Um, guys, the Ladder Theory may work for the 100 IQ club (though it's terribly misogynistic), but it doesn't work for anyone that has a modicum of self awareness. I know that during the mating years (that is from puberty to the early thirties) it might be difficult to think past getting laid, but raw experience has taught me that after the two of you get each other off, your going to want to actually be able to relate.
And this is a good thing, since the Ladder Theory paints women to be prostitutes[footnote]Though in our capitalist society, aren't we all whoring ourselves out? Most of us only get proverbially fucked for compensation, though.[/footnote], and this is hardly the case.
First off, money makes any relationship easier. It's nice to be able to summon a pizza or a romantic dinner at whim, and scarcity, when it surfaces, is always a problem that distracts from, well, relating, in any tense, sexually or no. It doesn't really matter who has the money, though if there's a significant enough disparity in funds, the one who is less funded will find her (or his) own say in the relationship quickly dwindling; exempli gratia, it's much more difficult to not put out when your date can just leave you in Paris to make your own way back to Boise.[footnote]It's an old pressure trick for boys to drive their dates up to lookout point up in the mountains which not only provides a great view of the town, but also makes the girl dependent on him just to get home safely. If she puts up too much resistance, it could end really badly for her.[/footnote] A rich boyfriend[footnote]Feel free to swap genders, or apply this to same-sex relationships.[/footnote] might be a dream so long as he's into you, but once he loses interest, your dependence on him can be a significant liability. So it's good to be sure either that won't happen, or you have a way to keep him entertained after he comes.
Secondly, in my experience, women want sex as much as men do, but to them, social and physical consequences are far more likely, and egregious[footnote]Pregnancy aside, though it too remains an issue, Western Civilization still hasn't outgrown disparaging sexually active women, and plenty of Eastern cultures haven't even outgrown female circumcision [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_cutting].[/footnote], so they have to be much more cautious when deciding with whom they casually hook up.
And the Ladder Theory doesn't explain athletes, artists and rockstars, most of whom are broke and get a groupie following anyway. Of course, you need to put that 10,000 hours into honing your art (or your body), but it's better than putting a similar amount of time into a single relationship that's ultimately not going to pan out.
For those of us who are in the geek culture(s) seeking partners in same, a direct approach will work wonders. I prefer the London phraseology You know, I fancy you like mad. as opposed to the American sidestepping, though Hi, I'm Uri is a great start. If she's disinterested, and you're only interested in nailing her, move on. Get yourself into activity groups where you will meet others with whom you'll share a more poly-faceted interest in each other. When you find the right one, something will happen.
238U.
