Escape to the Movies: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

[Archemetis]

How bloody quickly are they churning these films out though? Perhaps they might be able to put something vaguely approaching quality in it if they were taking at least a year to film and distribute the bloody thing.

I'd agree, but the Back to the Future Trilogy, as far as I'm aware from watching the DVD extras on the boxset were all filmed in a year.
All three films, admittedly the second one wasn't as great as perhaps it could have been, but still, there's significant quality in those films regardless.
(In my point of view, even standing up against modern titles the Back to the Future trilogy shines bright.)

The Twilight saga however has consistently awful quality (although I hear they're filmed very well, from a technical standpoint, it's just the concept and acting that makes it shit) within a probably larger amount of production time.

So the amount of time spent on the film doesn't always indicate how awful it'll end up.

Advent Children for sake of example took several years and that still ended up being no more than a perfectly rendered disappointment in the eyes of many.

OT:
I gotta admit, the message scares me too, I've seen people who've reacted positively to these films and read the books and they tell me straight-faced that they're works of brilliance, worth the attention and I supposed 'worship' they receive.

It genuinely scares me when I hear that when the story is essentially a super-natural alternative to a school-girl making the difficult choice between bestiality and marrying her neighbourhood paedophile/stalker...


Nice addition of the Frisbee too.

Sorry to the guy(s) I quoted before I edited this post. Didn't realise I'd screwed it a bit.

 

[Hudson_sir_he's_Hicks]

You said Fairly decent movie, 30 days of Night. I think that movie was well beyond fairly decent.

And WTF is this director doing with Twilight? I am so cool and all that and don't really give two shits about the series, but what the hell? He should be doing something else, like a Dresden Files movie.

Agree with that dude, 30 Days of Night was awesome and so I have no idea (apart from $$$$) why Slade would direct this drivel.

Perhaps the studio is simply hiring directors who've made vampire films within the last few years, which could mean that the Spearing brothers will direct the next two instalments but lets hope they have more sense than that

 

[BboyTeddyBear]

sums up everything i think about twilight pretty well

 

[voetballeeuw]

Ha ha, I laughed so hard at the the Bell Jar cliffnotes joke. Well done. I went to the movies yesterday to see Grown Ups and was horrified at the throngs of Twilight fans waiting for the midnight premiere.. I nearly left

 

[Taynas]

I entirely agree with what you said about the messages Twilight portrays being scary. This even more then my loathing of the bad writing is why I continue to rail against it. Thanks for making most of us twilight haters reasoning clear to the rest of the world.

 

[RebelRising]

You said Fairly decent movie, 30 days of Night. I think that movie was well beyond fairly decent.

And WTF is this director doing with Twilight? I am so cool and all that and don't really give two shits about the series, but what the hell? He should be doing something else, like a Dresden Files movie.

Agree with that dude, 30 Days of Night was awesome and so I have no idea (apart from $$$$) why Slade would direct this drivel.

Perhaps the studio is simply hiring directors who've made vampire films within the last few years, which could mean that the Spearing brothers will direct the next two instalments but lets hope they have more sense than that

The only real problem with 30 Days of Night is its cast; they simply sucked. Josh Hartnett belongs in that special circle of actors, along with Sam Worthington and Ben Affleck, who can't display emotion to save their souls.

Still, the atmosphere, photography, and music rocked. Especially the music.

 

[FinalDream]

Seriously, the one thing I really hate Twilight for is ruining the word Twilight. I mean it was such a good word, used quite frequently, and now? Every time I hear/read it all I can think of is...is this atrocity...

 

[ninjajoeman]

And you know what's the most terrifying thing about this? I just checked out Metacritic. The Twilight "Saga": Eclipse has an average rating of

[HEADING=1]58.[/HEADING]​

Fifty-fucking-eight.

What little hope I had left in the majority of movie critics is now lost forever.

58 out of?

Seriously, the one thing I really hate Twilight for is ruining the word Twilight. I mean it was such a good word, used quite frequently, and now? Every time I hear/read it all I can think of is...is this atrocity...

that or zelda!

 

[MasterChief892039]

Thank you! It's nice to hear someone criticize Twilight for the things it actually deserves to be criticized for, rather than just blindly saying "IT SUCKS I HATE IT!".

Bad writing and character development is forgivable in a passing fad, but the underlying message Twilight conveys is just scary. I mean, when you take away all the shallow "love" in this series, what you're left with is an 18 year old girl who forgoes a college education in order to get married and have a baby with her manipulative highschool boyfriend. As an 18-year-old girl myself, I find that INCREDIBLY offensive, and I cannot believe that a) it was written by a woman and b) there are women supporting it. This is not the kind of message young women should even be hearing in 2010, let alone getting behind - I am hideously ashamed of my gender.

