Explain teenage mothers to me

[MassiveGeek]

A lot of people thought what you said on your first post I quoted and the others was completely ignorant and stupid, hence the Tweets. But seriously, is there any need to snoop that much?

"Snoop"? You are aware that the internet is accessible to everyone and that you linked your twitter on your account? It's hardly personal when you're essentially posting it for the whooole wide world to see, and you are after all talking about me. Just using your logic. Perhaps you didn't want the world to see the crap you talk about a girl you know nothing about?
Oops.

And oh my, I just quoted you even though you told me not to.

Spoiler: Problem?

I rest my case.

 

[brainslurper]

Some people just really want to have kids and thats all there is to it. You might as well be asking why some people decide to wait till they are married to have sex. Or why anybody does anything really.

Waiting for marriage to have sex never fucked up the lives of children, did it?

 

[awesomeClaw]

Okay, I love the catfight. Just throwin´ that out there.

OT: I dunno. Really, there could be thousands of reasons. You´re asking me to list them up? That sounds like a waste of time.

The important thing is, it´s generally a bad idea. I mean, there´s three things I believe you must have before you launch into motherhood/fatherhood.

1. A steady livingplace (YOUR OWN, OR YOUR PARTNERS) Most teenagers? No.

2. A steady finance (Hard in this economy, but still. IMPORTANT SHIT.) Most teenagers? No.

3. Your partners consents to putting a child in the world (Seriously, if your partner doesn´t want to have a kid, don´t HAVE A FUCKING KID.) Most teenagers? Maybe.

The rest are pretty subjective.

 

[FamoFunk]

A lot of people thought what you said on your first post I quoted and the others was completely ignorant and stupid, hence the Tweets. But seriously, is there any need to snoop that much?

"Snoop"? You are aware that the internet is accessible to everyone and that you linked your twitter on your account? It's hardly personal when you're essentially posting it for the whooole wide world to see, and you are after all talking about me. Just using your logic. Perhaps you didn't want the world to see the crap you talk about a girl you know nothing about?
Oops.

And oh my, I just quoted you even though you told me not to.

Spoiler: Problem?

I rest my case.

Actually yes, you were snooping, it's like having my own little stalker. Checking up on my profile and my Tweets, you're such a Gentleman <3
Those people are members of Escapist, not just general friends I see all the time, they too, also think you speak utter shit and just need to shut the fuck up, because you did brand all teen Mothers, "Stupid Mother fuckers."
You're like one of those assholes who reads the Daily Mail and takes everything they say as truth and makes idiotic sweeping statements. Get into the real fucking world.

And what was that? A bad Troll face? I really don't need to see pictures of your face, mate.

Anyway I'll get a warning for this, go, "rest you case" somewhere else.

Good day, Sir.

 

[MassiveGeek]

Actually yes, you were snooping, it's like having my own little stalker. Checking up on my profile and my Tweets, you're such a Gentleman <3
Those people are members of Escapist, not just general friends I see all the time, they too, also think you speak utter shit and just need to shut the fuck up, because you did brand all teen Mothers, "Stupid Mother fuckers."
You're like one of those assholes who reads the Daily Mail and takes everything they say as truth and makes idiotic sweeping statements. Get into the real fucking world.

And what was that? A bad Troll face? I really don't need to see pictures of your face, mate.

Anyway I'll get a warning for this, go, "rest you case" somewhere else.

Good day, Sir.

Careful, you're starting to become adoreable instead of annoying with your butthurtness. I might have to kiss your face. U mad?

I also like how you've suddenly started referring to me as grown man. :') <3

 

[Caliostro]

snip

snip

You will both stop. You're not discussing anything anymore, just bickering and derailing the thread. And don't bother with "she started it". I'm not interested.

You've both had warnings on this, and I've even made a polite request in this thread before. Enough is enough.

Thank you.

 

[smurf_you]

My mum had me at 18, and I turned out (more or less) fine. Honestly I think so long as you're responsible (both mentally and financially) then if you want to have kids go for it.

 

[RanD00M]

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snip

You will both stop. You're not discussing anything anymore, just bickering and derailing the thread. And don't bother with "she started it". I'm not interested.

You've both had warnings on this, and I've even made a polite request in this thread before. Enough is enough.

Thank you.

Spoiler: This is slightly relevant, but mostly a joke

But good show, this shit was kinda getting out of hand.

