Okay... let's take it from the top...
First of all, this really isn't a fanboy rant. It might sound like it from the volume of his anger, but fanboyism doesn't enter into it.
Then there's the claims of "This is just five minutes of OMG MICHAEL BAY SUX!" No. Bay doesn't even enter into it until the four-minute mark (and even then he doesn't focus solely on the man). Up till then it's a perfectly solid argument about why this is bad, and even when he's not directly talking about the movie he's talking about related topics (for example, talking about The Godfather when he's pointing out that the "it's a toy commercial" argument is wrong because you can make a good movie out of anything.)
Same thing to the claims of Yahtzee cloning- no. Yahtzee did not patent rage (nor rage-o-hol), and the similarities come from the fact that they're both constructing an argument while being very very angry about what that argument adds up to.
And Moviebob has constructed a very coherent argument about why the Transformers movie sucks.
Let's review:
1. The USELESS human cast. I don't pretend to be an expert on Transformers, not having seen more than two of the series (one being Armada), but he has a valid point here. Yes, you can have humans alongside the Transformers. But you let them take center stage and the movie becomes about them. In no other series, book, comic, you name it, have the humans been anything more than support role. Even in Armada, where they had a pretty big role, it was three kids working to help the Autobots. The plot never centered on them or their problems, it was always on the war with the Decepticons.
If it's not about the Transformers, then don't call it Transformers. Simple as that.
2. The robot designs look AWFUL. Seriously! I've only seen the first movie, but I've also seen the multiple pictures Moviebob put up to reinforce his point. The Fallen looks emaciated and just plain dumb, the Twins look outright stupid, and let's not forget the twisted... grey thing (I have no idea who the hell that was supposed to be.) I also hated the design for Megatron in the first movie. No. Purge it with fire. It was that bad. And the changes to Optimus didn't make me too happy either... or Moviebob, for that matter.
(Honestly, I'm more annoyed by the fact that he's not a fire truck than the fact that he's got flames. Seriously, a fire truck for Optimus makes sense. He's a hero who's fighting to save the people of both his planet and ours, putting his life on the line in the process. Hell, his backup plan in the first movie IS to sacrifice himself to stop the Decepticons. Having him be an 18-wheeler instead of a fire truck like in the cartoons (at least those I've seen) robs him of some really powerful symbolism.)
3. The plot... was what again? After you strip out the humans, what was there left? Something about the Decepticons trying to blow up the sun and robo-Satan returning to do... stuff. Yeah. Seriously, blowing up the sun? While you're still in its star system? Does that strike anyone else as a BAD idea?
4. MISUSE OF AWESOME THINGS. I can't stress this enough. If you have a guy the size of a ****ing pyramid, and he's evil, USE him. Have him BLOW **** UP. That's the only reason for the existence of something like Devastator- to be absolutely awesome and to wreck stuff.
And do not ever, EVER spend only a minute or two on the final battle. Build up to something and deliver on it, or don't have it there at all. Transformers SATAN is hanging around, there had better be an epic battle. Hell, even bit-villains in any good mecha show take longer than three minutes to finish off- and they only have half an hour to work with, whereas this thing had two hours.
There's more, of course, like the badly choreographed action scenes, but really... do I have to go on?
