First off, Max, here's a website you'll learn to relate to: Not Always Right [http://www.notalwaysright.com]
My first job was a paperboy for a local newspaper that went out of print before I was there for a year.
I then went on to be a Little League umpire, enjoying baseball but not being very good at it, myself. It was a great job, until one of the coach-father bastards decided that I was going to be his proverbial punching bag because my calls never went his way.
My first "real" job (as in, a job that produced a W2) was at a bowling alley, working the counter. I thoroughly enjoyed that job, since on Friday and Saturday nights, I felt like a rock star, since I was the only one working who was around the age group of the customers and was thus put in charge of the music. I was also the only person working there in a span of 3 years to leave by choice.