Escape to the Movies: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

[TheTygre]

*sniff*... It's like Christmas came early.

 

[kozmo]

they are still making twighlight movies?
oh god!
why!?

PS. I meen the movies suck, all of them and they would continue sucking because the books suck. The only reason I saw the first one was since mt girlfriend insisted. The movie was so bad, so stupid and of course so very, very f***** long

 

[mike1921]

Here's to hoping that some attractive girl isn't going to drag me to the cinema to see this monstrosity.
Damn sparkling vampires...

I'm glad to not be hormonally driven enough to be willing to be dragged along to that by someone just because they're attractive.

It's nice to hear that there are other sensible, measured haters of Twilight out there that don't just hate it because it's lame quasi-romance. Lame quasi-romance works well, sometimes - at least for its target audience. It's the sinister undertones that make me despise Twilight.

I've never seen any of the movies, but I have read the books (I had to see it for myself). Edward's abusive behaviour was obvious from a mile away, but what scares me almost as much is the support out there for Jacob. From memory, it was in Eclipse that he forced a kiss from Bella and I have to tell you, I felt like I was reading a rape scene. Not okay.

Damn you, depriving little girls of their rape fantasies.

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

very good and insightful commentary on the series with out any kneejerk hate reaction. still steadfastly refusing to watch ANY of this although i have said that if someone demads I watch it and agrees to buy enogh beer to drown out the pain I will put myself through it out of some morbid curiosity. I just refuse to give this crap money

Well I've not seen any of the sequels yet, but I still hold to my opinion that the first one was a misunderstood masterpiece. It gave us one of the most vile anti-heroines that I can remember in film, coupled with the promise that she'd suffer some severe vamp-inflicted pain in the upcoming movies. Unfortunately it doesn't look as though they've gone with this theme and instead continued to take her "seriously" as a heroine. Really?

I have a question though... I'm not saying that the message of these movies isn't creepy, or that they're not bad movies by any objective viewpoint (although the first one was a misunderstood masterpiece as seen by the totally subjective viewpoint of myself); but what exactly did Pattinson and Stewart do wrong, other than sign on?

This is like Bruce Willis getting razzies for his performance in "Armageddon" or Britney Spears for "Crossroads". Yes, they're terrible movies, but their stars didn't do anything particularly bad beyond appearing in them. It's a case of people hating the idea of a movie so much that they feel the need to criticize just about everything in it, IMO. At least as far as the first Twilight movie goes (I haven't seen and don't plan to see the the sequels).

 

[gamegod25]

I think he summed up the who twilight series perfectly in the opening. It's not easy to make a war between vampires and werewolves, two of the most badass monsters ever, and turn them into a bunch of pussies fighting over one co-dependant twat.

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

they are still making twighlight movies?
oh god!
why!?

Ridiculous amounts of money. Same reason as to why they're still making Bond movies (and hey! I just named a franchise that is somehow even more culturally bankrupt than "Twilight" is!)

Sooner or later, I think you'll find that most things come down to money. Works of art (which Twilight technically is) aren't created because their creators want to be remembered as great artists, they're created because their creators want to put food on the table. For the most part anyway. (There are exceptions - some very good YouTube series that were created out of love, not money, for example; but think of the advertising the site gets to sell on the back of them!)

 

[Twilight.falls]

I will admit, I find it interesting that Twilight was able to revolutionize the way we look at vampires, taking what we know and turning it into something different.

Sadly, it backfired and we have probably the most repulsive incarnation of vampires there has ever been.

Are those even werewolves? They look like giant wolves to me. Werewolf literally means Manwolf, and I am only seeing Wolf-Wolves.

Let's hope that ole Alucard will put a Blessed Mercury Tipped Bullet right in to Edward's head, and Stephanie Mayer's as well, eh?

Pattinson's ok though, he's admitted he openly despises the series and is only in it for the money.

 

[Azhrarn-101]

You'z jus hatin' coz you dun wanna smack women in da gob, ya pansy grot.
I'll clobber 'em good.

Oi, please leave the orks out of this. They'll clobber anyone.

As for the review. A scary thought indeed, although some of my female colleagues enjoy the movie for pure stud potential. Not the story. ^_^

 

[Brad Shepard]

I thought i was going to have to wait untel friday to hear this rant, but hey, at least we got it out of the way...

