Escape to the Movies: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

[NicolasMarinus]

I like Transformers. AND YES. EVEN THE BAYSPLOSIONS. And I like Shia, too.

WHY SHOULD I NOT VOTE AND DRIVE BOB?

Comments like yours make me wish these forums had a thumbs down button

 

[Machine Man 1992]

I know I'm going to recieve flak about this and mabey get banned by some little snot, but here goes:

I liked the first transformers movie. It flowed well, the human:robot ratio was pretty even, and yes I laughed at the the attempts at humor. It was fun to watch, and I felt like I got my moneys worth. The second movie was crap, waaaay too long, and no amount of editing will change that. This movie was just a good as the first one, with an awesome finale and a tightened up story, but it did drag in places and needs to be truncated a bit in the middle, and the part were Megatron attacks Sentinel because model/actress de jour insinuates he has a small robo penis was bullshit and could have been handeled a lot better.

 

[Madara XIII]

*snip*

Apparently the people who DARE commit the horrible unforgivable sin that is probably worse than killing a child by actually LIKING a Micheal bay transformer film are the lowest of the low and all deserve to be called idiots and mocked for their differing interests am I right?

That's not what I'm saying, anyway. I was lording Spoony and the Cinema Snob's reaction to the movie over an earlier remark someone made which was basically, "Unnff, you think that animated movie is better than Michael Bay's films? How droll." But that's exactly how two well-established (on the Interwebz, at least) critics feel, and I'd like to think they have a firm handle on what makes a movie good or bad.

Why are we reacting to this movie so badly? Well, that's been established already, hasn't it? Over an hour and a half of pointless nonsense preceding a big robot fight where we don't even know who most of the robots are because they aren't developed and they look too similar to each other anyway. What, we should praise a movie like that? The hell we should. Let me make the problem with Bayformers more clear if you don't get it: You can learn more about the different Transformers on the little blurbs describing them on their packaging than you can in the movie!

Nor is it really a matter of fanboys getting irrationally getting mad over the "new" Transformers. I don't care if you like Beast Wars TF's. They were actually pretty cool. But again, they had a compelling story arc and some very interesting characters, and with maybe one or two exceptions, that show never resorted to Bay-levels of retardation. No, it is specifically how this movie was done that enrages people!

I'll end with this: If we DON'T lash out at this movie for being so awful, then Hollywood's going to keep thinking it's doing something right and make more movies just like it. We have a right to demand quality in our films and not just roll over for garbage in the name of, hell, I don't know, togetherness or something? What was your point again?

That's the point I was trying to go for. Why should we constantly go against each other when we should take it out on hollywood, rather than just constantly insult each other on our different tastes in transformers. I don't mind people bashing Micheal Bay Transformers (Hell It's funny at times), but to go out and personally insult the people who like it is a different subject matter. I love Spoony and the Cinema Snob, I just don't like being personally insulted on my tastes. I'd rather have what I like attacked rather than myself.

 

[Machine Man 1992]

Fine Bob, that's your opinion. Your personal feelings toward Transformers only reinforce what you want in a Transformers movie. Dark of the Moon, clearly was not what you were looking for; nor any of the Transformers movies for that matter. I accept that.

Don't however, assume that everybody views movies as you do. Earlier this morning, I too, went and saw the new Transformers. After stepping out of the theater, you know what? I got what I paid for: a two and half hour session of robots, explosions, and beating the crap out of each other. Nothing more, nothing less. Optimus was badass, Sentinel was cool, and Megatron, well...

Spoiler

He died like a *****.

You keep expecting this grand retelling of the old Transformers movie from the 80's, when this is just the way thing are now. So you don't like it. Oh well. Others do and will, and the movie will go on to make an assload of money. Good on them, I say. The movie was exciting and held my attention as well as entertained me.

I couldn't ask any more of any film, the fact it was Transformers notwithstanding.

Finally, a person who shares my exact viewpoint on these shenanigans

 

[Madara XIII]

I'll end with this: If we DON'T lash out at this movie for being so awful, then Hollywood's going to keep thinking it's doing something right and make more movies just like it. We have a right to demand quality in our films and not just roll over for garbage in the name of, hell, I don't know, togetherness or something? What was your point again?

