Escapist Expo to Host Smosh Games Crew

[Lieju]

It is rather interesting how their appearance gets universal hatred. Personally I have no idea who they are.. But wow, I suppose I should not look them up. They seem to be evil incarnate if this thread is to be believed.

I don't know who they are either.
Can't say I've been bothered by them in any way.

 

[MrTwo]

Also: It can't be just me who thinks that Miley Cyrus's newer songs have an inredibly strong undertone of melancholy?
I mean for god's sake, her "party" "anthem": "We can't stop" is a real downer that makes one want to kinda sit somewhere quiet and ponder the meaning and the implications of life instead of partying harder, and the new single "wrecking ball" is just flat out depressing.
There is nothing "funny" or "sexy" about the video either, nope, sterile lighting and a solitary Miley posing for the camera. If it wasn't for the failed attempts at being "erotic", what with her licking the big ole sledge-hammer and trying to pose seductively for the camera, the video could be downright brilliant in a melancholic, sad kinda way.


EDIT:
To avoid ze off-topic-Banhammer:

I'd very much prefer Miey Cyrus as a guest-star. Still more entertaining than Smosh, classier too.

I just watched endured "We Can't Stop" for you, and yeah there's some sad piano tunes and also a shot of a guy cutting off his fingers, so not the happiest video. "Wrecking Ball" is just plain funny, in nobody's eyes is licking a sledgehammer in a sterile white room covered in broken concrete considered "erotic". And in both songs, the fucking autotune for God's sake. If you can't sing don't cheat for it.
And OT: Why yes, I agree Miley Cyrus would be a great guest star for the Expo. Really fits the target demographic.

James's LRR cop Vs the SMOSH cop. I'd watch it.

C'mon, James would win every time. Who could beat those completely rational links pulled in those detective sketches, and above all the sexy sunglasses. Smosh does have a seedy mo though...

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Also: It can't be just me who thinks that Miley Cyrus's newer songs have an inredibly strong undertone of melancholy?
I mean for god's sake, her "party" "anthem": "We can't stop" is a real downer that makes one want to kinda sit somewhere quiet and ponder the meaning and the implications of life instead of partying harder, and the new single "wrecking ball" is just flat out depressing.
There is nothing "funny" or "sexy" about the video either, nope, sterile lighting and a solitary Miley posing for the camera. If it wasn't for the failed attempts at being "erotic", what with her licking the big ole sledge-hammer and trying to pose seductively for the camera, the video could be downright brilliant in a melancholic, sad kinda way.


EDIT:
To avoid ze off-topic-Banhammer:

I'd very much prefer Miey Cyrus as a guest-star. Still more entertaining than Smosh, classier too.

I just watched endured "We Can't Stop" for you, and yeah there's some sad piano tunes and also a shot of a guy cutting off his fingers, so not the happiest video. "Wrecking Ball" is just plain funny, in nobody's eyes is licking a sledgehammer in a sterile white room covered in broken concrete considered "erotic". And in both songs, the fucking autotune for God's sake. If you can't sing don't cheat for it.
And OT: Why yes, I agree Miley Cyrus would be a great guest star for the Expo. Really fits the target demographic.

James's LRR cop Vs the SMOSH cop. I'd watch it.

C'mon, James would win every time. Who could beat those completely rational links pulled in those detective sketches, and above all the sexy sunglasses. Smosh does have a seedy mo though...

You know, I kinda think that Miley Cyrus would do well to consult a therapist over her problems with her sexuality. It's almostlike she doesn't really understand the concept of sexuality because a giant multi-industrial corporation stole her puberty from her, instaead forcing her into a role that stripped her of any chance to develop her sexual identity like a normal person would.


OT:
Miley Cyrus's therapist would also make a better addition to the Expo than the smosh crew.

 

[MrTwo]

You know, I kinda think that Miley Cyrus would do well to consult a therapist over her problems with her sexuality. It's almostlike she doesn't really understand the concept of sexuality because a giant multi-industrial corporation stole her puberty from her, instaead forcing her into a role that stripped her of any chance to develop her sexual identity like a normal person would.
OT:
Miley Cyrus's therapist would also make a better addition to the Expo than the smosh crew.

