Escapist News Network: Blizzard Warning

Mikester1290

New member
Jun 29, 2010
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Dollys hat goes on

Dollys hat goes off

Dollys hat goes on

Dollys hat goes off

Dollys hat goes on..

aa

ohh..

oh noes,

Dollys been sick...
 

Loonerinoes

New member
Apr 9, 2009
889
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Melancholy_Ocelot said:
Dear Escapist,

Rex needs his own weekly conspiracy theory show. That was great.

Thanks,
Ryan
Agreed. That's a nice conspiracy theory really. Not presented over the top and using proper irrational logic that starts reasonably, but spins wildly out of control by the end. :)
 

Flamezdudes

New member
Aug 27, 2009
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Chilling, very chilling. Blizzard is coming to take us by storm and rule the known world with a icy grip!

Great episode, you should really consider giving Rex his own show.
 

Vhite

New member
Aug 17, 2009
1,980
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They already rule over 2 universes an now they want ours. AWESOME!
Now you seen why their next MMORPG is so secret, it wont be a game. It will be a reality.
 

Admiral Stukov

I spill my drink!
Jul 1, 2009
6,943
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unacomn said:
He makes a good point, would a map of Florida get removed from Starcraft 2? It is shaped like dong.
Quick, does anyone have a map editor on hand to test this?
Or map of Scandinavia?
 

funkzillabot

New member
Dec 10, 2009
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Ok, that dude is a loony, and I love him. He was just making sh*t-up on the fly. And what was his name? "Hobo Bob?". You guys need to bring his crazy-ass back. Next he can tell us about the "Airplane Jet Trails".
 

PurpleSky

New member
Apr 20, 2010
2,055
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It was only a matter of time until you picked someone like Rex to join your team. Oh ENN, you so crazy.
 

GodKlown

New member
Dec 16, 2009
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Crazy rant my ass... we've already been shown an example of this behavior in a three part movie series. Perhaps you've heard of it... it was called The Matrix! Yeah kids, Blizzard wants a real life version of The Matrix! With the money they've made over the last six years, is it really that hard to believe that Blizzard could afford to construct a tower to house thousands of "gamers" to "play" their games... really, they just want to suck the life force out of people to power their servers so they can in turn drain their bank accounts to build more towers to house MORE gamers to continue this digital ponzi scheme in order to have the world's largest economy in their own studio! They will drain our biochemical energy to power their servers to keep their games running, luring more and more people into their games and sell them "guild housing" (those are the towers!) and invite them to "move in". Once there, they will hook them into the game through a new type of virtual reality suit that will convert the electrical impulses of the brain and their heat into usable energy. Our poop will be converted into a biofuel to run their damned hybrid cars and spaceships!

We are now officially through the looking glass here, people. The Matrix, Lawnmower Man, Virtuosity... these movies were all warnings about Blizzard and the appeal of online gaming and the dangers they pose on our future. You can't stop the machine, you've already fed the beast so much it can already become self-aware. Role-playing and LARPs will soon become the same thing in this "virtual world" in which we will no only inhabit, but will eventually literally give our very lives in order to keep it going. Where will it end? Will there be a Neo to unplug us from this cyber-apocalypse? There has been no government oversight to stem the tide of Blizzard's growth in this era, so while they've just been getting richer and more powerful, the government which is sworn to protect us has just been sitting on their hands, collecting tax money from this company and turning a blind eye to their unchecked growth and potential threat to the world. Their fanboys plague the internets with their relentless fanaticism and refuse to believe anything but what their Big Brother Blizzard tells them. They will blindly follow their leader into the depths of their insidious plans to rule this world, and eventually conquer the entire universe, spreading the StarCraft and WarCraft virus to alien civilizations and peoples until all are under the spell of Blizzard.

Unless Will Smith gets his act together, we're all screwed. Oh shit... Seshin! Damn it, they've gotten to Will Smith. Those crafty bastards have all the angles covered. That's it, game over man. We're officially done for now. Get Gene Hackman and his Faraday cages ready, it's time to join the ranks of the Mole people and Saul.

(Top THAT, ENN!)
 

Contun

New member
Mar 28, 2009
1,591
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DO NOT RESIST. BLIZZARD SHALL ENSLAVE YOU ALL. BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW MASTERS.
 

thorin01

New member
May 15, 2010
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That was just about a near perfect conspiracy rant.

I was surprised Wes/Rex didn't mention the development time for Starcraft 2 when he talked about patience.
 

Talvrae

The Purple Fairy
Dec 8, 2009
896
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GrahamS said:
Blizzard Warning

ENN delves into the darkness behind everyone's favorite studio.

Watch Video
erm... make years isay Blizzard is overrated...