Escape to the Movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Kids Deserved Better Than This

[Screamarie]

I've heard, though never seen an original source, that Michael Bay once said that he made movies for 13 year old boys, so sue me....or something to the effect....and I wish I could Michael. I really wish I could sue you. Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with making movies for 13 year old boys. Big action scenes, awesome fights, badass heroes, explosions, even toilet humor, GREAT! Awesome, go do that Michael!...but why does that also mean there has to be racist fuckers in your movies? And bland, useless women? And what the FUCK is with making Mikey a horny asshole?

The thing that I adored about TMNT, between the movies and the cartoon (never got to read any of the comics), was how NICE these guys were. I wanted to hang out with the turtles! What made them so interesting was that it was so unfair that they had to live in the sewer because they were cool dudes, who gives a shit that they were reptiles? Yeah, Raphael was a dick at times, Leo was a bit up his own ass, so and so on, but these were GOOD people and Splinter made that so. Yeah this was a rat raising four turtles into ninjas, but he was also a dad raising his sons to be good pe....err...turtles. Splinter taught them, guided them, lectured, and even punished if necessary.

I grant that I haven't seen the movie yet, so what the hell do I know?, and I am working off a big dose of nostalgia here, but at least by what Bob says, these would not be the turtles that Splinter would raise. Splinter, in previous iterations, raised the boys to be smart and respectful....not horndog bros.

I don't mind seeing changes...rework it, make it awesome, it doesn't HAVE to stay true to the original. Hell Splinter doesn't even have to be a part of it, if you don't want! I wanted to go see this, I wanted it to be good!...but I don't HAVE to want to go see it, it doesn't have to cater to me, because this was made for kids and kids will see it. Boys and girls both and just like when I was a child, they're going to want to hang with the turtles....except now parents wouldn't want the turtles around their kids, and that's just sad.

 

[faefrost]

Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.

Apparently the best way this franchise that was derived from a comic book works is in serialized form. Gee who would've ever guessed that? In all seriousness though I have been curious about the new show. While I watched the old Turtles in the early 90s because I was born in 91 the ones I connected with and enjoyed the most were the 2k3 turtles. When I saw images for this new cartoon I didn't think the 3D looked all that impressive and was kind of disappointed that it looked the like the humor skewed way low. Should I give it a shot?

The animation and art style takes few minutes to get used to. After that you don't notice it. The closest approximation is The Clone Wars show. The writing and humor is surprisingly subversive. With a darker and wittier edge than you will be expecting. Yeah there is some stupid, it is a kids show, but it doesn't dumb anything down. And has some real dark elements. (Pay attention to what happens to every human character that come in contact with the turtles.) it's one of those rare shows that you can enjoy with your kids. The voice acting is top notch. The main characters are perfectly presented and the overall chemistry in the cast is great.

 

[Swarmcrow]

hahahah aahh poor naive bob...you thought and hope this film could be anying else other than a headache .... and now you are mad at Michel bay for being Michel bay.. and doing the stuff Michel bay does ... what you are saying right now, i've been claiming it from day one after the first transformer film .... but the truth is ..we deserve Michel bay ...we deserve because even thought we know his films are big pile of degenerated horse sh17.. we go and pay see them

say all you want but..... by this point Michel bay has prove his point .... the masses have no taste or dignity about the crap they watch.. they are either too ignorant... too uncaring ... or they are simply hypocrites

it wont surprise me if this new tmnt becomes the next transformer franchise and we get to see 6 more of this things

buy hey... maybe if we teach or kid the difference between superficial art and deep cultural art ..we wont have to live in a future where this is still a thing

 

[KazeAizen]

Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.

Apparently the best way this franchise that was derived from a comic book works is in serialized form. Gee who would've ever guessed that? In all seriousness though I have been curious about the new show. While I watched the old Turtles in the early 90s because I was born in 91 the ones I connected with and enjoyed the most were the 2k3 turtles. When I saw images for this new cartoon I didn't think the 3D looked all that impressive and was kind of disappointed that it looked the like the humor skewed way low. Should I give it a shot?

