Ever Gotten Caught..... You Know..........

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Crazycat690

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Aug 31, 2009
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Yes, once, I'm surprised I haven't been caught more than that actually. I've gotten very careful but man, I used to be quite reckless, there could even be people in the same room, that was tricky...
 

Jesus Phish

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Jan 28, 2010
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Twice. But by total strangers and in places we shouldn't have been in (at least I shouldn't have).

Never by a family member or friend.
 

Master_of_Oldskool

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Sep 5, 2008
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Allow me to tell you a horror story, my friend.

Imagine, if you will, that you are lying in bed, in the comfort and privacy of your own room, enjoying yourself quite thoroughly whilst images of your middle-school music teacher, your girlfriend, her fictional twin sister, an office chair, and an economy-sized vat of banana pudding dance through your head. As you lay there, tapping the natural reserves, you start to get so comfortable that you actually start to nod off a bit, not really sleeping, but getting drowsy.

Somehow, through the haze of near-sleep, you continue using the manual fuel pump. You hear nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is right with the world. And then, suddenly, you get the urge to stretch. You extend the arm currently not being used to play the organic slide-whistle above your head. Your actual head tilts upwards and to the side, giving you a perfect view of your door.

And standing in the doorway is your father, wearing a look of exquisite disgust and horror.

He's yelling, and you get the impression that he's been yelling for quite some time, but you somehow didn't hear him. Suddenly the entire world consists of that screaming man, your hands, and your pants, which you are frantically trying to pull back up but, in the absence of your legs, this cannot be done. Your father has at this point had the decency to close the door, but you can tell that he's still on the other side. As your pants finally begin to get the idea and reluctantly move towards your crotch, you shout something barely coherent about having the common sense to knock first, and then it all goes black.

You come to a minute later, peeking through a crack in your door and asking him what he wanted in the first place. You're using words and phrases you don't usually associate with speaking to your father, but he doesn't seem to care or even notice as he answers your question.

Nothing. He wanted nothing. He just had a sudden feeling that he should engage you in conversation.

He saw no reason to respect the implications of a closed door.

True to the last word, I swear.
 

Littlee300

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Oct 26, 2009
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Vangaurd227 said:
Llil said:
Vangaurd227 said:
Well i'm just glad that its not considered a professional sport yet
Maybe not professional, but here you go: Masturbate-a-thon [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbate-a-thon].
The winner of "Longest Time Spent Masturbating/Male" (and also the World Record Holder in this category) is Mr. Masanobu Sato, who in 2008 masturbated for 9 hours and 33 minutes. In 2009 he extended his record to 9 hours and 58 minutes.

The winner of "Most Orgasms/Male" was set by Big Rob in 2010 -- at 83 climaxes, a world record.
uuuuuuuum what the heck?!?! is this real?????
Not sure but...
 
Sep 14, 2009
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Vangaurd227 said:
l33tness08 said:
Vangaurd227 said:
No....because i dont do it....
You're missing out on a pretty enjoyable past-time then...

OT- No I haven't. And I've never locked a door either.
it's considered a passtime now??
very much so, i used to never do it and it is much more of a pass time than anything else, gives me a relaxed feeling for the day (or night depending on when)


OT: Thankfully i have never gotten caught...but I am decently sneaky about it and i always check the house to make sure if there is anyone else home i know where they are at and what they are doing.
 

an874

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Jul 17, 2009
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Risingblade said:
No because I lock the freaking door
Ditto, learn to prepare by locking the door before you start because you're not in your right mind while you're doing it and won't have the presence of mind in the middle of it to get up and lock up.
 

00slash00

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Dec 29, 2009
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a few times by my parents and twice by my room mates. with my room mates i told them i had been changing and they seemed to buy it. but my parents i was able to conceal it every time except once. my mother knocked on my door so i closed the laptop and hit the mute button. unfortunately id forgotten that closing my laptop signs me out so hitting mute didnt do anything. once my mother started hearing sex noises coming from my laptop i figured the jig was pretty much up
 

doctorsilly

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Feb 27, 2011
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I dont know, some pretty close calls, by my mum and little bro. Either, I am a fapping ninja or they pretend not to see.
 

Ando85

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Apr 27, 2011
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I live by this rule "Tis better to have the door locked and one think you were wanking, than to leave the door unlocked and remove all doubt".
 

Private Custard

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Dec 30, 2007
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And here was me thinking that nothing, and I mean nothing, is faster than a man putting his dick back in his trousers when he hears the door opening!
 

Rascarin

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Feb 8, 2009
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Sojoez said:
Am I the only one that finds it weird that a 16 year old boy (Vangaurd227) doesn't wank? I started exploring myself when I was 12 for crying out loud!
It's not that weird. Some people just don't have the urge. He's already said he tried it and didn't really care for it. I personally didn't start explorations of that nature until I was 19. (I was raised by mormons though, so...)

OT: Never been caught, have been walked in on during. I am very good at covering it up.
 

Retal19

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Dec 5, 2010
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I don't have a lock on my door, but I have never been caught either. I'm too fast, and I do it at the right times. It helps that my family often leave me at home by myself for a while during the Summer.

Although they pick up on the smell, so recently I've taken to keeping my window open.
 

Hoagster51

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Jun 8, 2010
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oops, major post fail by me, myself and I.

yes I have been caught, by the girlfriend, she was angry because I didnt wait for her to get home, and I was like "you're early, I am doing it so we can have sex for longer later..."
She was not impressed.
 

Hoagster51

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Jun 8, 2010
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Retal19 said:
I don't have a lock on my door, but I have never been caught either. I'm too fast, and I do it at the right times. It helps that my family often leave me at home by myself for a while during the Summer.

Although they pick up on the smell, so recently I've taken to keeping my window open.
LOL too fast. Ninja powers at work.
 

PrototypeC

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Apr 19, 2009
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My mother is not a good actress, but is a very smart woman. Somehow she never figured it out! After a couple of really close calls I became very good at deleting all the internet history.

Of course, skipping school in order to pleasure oneself does become kind of hard to explain... so I did end up having to confess one day. That was also the day that I realized nobody cares if I do it and it's not disgusting (more or less)! She was laughing that that was all it was and incredibly happy that I wasn't doing drugs or anything.
 

VladG

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Aug 24, 2010
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No, but being caught by a roomate would be quite amusing for me because I have no shame and I'm great at one-liners.

Caught by a family member... probably less fun.
 

gabmed

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2009
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What, you mean secretly listening to pop songs without letting anyone know and deny it all later?

Why, never. Because I lock the freaking door.
 

Jewrean

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Jun 27, 2010
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Never caught masturbating. I was caught looking at Pornography by my Mother when I was about 8 though.

On an unrelated note: I laugh at and pity people who think masturbation is immoral.