Which usually never happens. The one time I did make the first move it went well until the girl in question had to go back to her home in Scotland. Fortunately we're still friends though

However, I did once muck things up with one girl who was actually the ex of another friend. I'd actually met her only once before when they were together, then we got in touch when they split up. Anyway, she came over to my house once and we went out, but again my crippling shyness kind of drove her away. I really need to get some more self-confidence...

You're not the only one, I've never flirted with anyone in my life. I automatically assume I'm gonna be rejected, and that's never let me down before....

Actually, it would help if I knew what counts as flirting. I've never really got the difference between casual friendly chat and trying to get someone to date you...

 

[systhicsfg]

I'm not to good with that whole business.

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

I can honestly say that the Cap'n is a brilliant singer. Trust me, he'd make it work...

Is that a fact? Hmmm, he'll be useful in my empire, I need a singer. Now all I need is a Jester and a Sage...

 

[Fairee]

I can honestly say that the Cap'n is a brilliant singer. Trust me, he'd make it work...

Is that a fact? Hmmm, he'll be useful in my empire, I need a singer. Now all I need is a Jester and a Sage...

As long as you're not sexist, I can be a sage. Something about my calm relaxed and thoughtful aura...

 

[Xerosch]

Walking over to a girl and getting hit in the face with a football halfway there.

Oh God... This is tragic, but it made me laugh... sorry...

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

I can honestly say that the Cap'n is a brilliant singer. Trust me, he'd make it work...

Is that a fact? Hmmm, he'll be useful in my empire, I need a singer. Now all I need is a Jester and a Sage...

As long as you're not sexist, I can be a sage. Something about my calm relaxed and thoughtful aura...

Oh there shall be no sexism in the new world. Sexism will get you the death penalty. In fact, msot things will get you the death penalty, you'll get a list on induction day.

 

[Pegghead]

I think you may have just convinced half of the escapists members to become Canadian citizens.

 

[Aesir23]

Blegh, too shy to flirt so no epic fail as of yet. Though currently people are trying to get me hooked up with my sister's ex-boyfriend which is rather weird.

 

[Pegghead]

I don't flirt or even try to go out with girls that much(hell I always get so nervous that I can never bring myself to organize something with a girl) but most times I try I'm successful as I'm a great people person. But there was this one time about a year ago. For a while I'd been summing up the courage to ask out this girl I liked from my primary school who now went to the high school next to mine and I saw(and still see)her every day at the busstop. I was gonna ask that afternoon but word had gotten out to just about EVERY idiot in my year and one of them actually raced over to the busstop after school and told her I wanted to ask her out. I have a feeling it wouldn't have been so awkward if he hadn't done that but she didn't respond when I got there and one of her friends (who I also knew) said She wanted to think about it. Does it really take over a year now to come up with an answer. Though I still pass by her every afternoon and just say hello as I walk past her to my bus.

 

[Rigamortiz]

Some really attractive woman started talking to me when I was getting a drink in a club once, she bought her drinks, and wandered off. I eventually got served, then went back to the raised platform to do my usual terrible drunk raving, with my friends. I was like, right on the edge of the raised platform, and saw her dancing on the normal dance area, and she saw me, and headed straight for me, came danced with me, took me outside, was all over me, and I was too much of a pussy to make a move. Epic fail on my behalf. Got her number at least... Was meant to meet her the next night in Rock City, but, I wasn't drunk enough and walked straight past her (while following one of my friends to the rig), therefore even more epic failage. Luckily I've grown a set since then

 

[matnatz]

I used to be an ugly little fella. Since, I've grown into my face, the girls that knew me when I was younger, some of them are kicking themselves now. Especially since the guys that were "well fit" then, have mostly turned out to be buggers.