Escape to the Movies: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

[Arkhangelsk]

Wow, Twilight has done the impossible for being a scary "horror" (it isn't by any means, but is technically listed as such) movie, not for the monsters (though it is scary how they made A GIANT BATTLE BETWEEN WEREWOLFS AND VAMPIRES A HUG FEST), not for trying to break us menatly with its imagery, but for the message is trying to hammer into our brains.

I don't believe that video games cause violence. I don't believe that gay people can't be good parents, teachers, or anything else. But Twilight? It is one of those things that has the power to change the thinking of its target audiance, the 14 year olds that are just hitting puberty, but still have childhood memories of Prince Charming. It is only going down hill from here folks... you know what is are two things that are going to happen in the next movie?

Spoiler

One, (this is minor enough to be cut from the movie, but you know how many girls have read the books?) a girlfriend is going to get ripped to shreds by her werewolf boy friend, but stay with him because, I am not kidding here, "he lost control, but still knows he loves her."

Two, Belle is going to get pergnet with Edward's child and is going to decide to keep it, EVEN THOUGH HE RAN OFF AGAIN AND THE BABY HAS A HIGH CHANCE OF KILLING HER ON DELIVERY!

Can somebody honestly tell me that they want their child to read this? Or watch this?

I'm getting the message about what Stephanie Meyer's political views are.

 

[LawlessSquirrel]

I don't watch the Twilight movies, I know better, but when I saw the Eclipse trailers on TV, all I could think was something along the lines of "Yay! Can't wait to see Movie Bob's review!"

 

[flightofeternity]

I don't really understand why these books and movies are popular. I hardly think its a woman thing like most people say, many of my female friends hate them just as much as I do and for the same reasons, I really do not see any redeeming values in this!

 

[Migratingchimp]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha Shiny Emo Vampires Are Corny. (SEVAC)I say this should be used in the same way Rofl and Lmao are. New word for the dictionary = Sevac

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Wow, Twilight has done the impossible for being a scary "horror" (it isn't by any means, but is technically listed as such) movie, not for the monsters (though it is scary how they made A GIANT BATTLE BETWEEN WEREWOLFS AND VAMPIRES A HUG FEST), not for trying to break us menatly with its imagery, but for the message is trying to hammer into our brains.

I don't believe that video games cause violence. I don't believe that gay people can't be good parents, teachers, or anything else. But Twilight? It is one of those things that has the power to change the thinking of its target audiance, the 14 year olds that are just hitting puberty, but still have childhood memories of Prince Charming. It is only going down hill from here folks... you know what is are two things that are going to happen in the next movie?

Spoiler

One, (this is minor enough to be cut from the movie, but you know how many girls have read the books?) a girlfriend is going to get ripped to shreds by her werewolf boy friend, but stay with him because, I am not kidding here, "he lost control, but still knows he loves her."

Two, Belle is going to get pergnet with Edward's child and is going to decide to keep it, EVEN THOUGH HE RAN OFF AGAIN AND THE BABY HAS A HIGH CHANCE OF KILLING HER ON DELIVERY!

Can somebody honestly tell me that they want their child to read this? Or watch this?

I'm getting the message about what Stephanie Meyer's political views are.

What? The political view of Bizzaro Loony land?

 

[Vrach]

And you know what's the most terrifying thing about this? I just checked out Metacritic. The Twilight "Saga": Eclipse has an average rating of

[HEADING=1]58.[/HEADING]​

Fifty-fucking-eight.

What little hope I had left in the majority of movie critics is now lost forever.

You do of course realise that 98% of things between 50 and 60 there is marked as pure shit? Reviewers that have a 1-100 thing very rarely give a below 50 rating. Especially to something like this. To translate a 58 for you, it means "it will appeal to a number of people but it's still shit".

Anyway, another Twilight movie - I feel like Lenard from BBT when Raj tells him there's a 6th season of Sex and The City. Speaking of which... I shall pray for thee, poor Bob, although if Escapist even mentions it just point out that everyone who wanted to see it has saw it and literally everyone has deemed it awful, even the crowd that enjoyed the first one.

