Escape to the Movies: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

[Kenbo Slice]

My mother, sister, friend and cousin all went out of town to see this. I basically live in the middle of nowhere, the nearest movie theater being two and a half hours away. They drove 150 miles. For Twilight.

Seems legit.

To be honest, the only Twilight I enjoy happens to be a fictional cartoon character. But I digress.

Oh, and how much do you wanna bet that if Mystery Science Theater 3000 were still around, they would tear through that easier than tissue paper? I'd give money to see that happen.

Your prayers have been answered:

It's Mike Nelson and the other two guys from MST3K riffing on Twilight, they also have Rifftrax for a bunch of other movies

 

[MBE]

How far in the toilet does your career have to be that you were the director of "Twin Peaks" and "Dune" and now you're the voice of a bartender in a cartoon series? Isn't that one step above doing pr0n? Or doing a Twilight movie?

 

[wehrp3nguin]

Before watching this: Me >> Why Bob, why?!
After:
Bob >> "Go see the penguin movie, that's why!!"
Me >> My sisters and nieces are gonna bug me about this movie when I see them Thursday.

 

[Mettking]

Every time someone mentions the penguin movie, I think of this video.
OT: sorry you had to watch another one of these, just one more to suffer through.

 

[BreakdownBoy]

??What we learn in this all-pain/no-pleasure episode is that marriage feels like a life sentence, weddings are miserable events, honeymoon sex is dangerous and leaves a bride covered in bruises, and pregnancy is a torment that leads to death in exchange for birth. Also, during pregnancy, families fight like werewolves and vampires. Way to go, [young adult] message.? ? Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly


It's funny how two different critics can find two complete opposite messages in the same movie, both of which support their criticism.

This just lends more credence that Bob really didn't make an effort to review this movie because he was more interested in playing a game about a plumber in a Tanaki outfit.

 

[triggrhappy94]

Aww so many memories. It's weird to think that I'm part of the group of people graduating this year. I've never seen any of these movies or read any of the books though.

 

[willgreg123]

David Lynch is in The Cleveland Show?! Not a guy who sounds like him, but the real deal, AND he's actually a reoccurring character?!

Well damn, I guess I have to watch that now... Seriously, if I had been drinking something when I read that, I'd be cleaning my monitor from the inevitable spit take.

 

[maconlon439]

Hey Bob-o. Here's the deal. You didn't need to do this. I get it! You think the Twilight series sucks! I'm not disagreeing. I've never seen any of the movies or read any of the books. I'm just saying your points don't need reiteration. I was actually really hoping you'd focus on the penguin movie this week. That's an opinion I'd be interested in hearing. If when Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out, a more interesting movie comes out the same weekend. Feel 100% free to review that movie instead.

 

[Gyrefalcon]

Well, maybe there will be some action in the last film? Thanks for taking the hits we don't want to.