There was no point, it was just some guy trying to convince himself that he didn't waste both limited time and money by watching something made by a hack.

How is it wasted time if I enjoyed? Sure I had a couple of gripes with the movie, but the beauty of it was that I had got to see the movie for Free (Redeemed some free tickets with a refund voucher at my movie theater)

I would have been alot angrier had I payed for it. So please don't try and tell me what my point was. I'll tell you what it is. Rather than the man children and rabid fanboys sitting on their high horses and lashing out at everyone who actually enjoyed the movie with little bias, how about you output that anger against Hollywood?

So no, I got to see the movie for free. It pissed me off to an extent, but over all I found worth a few hours of my life and plus it gave me a nice break from my studies.

 

[Swifteye]

*snip*

Apparently the people who DARE commit the horrible unforgivable sin that is probably worse than killing a child by actually LIKING a Micheal bay transformer film are the lowest of the low and all deserve to be called idiots and mocked for their differing interests am I right?

That's not what I'm saying, anyway. I was lording Spoony and the Cinema Snob's reaction to the movie over an earlier remark someone made which was basically, "Unnff, you think that animated movie is better than Michael Bay's films? How droll." But that's exactly how two well-established (on the Interwebz, at least) critics feel, and I'd like to think they have a firm handle on what makes a movie good or bad.

Why are we reacting to this movie so badly? Well, that's been established already, hasn't it? Over an hour and a half of pointless nonsense preceding a big robot fight where we don't even know who most of the robots are because they aren't developed and they look too similar to each other anyway. What, we should praise a movie like that? The hell we should. Let me make the problem with Bayformers more clear if you don't get it: You can learn more about the different Transformers on the little blurbs describing them on their packaging than you can in the movie!

Nor is it really a matter of fanboys getting irrationally getting mad over the "new" Transformers. I don't care if you like Beast Wars TF's. They were actually pretty cool. But again, they had a compelling story arc and some very interesting characters, and with maybe one or two exceptions, that show never resorted to Bay-levels of retardation. No, it is specifically how this movie was done that enrages people!

I'll end with this: If we DON'T lash out at this movie for being so awful, then Hollywood's going to keep thinking it's doing something right and make more movies just like it. We have a right to demand quality in our films and not just roll over for garbage in the name of, hell, I don't know, togetherness or something? What was your point again?

As someone who's seen most if not all forms of transformers I have to say. I don't care at all for any of the narrative structures and what not that can be found in the shows. It has always been about the robots fighting. Transformers is a product born to sell a toy to you and though good writers can make the best of it making money will always take priority over being a something of depth.

I love quality stories too but I don't complain and whine I take up a pencil and paper and get to writing what should be written to counter the drek. If one isn't willing to make something worthy of people's time then they should just play consumer and just consume things they like and don't consume things they don't like.

 

[2ndblackjedi]

I just came back from seeing this movie and I actually liked it. I now realize what a terrible, TERRIBLE thing that is. It's an obvious indicator of the fact that I hate small children and puppies. So, I guess the only thing to do now is...I dunno set myself on fire or something as payment for the horrible nature of my actions. I'll have to do that later though. I'm busy destroying the entire film industry and every movie in the world.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Movie 1: Everyone complains about too much human, not enough robots. Allowances given for some nice action at the end. Final fight is a bit of a let down.

Movie 2: Everyone complains about too much human, not enough robots. Allowances given for some nice action at the end. Final fight is a bit of a let down.

Movie 3: Everyone complains about too much hu...

You know what? I'm tired of it too.

I honestly don't understand it. Surely it takes more effort to merge a plot about a guy finding a job with big stompy robots? Why bother when it's not even what people like about the movie?

Hell, even keep the military bits. Would be nice to see the robots bonding in manly ways with a bunch of squaddies.

That's why I'm annoyed with Bayformers. Everyone seems to really like it, but they're all the same. The things they complained about before, they're the same. Maybe people are so switched off that they don't notice that the human story is not only contrasting but contradicting the giant robot bits, but... eh.

