Paraphrased:
"Fans don't know what a fun game is; don't listen to them, they only think they know what they want."
Holycrap. This is exactly what I've been saying to people. THIS is why FPS's keep trying to make online co-op as balanced as possible, THIS is what causes nearly all the problems with the Xbox and the Playstation (and it's all the internet's fault.)
Nintendo isn't like that, though. They're old fashioned. They consider themselves to be the professionals. They save pandering for a cosmic event. Fan service is a carrot tied to a string held out by a stick that only does any good when it's dangling just barely out of reach of the fans and not in their mouths. As a fan, I am glad I--for one--understand this.
Of course, Nintendo has a lot of other, more interesting problems. And you, Yahtzee, pretty clearly think of the Wii as the weakest console, right? Well just in case you didn't fully realize it (but you probably have), Nintendo isn't out to do what you say you want either. Even though you're much smarter; you know for a fact almost exactly what will please you, but you're too small a minority. When someone plays video games every week as a job for as long as you have, their taste in video games change. Every big gaming-site reviewer has this weird, skewed perception of what makes a video game good or fun--
Pause the post for a minute. Sidebar I want to mention:
Every big gaming-site reviewer has this weird, skewed perception of what makes a video game good or fun, which unfortunately has widely-influenced the gaming habits of the regular players. For example, people complain about the Wii only having four or five good games a year, when the PS3/360 has, like, thirty. But do that many people really buy THAT many games? Or better question: SHOULD they? Is that a smart decision with your money? I only buy a handful of games every year. They're expensive! So why do so many people throw away so much money on generic FPS #2938 that is technically the best in its genre to date because of its *insert game design technical jargon here*, only to forget about it six months later for the next one? Because playing every game that comes out and quickly forgetting them is what game critics do; it's the only way to keep doing their job. What wasn't intended when game-reviewing got started, though, was that gamers would think of game critics as being uber-cool (which unfortunately, in hindsight, makes a lot of sense), and would pretty quickly start emulating their gaming personality. A personality that, as it turns out, sucks to have if you're a normal consumer.
Back to the main topic:
So most reviewers critique games like robots; their ability to have genuine fun fried up under the toil of work a long time ago, so judging games by technical qualities with theoretical numbers is the only way they can express their appreciation of a game, even to themselves.
Yahtzee is a typical game critic, except for his natural talent for being witty and funny, and his super-massive comprehension of raw, theoretical concepts. The latter of these empowers him to hold up against the stress of "games being work" for him as much as possible, but it was still not enough to completely save his poor, little fun receptors.
So he's able to be funny, he's able to make sense, he's able to make excellent arguments for his opinions (read: 95% OF THE REASON HE DOESN'T GET A THOUSAND TIMES MORE HATEMAIL THAN HE DOES), and he's able to gauge his perceived quality of a game without numbers. BUT, because video games are his job, he STILL can't help but have really weird opinions on games sometimes. For example again:
Super Mario Galaxy baked a huge, awesome-tasting pie that an average person could spend all month trying to finish, but only had enough time and space to give you a tiny slice, leaving you happy yet hungrier than you were before. Super Mario Galaxy 2 then came in and gave you another, slightly bigger slice of that pie. Perhaps the pie wasn't still as warm, and the shock of its sweetness doesn't have the kick it had in that first bite, but it's still one of the best pies ever baked.
Yahtzee, however, couldn't see that. Or at least couldn't honestly say that's how he felt. For being a game critic mutated his appetite; he can only consume from the cheese sampling tray; he needs to taste a new flavor, swallow it quickly and move on to the next. He can't--as I've said before--sit down with a whole lump of cheese and just gently, slowly chew it all away; savoring it; truly enjoying it like he once could.
"Once could" is said assumedly; for all I know he's always been like this. In which case he's even more perfect for the role of a game critic than I thought.