What are you talking about? Her sexual identity has developed completely normally! People say sexual development is a process, and they're right, there's only two steps:
1) Innocent, chastity-filled teen popstar who oozes childish indifference from her eyeballs.
2) Radical, sex-crazed maniac wannabe punk rocker who thinks being erotic comes down to waggling your tongue at things (and oozes other things, frankly).

Simple! (But yeah, successful child stars are few and far between, have you seen the Olsen twins and Macauley Culkin lately? Their faces look like a cocktail of drugs, botox and lost childhood).

And on the therapist note, the therapist would actually be really interesting, give us a behind the scenes look at the hit sensation.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

You know, I kinda think that Miley Cyrus would do well to consult a therapist over her problems with her sexuality. It's almostlike she doesn't really understand the concept of sexuality because a giant multi-industrial corporation stole her puberty from her, instaead forcing her into a role that stripped her of any chance to develop her sexual identity like a normal person would.
OT:
Miley Cyrus's therapist would also make a better addition to the Expo than the smosh crew.

What are you talking about? Her sexual identity has developed completely normally! People say sexual development is a process, and they're right, there's only two steps:
1) Innocent, chastity-filled teen popstar who oozes childish indifference from her eyeballs.
2) Radical, sex-crazed maniac wannabe punk rocker who thinks being erotic comes down to waggling your tongue at things (and oozes other things, frankly).

Simple! (But yeah, successful child stars are few and far between, have you seen the Olsen twins and Macauley Culkin lately? Their faces look like a cocktail of drugs, botox and lost childhood).

And on the therapist note, the therapist would actually be really interesting, give us a behind the scenes look at the hit sensation.

Didn't Culkin start taking drugs? Like, all of them?
And the Olsen twins rock an interesting combination of depression and eating-disorders going on, if I am not mistaken.

Of course, there are succesful child-stars that managed to follow up their child-stardom with actual careers (looking at you, NPH) but mostly it seems that being a child-star will fuck you up good.


OT: Let's invite ALL their therapists, THAT would make for an interesting panel.

 

[Pink Gregory]

Christ, these twats aren't going to be on the main panel, are they?

I'd like to see how that goes down with the other panelists...

 

[MrTwo]

Didn't Culkin start taking drugs? Like, all of them?
And the Olsen twins rock an interesting combination of depression and eating-disorders going on, if I am not mistaken.

Of course, there are succesful child-stars that managed to follow up their child-stardom with actual careers (looking at you, NPH) but mostly it seems that being a child-star will fuck you up good.


OT: Let's invite ALL their therapists, THAT would make for an interesting panel.

Yeah, I think Macauley is home alone quite a bit now. Alone with the cocaine and the voices, anyways.

But NPH, yes I forgot about him! You've just reminded me I should go watch Dr Horrible again, please mack another one Joss. Please?

Fuck their therapists, invite NPH along as well. OK I think we've got this worked out, there is a panel of Miley Cyrus, Macauley Culkin (incidentally same initials, coincidence?) and the Olsen Twins' therapists, with NPH asking hilarious questions of them. We'll call it "Child Stars - Successes and Fuckups".

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Didn't Culkin start taking drugs? Like, all of them?
And the Olsen twins rock an interesting combination of depression and eating-disorders going on, if I am not mistaken.

Of course, there are succesful child-stars that managed to follow up their child-stardom with actual careers (looking at you, NPH) but mostly it seems that being a child-star will fuck you up good.


OT: Let's invite ALL their therapists, THAT would make for an interesting panel.

Yeah, I think Macauley is home alone quite a bit now. Alone with the cocaine and the voices, anyways.

But NPH, yes I forgot about him! You've just reminded me I should go watch Dr Horrible again, please mack another one Joss. Please?

Fuck their therapists, invite NPH along as well. OK I think we've got this worked out, there is a panel of Miley Cyrus, Macauley Culkin (incidentally same initials, coincidence?) and the Olsen Twins' therapists, with NPH asking hilarious questions of them. We'll call it "Child Stars - Successes and Fuckups".

I demand NPH be in full Dr. Horrbile costume for this panel!
And he should also perform random acts of magic and trickery just because.

It would be legend....(you knew this was coming)...wait for it....DARY.


