I cannot express my gratitude towards you and your courage Moviebob.
I can safely say that I would not have survived this, and I pity a good friend of mine who shares my belief in that vampires are personable monsters that kill people. Not insecure teenage boys that glitter in the light of day. Because his girlfriend is taking him to see the movie as I am typing this. His last brave words were "Maybe there will be some good fight scenes"
Great job MB, hilarious. I was also completely floored when I watched the first one thinking "Alright, a movie about the kind of Vampires that the lead in John Carpenter's 'Vampires' claims don't exist. Maybe it will have battles and stuff." The only battle was between my will to finish the movie once starting it and my sense of self-preservation. I didn't even know there was a third one yet. This is the worst. The worst of the worst is that chicks my age (26) are ALL ABOUT TWILIGHT! What's the deal? Were they in some sort of suspended animation and they are still 14 years old? That's an open question, btw.
lol, I knew MovieBob wouldn't have the balls to praise this film.
Twilight and Sex and the City are quite amusing to me. They are alright little films but because they are aimed towards women every man in the (online)world gets all riled up about how they mutate impressionable young girls into something other than what they desire them to be.
Excellent point. Maybe we, as benevolent, all-knowing men, aren't giving the lady-folk enough credit... MB touched on that in his review, but definitely food for thought.
Ah, I'm not going to try to avoid directly advertising something but I will say that *sips some Tru Blood* that there is a series where the *sips some more Tru Blood* vampires are bada$$es which don't sparkle. Also, I believe that Stephenie Meyer blatantly ripped off that other series...that's my opinion based on reading both series of books. There's quite a few similarities...and the other series came out first.
You are an inspiration, thank you very much although now that I say that I'm only 4 episodes into the first season I will have to quit this forum for risk of any spoilers.
Recently, I'd began to think the Twilight-hate had grown too whingy, elitist and arrogant (plus, too much of it in general)
This has reaffirmed my belief that not only are these books BAD (a regrettable occurance for any literature), but first and foremost: stupid, dangerous and qutie irresponsible
Ah, I'm not going to try to avoid directly advertising something but I will say that *sips some Tru Blood* that there is a series where the *sips some more Tru Blood* vampires are bada$$es which don't sparkle. Also, I believe that Stephenie Meyer blatantly ripped off that other series...that's my opinion based on reading both series of books. There's quite a few similarities...and the other series came out first.
You are an inspiration, thank you very much although now that I say that I'm only 4 episodes into the first season I will have to quit this forum for risk of any spoilers.
Uh...wow, thanks. *blushes* Glad to know I am an inspiration to someone. Can I depend on you if I ever feel the urge to build my own personal army bent on world domination or for defense from the zombie apocalypse
I nearly fell out of my seat laughing at the Frisbee. Well done, Ms. Meyer, for emasculating the entire horror monster genre. You know what? Screw this; I'm going to go out and buy The Wolfman, because that's the only decent monster movie I've seen in a while. And, the only monster movie that portrays the monster correctly.
I dunno...Daybreakers was pretty good...(although i'm firmly behind werewolves since they've yet to be (completely) pussified in all media...so yeah, Wolfman rules)
Does Kristen Stewart have all her annoying tourettes-like tics in this movie? I swear I have to watch that silly girl bite her lip, or blink incessantly or twitch I will fly to the states and shoot her in the face. (that last part was a joke)
I love Bob's reviews because he doesn't just say "Twilight sucks" because yeah I knew that. He always gets into how things affect and portray the current culture and I like that.
Also 30 Days of Night was awesome. I have to look up Hard Candy now.
In the interest of Moviebob's sanity and everyone else's general quality of life, I propose he be presented with an official document waiving him of all obligations to view the Twilight films or consume/produce any Twilight-related material. That would spare both of us from these pointless points.
I love Bob's reviews because he doesn't just say "Twilight sucks" because yeah I knew that. He always gets into how things affect and portray the current culture and I like that.
Also 30 Days of Night was awesome. I have to look up Hard Candy now.
