First Date, Gifts From The Guy

[NightmareWarden]

I give my girlfriend gifts whenever the situation suits it, my girlfriend's life is shit so I give her as much love as I can. Though to be honest I'd love to start being the one getting gifts, she doesn't have a job but even home made macaroni art would make me happy.

That's *sniff* the saddest story I've ever heard. Here, have a hug *hugs tightly*.

I find that early on in a relationship that DOING something for your special someone is more satisfying (for both parties) than simply buying them something. Making them a meal, giving them a massage for a sore neck/shoulders, making a picture or animation through photoshop or flash, or something like that. I'd even be open to the idea of the two of us going to a salon for a manicure together if he/she was the type that would not get freaked out by a man doing that. (Note that I mean these for early in a relationship, but probably not first or second date stuff.

On to the thread starter's specific situation: It seems like the guy was working more towards making you happy as opposed to making a good impression. Since y'all decided to break it off, maybe he felt guilty for wasting your time. End things on a high note and all that. I don't think what he did was cool. On the other hand I have no idea specifically how you declined his gifts so maybe he was just very oblivious to your irritation.
In short: Bad on the guy's part, but the way you handled it MIGHT have contributed.

 

[Angie7F]

I was flattered when guys brought me a little bouquet of flower on the first date.
but anything more than a few bucks is too much pressure.
It is the thought that counts, not the price

 

[NoeL]

As a man, I don't give first date gifts beyond offering to pick up the tab (or maybe something small, like cliche flowers or chocolates). I don't spend much money on them because it gives the impression I'm trying to buy them, and I don't want her to feel like she's obliged to put out or anything. And if the guy tries shit like "You won't invite me in? But I bought you Psychonauts!" feel free to punch them in the dick.

 

[KungFuJazzHands]

No gifts at all until we're both sure a relationship can proceed without major problems. Same goes for paying for dates too -- if I happen to go on a date with a woman who's unwilling to throw in her bit and pay for half, then there's no second or third.

Chivalry is dead. Long live equality.

 

[Mr Mystery Guest]

Giving gifts on a date? Is this really a thing? I've never heard about it. Come to think of it you do see men give women flowers on the TV but they either end up left in the restaurant or in the bin. Fuck that flowers are too expensive. Actually only ever date a florist then she won't want you to remind her of work and she'll tell you not to buy any.

 

[FamoFunk]

I don't think buying a small gift if you already knew each other is odd. Lots of big/expensive gifts is weird though, that would make me feel a little uncomfortable.

I'd always offer to split the bill etc. but if a guy insists, I'd happily let him, but make sure I do contribute at other points.

 

[generals3]

Men: Do you feel the need to impress the female by giving gifts?

No, but at the same time i enjoy giving things to people i like. For instance I don't mind buying my friends a beer when going out or handing out cigarettes either.

Do you find it annoying if the girl attempts to help pay the bill, or refuses what you're trying to give her?

Yes. I think it's common courtesy to accept a gift. Unless it's totally over the top (like offering an extremely fancy piece of jewelry on a first date), in which case something is mostly likely fishy.

Bill wise it would bother me less. I would probably not even try to insist anyway.

 

[darlarosa]

I always feel weird about it, but I recognize that if a person wants to be nice let them because that's what I'd want. On the first date my now boyfriend and I discussed it before hand. He's the sort of guy who likes to pay for things and just randomly buys gifts for me. If we're at a restaurant he'll usually flip the bill, but only because he has a job and I don't. Even then I like to cover the tip, which he appreciates.

It's about...letting someone be nice, but still finding a balance.

 

[rasputin0009]

Male answering.

I've never given a gift on a first date other than a single rose. I definitely pay for the whole date, and would probably be taken aback if a date insisted on splitting a bill. And that's only because it'd be ruining my chance to give myself a much needed ego boost to keep the nerves in check on a first date.

On the second date, however, I'm for sure okay with splitting a bill. I'll actually be very impressed by such an independent woman that doesn't need to be provided for.

When is it appropriate for gifts? I dunno, Christmas and Birthdays? Flowers are usually appropriate at any time because they just die within a week or two. I much rather spend my money on activities for dates than materialistic momentos.