Boy, we sure managed to go off the rails, though I am very much pleased with the result of our joined efforts. We should pitch this to the scapist-xpo-crew.
Maybe have smosh as the usher-boys or something. Don't give them a mic though.

 

[MrTwo]

I demand NPH be in full Dr. Horrbile costume for this panel!
And he should also perform random acts of magic and trickery just because.

It would be legend....(you knew this was coming)...wait for it....DARY.

Boy, we sure managed to go off the rails, though I am very much pleased with the result of our joined efforts. We should pitch this to the scapist-xpo-crew.
Maybe have smosh as the usher-boys or something. Don't give them a mic though.

Well, he is President of the Magic Castle, so I'm expecting some fancy sorcery. Maybe he could make smosh disappear?

Hey, rails are for trains anyways, so with our brilliant brainstorming we've managed to come up with a fantastic panel that is definitely feasible (and on-topic). Spiffing good show.

And usher-boys? I'm thinking cleaners. And by cleaners, I mean toilet cleaners. And by toilet cleaners, I mean ensuring the toilets work properly by tasting the water and whatnot. A fitting role, I think.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

I demand NPH be in full Dr. Horrbile costume for this panel!
And he should also perform random acts of magic and trickery just because.

It would be legend....(you knew this was coming)...wait for it....DARY.

Boy, we sure managed to go off the rails, though I am very much pleased with the result of our joined efforts. We should pitch this to the scapist-xpo-crew.
Maybe have smosh as the usher-boys or something. Don't give them a mic though.

Well, he is President of the Magic Castle, so I'm expecting some fancy sorcery. Maybe he could make smosh disappear?

Hey, rails are for trains anyways, so with our brilliant brainstorming we've managed to come up with a fantastic panel that is definitely feasible (and on-topic). Spiffing good show.

And usher-boys? I'm thinking cleaners. And by cleaners, I mean toilet cleaners. And by toilet cleaners, I mean ensuring the toilets work properly by tasting the water and whatnot. A fitting role, I think.

You would trust such an important role to these guys?
You are a braver man than I am sir.

No, if anything, I think that we should have them work as booth-babes for Jim Sterling, carrying him to his panels, wearing nothing but palm leaf-loin-clothes, which they subsequently use to fan Jim and purple dildo-swords with which they defend their master against the germ-ridden unwashed masses, so his delicate constitution will not suffer from another ill-gotten illness.

 

[MrTwo]

You would trust such an important role to these guys?
You are a braver man than I am sir.

No, if anything, I think that we should have them work as booth-babes for Jim Sterling, carrying him to his panels, wearing nothing but palm leaf-loin-clothes, which they subsequently use to fan Jim and purple dildo-swords with which they defend their master against the germ-ridden unwashed masses, so his delicate constitution will not suffer from another ill-gotten illness.

That was a very detailed description. Experience in the field, perhaps?

But I think Jim can be his own booth babe, working that sexy bod to sell merchandise and whatnot. That man needs a bikini, I'm telling you. Although the purple dildo-defenders are a good idea, but I'm not sure Smosh has the strength to wield these mighty weapons. Maybe we can draft in Volition developers for that job?

Yes, call in Volition developers for the Escapist Expo instead of smosh, perfectly reasonable request (lets not tell them they'll be wielding dildo bats in palm leaf loin cloths though).

 

[Calibanbutcher]

You would trust such an important role to these guys?
You are a braver man than I am sir.

No, if anything, I think that we should have them work as booth-babes for Jim Sterling, carrying him to his panels, wearing nothing but palm leaf-loin-clothes, which they subsequently use to fan Jim and purple dildo-swords with which they defend their master against the germ-ridden unwashed masses, so his delicate constitution will not suffer from another ill-gotten illness.

That was a very detailed description. Experience in the field, perhaps?

But I think Jim can be his own booth babe, working that sexy bod to sell merchandise and whatnot. That man needs a bikini, I'm telling you. Although the purple dildo-defenders are a good idea, but I'm not sure Smosh has the strength to wield these mighty weapons. Maybe we can draft in Volition developers for that job?

Yes, call in Volition developers for the Escapist Expo instead of smosh, perfectly reasonable request (lets not tell them they'll be wielding dildo bats in palm leaf loin cloths though).

