I smiled when I first saw what the review of the day was going to be, thinking "Bob, you poor bastard I feel so bad for you." Seriously, much respect on having to sit through this dross! You... you are so damn courageous!
And is it just me, or does Kristen Steward always look stoned? As a matter of fact, doesn't Robert Pattinson also look stoned all the time? I dunno, every time I see a picture of either, I have to wonder how long it took to fan out the smoke before the shoot.
klaynexas3 said:
SilverUchiha said:
I just want to say that if they rewrite the final movie (Breaking Dawn Part 2) to be that Bella gives birth to Blade (Wesley Snipes in particular) then the franchise might be worth a damn because then we all know they will die a terrible death at the hands of a more set in mythos vampire... who also is a badass.
well if the baby came out as Blade, then clearly the rest of the movie wouldn't be about how Blade will kill them all; it will be about the controversy of Bella cheating on Edward so soon with a black man. and then we'll get some Mormon message about how only men can have more than one spouse and women need to stay in their place and in the kitchen.
That just made my day. Someone needs to take over the next film and just do that and tell Stephanie Mayer to go get a boyfriend (who doesn't think he's a supernatural creature).
I watched this last night with my girlfriend (and by watched I mean fell asleep and woke up to talking wolves), and I must say from the wolfy bit onwards it was better than the others I had to sit through. Though that is like saying being kicked in the leg is being kicked in the nuts, at the end of the day I am still being kicked.
wait 2 parts?
damn i thought we were finally done with this! oh well... one more and its finally over... right?
but do not despair folks some vampires are still awsome! just look at this:
Failed spambot is fail.
Nobody likes that movie here.
Enjoy your ban Mr. Spambot.
Anyway... i dunno, i'm not going to watch this movie, but that's besides the point... i felt this review is a bit lack-luster, almost like i can feel that you're just getting tired of these... then again, you did actually state that
What is the actual explanation for them sparkling in the sun? I like to think it's the corpse juices trickling out of their sweat-glands when they are exposed to UV light.
It's not like the vampires could actually move about being dead and all. There's the certain amount of suspension of disbelief involved.
There's no reason why someone just couldn't write that vampires can reproduce sexually, but if the mythos within the series is contradictory and nonsensical, and changes depending on what needs to happen in the plot, it's more noticeable.
A lot of vampire stories had gone with vampires being born like any other species, sometimes also including the route of people turning into them.
Blade and Discworld books come to mind.
And even half-human half-vampire dhampires are common.
The vampire mythos can differ a lot between different sources and stories anyway, and a lot of it is quite recent addition.
As for the sparkling, I like the idea of the sun not being fatal as such for the vampires, but exposing them as non-human, and even the idea of them gloving in the sun is kinda good, but since Meyer can't write it comes off as silly (and is difficult to pull off well in a movie) especially with the Edward trying to commit suicide by exposing his sparkles to people and stuff.
My wife and one of friends have gone to the movies to lampoon them, and she came home last night particularly amused by the werewolves. She also highlighted her transformation into a vampire as going above and beyond in the realm of nonsensical cinematography, although she did get have a laugh when Bella arches her back and it makes it look like her bust is expanding.
Apparently there were a large number of kids in the 10 and under range who were brought to the movie. Given the sex scenes and gore this disturbed her more than a little.
Actually I already saw it. there is this awesome french hitman living in new york and then the unclassifiable lizard monster smashes up a lot of buildings in new york, then a really dodgy looking cgi giant ape turns up and ice skates and accidentally smashes the statue of liberty. Also there were some eggs And Charlton Heston screaming "they really did it" before a quick cameo by Marky Mark when the ape gets captured by that blond douche from Harry Plopper. No Del Toro though. Some guy called Smithee is credited though I believe David Lynch took time from his busy schedule in Cleaveland but would not put his name to the credits or something. You know come to think of it it sounds awful familiar, but probably still won't be as bad as the Mario movie... wait a minute the shadowy red and blue blur jumping on Lizzie after the end credits might not have been Superman!!!!!
