Escape to the Movies: Expendables 2

[DjinnFor]

Expendables 2 doesn't take itself too seriously, what with the Chuck Norris cameo making Chuck Norris jokes, of all things, and Arnold Schwarzenegger complaining about the movie having too many cameos.

The intro section of the movie played like a parody of old action flicks, from the over-the-top ridiculousness of the events that actually took place, to the cringe-inducing guttural screams and cheers that the cast produced over how badass they were, to the absurd contrast between their expert marksmanship in any situation and their foes complete inability to hit the broad side of a barn.

Expendables 2 is simultaneously an indulgence of old, tired action tropes and a parody of them.

 

[chiggerwood]

Go see and formulate your own opinion!!!

I loved this movie for what it was: a campy, action flick with awesome one-liners, and a host of (now aged) action stars. Don't go into this expecting ANYTHING but what it is, and I think you'll enjoy it.

Addendum: I don't get the critical slaughter of this series... This is a tongue-in-cheek, self-referential action film. THEY REFERENCE RAMBO DIRECTLY for fuck's sake!!! This was not TRYING to be a critical success. It doesn't take itself seriously. I just don't understand the mentality being listening to a critic with a movie like The Expendables.

To me it strikes of watching a porn and then complaining about the abundance of sex and lack of plot, and in reference to movie bob mentioning the internet's hatred of his first review. He missed the fucking point harder than a blind hooker on her first customer.

 

[leviadragon99]

Heh, channelling a bit of Yahtzee this time methinks, liking the use of the names of some of the actor's other roles throughout the review.

And despite myself and everything you've said here... I'm darkly tempted by this one due to the return of Schwartzenegger...

 

[Therumancer]

"The Expendables II" was a lot of fun, and honestly I don't know many people who didn't enjoy it. This was a quality product that did exactly what it set out to do. Critics who slam a movie like this might want to re-examine what gives them the right to be critics given that they are kind of out of touch with the people their opinions are supposed to be in sync with.

That said, I do kind of see why Bob doesn't like this given what he's said in his other movie reviews. Arguably this is a movie pretty much glorifying the "real men" and mainstream points of view that he feels belittled by and spends a lot of time speaking in opposition to. That and I think his somewhat boggling anti-US comments criticizing movies with a pro-American stance (god forbid anything be Pro-US) as being for those who "don't know any better" or existing as something to only appreciate ironially, sort of makes him opposed to well.... pretty much anything remotely like this, or the movies that inspired it. Granted "The Expendables" *is* politically neutral as opposed to pro-American, but Bob seems unable to get over earlier works that did have a pro-American point of view.


That said, he is entitled to his opinion, and given his other reviews, The original Expendables in paticular, I suppose you can at least say he's fairly consistant here. Personally I'm kind of surprised he bothered to review it given that he seems to have had to have seen it at his own expense.

 

[Yeager942]

I'm curious what exactly is different between this movie and the campy schlock of the 80's. Keep in in mind that I loved the campy schlock, and I've yet to see Expendables 2, but what really separates the good "bad" of old movies with the bad "bad" of this new one?

For example, I saw the original Total Recall recently and despite everyone's claims that it was better than the new one, I have to disagree. They were both terribly mediocre and missed the ambiguity of the original Phillip K. Dick story.

 

[PunkRex]

Im a big fan of yours Bob but your previous reveiw of the Expendables did make me feel abit off. Don't get me wrong the first two acts of that film were just so much fluff but your reveiw really did seem like a rage dump (maybe it was) but its good to hear you take it back abit for this one, really enjoyed it even if I proberly am still going to see it.

I like it when you stay classy Bob... w-wait, did you just tell me to watch Domino?... oh for fu-

 

[Baldr]

I hated the first Expendables, was dragged to this one. I liked it, it was funny, not very serious and good action scenes(Bob is wrong), especially for old men, and they were doing their trademark moves.

 

[kaizen2468]

I laughed my balls off and had a good time doing it. I also went on tuesday so it was cheap so I'm calling it a win.