 

[liveslowdiefast]

GASP people want to take a unconventional path with their lives! how could they intend on raising a child without proper finacial security, oh lord people not conforming to your view of how to spend their lives. THEY MUST BE STOPPED!

you obviously have never seen or experienced the

bogan/trailer trash/chav thing have you?

lack of education, welfare dependencay all other kinds of stuff

fuck ups generally

can it work? yeah but Id wager thats the exception to the norm

First of i have experianced the "thing" as you describe it, i live east london, not on fucking mars. secondly you act like just becasue these people are apparently from a culture or background that may lean towards the more "bogan/trailer trash/chav thing" they are devoid of any mental thought, and are mindless "fuck ups", which is simpally stupid idea, which seems to imply someone doesn't have much social ability. also you seem to say that if some one has a dependancy on welfare or had a lack of education they become imdeiatly a "fuck up" which is just offensive really, a dependancy on welfare could be for any number of reasons, disability, the economy or prior circumstance. what you strike me as sir, is ignorant.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

There's a handful of reasons why some teenagers are eager to bear children during what should be the time of their lives. The first obvious one is that they want sex. Many of these girls don't really want to have children, but they believe that if they claim that their promiscuity is for their desire to have kids, they feel that it's a free pass to have as much sex as they want until they become pregnant (which they do not plan to do).

The other more obvious reason is love and affection. By having a child, these teenagers will produce a living thing that will not only depend and look up to them, but more importantly, love them unconditionally. Many teenagers of this state of mind come from broken families or have issues with their close families and feel unappreciated and starved for attention. So their 'logical' solution is to have a baby that will provide them the attention and affection they desire; at least until reality sinks in and regret being a teen mom.

Another reason, that is less likely an outcome, is that they want to make their family suffer by bringing in a baby that not only will be a burden on the teen, but also on her family. The reasons could be the same as the previous two, but this is one sprinkled with spite and hate. There are some sick individuals that the only way they can one-up their family is by bringing in a child that they will be forced to spend time with and raise, aside from their other kin.

So these are just a few reasons and I'm sure that there are others that are just as plausible.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Waiting for marriage to have sex never fucked up the lives of children, did it?

Actually, traditional marriage shows much higher rates of child (sexual) abuse, domestic violence and unhappyness. 'only sex within marriage' makes people rush into commitments they deem lifelong at first 'cuz they told me so in church' well before they are ready. Anyone I knew who married age 18-22 is now divored already, and often in a pretty ugly way to. The only exception having a whopping 17 year age gap between them (25 and 42, starting at 17 and 34), and I suppose her daddy complex keeps her all too happy with that guy.

Moral of the story: do what feels right, but also listen to what your common sense has to say.

I tend to go by statistics that were brought up in the 70s and 80s because I've seen rather different results. Granted people with the common sense and a clear, moral thought process of those decades are too few and scarce, but simply the thought of a statistic is enough to make people lose faith in their own personal accomplishments and goals in a relationship and matrimony. It all comes down to finding the right individual to settle down with and for many people, its not going to be someone that you meet between the ages of 18-22 (hence, WHY couples in this age group are prone to divorcing).

As far as sex goes, it is strictly a decision between the couple; some want to take the moral, religious high road, and others just like premarital sex. There nothing wrong with it, so long as you know what you want and your partner is ok with it.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I was 18 when I become a Mum, do I count as a teen?

Why should teen's be sad or worried about it? Like teens are the worse parents in the world; parents in their 30's are just as bad or even worse. Every age had good and bad parents, seriously, the sweeping statements are stupid.

The best age for your body to have a baby is teens and early 20's, as long as you/your partner can help support then why not? why should their be some age limit and why should I, as a young Mum be shamed and hidden from society.
I do a bloody good job in raising my child, better than a tonne of Women in their 30's who're screaming and hitting their children because they cannot handle them or Motherhood.

There's no right or wrong age to have children. The only worrying thing is support, financially, which can happen at any age.