 

[Amazon warrior]

I think MovieBob deserves some kind of award for taking one for the team like this. MB, I think I love you a little for sitting through that and still being able to be coherent afterwards. Bravo. Also, love the frisbee.

To be honest, i've always thought that most young girls dream of marriage, so I can't quite understand the logic of people saying that they are surprised/appalled when the subject comes up. Now I dislike and defy the idea of early marriage, but not at the expense of mistaking youthful girlish fantasies for an actual desire to tie the knot.

That's just the point, DC Josh: Little girls are TAUGHT to see marriage as an ultimate goal in their lives, and the crappy Twilight movies just reinforce that.

Do little boys dream of getting married? No. They dream of careers, goals, adventures. Shouldn't it be the same for girls?

Right. Please can you go explain this to my mother? I recently got out of a long-term relationship, but she won't quit with the references to marriage and relationships and how I need to find "someone" and "settle down" and then I'll be "happy". Argh. Doesn't help that my (younger) sister is getting married next year. I tell you, I'm bloody glad that I live in a different country, or the whole thing would probably end in tears and bloodshed. I love my mum, honest, but sometimes she just doesn't have a clue. This not-so-little girl dreams of adventures and is damn well going to have them.

 

[Twilight.falls]

Seriously, the one thing I really hate Twilight for is ruining the word Twilight. I mean it was such a good word, used quite frequently, and now? Every time I hear/read it all I can think of is...is this atrocity...

How do you think I feel? This is the username I use for nearly everything. Needless to say, I get the book references lobbed at me all the time.

 

[elmo360]

I am sorry Bob. Sorry u had to sit through that sh*t storm again.

 

[Jark212]

Oh god, I have to see this tonight with my sister, pray for me my brothers and sisters...

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

You know whats funny? I once had to contend with my towns local twi-fan group sending threatening messages to me for writing down all the stuff that I didn't like about today (it was twilight, pop music, gangsta culture and a lot of other stuff) and the police were involved and stuff. They weren't actually serious about any of it, but still it makes you wonder....


Personally, I'm a fan of Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden.

 

[Bonino90]

Poor bob..Thanks for taking the blow for the rest of us! I'm not tuching those movies even with a 10 foot stick.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

You know, I think I'm the only person here looking forward to seeing this movie.

My friend and I have a thing. Every year we pick the most awful movie we can find, get drunk and laugh our way through. This one's going to be good, I can feel it.

Just to clarify, by good, I mean shit.

Bad writing and character development is forgivable in a passing fad.

Uh, why? All weird plot machinations aside, if something is badly written and has bad characters/ character development, it is bad.

 

[Infernai]

I feel it necessary to now Compare Twilight here to other series that involve Vampires

Twilight- A sloshfest of dull characters, non-existant plots and horrible messages trying to be conveyed.

compared with these:

Hellsing- A Manga turned OVA series with a plot that is basically: Dracula vs Vampire Nazi's and the whole freaking Catholic church, with Interesting (Albeit very Axe Crazy) characters and a subtle underlying message about the importance of Humanity

Blade- A Badass guy with a sword goes and hunts vampires, theres a bit more to it than that but saying anymore would be a spoiler to those who havn't seen the movies (See them).

Underworld- The characters have personality, the "War" between the Vampires and Lycans is way more action packed and exciting then twilights pussy excuse for it, and the soundtrack is good to.

Mortal Instruments- a book series that is Cliche'd beyond belief, but is passable and tolerable compared to twilight, characters are alright, and at least does various mythical creatures Justice by staying somewhat true to their lore (eg. Vamps burn in sunlight, silver hurts werewolves etc).

Any of the classical Dracula Movies: Nuff said.

Yeah..i did just go there. <P

 

[antigodoflife]

Why did they have you review this? I mean, who among the Escapist's audience was possibly considering going to see this?

My lesbian bedmate is a huge fan and will be putting the metaphorical collar around my neck to go see it. It's going to be awesome. Please excuse me for the crying corner awaits me.

 

[Lissa-QUON]

Nice sum up. Thank you for actually looking at and spelling out the creepy undertones in the films. A lot of folks just go "so they're badly written whats the big deal?" and totally miss the scary bits.

For those of you into more terrifying analysis Heres an ex-Mormon's sum up of Twilight and her pointing out how it matches up to Mormon doctrine. [http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html] For those of you who don't know, Mormonism is the religion of Meyer and it's rather unsettling to notice how much of that got put into Twilight even if its unconsciously.