Sadly no, I have not yet had the possibility to protect our glorious overlord, though a man can dream, can he not?
Also I assumed it was a given that Jim would be wearing nothing but a Princess-Leia-Bikini-Outfit and I felt that I didn't need to speficy that.
As far as volition goes, I am reasonably certain that, if we told them what the job entailed, they would pay US for the opportunity to beat random members of the audience with huge floppy purple dildos.

And now I shall prepare my Jabba the Hutt costume for completely unrelated reasons.

 

[MrTwo]

Sadly no, I have not yet had the possibility to protect our glorious overlord, though a man can dream, can he not?
Also I assumed it was a given that Jim would be wearing nothing but a Princess-Leia-Bikini-Outfit and I felt that I didn't need to speficy that.
As far as volition goes, I am reasonably certain that, if we told them what the job entailed, they would pay US for the opportunity to beat random members of the audience with huge floppy purple dildos.

And now I shall prepare my Jabba the Hutt costume for completely unrelated reasons.

And now I have the mental image of a near naked Jim Sterling in chains, watched intently by a manatee in a Jabba the Hutt costume. Thanks very much.

Also, come on, Volition won't be beating random members of the audience, just the ones who seem like wankers or the ones who need a bit of sexual healing. I'm wondering now if THQ paid for Volition to buy a giant purple dildo, just to check the dimensions and get the floppiness just right. That could be awkward to explain on the financial statement. So long as nobody writes "personal reasons" I think it'd be fine though.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Sadly no, I have not yet had the possibility to protect our glorious overlord, though a man can dream, can he not?
Also I assumed it was a given that Jim would be wearing nothing but a Princess-Leia-Bikini-Outfit and I felt that I didn't need to speficy that.
As far as volition goes, I am reasonably certain that, if we told them what the job entailed, they would pay US for the opportunity to beat random members of the audience with huge floppy purple dildos.

And now I shall prepare my Jabba the Hutt costume for completely unrelated reasons.

And now I have the mental image of a near naked Jim Sterling in chains, watched intently by a manatee in a Jabba the Hutt costume. Thanks very much.

Also, come on, Volition won't be beating random members of the audience, just the ones who seem like wankers or the ones who need a bit of sexual healing. I'm wondering now if THQ paid for Volition to buy a giant purple dildo, just to check the dimensions and get the floppiness just right. That could be awkward to explain on the financial statement. So long as nobody writes "personal reasons" I think it'd be fine though.

Oh, you are most welcome.

"Sexual Healing?" You think Miley Cyrus could benefit from being assaulted by Volition employees with floppy purple dildos?
I think we need to conduct a scientific experience on this subject.
We shall need a group consisting of sexually repressed ex-child-stars and a control group consisting of non-damaged ex-child-stars, which we shall subsequently assault with humongous purple dildos of floppyness.
FOR SCIENCE.

Remember, that if you want to picture this, you need to imagine Jim Sterling in a Princess Leia costume dual-wielding purple dildos, whilst shackled to a manatee in a Jabba-the-Hutt costume.

 

[MrTwo]

Oh, you are most welcome.

"Sexual Healing?" You think Miley Cyrus could benefit from being assaulted by Volition employees with floppy purple dildos?
I think we need to conduct a scientific experience on this subject.
We shall need a group consisting of sexually repressed ex-child-stars and a control group consisting of non-damaged ex-child-stars, which we shall subsequently assault with humongous purple dildos of floppyness.
FOR SCIENCE.

Glados would approve. Although some of these damaged ex-child stars have probably already had the experience of being assaulted with humongous purple dildos, but I digress.

TEAM 1: Olsen Twins, Macauley Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus.
TEAM 2: NPH, pretty much the entire cast of the early Harry Potter films (go Britain in not fucking your kids up so much) and Frankie Muniz.

FIGHT!

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Oh, you are most welcome.

"Sexual Healing?" You think Miley Cyrus could benefit from being assaulted by Volition employees with floppy purple dildos?
I think we need to conduct a scientific experience on this subject.
We shall need a group consisting of sexually repressed ex-child-stars and a control group consisting of non-damaged ex-child-stars, which we shall subsequently assault with humongous purple dildos of floppyness.
FOR SCIENCE.