I think it is more a maturity and monetary issue. MOST teens, in general I'm NOT saying anyone specific though I do know people around my city who fall into this, are NOT mature enough to have a child and don't have a job and, at least around here, most of the baby daddies are deadbeats who can barely support themselves let alone a child and a wife(if they even get that far).(Also, yes, I DO realise that some older people late 20s and up never do manage to grow up and be mature and responsible, they shouldn't be having children either). Personally, I think it is a matter of a few things: a)immaturity (and by that I mean the idea of "oh such and such celebrity is pregnant so I should too" or "this person is pregnant and I need to compete and get pregnant as well" or "this is the cool thing to do so I have to do this to fit in") b)irresponsibility (because hey, it's "not cool" to use condoms or any kind of birth control and pulling out is totally ok) c) a desperate attempt to keep the father in their life in a permanent way, for at least 18 years, because they may or may not be jealous bitches (seriously, no joke, One of my guy friends had this happen to him: He was having sex with this girl, used a condom even cause I do have some friends with brains, and caught her later, not long later mind you but still later I don't remember the exact time frame, with his condom, which he had thrown away in the bathroom, trying to get all his cum out to try and impregnate herself, seriously wtf. He kicked her out of his place and made her go home after making her wash her hands with him watching.) d)peer pressure (even by the guy it can happen, I've had guys try and convince me to get pregnant with their kids) or e) they want it just so they can be taken care of.
From what I've seen around my area, the teen mothers are USUALLY the worse mothers (and I'm spreading the word teen as 13 to 19 because yes, we do get them young around here, c'mon I walked through my old Elementary school a year or two ago to visit with a teacher or something and was appalled at the way the girls were dressing. I have no problem with people dressing how they want but seriously third graders in mini skirts and midriff baring tops? Those were fucking banned when I was in school.) I honestly feel bad for some of the kids around here. I have a former friend from college, married with a kid. His wife doesn't believe in ANY kind of discipline for their kid. Kid isn't even expected to clean up their own toys. If I didn't clean mine up I lost them AND got a swat on the butt AND got my ass 15 minutes of staring at a corner of the wall by the door. And I realise that we have some absolute ridiculous parenting laws now but seriously we wonder why kids have no respect or responsibility? Look at the parents and society...../end rant on kids in general and teen mothers.

Also, I agree with you by the way, poster I quoted, as a younger mother you shouldn't be shamed. And kudos to you if you've raised your child decently(I'm not going to say good per se since ya know I don't know you at all and therefore can't judge at all and I do realise parents CAN be biased towards their children which I'm not saying you are or aren't but I'm sticking with decently from your statement) it feels to me that even raising children decently is a hard thing to come by nowadays since a lot of people just........ don't.

 

[Angerwing]

I think these forums, and maybe even this sub-culture in general, has a problem with misogyny. All these references to 'sluts' are making me uncomfortable. Are we really going to judge a young person for having sex? When I was 15 or 16, sex was Life Goal #1. Many girls who get pregnant at a young age, do so with their boyfriends. It's not slutty or overly promiscuous to have sex with your partner, and it's just pathetic to claim it is. Honestly I'm getting the vibe of "I'm angry that I haven't had sex, so I'm going to say bad things about people who do."

The issue isn't promiscuity in my opinion, it's a lack of awareness of the likelihood of pregnancy, and what you can do to prevent that. The girls who deliberately get pregnant at 16 for welfare and stuff are very few, that's why there a TV shows of them, they're an oddity. Most of it is people accidentally getting pregnant, and not wanting to have an abortion or put it up for adoption. The pregnancy thing can happen to anyone. My brother knocked up his girlfriend a while ago, and a friend of mine did the same with his girlfriend. Both of them had abortions however.

And what's with the judgement party on FamoFunk? 18 isn't all that young, and the kid was obviously provided for, as she said. My mother was around the same age when she had my older brother (a bit older, but not by much), and she was, and is, a fantastic mother. We don't know the entire circumstances of this woman's child, so how about we back off before we make assumptions as to intent, income, education, blah blah blah.

 

[Devil's Due]

Actually yes, you were snooping, it's like having my own little stalker. Checking up on my profile and my Tweets, you're such a Gentleman <3
Those people are members of Escapist, not just general friends I see all the time, they too, also think you speak utter shit and just need to shut the fuck up.

That's actually a fairly disgusting mindset and I sincerely hope you shape up before you're removed from our community. Insulting people is one thing, such as right now I think you're a moron, but to spread it around behind peoples back and then constantly bombard them with insults and such hatred is just disgusting. You've been reported, by the way.

EDIT: No need, the moderation has already come. I really am slow to the parties sometimes here.

As for the thread: I'll just forward you all the show "16 and Pregnant" and you'll pretty much get the summed up version of most teenage mothers. Obviously not the majority, thankfully, but I'd be willing to bet a large sum. It's saddening, honestly.

But I'm willing to keep an open mind, and hope that with this new generation it brings about changes in how to perceive the situation. Only time will tell.

 

[gonzo20]

well time for a serious post i suppose, yes their are those poor young girls who have accidents or get into the mind set that they will be set for life and be on tv and all lollipops and rainbows but theres the other side to, like my mum who was 18 when she had me and we turned out fine, not the best but just fine. Hell if i had a child right now i would be screwed (im male btw ) because i dont have a job and im on the dole (bassically i get money for looking for a job and i fucking hate it, i just want a god dam job! fuck the economy) so yes sex is a wondeful thing (mind you ive only done it once because im a unsociable bastard and super negative so i turn a lot of people off) but people can accomplish much in their lives even if they have a baby early!

 

[vidirg]

I know what's happening, they want attention and that 15 and pregnant show on MTV isn't helping.