 

[fnartilter]

I think I remember the first movie. Actually I don't. I remember a vague blur of explosions, and the only reason I really remember it is because the title is hazed as this great action movie. Oh yeah, I watched it at home, and while I watched it I got so bored I made myself a second breakfast, ground 6 ounces of coffee, and pulled myself an americano on the espresso machine. I also got this vague feeling of wanting to work out.

Right now I imagine in six months time when this movie is released on dvds and netflix, I'll get it, and be bored of it just as quickly.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

Heh, channelling a bit of Yahtzee this time methinks, liking the use of the names of some of the actor's other roles throughout the review.

And despite myself and everything you've said here... I'm darkly tempted by this one due to the return of Schwartzenegger...

It's not so much a return as a "why the FUCK are you still doing this?" These guys should have retired from the action racket awhile ago.

 

[Simonoly]

I love this review. It reflects exactly my own feelings on the two films. I want to love them so much, but they're just horrible.

The Expendables franchise should have been a wonderful cheesy homage to the greatest action stars of the 80s. But it missed the mark by quite some way. I was expecting a "shit but good" couple of movies, but what I actually got was just shit.

Expendables 2? Pfffft, more like Missed Opportunities 2.

 

[smaggy]

Maybe the 80's mentality can't be recaptured because of world events since that time tweaking our mentality to represent the now. It's sad, but perhaps we'd be better off with an 80's action movie marathon over a weekend with beer, pizza, chips, etc. Then we can get back to the salt mines of our tattered lives.

 

[Nurb]

The critic predicted the outcome of the Expendables 1 and 2 in the 90's

 

[Joey Bolzenius]

Haven't seen this one, but the first is plagued by ridiculously bad editing, super fast cutting. Oh and Arnold looked big, and not muscle wise.

 

[Blueruler182]

This movie made me want to see RED again. I liked the first movie, I disagreed with Bob's opinion of that movie, but I did not like this one. The older movie had fun with the type of movie, this one went shameless. Throwing the odd catch phrase in? I can take that, it's all good fun. Two action stars throwing catch phrases back and forth at each other? I cringed.

 

[TheHardcase]

Randy Couture being called a never-was is just.. that term doesn't seem to apply here, in my opinion. A never-was is, to me, more like someone who has been acting for a while and never made it big at all. Not someone who got too old for his day job and decided to do a shitty movie.

 

[Redd the Sock]

I like this one better than the first. At least it had 10 non consecutive minutes of entertainment whereas the first one was dull, dark and blocky for the whole thing. I mean, the first 5 minutes were decent, and the stuff at the end with Arnold and Bruce and all the Chuck Norris stuff showed that someone at least got what the whole series should have been (even if the jokes were lame). Doesn't quite make up for the remaining 80 minutes of Stalone being mopey between far less choriographed action scenes.

And there I think is the crux of the problem. They aren't trying to make a dopey action movie, and somehow keep getting roped into this poor attempt to humanize the paid mercenary. Letting them have fun for too long might cut away the aura of guilt and isolation they're trying to paint on Stalone. Going the other way might work too, but you'd need real writers, actors, and characters you know by name not by actor. Instead we get Stalone waxing poetic about how people near him could get hurt so he doesn't let people in like he's channeling the emo of 50 years of Spider-man comics, secondary cast that has less to do this time than the last movie, and a cheap shot backstory about friends in the army dying due to trying to limit civilian casualties.

Sorry, but when it comes to big, dumb and pointless action, I'd rather re-watch Avengers.

 

[Rabidkitten]

This movie isn't for me, but I would assume one must leave expectation at the door.

 

[Caverat]

I gotta say at least Bob tried to say why this wasn't a good film. His review of the first was just kind of a tirade about how people who shop at walmart are why things suck or some such. Translation: Pretentious hodgepodge.

Also, I forget, is it cool or not cool to buy coffee from Starbucks? Bob will definitely have his finger on that pulse.