God my girlfriend is being forced to see this thing friday, Anyone know how long it is so i can warn her?

 

[vivalahelvig]

this film has ruined my birthday
im usually excited to see the words 30th june, but not on thaty poster

Happy birthday....want a free twightlight eclipse t-shirt with Edward on the front?

 

[MorganL4]

And with every twilight based thread comes the mandatory "TEAM JACOB" fan letter to prove the point:

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/open-letter-to-universal-your-wolfman-ripped-off-twilight-9247

 

[Jake the Snake]

Wow, I don't think I could've put it better myself. Thanks Bob, you took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[Erick.S]

Real vampires would be turning in their coffin at the thought of this movie, or at least going on a killing spree of twilight fans. Hmm, now that's something I'm willing to pay to watch!

 

[Zersy]

Again I find movie bob useless for a movie review, instead he just says how much he hates something and makes it sound like he's right. then the majority of you all agree with him and just jump on the hate wagon.

I'm not saying I like twilight ( Far from it ) but I don't hate it either. What Twilight really is , is just a load of fan fiction that appeals to simple demographic.

Movie bob makes it sound like it's total shit. (It's not)
Fans make it sound like it is the best thing ever. (It's not)

My opinion of the twilight series so far (I've only seen new moon) a simple story that drags on for a long time, is kinda cool cause of the monsters in it, should be noted since it does thing differently rather then the whole Blade or Underworld theme of vampires and were wolves which is very tired out now. It's nothing special like Shawshank Redemption but nothing shit like a crappy romantic comedey.

(Oh and is it just me, or does movie bob look TOO deep into the stories and themes of movies)

 

[snowman6251]

I love Bob's reviews because he doesn't just say "Twilight sucks" because yeah I knew that. He always gets into how things affect and portray the current culture and I like that.

Also 30 Days of Night was awesome. I have to look up Hard Candy now.

Hard Candy is a royally fucked up movie, but if you can get past it, its brilliant. Easily one of my favorite movies of all time but none of my friends will watch it. Plus is has Patrick Wilson (Nite Owl II in Watchmen) and Ellen Page (Juno in, go figure, Juno).

Royally fucked up does not bother me. I love Saw. Hostel was ok. Higurashi and Elfen Lied are two of my favorite animes (although even I was bothered by the dog scene. That shit was fucked up). Anyway my point is, fucked up movies don't bother me.

Oh and Battle Royale. That movie owns. That's a fucked up premise if there ever was one.

Yeah, but Battle Royale, as brilliant as the book and movie were, didn't

Spoiler: Warning, graphic.

show the castration of the male lead.

Yep.

also

How did you manage to make a video bashing Twilight suck?! GYAH!

We don't take kindly to your type 'round these parts.

Yeah so just watched Hard Candy.

A movie has never made me cringe so much in my life. My balls. They could FEEL the pain. They were crying in fear.

 

[Sovvolf]

And with every twilight based thread comes the mandatory "TEAM JACOB" fan letter to prove the point:

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/open-letter-to-universal-your-wolfman-ripped-off-twilight-9247

I... I... I... erm... I don't have the words to express how stupid that is... Give me a second I'm going to read my dictionary...

-20 minutes later-

There isn't one... No word that describes how stupid that is. Just wow.

 

[Thick]

Without defending the property of Twilight, this review actually helped me understand its popularity. Through my lack of contact with this whole phenomenon, I never put together all those themes that Bob mentioned, but now that he has, I get it. Girls/women, through not complete fault of their own, are domestic abuse victims just itching to happen. It takes a special combination of circumstances to teach them that seeking/loving this sort of treatment isn't good for them.

Anyways, I had noticed that they resolved that whole Edward/Jacob/Bella triangle and wondered what the hell they were going to talk about to carry out that farce of a romance story. Glad to see that they opted to just circle it like a dog about to piss.

 

[roostuf]

And I thought that chan was the center of faggotry!

 

[littlerudi08107]

Wow Bob, I'm sorry to hear how much pain you're going through. I'll be praying for your sanity. But hey, if you make it out of the Twilight Saga with your brain still attached at least you can say with pride, "I survived the Twilight phenomenon."