For anyone who actually read these books, does the last book really need two movies? Yes I get it, the last book is a thick one, but I only raise this question because it only took less than 2 years to push out 3 movies and now it seems like they will take more than 3 years to deliver only 2 movies.
What? That's crap. The idea that they can make more money from splitting a book in half is just ridiculous. Still, I'd like to hear from someone who read the books to know for sure if it is justified.
I've read the books, and no ... there is no justification at all for splitting them.
That last book is undoubtedly the worst in the series. Not just because they got progressively worse as they went on, but because NOTHING HAPPENS in the last book. Oh yeah, there's some of the stuff you've heard about (violent sex, pregnancy, etc), and could be considered interesting if you enjoy being disturbed. But that all happens in the first half. That second half of the book is a complete LETDOWN. Without any specific spoilers, it's just a complete build-up to something that could be decidedly epic, just for it to end like "ho-hum never mind ... and they all live happily ever after".
Either they're going to pad this movie with shit that didn't happen (which would HELP) or they're going to work the hell out of the source material (like something you'd originally cut HAS to stay in order to meet time quota).
They split it in two for the money. I think Harry Potter is guilty of the same thing honestly, but at least Harry Potter is GOOD. Twilight is shit.
Thanks for the input. I'm surprised that they even went beyond the first book. Flippin' Twihearts; they ruined a perfectly good opportunity to create a meaningless phrase by taking this damn book series seriously.
My mother, sister, friend and cousin all went out of town to see this. I basically live in the middle of nowhere, the nearest movie theater being two and a half hours away. They drove 150 miles. For Twilight.
Seems legit.
To be honest, the only Twilight I enjoy happens to be a fictional cartoon character. But I digress.
Oh, and how much do you wanna bet that if Mystery Science Theater 3000 were still around, they would tear through that easier than tissue paper? I'd give money to see that happen.
Alright, alright. Let me get something out of my system...
Bob, I've always admired the way you stand up for us geeks and you make the most reasonable arguments when it comes to games and geek culture/fandom and I love your educational videos (Big Picture) about random stuff and a half.
Having said that, I think I'll disagree with you when it comes to this being a terrible movie. But here's why.
(For future purposes: I have read all of the books. I'm not a Twilight fan, though I enjoyed reading the 4 books simply because I love to read. I've watched the movies because I like to do the whole book-to-movie comparison, just like I did with the Harry Potter movies.)
Yes, the first Twilight movie was...bad. The acting was horrible, the story seemed to go nowhere, the whole thing was anti-climatic, the script was cheesy...the only good thing about it was the soundtrack. Well, half of it. But anyway, as the series gained popularity, the movies have got better. Not awesome, just better. As we all know, what kills it really is Rob's brooding personality and, like you said, Kristen's invisible personality. Yes, I know they're acting based on their character's personalities (Edward and Bella), but anyone could have done a better job at it. What saves the movie is everyone else's acting, especially Charlie's (Bella's dad).
Back to topic; the movie was okay. It didn't go along with the other ones that, again, like you said, are more focused on teen drama and gooey lovey dovey scenes about the perfect handsome yet mysterious guy romance with the awkward and common teen girl with a monster crush on said guy; basically every teen girl's fantasy. That's its flaw: continuity.
On the other hand, and yet again, like you said, most fans are already graduating high school. I think its good that they're being exposed to this more mature film. Change is good and hey, if you liked the past 3 movies/books, you're gonna like the next two no matter what. It was a bold move by Meyer and I'm fine with it.
Another good thing about the movie? It remained loyal to the book's story unlike its previous adaptations. I really appreciated that. Not only that, but the movie has drama, actions scenes, romance, fights, an easy plot and a good soundtrack. Hey, hey! I'm not saying they're awesome! I'm just saying they're okay!
