First thing you'd say after rising from a coma.

[Paksenarrion]

This thread made me think of this:

 

[silver wolf009]

So, how did that whole Egypt thing turn out?
OR
I have awoken. And soon shall the great old ones awaken to reclaim their kingdom.

 

[MadCapMunchkin]

"I have slept and now I have awakened...and the universe will be sorry..."

or, in a more comedic manner...

Spoiler

"Goddamn, that was some rough sex!"

 

[Mariakitten]

"did I fall asleep"?
hopefully followed by,
"for a little while".

 

[kidigus]

*reaches for nearest person, grips clothing*
"Can he still speak?!"
"Who?"
"Beiber."
"Who the hell is beiber?"
*Que the cheesy inspirational music!*

Fucking. Internet. Win.

 

[Kuroneko97]

"So, once I can feel my crotch, which lucky guy wants to pound me?"

or

"You cared enough to stay by me the entire time?...You pussies."

 

[bodyguarddied]

"I return to you now at the turn of the tide"
"I return to deliver a message"
"SNAKE! IT'S NOT OVER YET!!!!"

 

[Super Toast]

DID THEY FIND THE BODIES?!?

 

[_Cake_]

I guess it would depend how old I am. If it's just a year "DRAGON AGE 2!" If it has been like 5 years "Dragon Age 2 & 3 oh god I'm 30, I need to get layed! Fallout 4 fuck it" 15 years and it's a lot of sobbing and the me getting married and having a kid ASAP, fuck looks... And then playing lots of "old" game while I'm knocked-up for the next 5 years XD

 

[Resonantscythe]

"Ugh, that's it. No more busty chicks for me."

"Has Bethesda stopped releasing glitchtastic games yet?"

Or

"Please tell me they still make baconators"

 

[DSK-]

"Just like the morning after shoreleave"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~!!!!!"

Or just randomly join a conversation when I wake up, if people are talking nearby, like what happened when I woke up from my operation and started recommending a male nurse places to buy more RAM for his laptop and asking loads of technical questions. I couldn't open my eyes or move my body very well. That was pretty awesome

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

1) "Where are my shoes?"
2) "Did I leave the oven on?"
3) "And we're back!"
4) "That's the last time I try to car surf a train!"
5) "The answer in 7! 7, you hear me!!!"

 

[BioHazardMan]

"Is Episode 3 out yet?"

Funniest thing I've read today.

In the words of Walt Disney, "Are the Jews dead yet"?

Not trying to be hateful, just thought it's kind of funny.

 

[Carlston]

Beware the...

DWARF.

Then go back into coma.

 

[Amaury_games]

1) "Where are my shoes?"
2) "Did I leave the oven on?"
3) "And we're back!"
4) "That's the last time I try to car surf a train!"
5) "The answer in 7! 7, you hear me!!!"

No, the answer is 42...

By the way, that would be another funny thing to say: "Where is my towel?"

 

[Nargleblarg]

Get our of the way so I can unleash my new psychic powers.

 

[cryogeist]

realisticly..."what the fuck..."
silly
"im hungry...."

 

[Danpascooch]

"Well, fuck"

 

[pyrosaw]

Live, from New York, It's Saturday night!"

 

[Death God]

"I seen heaven... it is a lot smaller than you would have thought."