Hard Candy is a royally fucked up movie, but if you can get past it, its brilliant. Easily one of my favorite movies of all time but none of my friends will watch it. Plus is has Patrick Wilson (Nite Owl II in Watchmen) and Ellen Page (Juno in, go figure, Juno).
...well if I was to TRY to give Twilight a chance...erm, well at least all the hot but independent girls who like Twilight are forced to admit they kinda like having a guy to depend on
See...it's not the teens that scare me. I mean look at all the ladies still with the "I carried a watermelon" schtick from Dirty Dancing.
Brief Plot: Shy little "ugly" girl finds impossible love with a near superhuman dancer. Hmmmm....
It's not even the 12 year olds that run up to Robert Pattison asking them to lick their self-inflicted wounds.
(Yeah....)
It's the older women who look upon this with lust. Chief among them Stephanie Meyer.
Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen said:
When I read it I was convinced Stephenie was convinced she was Bella and it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing.
These are 40 year old women in total lust with a guy that looks just in his teens.
Now...you swap the genders around and does it feel creepy?
(Yeah, I know all the older guys still watch the female tennis.)
What we're talking about here is the celebration of teen pornography. And as damaging as the bewitched youngsters and the susceptible teens is, this is the bit that REALLY creeps me out.
And there's good trashy vampire fiction as well: Take Lauryll K Hamilton's total slut-fest in Anita Blake/Meredith Gentry, the creepy allegory to female mesntruation in Lair of the White Worm, even something as whacked out as Naked Lunch or Clockwork Orange.
I mean, Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights is a perennial female lust object (despite strangling their dog...), but everything in Twilight revolves around the fact that Edward is a Vampire, and so he gets away with it.
If he was actually lying about being a Vampire, and still did all these things, he'd be locked up as a abuser, stalker, molester way before we even got to Eclipse.
And it only gets worse. If any woman wants to know why men wince everytime someone gets hit in the balls, let's just use these two little phrases from Breaking Dawn...
"Fountain of Blood" and "Vampire Cesarean". And that's before Bella's spine BREAKS giving birth.
Creepy isn't the name for it. This should be ranked alongside The Human Centipede.
Edit: And seconded on MovieBob getting a free pass away from reviewing the next two.
I never minded the abstinence message of Twilight movies, although I didn't agree with them, they had a wholesome message to save your virginity for the right person because, I'm guessing because I'm still a virgin, if you lose your virginity to an asshole then you feel horrible. But now I really get why everyone thinks the messages in Twilight are so fucked up, BECAUSE THEY ARE IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. I still like the movies though... well the first one at least I haven't seen the rest.
I love Bob's reviews because he doesn't just say "Twilight sucks" because yeah I knew that. He always gets into how things affect and portray the current culture and I like that.
Also 30 Days of Night was awesome. I have to look up Hard Candy now.
Hard Candy is a royally fucked up movie, but if you can get past it, its brilliant. Easily one of my favorite movies of all time but none of my friends will watch it. Plus is has Patrick Wilson (Nite Owl II in Watchmen) and Ellen Page (Juno in, go figure, Juno).
Royally fucked up does not bother me. I love Saw. Hostel was ok. Higurashi and Elfen Lied are two of my favorite animes (although even I was bothered by the dog scene. That shit was fucked up). Anyway my point is, fucked up movies don't bother me.
Oh and Battle Royale. That movie owns. That's a fucked up premise if there ever was one.
To be honest, i've always thought that most young girls dream of marriage, so I can't quite understand the logic of people saying that they are surprised/appalled when the subject comes up. Now I dislike and defy the idea of early marriage, but not at the expense of mistaking youthful girlish fantasies for an actual desire to tie the knot.
That's just the point, DC Josh: Little girls are TAUGHT to see marriage as an ultimate goal in their lives, and the crappy Twilight movies just reinforce that.
Do little boys dream of getting married? No. They dream of careers, goals, adventures. Shouldn't it be the same for girls?
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