Ever Gotten Caught..... You Know..........

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ReservoirAngel

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Nov 6, 2010
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IzisviAziria said:
Vangaurd227 said:
....no i wasn't saying that masturbating is weird in general...i was referring to the world record
oh okay. ya, doing it for 9+ hours is probably weird. I'll give you that one lol.
Is that 9 hours continuous?

Wow... that'd start chafing horribly. ouch
 

Blaster395

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Dec 13, 2009
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Alasdair Dunbar said:
You cant go blind you stupid git thats a rumour
Lets go even further. Evidence points towards masturbation reducing your chance of testicular cancer.
 

loc978

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Sep 18, 2010
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Bleeding off the pressure valve, eh? Yeah, I was caught once. By my brother. I think I was 10 years old. It was awkward.
 

Snork Maiden

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Nov 25, 2009
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ReservoirAngel said:
Note to self. never have sex with someone who owns a cat ever again...
Nothing quite like the feeling of guilt moving the cat out of the room before you can begin.
 

ReservoirAngel

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Snork Maiden said:
ReservoirAngel said:
Note to self. never have sex with someone who owns a cat ever again...
Nothing quite like the feeling of guilt moving the cat out of the room before you can begin.
I'd prefer that to the cat jumping in the window and suddenly deciding that it wants the attention its owner is currently giving to you. It's hard to have sex with a Siamese cat clawing at your chest.
 

Snork Maiden

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ReservoirAngel said:
Snork Maiden said:
ReservoirAngel said:
Note to self. never have sex with someone who owns a cat ever again...
Nothing quite like the feeling of guilt moving the cat out of the room before you can begin.
I'd prefer that to the cat jumping in the window and suddenly deciding that it wants the attention its owner is currently giving to you. It's hard to have sex with a Siamese cat clawing at your chest.
I dunno, at least that has a humorous slant to it. I'd sooner brief hilarious interlude than a cat sat in the corner giving you a look that says "I know what you're doing" which is very much a mood bomb when you make eye contact.
 

Mordwyl

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It's been scientifically proven that attempting such acts will heighten all your senses and awaken your sixth. Just so you do not get caught.
 

ReservoirAngel

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Snork Maiden said:
ReservoirAngel said:
Snork Maiden said:
ReservoirAngel said:
Note to self. never have sex with someone who owns a cat ever again...
Nothing quite like the feeling of guilt moving the cat out of the room before you can begin.
I'd prefer that to the cat jumping in the window and suddenly deciding that it wants the attention its owner is currently giving to you. It's hard to have sex with a Siamese cat clawing at your chest.
I dunno, at least that has a humorous slant to it. I'd sooner brief hilarious interlude than a cat sat in the corner giving you a look that says "I know what you're doing" which is very much a mood bomb when you make eye contact.
How is a cat looking at you more of a mood kill than a cat climbing on your chest and attacking you during the act? And trust me on this, it's not a brief hilarious interlude, it's a brief but horrific event that kills any possible mood and double-taps it just in case it ever tried to come back.
 

LightspeedJack

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Yeah, I turned around, looked the person dead in the eye, and finished.

Hahaha no I was just joking about that last part I did almost get caught once but I managed to put everything away before anyone entered the room.
 

elbrandino

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No. Because I wait until people are either gone or asleep, and lock my damn door. I've also never been caught with my girlfriend, but that's not something I'm getting into detail with. Plus it's off topic. So nope, never.
 

ShakyFt Slasher

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Yeah my grandma walked in and asked "What are you doing Christian?!" she proceeded to have a concerned look on her face and walked away. D:
 

Mr Companion

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StBishop said:
Thought this was going to be sex. I've never been caught masturbating.

I have been caught in the middle of sex.
What did you get caught on and what part of you got caught on it?
 

xchurchx

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Nov 2, 2009
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like i said in the last tread like this i switch it to porn as they walk in
better being grownded thn dissowned :l
 

Snork Maiden

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Nov 25, 2009
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ReservoirAngel said:
How is a cat looking at you more of a mood kill than a cat climbing on your chest and attacking you during the act? And trust me on this, it's not a brief hilarious interlude, it's a brief but horrific event that kills any possible mood and double-taps it just in case it ever tried to come back.
Wasn't really trying to make a contest of it :p Just because almost anything not performance related that happens in the middle of sex is normally pretty funny. Fall out of the bed? Hilarious. Spill lube everywhere? Comedy. Have someone walk in? Awkward for them, funny for us once they've left. Is the location (squeaky bed, in a tent) going to compromise your privacy? It's a game to keep it quiet!

Having a cat around is something that makes me uncomfortable to even begin. A parallel would be that when I lived at home I certainly be able to get going in the lounge 4/5 minutes before I knew parents would roll in.
 

Ben Jackson

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I've been caught masturbating MANY times. I'm serious.
One time I was in my room alone, my mum walked in to offer me some pizza...she just said "teenagers" gave the pizza and walked off.
Pizza+Masturbation=WIN
 

ReservoirAngel

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Snork Maiden said:
ReservoirAngel said:
How is a cat looking at you more of a mood kill than a cat climbing on your chest and attacking you during the act? And trust me on this, it's not a brief hilarious interlude, it's a brief but horrific event that kills any possible mood and double-taps it just in case it ever tried to come back.
Wasn't really trying to make a contest of it :p Just because almost anything not performance related that happens in the middle of sex is normally pretty funny. Fall out of the bed? Hilarious. Spill lube everywhere? Comedy. Have someone walk in? Awkward for them, funny for us once they've left. Is the location (squeaky bed, in a tent) going to compromise your privacy? It's a game to keep it quiet!
Okay I'll give you the falling out of bed one as hilarious. That did happen to me (I'm not exactly coordinated but this was more an issue of 'getting carried away with it') and after falling about the room laughing both our arses of for the better part of 15 minutes, things resumed.

Snork Maiden said:
Having a cat around is something that makes me uncomfortable to even begin.
Yeah I know what you mean. That time with the cat assaulting my chest kind of put me off cats in general... as well as sleeping with anyone who has numerous invasive pets.

I will raise you the ultimate in mood killers though: narrowly avoiding fainting during sex. That saps all the romance out of the situation, believe me.
 

got_ginger

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Jun 27, 2011
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almost. it was so close it wasn't funny. was going down on my other half early morning, my dad opened the door, i managed to jump back into a uncompromising position on the bed, he was none the wiser. thiat's why you do it when no one else is in (or will come back any time soon).