 

[Cosplay Horatio]

This is all that I will see of Twilight Saga from now on cuz my wife wanted to see the previous two...ugh. To me the description of how bad the Twilight Saga has been can be summed up in one of my Motivational Photos;

Spoiler: twitards photo

Yeah, it's that bad for me.

 

[historybuff]

And this is why I hate it when guys make the assumption that young girls or young women either love Twilight or Sex in the City.

They're both worthless. Thank you, Moviebob, for acknowledging that women aren't idiots.

Twilight is sick. It's just sick.

Hopefully Avatar: The last Airbender will be a much better film (although...you know. Being that it's a movie based off a series and its by Shamalamadingdong---okay, so I don't really have any hope. but who knows.)

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I don't think Twilight "is drilling" anything into anyone's heads, but rather reflecting a frightening and unspoken sentiment that already existed among teen girls and grown women. That's why it's so popular. Society seems to dictate to girls that good looking men are always worthwhile, even if they're abusive and creepy. I think Chris Rock said that women think that sexual harassment is okay, so long as the guy is hot.

I place the overvaluing of virginity on our good friend the double standard, refusing to die off. Women love to call each other sluts and whores to show superiority to someone they don't like. I can't help but think this ties into the abortion debate a little bit. Ask a woman why she thinks abortion is wrong, and she'll tell you that a girl should have to live with her mistakes if she wants to sleep around. Such an attitude is sickening and ridiculous, but Twilight didn't put it there.

And the marriage thing? Chicks dig weddings.

 

[swolf]

I hate Twilight for what it's doing to vampires....

Ah, I'm not going to try to avoid directly advertising something but I will say that *sips some Tru Blood* that there is a series where the *sips some more Tru Blood* vampires are bada$$es which don't sparkle. Also, I believe that Stephenie Meyer blatantly ripped off that other series...that's my opinion based on reading both series of books. There's quite a few similarities...and the other series came out first.

 

[c0rzilla]

I'd like to think I have a relatively unique view or perspective on the whole Twilight thing. I actually was in a relationship with a guy whose homicidal urges I had to control. Or I thought I did since I was in the midst of about three years of emotional abuse. He was my first boyfriend, and I was ignorant and inexperienced. I went through the whole "Oh, you're the only light in my life. Without you I'd do x horrible act. Save me!" thing. This series is quite hurtful and insulting to real victims of abuse. Thankfully, I grew a spine and the ex is now behind bars.

 

[Loonerinoes]

Now this - THIS is an awesome review.

Seriously, although every now and then I still rewind the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review or New Moon, the main reason why I do it is for the lulz. Sure, there are good observations hidden within them both, but it just gets drowned out by how upset Bob got and I can't help but chuckle uncontrollably about it all.

But this kind of review actually makes a very concise, balanced, even-tempered and relevant point for why this movie (and the phenomenon behind it) really are bad - because it's drilling horribly outdated ideas into its audience, that should not be considered as even remotely relevant in these times.

 

[Meggiepants]

Okay, first off, I don't like Twilight. I want that said before anyone acuses me of being a fan who just doesn't like this review. I actually thought the review was mostly fair.

But I think I have to disagree with the whole, "Twilight is going to mess young girls up." I think Bristol Palin is the best evidence I have to why that just isn't true.

While books do have power, on that I will agree, they generally have to be well written enough to actually cause social change. Meyer's words are hollow, shallow attempts to push a philosophy. A philosophy, by the way, that parents and religion have been trying to push for ages now.

The problem is Twilight, religion, parents and abstinence education all have to contend with the grand daddy of all boss fights: Sex. It doesn't matter if you grew up in an ultra catholic household, if the right person crosses paths with you, ain't nothing going to stop you from bedding them.

As to the thought that women will now enjoy stalkers... I don't think so. First of all, women who enjoy stalkers did so before Twilight came out. Second, stalkers don't look like Edward Cullen. They look like this guy:

Spoiler: crazy stalker

I'm not saying I like the message either, but give women a little credit here. We might read crap like Twilight when we are 13, but by the time we hit college, we are well aware that virginity ain't all it's cracked up to be, and that men who creep us out are the kinds of people we avoid.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

That was one of your most vicious reviews I've seen. Good job, rip Twilight a new one.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

Wow, Twilight has done the impossible for being a scary "horror" (it isn't by any means, but is technically listed as such) movie, not for the monsters (though it is scary how they made A GIANT BATTLE BETWEEN WEREWOLFS AND VAMPIRES A HUG FEST), not for trying to break us menatly with its imagery, but for the message is trying to hammer into our brains.

