Spoilers, of course.
I wasn't planning on it, but I ended up romancing Anders with my Male Hawke. I was a supporter of Mage rights, for my sister and for justice...and so everything was great. I found his story of life in the Chantry moving and we really clicked. I took him with me everywhere. Sure he was a healer, but I could have easily made Merril a healer instead. When I found out he'd lied to me about the potion, I refused to help him with whatever plot he had going on and we got into a bit of a fight.
He said, "So you dedication to mages ends at the Chantry door!"
I shot back, "That's not fair!"
It was upsetting, but the game went on. I kept trying to defuse the tensions between the templars and the mages. I didn't like Knight-Commander Meredith, and I sided with the Mages...but...I also saw the problems with mage's who were totally insane, and my sister seemed to be okay being in the Circle...so I really believed I might be able to broker a compromise.
Then there was the big confrontation. And I tried to be peacemaker. And then Anders's plan happened. I was devastated that he betrayed me like that...that he destroyed the chances at compromise I'd been working toward, that he condemned everyone to death, including perhaps, my sister. I couldn't salvage this. The rest of my party was horrified. Knight-Commander Meredith seemed even for a moment somewhat sympathetic--but she knew, that even though the Mages weren't to blame, there was no getting out of what was to come. And people withdrew, and I had to make a choice about what to do with Anders. The one who committed murder and betrayed me, our relationship, and my entire belief system. I chose to kill him. He knew that I had to do it.
It was one of the hardest decisions I've made in a video game. And yeah, that meant I didn't have a healer...except that I did, because my sister was a Healer. And she was back in my party for the final end battle. But I was really gutted by it all.
And that is why Bioware and DA2 was so excellent. That and what happens with your Mother...and with my little obsessed Merril...and so many other great RP moments.
And I've just started a second playthrough as a mage...because I can't imagine what the game would be like with Carver rather than Bethany. My experience the first time through had so much to do with having a mage sister I was trying to protect. What happens when that isn't the case? My sister ended up being taken to the Circle and later kidnapped from that circle...so what happens when I have a non-Mage brother?
The game is that compelling to me. And the romances are part and parcel of that.
As for romance options. The way I saw it was so:
1 aggressive male: Anders
1 aggressive female: Isabella
1 non-aggressive male: Fenris (he never hit on me once)
1 non-aggressive female: Merrill (she was a tad flirty, but not really)
It didn't seem to me that Aveline, Varric, or Sebastian were real romance options.
Anyway, I thought it was a really excellent game. And written in such a way that I actually want to do a second playthrough right away rather than later.