Everybody Poops.

[Kenbo Slice]

When I was a junior in high school I had a sub for English one day and the first thing he did was write "EVERYBODY POOPS" on the board. We asked him why he wrote that and he said because it's true. But he didn't make us do our assigned work, he just talked about the fact that everybody poops so it was a good day . So I ask of you fellow Escapists, share your stories of awesome teachers!!!

 

[Johnnyallstar]

You know what pisses me off about this post? The knowledge that this A-hole probably makes double what I do, and I work 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, and don't have a 3 month vacation. And I don't get paid while off duty but on call like someone in the teachers union does.

That pisses me off.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I thought this thread was going to be about the book, Everybody Poops, and feel thrown off especially since you mentioned a sub in English class. I really have nothing to contribute so here ya go:

 

[Hero in a half shell]

This thread should be about poop instead, what time do you normally poop?

I normally do a big poo when I get back from uni, at like 5pm. I don't do poos any other time really.

Just a heads up, derailing threads doesn't work as well here as it might on other internet forums.

I had a sub teacher who we swapped names for, and told him we were different people, it worked until a teacher came into the room, requesting Darren, and the right guy stood up and left, he was confused because that was not the name he had been given. Then he realised what we did, but he just laughed

 

[Pariah87]

I don't know if he was an awesome teacher, but we had one stand in who we used to fuck with constantly. Looking back it was probably a dickish thing to do on behalf of the class but at the time we found it hillarious. You know those teachers who have no backbone? He was one of those. Some teachers commanded respect through a simple look but this guy, as nice as he was, couldn't control the more antagonistic elements of the class to save his life.

On one occasion, we hid a mobile phone in one of the ceiling tiles. At 5 minute intervals someone would ring the phone and it would go off. He would of course ask who's phone it was but everyone denied it, we all got our phones out and he could see none of ours was ringing. He got more and more frustrated as the lesson went on. Of course, no one explained what was going on as the disruptive kids were by default the "cool kids" and no one wanted to seem like a loser.

Another day in GCSE Maths, our teacher was a big Celtic fan. That's a Glasgow football team for all you non Brits. Anyway, a couple of the football fans in the class got him talking and instead of quadratic equations we spent an hour and a half listening to him waffle on about Celtics season so far and the English leagues and blah blah blah. Most boring 90 minutes of my life.

 

[godfist88]

snip*

what class were you taking? 0_0

 

[Kenbo Slice]

snip*

what class were you taking? 0_0

It was just a regular english class, we just happened to have a sub that day.

 

[megapenguinx]

This thread should be about poop instead, what time do you normally poop?

I normally do a big poo when I get back from uni, at like 5pm. I don't do poos any other time really.

Fun Fact: Derailing threads is a good way to get whacked by a Mod

As for my awesome teacher, I had an English teacher who looked and behaved like Robin Williams. It was pretty awesome.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I had a science teacher that said "Epic fail" when an experiment didn't work. And another who decided to put in way more sodium than she was supposed to in a beaker of water.

Science teachers are cool.

Oh and an English teacher who swore when she dropped a DVD.

 

[LadyMint]

I had a teacher who let me turn in maps I built in Duke Nukem 3D's BUILD program twice as class projects. One to illustrate my idea for the "Prison of the Future." And another time to show what it took (back in those days) to make a game level. I wish I could see her again and tell her how much I appreciated her encouragement.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

I had a strangeass health sub, who talked about the process of milk (yes, milk) and how the cows are fed X and it's gross because Y. Then, she said it would be better if you drank liquor.

Let me repeat: This was a health class.

 

[khaimera]

This thread should be about poop instead, what time do you normally poop?

I normally do a big poo when I get back from uni, at like 5pm. I don't do poos any other time really.

Fun Fact: Derailing threads is a good way to get whacked by a Mod

As for my awesome teacher, I had an English teacher who looked and behaved like Robin Williams. It was pretty awesome.

Nah, I used to derail shit all the time. Its a hobby of mine.

Everybody Poops is a classic book.

Unlike all fan fiction, which is awful and pointless.

 

[Vakz]

Some of my teacher's go to Dreamhack every year. Another teacher told me how much money he saved by buying his PS3 and his games from Canada. Another teacher (seriously, this guy is almost 60) always brought a Jolt Cola to every class.

Also, in my school (it's a very IT-oriented school) each student is given their own laptop. Once, a friend of mine was playing Warcraft 3 in class, when the teacher was walking towards him. He tried to tab out, but his game froze. When the teacher came to him, he said "Ehh.. it's lagging..", whereas my teacher simply chuckled and said "yes, I can see that"

 

[Psycho Cat Industries]

Not really a class but my 6-8 advisory teachers let me draw

 

[lacktheknack]

<link=http://www.amazon.ca/How-Shit-Woods-Second-Environmentally/dp/0898156270>For some reason, this felt very relevant.

I don't get teachers like that, by the way.

 

[[Kira Must Die]]

Goddamn it, and I just so happen to be eating chocolate now...

The only story that comes to mind that I remember is one of my teachers told us a story about when he was working at another school, he was teaching the class about WWII, and one method he used was that he promised to give an A+ to everyone on the condition that if they run into each other during breaks / lunch, they have to greet each other like this [http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01504/salute_1504842c.jpg].
And they did.

 

[Kwaren]

This thread should be about poop instead, what time do you normally poop?

I normally do a big poo when I get back from uni, at like 5pm. I don't do poos any other time really.

Don't listen to the derail haters! I poop like seven times a day, and I don't think that's normal.

Also,

Spoiler

he's doing it wrong.

You might want to spoiler that. Some people on this site don't have strong stomachs, and like that big red report button.

OT: I had a science teacher that would set off a firecracker next to your head if you fell asleep.

 

[Verlander]

Is the point of this a way to get across that everyone is effectively the same creature, regardless of skin colour, size, gender, sexuality, age etc, using the word "poop" to attract the attention of immature children?

Well, that seems pretty out of place for an English class.

Me? A lot of my teachers were awesome all the way through. I could easily point out the dickheads quicker than I can point out the good ones.

 

[Wadders]

This thread should be about poop instead, what time do you normally poop?

I normally do a big poo when I get back from uni, at like 5pm. I don't do poos any other time really.

Whenever the need arises. Its usually mid morning, around 11am, but I'll often have to take a dreaded 'beer shit' when I wake up about 1pm after a heavy night out. That pretty much stops anyone esle using the toilet for at least an hour or so afterwards.

Another poop-related factor I'd like to discuss is buying toilet paper. I live next to a 24/7 shop, so if we run put of paper it's pretty useful, but I always feel really awkward walking down the street at in the daytime with a 4-pack of bog roll under my arm, and nothing else.

It's pretty obvious I'm just going home to take a dump.

This thread should be about poop instead, what time do you normally poop?

I normally do a big poo when I get back from uni, at like 5pm. I don't do poos any other time really.

Don't listen to the derail haters! I poop like seven times a day, and I don't think that's normal.

Also,

Spoiler: Poop Fail

It's safe to say that I lol'd at that, I'm just mildly concerned however, that kid looks pretty fucked up :|

Also, I hate to be the person to re-affirm your fears, but seven times a day is pretty odd. Most people I know who are willing to tell me how much they poop, poop twice a day, max.

I'm enjoying this poop-related derailment far too much for someone who is supposed to be a mature member of society.