Look, the bottom line is that I don't think Breaking Dawn was as bad as Bob made it seem. Perhaps the movie is more targeted towards either a younger audience or people who just don't care about watching a random movie that's not gonna win an award but its still good. I think I'm part of the latter. Yeah, Bob, I'll agree with the fact that the wolf scene was quite something. Pity because if it wasn't for the badly animated wolves, this scene could have been interesting; it's an important moment for Taylor's character, Jacob. But hey...they stayed true to the original book.
And yes, the fight scenes got on my nerves because they could have been amazing, yet all the movies do the same mistake: Huge, badly animated wolves vs. super fast and blurry vampires. It's hard to keep up! And it sucks because, come on, werewolves vs. vampires? How awesome does that sound?! And yet, it's all just a big blur.
But overall, I like how the story was handled. It ended up just as...
Bella gave birth to her daughter and transformed into a vampire
...and it left you wondering what's gonna happen next. As a bonus, in the book, that's exactly where she starts narrating the events again; Jacob was the one who narrated her entire pregnancy. So like I said, it's not an awesome movie, it cannot be compared to something like Harry Potter BUT I think it's fun to watch. I mean, if you in there expecting to watch a 5 star movie, then you're probably gonna be pretty disappointed. But don't do that. Come on, have some fun. Forget about all that. Just watch the movie. Or listen to the soundtrack, at least.
PS: As far as pushing gender roles, yes, I'll admit there's something wrong not just with Bella, but with Edward too. She has a monster crush on him and will do anything for him. He is completely addicted to her to the point where he stalks her all the time. So yeah, they're perfect for each other. And although Bella does things that can be considered submissive, I don't see why every time a girl decides to not kick ass, it is seen as submissive and 18th Century-like. Just because a girl might like the movie doesn't mean it secretly reflects her lifeless personality and secret desire to be dominated by a guy. Again, just enjoy the movie!
Now, for some interesting comments/questions that might or might have not been answered and I just couldn't resist myself because I am that bored right now:
Thunderhorse31 said:
My wife's friends begged her to go see this with them, so she did. She said that apparently there were people on line at 2 p.m. to get into the midnight showing. So yeah, ten hours. Sitting in line. For Twilight.
I believe it completely. I work at a mall where Twilight was showing at midnight. Some lady walked into my store and commented about being the second one in line for the showing. And she had to get there at 3pm. So yes...this foreshadows Black Friday.
lord.jeff said:
Nope, something as popular as Twilight is going to get a game.
Amazingly...the only game that has been released that's even remotely close to Twilight is Scene It: Twilight or something like that. Nothing else based on the movies/books has been released. I guess we all know this couldn't possibly work in so many ways.
CrimsonBlaze said:
For anyone who actually read these books, does the last book really need two movies? Yes I get it, the last book is a thick one, but I only raise this question because it only took less than 2 years to push out 3 movies and now it seems like they will take more than 3 years to deliver only 2 movies.
Don't really know if this is just a sad attempt to extend the the longevity of this series, trying to squeeze out more earnings for a book that could have been told in one movie, or if the book really is full of important context that needs to be properly addressed in two movies
I've read them. The book covers a lot of things and it's basically divided into two parts: Bella's life before her pregnancy and Bella's life after the pregnancy. The first half of the book is mostly narrated by Jacob and Bella, and the second part is narrated by Bella only. At some point, it almost feels like two separate books because her personality changes drastically and she faces new dangers and meets new people and stuff like that. So I guess for fun's sake, it's better if they divide the book into two parts. It would be easier to understand for those who didn't read the books.
Or they just wanted to ride the Harry Potter train and extend their popularity. Either/or. Although...I would have preferred for HP to be a single, long movie because Deathly Hallows's plot never falls flat or grow boring, so divining the book's plot in half feels weird to me. But I know it would be impossible to have a 5 hour movie...so whatever (Althought it's been done before *cough*).
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