The animation and art style takes few minutes to get used to. After that you don't notice it. The closest approximation is The Clone Wars show. The writing and humor is surprisingly subversive. With a darker and wittier edge than you will be expecting. Yeah there is some stupid, it is a kids show, but it doesn't dumb anything down. And has some real dark elements. (Pay attention to what happens to every human character that come in contact with the turtles.) it's one of those rare shows that you can enjoy with your kids. The voice acting is top notch. The main characters are perfectly presented and the overall chemistry in the cast is great.

Good to hear that. I'll add it to my back log. The 2k3 Turtles had, to me, the perfect balance of mature meets kid friendly. While this new series seemed to skew way younger. I hear Beast Boy's voice actor so I know they got at least one quality voice. I'll check it out.

 

[Logience]

Jeez, Bob sounded really reserved in this review. I'm guessing it's because of the "If I have emotions, then everyone will call me biased" train of thought.

 

[Westonbirt]

To hell with those who say "BIAAAAAS".

This rag has 20% on RT.

Guardians has 90%.

He's not an outliar, he's in line with everyone else.

 

[Westonbirt]

Jeez, Bob sounded really reserved in this review. I'm guessing it's because of the "If I have emotions, then everyone will call me biased" train of thought.

They call him biased already.

 

[Dandres]

I can only hate a little bit on people who made these movies only because you can tell that they have no idea what they are doing/what the movie is about or care about how the movie will turn out.

I hate on all the people that pay to see these movies in theater. Using the excuse ?I just wanted to see how bad the movie is going to be.? is no excuse to see it in the theater. Your money is just going for the justification of a sequel of crap. But this is the world we live in and I now believe cartoons should not be made in to live action movies.

On side note for those who have not seen ?Turtles Forever? go see it now. That is my favorite from the franchise.

Also the in the trailers the new turtles looks like they are going to die any minute, crushed by the weight of their shells.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

We didn't even need this reboot. From all the reports I have heard, the new cartoon is FUN, it is filled with interesting characters and funny gags, and embodies everything good about the series.

Why did we need this? WHY?

 

[MCerberus]

I like that this round, Marvel studios has provided me the simplest response to Bay defenders. Everything made in the movie's defense can be refuted by saying "Guardians."

Hopefully this extends to countering the "they make a lot of money so someone likes them" play.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.

Let's really consider this all for a moment.

Spoiler: A film, which cost $125 MILLION dollars, with THREE different writers, is worse, than the cartoon that airs on the same channel as this

HOW DID THEY SCREW UP THIS BADLY?

 

[MCerberus]

We didn't even need this reboot. From all the reports I have heard, the new cartoon is FUN, it is filled with interesting characters and funny gags, and embodies everything good about the series.

Why did we need this? WHY?

This happens the same reason every bad reboot happens.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

But... you are biased... Bob...
That is normal though.

What's not normal is calling people who point this out "blithering idiots". I suppose Bob felt somehow threatened by that.

Every month or so I decide to give Bob another shot at movie reviewing. Am I being incredibly unlucky or is he really is this biased/intolerant?

Actually this is a great review. It explains not only that the movie is a big bottle of suck-o-la cola, but why.

Seriously, the world needs more reviews like this.

Juvenile retorts like that notwithstanding?

 

[darthdenim]

Bob and Doug are both better than Confused Matthew.

Check out his review of Guardians of the Galaxy.

http://blip.tv/confused-matthew/gurdians-of-the-galaxy-general-review-7007021

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

We didn't even need this reboot. From all the reports I have heard, the new cartoon is FUN, it is filled with interesting characters and funny gags, and embodies everything good about the series.

Why did we need this? WHY?

This happens the same reason every bad reboot happens.

Of course.

But considering excitement for this film wasn't particularly high to begin with, and negative word of mouth will be coming, I do not think the studio will get to have, moneey.

