Face-Chomping "Vampire" Attacks Geriatric At Hooters

[spartan773]

Looks like someone decided to...

*puts on sunglasses*

Take a bite out of crime.

Yeah.

That was my first time doing that. Did I do it right?

it should've been bite actually.

 

[Double A]

Her eyes don't match...

So? If she were a vampire, we wouldn't be able to see her eyes because they don't appear in photos. She's just some crazy *****, or maybe she got high while watching a vampire movie. Who knows, and more importantly, who cares?

Vampires DO appear in photos...it's mirrors they don't...

I thought it was both.

 

[alandavidson]

I'm just a wee bit suspicious about this. I mean, were there any witnesses to this attack? Because if there weren't, I'm not entirely sure we should be rooting for the old man here. I mean, she isn't claiming she did it, and I'm having trouble believing that an old, wheel-chair bound man is going to escape from a young girl eager to literally chew his face off. The whole sans panties deal is curious as well. Doesn't seem implausible that maybe he tried to assault her, given his criminal record, and she fought back. She doesn't want to admit what happened, but isn't about to fess up to vampiric assault either.

Good point. Given the history of the two, it does seem likely. Although seemingly stable people have been known to snap.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

Yeah, I heard about this earlier today. It's weird, especially considering she has no criminal record.

I've been having this idea...

Dress up like a real vampire would. A homeless crazy as shit person.

Put in some weird eye contacts, put on some pale make up, and make him dirty. My vision of a real life vampire is a creature that is completely addicted to blood like a poor junkie.

Go to one of these vampire parties where people claim to be vampires who dress up like Dracula from the fables.

Say something when you are in the party to the head honcho or whatever like "You are not true vampire" and have a friend cut the lights.

Scare the shit out of everyone.

 

[JezebelinHell]

Anyone know the best way from Chicago to Florida? Planning a roadtrip. No reason in particular..
I'd fly, but the authorities told me I couldn't ship the throwing knives, bladed Crux and my whip with me; hell, not even my holy water!

I would say take I-70 east to Ohio. Plan on the traffic in Indy sucking balls no matter what time you hit it. Stop by my house with the whip for a bit to.. rest, yeah, rest. Then you can head out in the morning.. afternoon, whatever. Florida is a straight shot down I-75.

 

[Svenparty]

Best headline ever. Sounds to me like a typical evening it's up to the Rockstars to beat exposing yourself AND announcing your a vampire.

 

[duchaked]

oh gosh creepy picture making my head spin x.X

or maybe it's just cuz it's 5:30 am and I'm still not asleep...

 

[Actual]

The bit that's bugging me, is how does a homeless man power an electric wheelchair?

 

[Gauntes]

one thing is for sure
she's no Toreador

 

[Sparrow]

I guess she bit of more...

*puts on sunglasses*

...than she could chew.

YEAEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!

On a more serious point, sounds like that lady could do with a little trip to therapy. She cleary either has the best poker face known to man or she actually believes herself to be a vampire.

 

[JackandTom]

http://cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/library/deriv/70/70207.jpg

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Seriously though, she must have been on one hell of an acid trip.

 

[Alon Shechter]

It is starting again.
Men, ready your Holy Water guns!

 

[Trasken]

The masquerade has been compromised, the sheriff must enforce the law, she must receive her final death

 

[F'Angus]

Why was he Sleeping in the Street outside Hooters?

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

Understandably curious about this whole thing, the officers questioned Smith, but she was unable to explain the attack or why she was partially au naturel.

Smith is a 22-year-old college student with no apparent criminal history. Ellis has been described by police as "a transient" who has 12 arrests over the last four years for things like disorderly intoxication and battery.

This screams seedy wheelchair bound guy drugging young woman for sleazy purposes, drugged young woman through her stupor semi-conciously realises what is happening, fights back, collapses and forgets due to aforementioned drugs. Seedy guy then goes to phone and makes up any story he likes, vampires are the 'in' thing for young women, right?

I refuse to believe that on the evidence presented this is anything but what I've just deduced

okay... let me get this straight on what you are saying, a alcoholic wheelchair bound man, was able to catch, a 22 year old woman *with a jawline of a line man* drug her, molested her, then went to a gas station WITHOUT anyone noticing a obviously drugged/molested 22 year old woman screaming for help or anything, oh no wait she wasn't screaming for help or anything, what I am trying to say is how did a old man in a motorized wheelchair catch AND forcibly drug 22 year old woman, seriously, get off the whole feminism band wagon and stop making obvious attackers into victim just because feminism scores awesome intercool points. Also she probably had her pants and underwear down because blood turns her on, you think I am kidding, but that is a fetish, a weird fetish but one anyways.

By that same logic, how did an alcoholic wheelchair bound man get away from a woman completely off her tits (hey, that phrase actually makes sense in context for once!) who thought she was a frikkin' vampire?

Its a vampire, not a zombie. They bite for blood, not bite to kill (mostly).

Seriously, assuming the woman is automatically innocent is irrational and completely lacking in logic especially if you do mental gymnastics to try to justify the attacker. She attacked someone in a wheelchair. If a man did this, they would be calling for jail and not for him to get help.

According to his claims she said she wanted to eat him. So my question of how someone in a motorised wheelchair (you've seen how slow those things move, right?) got away still stands. She wanted to kill/eat him, and clearly he was in no position to adequately stop her (or he wouldn't have been wounded). So how'd he get away?

And I'm assuming that the woman is innocent because she has no criminal record and the guy making the claims has a rap sheet as long as my arm. If the genders were reversed and it was a known felon woman making claims against a no-previous-convictions man, I'd side with the man. Nothing to do with gender inequality, I just prefer to rely on reliable witnesses. If someone non-partisan came forward to confirm Ellis' story I'd happily admit I was wrong and share a laugh with you at the weird vampire lady. But rely solely on the word of a guy who has been charged with assault multiple times in the past? I think not

Was he drunk at the time, or just sleeping through the day for lack of anything else to do? Of course he may have been drunk and that fact skipped out of the news blog.

Hmm, good question. I assumed he was sleeping in the middle of the day, which suggests being drunk or trying to nap off the effects, but the article doesn't mention times. And even then he could just have been sleeping I suppose. But it does mention he's got form for being Drunk and Disorderly before...