Glados would approve. Although some of these damaged ex-child stars have probably already had the experience of being assaulted with humongous purple dildos, but I digress.

TEAM 1: Olsen Twins, Macauley Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus.
TEAM 2: NPH, pretty much the entire cast of the early Harry Potter films (go Britain in not fucking your kids up so much) and Frankie Muniz.

FIGHT!

I think THAT would be a panel we'd all watch.
Make them wear skimpy outfits as well.
ALL OF THEM.
Also: I guess it's a good thing the mods are too busy laughing their asses off, otherwise we might have gotten a warning for completely derailing a thread.

OK, here you go scapist-crew;
THE ULTIMATE PANEL:

ME, your resident crazy manatee, in a Jabba-the-Hut costume, holding the chains of your one and only Jim Sterling, sporting the full Leia-Sex-Slave-Outfit, who, supported by Volition developers in palm-leaf loinclothes, pummels former child start with giant flopping purple dildos.

 

[MrTwo]

I think THAT would be a panel we'd all watch.
Make them wear skimpy outfits as well.
ALL OF THEM.
Also: I guess it's a good thing the mods are too busy laughing their asses off, otherwise we might have gotten a warning for completely derailing a thread.

OK, here you go scapist-crew;
THE ULTIMATE PANEL:

ME, your resident crazy manatee, in a Jabba-the-Hut costume, holding the chains of your one and only Jim Sterling, sporting the full Leia-Sex-Slave-Outfit, who, supported by Volition developers in palm-leaf loinclothes, pummels former child start with giant flopping purple dildos.

*dusts off hands* A job well done, I think. Smosh Games, beat that! (also Miley Cyrus is quite good at wearing skimpy outfits, I've heard. Something about the VMA's? I dunno).

Well I must say its been good fun holding the driver of this thread at gunpoint, taking it completely the rails and then detonating it in a ditch in the middle of nowhere, but I must be off now. Cheerio my good manatee, and I hope one day we can delight in the joy of clubbing damaged ex-child stars with floppy purple dildos. Adios!

 

[Calibanbutcher]

I think THAT would be a panel we'd all watch.
Make them wear skimpy outfits as well.
ALL OF THEM.
Also: I guess it's a good thing the mods are too busy laughing their asses off, otherwise we might have gotten a warning for completely derailing a thread.

OK, here you go scapist-crew;
THE ULTIMATE PANEL:

ME, your resident crazy manatee, in a Jabba-the-Hut costume, holding the chains of your one and only Jim Sterling, sporting the full Leia-Sex-Slave-Outfit, who, supported by Volition developers in palm-leaf loinclothes, pummels former child start with giant flopping purple dildos.

*dusts off hands* A job well done, I think. Smosh Games, beat that! (also Miley Cyrus is quite good at wearing skimpy outfits, I've heard. Something about the VMA's? I dunno).

Well I must say its been good fun holding the driver of this thread at gunpoint, taking it completely the rails and then detonating it in a ditch in the middle of nowhere, but I must be off now. Cheerio my good manatee, and I hope one day we can delight in the joy of clubbing damaged ex-child stars with floppy purple dildos. Adios!

Farewell my brother in arms, may we both live to derail another thread another time so the forums may once again erupt in flames laughter, rainbows and friendship.
And now I must get myself a Royale with cheese.
Then again, I heard good things about Kahuna burgers.


@xpo crew: Maybe get on that? Have Kahuna Burger cater the expo?

 

[Andy Shandy]

Well at least, by the looks of the panels they're involved in, I can easily ignore them when the videos come up online. Yeah, yeah, I know both owned by the same company and all that, but The Escapist's content and Smosh's "content" target two completely different audiences to put it politely.

 

[Weaver]

I have no idea who Smosh is. I was expecting to come into this thread to be greeted by cries of "Yay! Smosh will be here!".

This has been a strange experience for me. And it will likely be rather strange for Smosh as well.

They're basically a gaming/comedy channel aimed at like 13 year olds.
This isn't being flamboyantly derogatory like "omg they're so immature" it really does seem to be comedy targeted specifically at that age range. I have two younger cousins around that age who just love them.

I mean, that's fine; fill the market niche and make your money. But we're all old, jaded gamers here.