"It's a fascinating voyage of pain and despair that leaves you emotional drained and satisfied, like fucking a burning dolphin."
Favorite Yahtzee Line on Zero Punctuation
- Thread starter SkullCap
- Start date
I've used this one before, and it's not even really a ZP line, but it's the best I've ever heard: "Fans are clingy, complaining dipshits who will never be happy no matter how many concessions you make for them and the sooner you shut out their loud, tremulous voices the happier we'll all be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation T-Shirt?"
I have several remembered quotes (in no particular order):
"Well, I guess even Sims players need something new every once in a while when they're not drinking Bacardi Breezers and having periods. I know what you're thinking. 'Yahtzee, you inappropriate menstruation joke! Why the reluctance? The Sims is more popular than a chocolate cunnilingus machine and afterward doesn't make you feel fat and ashamed!'"
"If the developers were hoping I'd consider buying the full game just to see what twing-twang is, then mission fucking accomplished, I suppose, but I'm going to be very disappointed if it isn't a cutesy euphemism for lesbian cunnilingus. Yeah, I went there!"
"I thought we perfected this technology! Push the analog stick forward to run, halfway to walk. This would have freed up another button for...I dunno. The Bat-Spank?"
"But once I mentally adjusted to Batman's underpants..."
"And war stops being glorious and starts being annoying, when you're replaying the same fucking bastard section for the nineteenth fucking bastard time, because you don't posses the bionic cyber-vision necessary to spot all fifteenth fucking bastard snipers who can draw a bead on and decapitate you before you can say 'Uncle Sam'!"
"Now, (displayed as "Nao") if you're making a knock-off of a good game, the least you could do is jerk--I mean knock--it off properly (not gay)."
"My favorite ones were the sniper missions where we lay in the long grass, covering each others back - NOT GAY!"
-awkward silence- "I'm not gay!"
"Let me speak directly for a moment..." -more for that particular scene-
"But the level designs are really good...like something good that's...made of chocolate. They're full of really creative mechanical devices and it's all got this wonderful charm about it that disarms you, then trips you up and plants your face into a muddy riverbed...made of chocolate."
"THAT'S PUSSY EVIL!"
"Not any of these metaphorical torture traps, just 'hack off an extremity where I can see you, *****!' Anyways, the whole scene gripped me by the BELL-END!"
"ome levels have hostile creatures, so you spawn Cthulhu. Yes, it is kind of funny the first time you spawn Cthulhu, but when I was spawning Cthulhu every level to clear out the token hostiles, the humor sank to Lolcat level."
"Helicopters, boulders, and Cthulhu."
"Well, I guess even Sims players need something new every once in a while when they're not drinking Bacardi Breezers and having periods. I know what you're thinking. 'Yahtzee, you inappropriate menstruation joke! Why the reluctance? The Sims is more popular than a chocolate cunnilingus machine and afterward doesn't make you feel fat and ashamed!'"
"If the developers were hoping I'd consider buying the full game just to see what twing-twang is, then mission fucking accomplished, I suppose, but I'm going to be very disappointed if it isn't a cutesy euphemism for lesbian cunnilingus. Yeah, I went there!"
"I thought we perfected this technology! Push the analog stick forward to run, halfway to walk. This would have freed up another button for...I dunno. The Bat-Spank?"
"But once I mentally adjusted to Batman's underpants..."
"And war stops being glorious and starts being annoying, when you're replaying the same fucking bastard section for the nineteenth fucking bastard time, because you don't posses the bionic cyber-vision necessary to spot all fifteenth fucking bastard snipers who can draw a bead on and decapitate you before you can say 'Uncle Sam'!"
"Now, (displayed as "Nao") if you're making a knock-off of a good game, the least you could do is jerk--I mean knock--it off properly (not gay)."
"My favorite ones were the sniper missions where we lay in the long grass, covering each others back - NOT GAY!"
-awkward silence- "I'm not gay!"
"Let me speak directly for a moment..." -more for that particular scene-
"But the level designs are really good...like something good that's...made of chocolate. They're full of really creative mechanical devices and it's all got this wonderful charm about it that disarms you, then trips you up and plants your face into a muddy riverbed...made of chocolate."
"THAT'S PUSSY EVIL!"
"Not any of these metaphorical torture traps, just 'hack off an extremity where I can see you, *****!' Anyways, the whole scene gripped me by the BELL-END!"
"ome levels have hostile creatures, so you spawn Cthulhu. Yes, it is kind of funny the first time you spawn Cthulhu, but when I was spawning Cthulhu every level to clear out the token hostiles, the humor sank to Lolcat level."
"Helicopters, boulders, and Cthulhu."
Heavy Rain
"It's like trying to jerk off a castrated dog. He won't thank you for it and all you'll get is wrist exercise."
"It's like trying to jerk off a castrated dog. He won't thank you for it and all you'll get is wrist exercise."
You press triangle to move your mouth and square to pick your nose.
You press X and O to wiggle your ears
You press X and O to wiggle your ears
WE LOST CONTACT! went a character.
BULL (what)
FUCKING (arbitary)
SHIT! (sillyness)
WE WERE CLOSE ENOUGH TO COMMUNICATE BY WAGGLING OUR EYEBORWS AT EACH OTHER!
BULL (what)
FUCKING (arbitary)
SHIT! (sillyness)
WE WERE CLOSE ENOUGH TO COMMUNICATE BY WAGGLING OUR EYEBORWS AT EACH OTHER!