 

[Vivi22]

Transformers (apart from ROTF) isn't even that bad. People are just blinded by nostalgia. And because of that they see Michael Bay has an Involvement and all of a sudden everything bad with the film is put on him. NO. Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Galen Walker, Scott Mednick and Ian Bryce are as much to blame as Bay this time around.

Firstly, all of the Transformers movies are bad (haven't seen the most recent one since it won't be on TV for a while, but I am capable of spotting a trend). The first was the least bad of them all, but it wasn't good. The second was an abomination, and the third managed to be at least as bad because the movie didn't even make sense and the action was as much shitty Michael Bay directing as we've generally come to expect from the man.

Second, just because there are more producers than Michael Bay does not mean you can say that they're all as much to blame as he is. It is simply extremely unlikely that you have the requisite knowledge of the films production required to say who had actual creative input, and who just opened up their wallet to fund the thing. But since Michael Bay is the only one of the Producers I ever remember talking about it in the media, safe to say he was probably pretty involved what with being a pretty major Hollywood figure, and the fact that the usual stink of shitty story, shitty CGI, shitty acting, and shitty directing permeates this movie that also permeates all of his other licensed stuff (and a lot of his unlicensed stuff honestly). If he really isn't the producer most responsible for this, I'd be shocked since it's got his particular brand of awful written all over it.

 

[Ashley Blalock]

Transformers, GI Joe, Star Trek, Turtles the trend is pretty clear at this point that no one at Paramount Studios with an ounce of power or pull gives a damn about making a good update. Cash in on a pop culture name with bad films and hope people don't realize how bad the Paramount films have gotten.

If you want a good movie based on something you once enjoyed then you aren't going to get it from Paramount.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

We didn't even need this reboot. From all the reports I have heard, the new cartoon is FUN, it is filled with interesting characters and funny gags, and embodies everything good about the series.

Why did we need this? WHY?

This happens the same reason every bad reboot happens.

Of course.

But considering excitement for this film wasn't particularly high to begin with, and negative word of mouth will be coming, I do not think the studio will get to have, moneey.

Which indeed contradicts the whole idea of gaining money. If you want something to make money then make a quality product. A good movie has a better chance of gaining back your investment than a crappy movie. I wouldn't be surprised if the movie bombs but it makes back money due to merchandising and video sales. Still, it probably won't make the studio happy.

 

[Buizel91]

Transformers (apart from ROTF) isn't even that bad. People are just blinded by nostalgia. And because of that they see Michael Bay has an Involvement and all of a sudden everything bad with the film is put on him. NO. Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Galen Walker, Scott Mednick and Ian Bryce are as much to blame as Bay this time around.

Firstly, all of the Transformers movies are bad (haven't seen the most recent one since it won't be on TV for a while, but I am capable of spotting a trend). The first was the least bad of them all, but it wasn't good. The second was an abomination, and the third managed to be at least as bad because the movie didn't even make sense and the action was as much shitty Michael Bay directing as we've generally come to expect from the man.

Oooh goody! A TF Movie hater. My favourite kind of prey.

The TF films have done nothing different than the cartoons did 30 years ago. Cheesy dialogue, annoying humans and plots that make you raise an eyebrow and shout "WTF DID I JUST WATCH"!

The "the action scenes are all over the place" arguments are ridiculous. first of all, i have the attention span of a Goat surrounded by a bunch of moving Carrots, but i can follow them perfectly, i can see who does what and who died with no problem.


Shitty action you say? This is from ROTF. which yes is the worst film, but the fighting scenes are glorious. If you can't follow this and get confused, then i suggest sticking to the new Spongebob film when that comes out.

In the years that the TF movies have been out i have not seen any plausible reason for someone to hate these films. All the problems that have been thrown around are custom to the TF franchise. While i agree that ROTF is awful, it's by no unwatchable.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Well at least now its a two horse race between hwats more terrible, The Amazing Spiderman or this.

And really, I don't understand megan fox as a choice at this point. Well, I do shes eye candy in the most bland way possible, but if youre trying to say you want the female to be empowering and above her sex appeal, I feel like you ould hvae done better than fox, since sex appeal is her only note.