I kind of liked the first Transformers. I think most of it was the presentation of, "oh wow, they made the Transformers work in live action. Kickass." But Transformers 2 offended me, especially with the ham-fisted racism and convoluted intertwining plotlines.

But really, it annoys me that people say "I liked Transformers 3" like they're in some kind of club. They're bad films. But that's okay! You're allowed to like bad films! You're allowed to say, "yeah, this film was horrible, but it was fun while I was watching it"! I did it with The Phantom Menace, I did it with 2009's Star Trek, I did it with X-men 3. Objectively knowing a film is bad yet still enjoying it, is the root of what makes something a cult classic.

But Tramsformers isn't a cult classic.

It's a multi-billion dollar blockbuster that's raking in more profits than the franchise ever has before.

And then the people who say, "you know, this film is blatantly awful," get told by the people that liked the film that they're too "elite," while they themselves act like patron saints of giant robot movies for enjoying themselves. It is not "elite" to say that a poorly made film is awful, it's fucking realistic. It's the way the world should be.

 

[Madara XIII]

Movie 1: Everyone complains about too much human, not enough robots. Allowances given for some nice action at the end. Final fight is a bit of a let down.

Movie 2: Everyone complains about too much human, not enough robots. Allowances given for some nice action at the end. Final fight is a bit of a let down.

Movie 3: Everyone complains about too much hu...

You know what? I'm tired of it too.

I honestly don't understand it. Surely it takes more effort to merge a plot about a guy finding a job with big stompy robots? Why bother when it's not even what people like about the movie?

Hell, even keep the military bits. Would be nice to see the robots bonding in manly ways with a bunch of squaddies.

That's why I'm annoyed with Bayformers. Everyone seems to really like it, but they're all the same. The things they complained about before, they're the same. Maybe people are so switched off that they don't notice that the human story is not only contrasting but contradicting the giant robot bits, but... eh.

I kind of liked the first Transformers. I think most of it was the presentation of, "oh wow, they made the Transformers work in live action. Kickass." But Transformers 2 offended me, especially with the ham-fisted racism and convoluted intertwining plotlines.

But really, it annoys me that people say "I liked Transformers 3" like they're in some kind of club. They're bad films. But that's okay! You're allowed to like bad films! You're allowed to say, "yeah, this film was horrible, but it was fun while I was watching it"! I did it with The Phantom Menace, I did it with 2009's Star Trek, I did it with X-men 3. Objectively knowing a film is bad yet still enjoying it, is the root of what makes something a cult classic.

But Tramsformers isn't a cult classic.

It's a multi-billion dollar blockbuster that's raking in more profits than the franchise ever has before.

And then the people who say, "you know, this film is blatantly awful," get told by the people that liked the film that they're too "elite," while they themselves act like patron saints of giant robot movies for enjoying themselves. It is not "elite" to say that a poorly made film is awful, it's fucking realistic. It's the way the world should be.

Agreed. I'm all for pointing out a bad movie and insult it on its flaws, but the difference is that some people *cough BOB cough* take that valid anger to the next level and insult and mock the people who like it.
I enjoyed the movie, but that's not going to stop me from saying that the ending was Bullshit and that Micheal Bay needs to get smacked with a well written 400 page script on how to do Final Fights in Transformers right. The character development for the Transformers was spread out so scarcely. Only Optimus, Starscream, Bumblebee and Megatron were the really fleshed out characters and even then it doesn't focus too much on the villains.

So here's my problem. I'm for bashing a bad movie, however I'm NOT for bashing the the people who liked the movie.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Agreed. I'm all for pointing out a bad movie and insult it on its flaws, but the difference is that some people *cough BOB cough* take that valid anger to the next level and insult and mock the people who like it.
I enjoyed the movie, but that's not going to stop me from saying that the ending was Bullshit and that Micheal Bay needs to get smacked with a well written 400 page script on how to do Final Fights in Transformers right. The character development for the Transformers was spread out so scarcely. Only Optimus, Starscream, Bumblebee and Megatron were the really fleshed out characters and even then it doesn't focus too much on the villains.

