Explain game in 5 sentences or less!

[thespyisdead]

Alan Wake

you are a writer who has writer block, and to unblock yourself, you, and your wife, who later disappears and will require saving, go to the most creepiest place imaginable. along the way you bump into Baba Yaga... what? oh! sorry... Barbra Jagger who tells you to to go to Bird Leg cabin. you then wake up, and find strange toilet papers with Stuff written on it, that is yet to happen. Then his own shadow starts attacking him for no apparent reason. finally, he goes back to the cabin, and writes that his wife is free.

as a bonus, here is alan wake giving makkara to the taken:

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Otogi: Myth of Demons

You are killing demons and saving souls. You save souls by breaking everything.

Dead or Alive

Kick people's asses until they are knocked out or time runs out. Fight using grapples, punches and kicks.

Soul Caliber

Kick people's ass until they are knocked out, time runs out or, there is a ring-out. Fight using punches, kicks, blunted weapons, grapples and, throws.

Street Fighter 2

Kick people's asses until they are knocked out or time runs out. Fight using throws, punches, kicks or fireballs.

Mortal Kombat

Kick people's asses until they fucking Die or time runs out. Fight using throws, punches, kicks, weapons, fire, magic and/or, transformation.

 

[fezgod]

Wake up, act like a emotionally stunted immature jackass, drink yourself silly, fall asleep, solve extremely difficult sliding block puzzles in a dream.

I feel this one might be too obvious.

If you replaced "solve extremely difficult sliding block puzzles" with "shoot motherfuckers in slow-mo" you get Max Payne 3.

Some others:

Diablo 2: Click across an entire world do slay Satan and his mates.

Arkham Asylum: Punch your way through the greatest episode of Batman:TAS ever written.

FTL: Imagine what it would be like to be Han Solo/Malcolm Reynolds. However, you will probably die fighting the last boss.

Oblivion: Join guilds, explore dungeons and fight wolves. There is a main quest but you'll probably never get around to doing it.

 

[ThePS1Fan]

Deus Ex:
Put on a trench coat, and fight some conspiracies.
Get experience, and level abilities.
Will you pick rifles, or computers?
Don't pick swimming, because it's fairly useless.

 

[Kakarot89]

Super Mario Brothers
Save the Princess, Save the World.

Castlevania
Storm Dracula's castle and whip him in the face.

GTA Series
Work for gangsters to kill other gangsters so you can become Super Gangster.

Zelda Series
Find Magical MacGuffins. Fight monsters. Save the Princess, Save the World.

Star Fox
A fox in a spaceship blows stuff up.

 

[lacktheknack]

FTL: Faster Than Light

Tomb Raider 1-9

Myst: Online

Silent Hill 3

 

[maninahat]

Five sentences? Let's try five words.

1. Native dullard stabs for FREEDOM.

2. Super Man made from bricks.

3. Nazi x-ray execution murder simulator.

4. Beat up stereotypes within ring.

5. Irish bomber explodes Paris.

6. Communist's daughter prevents heart failure.

7. Augmentations = rasp + snark + long coats.

8. Holiday ruined by the locals.

 

[TheLastFeeder]

Dungeon Lords: This shit just does not work.

 

[Zombie Sodomy]

Kill shit. -at least 90% of games

 

[Evil Smurf]

You have a dildo bat, you hit things with it.

Saints Row 3

 

[TheCommanders]

Personally, I think a five word limit would be more hilarious, so I'll do that (as a bonus, it technically falls within your five sentence limit as well, so everyone is happy!)

Just Cause 2
Hispanic Superman Blows Shit Up.

Bioshock
Underwater City Goes Completely Bonkers.

SimCity
"Muha ha ha ha" - EA

Crysis
Holy Fuck, So Damn Pretty!

Fallout: New Vegas
Amazing Game With Many Bu-gsg-=--sgssidus-gdgfoia#@$#A#@%JAEF<ERROR - FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS IS NOT RESPONDING>

 

[aether-x3]

Digital Devil Saga

"Rend! Slaughter! Devour your Enemies!

Or is actually quoting the game cheating.

In other words:

During a turf war with a rival tribe you find some chick in an egg.
Oh and now everyone is a cannibalistic demon.
Also this chick seems really familiar
Defeat all the other tribes and you will be rewarded or something