I don't believe that video games cause violence. I don't believe that gay people can't be good parents, teachers, or anything else. But Twilight? It is one of those things that has the power to change the thinking of its target audiance, the 14 year olds that are just hitting puberty, but still have childhood memories of Prince Charming. It is only going down hill from here folks... you know what is are two things that are going to happen in the next movie?

Spoiler

One, (this is minor enough to be cut from the movie, but you know how many girls have read the books?) a girlfriend is going to get ripped to shreds by her werewolf boy friend, but stay with him because, I am not kidding here, "he lost control, but still knows he loves her."

Two, Belle is going to get pergnet with Edward's child and is going to decide to keep it, EVEN THOUGH HE RAN OFF AGAIN AND THE BABY HAS A HIGH CHANCE OF KILLING HER ON DELIVERY!

Can somebody honestly tell me that they want their child to read this? Or watch this?

I'm getting the message about what Stephanie Meyer's political views are.

What? The political view of Bizzaro Loony land?

More like implicit pro-life views.

 

[Furrama]

How ARE they going to do Breaking Dawn? A good chunk of Twilight fans hated that book. And I'm not giving any spoiler warnings here, the book's been out for a while.

Bella gets insta-pregnant, her baby has to be ripped out of her via Edward's teeth, Jacob imprints on the Baby, and, to quote someone who reviewed the book, BELLA SWAN VAMPS BETTER THAN YOU! http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630806.html

Also Bella's baby is some weird creepy half vampire that grows super fast and is, otherwise, perfect.

There are no consequences for her actions what-so-ever. Everything is resolved and sunshine and rainbows. What conflict there was gets SHUT DOWN NAOW.

How on earth are they going to shoot this?!

EDIT: Do you guys really think that the pro-life implications are the worst thing going on here? Really? Come on. Give me a break. Even those who are pro-life, (and those that choose to save themselves for marriage), see far worse going on in these books.

 

[alandavidson]

While Twilight has been praised for promoting abstenece in the Christian circles, the series almost seems to be doing the opposite as it progresses. The further we go into the books, the more sexual they become and the more graphic they are about it. It must be noted that they are not Harlequen quality as of yet - at least as far as the sex - but the so-called "purity promotion" is going out the window.

I work with children and teens on a regular basis and one of the things that I hear quite frequently is a desire of the girls to get married. These are not idle fantasies either. Some of these girls are plotting at 17 years of age to seduce and win over for a lifetime college-age boys. The Twilight series seems to be capitalizing on this seemingly widespread desire for lifelong companionship in its storyline. I do not, however believe that is it having an impact on the culture.

That being said, I do think that certain elements of the plot are disturbing. Edward's obvious stalking of Bella throughout the series, Edward's suicide attempt when Bella goes nanners, and Edward's catering to Bella's refusal to allow him to fight in the hippie dogpark war. Overall, I think that Twilight present a bad message not to girls, but to guys. It teaches that being obsessive over a girl is okay, it teaches that it is better to die than live without the girl, and it teaches that you should stay and comfort the girl rather than go out and defend her from impending doom. This is not to say that males should be he-man woman-haters, but rather sensitive and caring men who, when the time calls for it, rise to action and take the initiatve to defend those they love. This is something that Twilight discourages.

That's what's really scary.

 

[Pharaoh66]

i went to see grown ups last night and i saw twilight fans lined across the street to see it, i wanted to throw garlic at them and so did my dad, who is 45, if only i had some garlic with me at the time

 

[The Cheezy One]

this film has ruined my birthday
im usually excited to see the words 30th june, but not on thaty poster

Happy birthday!

Spoiler: Have some Pixel Cake, also large image warning.

How bloody quickly are they churning these films out though? Perhaps they might be able to put something vaguely approaching quality in it if they were taking at least a year to film and distribute the bloody thing.

thanks!
also, they just repeat the same film every time, so they alread have all the special effects done

 

[antipunt]

So...the only people who benefit are teenage girls in their temporal stages of youth and future wife-beaters?