So here's my problem. I'm for bashing a bad movie, however I'm NOT for bashing the the people who liked the movie.

Well, I think Bob is thinking about the fact that the more people see this film, the more line up for tickets, the more buy the DVDs and Blu-rays and the more admit to being "fans", the more movies of this caliber get made. People are voting with their wallets to get these movies made, and it's horrible that it's out of critics' (like Bob's) control.

The logic here is that it probably is the customer's fault that the product exists. I don't think it's a genuine personal insult to anyone or anybody based on anything BUT that simple fact that, it's how the movie industry unfortunately works.

 

[Locutus9956]

Bob I hate to break it you but the people going on at you about being a cynical elitist? They're right, 90% of this review is patronising, arrogant and frankly flat out insulting. Your opinion of a movie is all well and good but when you more or less call out anyone who disagrees with you as a simpering moron who should be kept away from 'grown up society' because they happen to enjoy a film that is just a silly brainless action movie rather than what you consider a worthy salute to a 20 year old childrens cartoon.... Get over yourself man.

All that said this is far from the greatest movie of all time and for a fan of the franchise (by which I mean the ORIGINAL Franchise, not Bays last two outpourings, I can see where it would grate).

See this is the thing though, you actually make alot of valid points but you cross the line when you insult people for disagreeing with you. That's the difference between an honest review and just, well, being a miserable cynical hate-filled misanthrope

 

[Wulfclaw]

Thing is: Nothing will change. Bob isn't interested in reading this thread or reactions to his "reviews" because he don't has to. He scored the chance to do 2 shows here and he makes them and the escapist shows them and he gets something for his work, i don't know. I guess, nobody really cares if someone in the show is offensive to the audience (except the audience).

Maybe he will chill out untill his next installment, but come "Transformers 4" some day and he will continue to insult everyone who likes it.

I mean, _obviously_ the content is not screened before its made available to the audience.

Clarification:
- It is okay to like or hate something (i.e. the Transformers in whatever incarnation). It is even okay to discuss flaws, pros or whatever about the something (i.e. the Transformers in whatever incarnation). It is _not_ okay to insult anyone who has another opinion, just because they feel that way.
- In my opinion, It is also _not_ okay to support such behaviour.

Edit: Heck, Yatzee is a very harsh critic with often seemingly bad temper and he still manages to _not_ openly insult people who like games he does not. If Bob wants to be a "bad guy" he should take example in Yatzee not in some Glenn Beck type of guy.

 

[theApoc]

So, people who like movies you don't shouldn't be allowed to vote? Wow. That's almost as bad as saying people who enjoy certain kinds of hip hop are a good reason for legalized abortion.

I didn't think it was possible to have this much bile for people who share different tastes than your own.

When Bob is objective, his reviews are generally pretty good, otherwise you would get a better review from a blind monkey than listen to any of his nonsense.

 

[PrinceofPersia]

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6552528/every-michael-bay-movie-in-under-a-minute

College Humor summarizes Michael Bay... It sticks with Movie Bob's usual comments on him

They got it right. God help us all they got it right.

 

[Agayek]

So, people who like movies you don't shouldn't be allowed to vote? Wow. That's almost as bad as saying people who enjoy certain kinds of hip hop are a good reason for legalized abortion.

I didn't think it was possible to have this much bile for people who share different tastes than your own.

To be completely fair, he's not saying dissenters shouldn't be allowed to vote so much as "dissenters are stupid, and stupids should not be allowed to vote". It's a subtle difference, but it is there.

I haven't seen DotM yet, but the first two were decent enough time wasters. Definitely not something to write home about, or even worth spending money on, but my stepdad gave them to me as a birthday gift last year, so I watched them. It'd give the first two a solid C+/B-. I'm not going to pay to see DotM, but I wouldn't turn it off if it comes on TV or something.

 

[Calbeck]

So let me get this straight: Bob is bitching about Trans3 inserting a "message" about "staying the course" and that this is "Rumsfeldian" because...someone wants to surrender to the Decepticons in order to end the war?

And this has WHAT to do with our military involvement in the Middle East? Maybe it's because I sensibly stayed at home and did NOT waste my money on this flick, but Michael Bay hasn't been able to deliver anything coherently recognizable as a "message" for at least a decade.

I chalk it up to Bob's propensity to shovel a talk-show political message into any given movie no matter how irrelevant it is. I swear, if this were "Harold and Maude", he'd find a way to talk about abortion clinic bombings and Newt Gingrich...

 

[Gunnyboy]

Movie 1: Everyone complains about too much human, not enough robots. Allowances given for some nice action at the end. Final fight is a bit of a let down.

Movie 2: Everyone complains about too much human, not enough robots. Allowances given for some nice action at the end. Final fight is a bit of a let down.

Movie 3: Everyone complains about too much hu...

You know what? I'm tired of it too.

I honestly don't understand it. Surely it takes more effort to merge a plot about a guy finding a job with big stompy robots? Why bother when it's not even what people like about the movie?

Hell, even keep the military bits. Would be nice to see the robots bonding in manly ways with a bunch of squaddies.

That's why I'm annoyed with Bayformers. Everyone seems to really like it, but they're all the same. The things they complained about before, they're the same. Maybe people are so switched off that they don't notice that the human story is not only contrasting but contradicting the giant robot bits, but... eh.

I kind of liked the first Transformers. I think most of it was the presentation of, "oh wow, they made the Transformers work in live action. Kickass." But Transformers 2 offended me, especially with the ham-fisted racism and convoluted intertwining plotlines.

But really, it annoys me that people say "I liked Transformers 3" like they're in some kind of club. They're bad films. But that's okay! You're allowed to like bad films! You're allowed to say, "yeah, this film was horrible, but it was fun while I was watching it"! I did it with The Phantom Menace, I did it with 2009's Star Trek, I did it with X-men 3. Objectively knowing a film is bad yet still enjoying it, is the root of what makes something a cult classic.

But Tramsformers isn't a cult classic.

It's a multi-billion dollar blockbuster that's raking in more profits than the franchise ever has before.

And then the people who say, "you know, this film is blatantly awful," get told by the people that liked the film that they're too "elite," while they themselves act like patron saints of giant robot movies for enjoying themselves. It is not "elite" to say that a poorly made film is awful, it's fucking realistic. It's the way the world should be.

The concept of what makes a bad film isn't objective. There's a reason people like the films. They like the characters, the stories, the humor, the action - all of these things are valid and none of it is subject to being denigrated to "it's bad, but ..." statements. If someone thinks it's legitimately good, then they think that. You don't. It's not really a big deal.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

The concept of what makes a bad film isn't objective. There's a reason people like the films. They like the characters, the stories, the humor, the action - all of these things are valid and none of it is subject to being denigrated to "it's bad, but ..." statements. If someone thinks it's legitimately good, then they think that. You don't. It's not really a big deal.

The big deal is that these movies keep getting made and they're always the same shit. Who cares who likes it, that they're being made in the first place - sinking billions of dollars in form the shallowest of reasons, being made by a man who is admittedly not a fan of the thing is supposedly making the films about - it's something that must be dealt with. I mean, no-one is arguing Michael Bay hates Transformers, right? So why is he the man at the helm?? Why not have someone who knows what they're doing with the franchise?

You're right though, I think what makes the film bad isn't subjective, but I think the perils Michael Bay makes in his film-making are objectively bad. True there is no rulebook for this stuff, but in a professional capacity there is technically a recipe to a "bad film," even if not a universally bad film. I agree, however, there is no way of discerning if any film is objectively "enjoyable".

 

[MiracleOfSound]

I like Transformers. AND YES. EVEN THE BAYSPLOSIONS. And I like Shia, too.

WHY SHOULD I NOT VOTE AND DRIVE BOB?

Comments like yours make me wish these forums had a thumbs down button

Because he liked something you didn't? Nice logic there.

I enjoyed the movie, thought it was a total blast. Sure the first hour was boring, the the second more than made up for it. We all wanted more robo-war and that's exactly what we got.